- SM is voluntary. The partners agree to erotic power exchange of their own free will and choice. Either partner is free to leave at any time. The fact that SM relationships do split (amiably or not) without retaliation or violence supports the importance of this distinction.
- SM is consensual. All partners involved agree to what is going to happen. Discussion of limits is usual and customary. Violation of those limits is a serious offense within the SM community.
- SM partners are informed. Participants involved in erotic power exchange have an understanding of the possible consequences.
- SM partners ask for and enjoy the behavior; they are often disappointed if the behavior does not happen. There is no apology for the behavior after it is over, rather both partners are happy and satisfied that it occurred.
- SM partners take great care to make sure that their activities are as safe as possible. To truly damage their partner would deny themselves of being able to participate in the behavior. Individuals that violate their partners limits soon find that they are lacking partners in which to engage in the behavior. To emphasize the point, SM groups frequent hold educational meetings on how to safely engage in the behavior.
SM is not Domestic Violence
NCSF’s 2014 Roundup
NCSF’s 2014 Roundup 2014 has been a year of progress for NCSF and for people who are kinky and nonmonogamous. The national conversation about gay marriage, consent, and even Fifty Shades of Grey are transforming mainstream attitudes. The change in the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM-5 stating that BDSM is a healthy form of sexual expression has also had a significant impact on both the courts and public opinion about kink. Education Outreach Project The NCSF Board Members and presenters gave Education Outreach Project workshops and tabled at 36 events in 2014 (compared to 22 in 2013), with a…
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom: Are you ready for the Fifty Shades of Gray Movie?
Does your media agency have resources for these special interest pieces? Contact the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom for interviews and information on kink and open relationships. NCSF is the national advocate for consensual adult sexual expression. Why kink? There has been a significant interest in BDSM sparked by the wildly successful Fifty Shades of Grey. Similar topics appeared in recent TV Shows from CSI to House to Desperate Housewives, and even animated shows such as American Dad. Furthermore many people, married and otherwise, are discovering and practicing non-monogamy. From polyamory to swinging to open relationships, a notable percentage of the public are shifting their relationship parameters in an honest…
50 Shades of NCSF Palm Cards
GayLawNet Joins Forces with NCSF
NCSF’s Kink Aware Professionals joins forces with GayLawNet NCSF has expanded the reach of its Kink Aware Professionals by collaborating with GayLawNet, which now offers a way for lawyers in their database to self-identify as Kink Aware Professionals: gaylawnet.com/attorneys/ussolc.html “Whenever someone can’t find a lawyer in NCSF’s KAP list, I always refer them to GayLawNet,” says Susan Wright, spokesperson for NCSF. “Many of their gay-friendly lawyers are eager to work with kinky people, and the GayLawNet database is huge.” NCSF recently started an outreach campaign to the lawyers who have listed themselves on GayLawNet to let them…
SM vs. Abuse - Leather Leadership Conference Statement
SM vs. Abuse - Leather Leadership Conference Statement This brochure is intended to help law enforcement and social services professionals understand the difference between abusive relationships vs. consensual sadomasochism (SM).
Law Enforcement Field Guide to SM
Law Enforcement Field Guide to SM The purpose of this brochure is to provide law enforcement with a basic level of understanding about adults whose sexuality and lovemaking includes consensual sadomasochistic (SM) activities, and to provide information to assist you when you encounter an SM event.
Wallet Card (Word document) A pocket reference for dealing with law enforcement
EOP Overview Mission Statement and a brief description of goals and presentations offered
Life & Death Issues for the Alternative Community
The purpose of this presentation is to acquaint members of the alternative lifestyle communities with issues that may arise from the nature of their relationships both during life as well as in the event of death or disability. Many of us are involved in dedicated relationships outside of the traditional…
Field guide for law enforcement
The following is a handout prepared by The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom aimed at educating law enforcement on the realities of SM. The purpose of this handout is to provide law enforcement with a basic level of understanding about adults whose sexuality and lovemaking includes consensual sadomasochistic (SM) activities,…
What is SM Presentation
For detailed information about the content of this presentation, please visit What is SM?
