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Support the NCSF Foundation through Amazon SMILE donations

on Thursday, 30 November 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

We are thankful for everyone who supports NCSF's work to fight discrimination against kinky and non-monogamous people. On Black Friday, go to smile.amazon.com/ch/54-2010299 and Amazon will donate to the NCSF Foundation; Institute for 21st Century Relationships Inc.

This is why polyamorous people don't feel jealousy

on Thursday, 30 November 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Business Insider

"However, through her research she has found that polyamorous people are often more open and better at communicating with each other — so if jealousy was getting the better of someone, they may be more likely to talk to their partners about it, rather than letting it stew."

BDSM Yoga Exists, for Some Reason

on Thursday, 30 November 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Broadly

Kink yoga, for White, is “a lot to do with having control over anxiety. This is why I’m really drawn to yoga, because it calms me, it keeps me grounded. Life sometimes has a way of holding you so tight that you can’t breathe. So does latex.”

November 23rd is National Polyamory Day in Canada

on Thursday, 30 November 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

November 23rd is National Polyamory Day in Canada. On that day in 2011, BC’s Supreme Court ruled that Canada’s so called “anti-polygamy law” does not apply to unformalized polyamorous households -- clarifying that polyamory, as it is typically practiced in Canada, is legal and not a criminal act.

Prior to November, 23, 2011, it was questionable if polyamory was legal in Canada.

If you agree that people who are polyamorous are entitled to the same same rights, privileges, and governmental accommodation that others have, please circulate this image to others on your blogs, in email, and on social media such as Facebook and Twitter.

Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Thank you from the CPAA (Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association) - https://www.facebook.com/PolyAdvocacy/

This Solange-Approved Singer Comes Into Her Own With a Chic Visual Ode to Polyamory

on Thursday, 30 November 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Vogue

Tolkin describes the song’s narrative thrust as asking to bring “another lover into a relationship with the same nonchalance as asking if the garbage has been taken out or what to eat for dinner.” Considering the song is about indulging your romantic fantasies, Tolkin, who styled the video herself, said that she wanted “the textures and colors to feel very sensual and luxurious.”

Keeping Austin Kinky

on Thursday, 30 November 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

The Austin Chronicle

Engaging and informing folks about sex ed has been Forbidden Fruit's mission for 37 years now. “We’re trying to destigmatize anything that has to do with people’s own personal journeys to discover what turns them on,” explains co-owner Lynn Raridon. “What is the basis of their sexuality and their sensuality, and what is going to help them explore their intimate desires and be able to comfortably express those with a partner so that part of their life can be much more fulfilling,” she explains.

Guest Blog: The Case for Better Polyamory Representation

on Thursday, 30 November 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

by Race Bannon

A friend of mine, Stormy Styles, related strongly to a recent post she saw on Facebook. She copied and edited the text a bit to add some of her own thoughts, then posted it to her Facebook timeline. The reaction was remarkable. The post was quickly shared and copied and widely discussed. I copied and shared her post too and the reaction was equally viral. It struck a nerve.

That nerve it struck is the frustration so many of us polyamorous (poly) people feel when the topic of our way of loving and configuring relationships is discussed outside of our own poly circles. Yes, poly is slowly becoming a viable alternative to the traditional two-person or monogamous choices, but it’s nowhere near to being widely accepted. We’ve got a long way to go.

To nudge that acceptance along, here are some of the reasons why us poly folks feel positive representations of our relationships are so important. I’ve modified the language used by Stormy somewhat to be more widely applicable and included some input I saw when it was posted. If you can think of others, or wish to discuss this topic, feel free to comment.

Why do I want better polyamory representation?

Because when someone doesn’t want to date me because I’m poly it’s “understandable,” but when I don’t want to date someone because they are monogamous it’s “ridiculous.”

Because all relationship advice tells you that if you have feelings for someone else while you’re in a relationship you’re a bad person.

Because even feminists try to slut shame (but believe me, all types of people try to slut shame).

Because when I tell people me and my partner have an open relationship they assume it’s because we’re going through a rough patch.

Because people equate “multiple partners” with “predator” and think everything I say is an attempt to get in their pants.

Because I am fed up that love triangles are easy plot devices in media.

Because the LGBTQ movement is so desperate to show “allies” they are “just like everyone else” that they shit on everyone with a non-monogamous dynamic.

Because when a monogamous couple have sex with each other every night it’s having an active sex drive. When I have sex with a different partner every night I’m a nymphomaniac.

Because people assume polyamory is just about multiple sex partners instead of multiple “loving and committed” relationships and instead conflate polyamory with swinging when they’re totally different lifestyles.

Because people think that monogamy equals validity, always.

Because monogamous heteronormativity is so ingrained that I don’t even feel like I can dance with someone without telling them the complete logistics of my love life.

Because people genuinely believe that raising a child communally is damaging to development.

Because when I say “I could never be monogamous” I get dirty looks.

Because too many people have tried to confide in me when they’re cheating because “I thought you, of all people, would understand.”

Because I can’t talk about my relationship troubles with my monogamous friends because “I always have something to fall back on.” As if my relationships are meaningless.

Because being polyamorous isn’t an “alternative lifestyle.” It is just how I choose to live “my” life so I can be happy.

Because being polyamorous does not mean I’m afraid of commitment. I’m able to commit to many types of relationships. And love more than one person.

Because it’s unfair to ask any one person to be your or their everything.

Because needing multiple or different kinds of energy or chemistry does not make me greedy or selfish.

Because if I talk about a relationship problem, it will be assumed that our non-monogamy is the problem. (Therapists, take note of this one. Too many therapists default to misconceptions about polyamory.)

Because jealousy is a symptom that needs healing, not a proof of love.

Because my family isn’t comprised of what I was born into, but rather what I create with intention and integrity.

Because I’m tired of people saying to me “I could never share,” as if there is a limited capacity to love others. Yet, if you press them on loving their kids, relatives, parents and best friend, they say “oh that’s not the same.”

Those are just some of the many reasons why poly people want to see more positive representations of who we are and what we do in the media and wherever the topic is discussed.

A Black Queer Couple Candidly Explores Polyamory in '195 Lewis'

on Thursday, 30 November 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Colorlines

“Rae and Yaani constantly joke that, when they moved to Brooklyn [from the South], they weren’t used to experiencing what they saw here,” Pearson says. “They pulled from new experiences with these things, like polyamory, open relationships and radical honesty. And I certainly pulled from my experience navigating polyamory for several years.”

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