The purpose of this material is to assist SM/Leather/Fetish groups who are considering hosting an alternative lifestyle event. The goal in presenting this material is to assist in developing a positive relationship with local hospitality venues. Download the pdf
How to choose an attorney
Choosing a lawyer can be difficult, especially if you have to do it at the time you are arrested. If at all possible, establishing a working relationship with an attorney whom you trust before the need for an attorney arises, is obviously the most desired and beneficial route. The lawyer…
Police Interactions ? What to do when you deal with police
Police Interactions ? What to do when you deal with police Your basic legal rights and responsibilities may not always be clearly defined by law enforcement officials. If stopped or detained, politely ask the police officer “why” in a manner that is not confrontational. Remember, your priority should be to…
Juvenile/CPS/Child Services for BDSM Parents
Juvenile/CPS/Child Services for BDSM Parents The concerns that result from contact with local and state child welfare authorities are occasionally troublesome for members of the SM/leather/fetish/poly communities. It is often difficult to accept the necessity of interacting with child/protective services and child/family services workers. Such persons are often empowered to…
Child Custody & Divorce: Considerations for Alternative Lifestyles
Child Custody & Divorce: Considerations for Alternative Lifestyles The problems that arise in child custody disputes between spouses and partners create special concerns for members of the SM/leather/fetish/poly communities. In addition to the general tribulations that arise with privacy and personal security, these issues also require difficult decisions at a…
Doing SM Related Legal Research
Doing SM Related Legal Research The law is interpreted – sometimes to our favor, and sometimes not. For example, while the NCSF firmly believes that consensual SM activity between adults is legal, there are those that have a differing opinion and will intentionally interpret the law in an unfavorable way. …
Protecting Your Event
Protecting Your Event There are many considerations organizers must contend with when planning a large event. Large events include educational and social conferences, leather contests, weekend play parties, vendor markets, swing events and club run0s. In light of recent attacks by religious and political extremists, here are some suggested guidelines…
Protecting Yourself Legally
Protecting Yourself Legally Members of the SM/leather/fetish communities have always had some level of concern regarding the issues of privacy, discretion, and personal security. The Radical Right, employers, ex-partners, and others may pose threats to these concepts. Many times their motivation comes from ignorance, but new motivations like custody of…
Traveling With Toys
Traveling With Toys While there have always been security issues involved in travel, the current political climate, as well as new legislation, has changed the procedures used to achieve security, as well as changing the allowable items to be carried with the traveler. Security measures have been heightened as never…
Swing Groups & Law Enforcement: Group Issues
Swing Groups & Law Enforcement: Group Issues It is important for swing groups and businesses to have an understanding of the relationship between the swing community and law enforcement, as well as the numerous legalities that can effect group functions. Once this is accomplished, your group can dispel myths, educate…
Approaching Your Local Authorities
Approaching Your Local Authorities The purpose of this presentation is to educate law enforcement, prosecutors, or other authorities about SM-Leather- Fetish and/or swing practices on behalf of a local group(s). NCSF's goal in presenting this material is to help local group(s) to develop a positive relationship with their local authorities. …
Zoning for SM & Swing Groups and Businesses
Zoning for SM & Swing Groups and Businesses Zoning and permit issues are commonly used as a tool of local governments when seeking a method to attack SM groups and businesses. Typical "crimes" such as indecent exposure, lewd conduct, and the like are subject to interpretation by the police, prosecutor,…
The Alleged Domestic Violence Call
The Alleged Domestic Violence Call It is important for SM/leather/fetish persons to have an understanding of the relationship between the SM community and law enforcement and of the numerous legal issues that can effect us ? specifically the law enforcement response to an alleged domestic violence call. Once this is…
SM Groups & Law Enforcement: Group Issues
SM Groups & Law Enforcement: Group Issues It is important for SM/leather/fetish groups to have an understanding of the relationship between the SM community and law enforcement and of the numerous legalities that can effect their group functions. Once this is accomplished, the group can dispel myths, educate its members,…