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I do, I do, and I do! These three men just got legally married to each other

on Saturday, 17 June 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Queerty

By Graham Gremore

Actor Victor Hugo Prada and his two partners, sports instructor John Alejandro Rodriguez and journalist Manuel Jose Bermudez, just signed papers making them a legally married throuple.

 

“We wanted to validate our household… and our rights, because we had no solid legal basis establishing us as a family,” Prada announced in a video shared by Colombian media earlier this week.

 

The papers were signed on Monday with a solicitor in the city of Medellin and establish the men as a family unit with inheritance rights.

 

They are the first legally recognized polyamorous family in Colombia.

 

Lawyer and gay rights activist German Rincon Perfetti tells the AFP, “It is a recognition that other types of families exist.”

 

Same-sex marriage was legalized in Colombia in April 2016, making it the fourth South American country to do so, after Argentina, Brazil, and Uruguay.

 

Now that the papers have been signed, the trio says they’re planning a marriage celebration, which they promise will be an “artistic and cultural event.” Then, of course, comes the honeymoon!

 

Congrats to the happy trouple!

Work and play: Discrimination in tradie and kink communities

on Wednesday, 14 June 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Archer

By: Kyle Bissell

I‘ve known I was pansexual since I was sixteen. It was never an issue in my family. At eighteen, I got involved in the kink community and later got a job as a joiner, making hardwood windows and doors. Looking back, there was homophobia, sexism and discrimination ingrained in both tradie and kink cultures.

 

In fact, it was the queerphobia I experienced in those months working as a joiner that opened my eyes to the more subtle homophobia of the kink community.

 

When I first started working as a joiner, I found it difficult to believe how common the homophobia was there. I’d barely ever heard the word “poofter” used un-ironically until then. The people I worked with were certain that they knew all about gay people.

 

discrimination in kink tradie

Discrimination can pertain to certain body types. Photo: torbakhopper. Photo licensed under Creative Commons 2.0. 

One person in particular told me that, after going on a road trip, he now hated Victoria because, “it’s where all the fags live.” I wish I’d been told sooner, I would have considered moving. Another one of my co-workers once outright claimed to be “anti-gay.”

 

All the negative views of queer people I saw in my work made those three months as a joiner the only times in my life that I felt the need to closet myself. On multiple occasions, I let slip a comment that hinted at my alternative sexuality and each time the laughter I received was uproarious. To the people that I worked with it was impossible to believe that I could possibly be anything but straight. The simple idea of it was funny to them, which was ultimately why I left.

 

What shocked me most was that the homophobia in the factory wasn’t just limited to the old men that worked there. People who were around my age of twenty or so were often just as bad, though generally less aggressive. Homophobia in the younger workforce seemed almost like a response to peer pressure from the older tradies.

 

I think that is where the BDSM/kink community and the tradie workplace share the root of their discrimination. From the first event I went to in the kink scene, I was openly pansexual, and the response was very unconcerned. People were accepting in a way that didn’t need to call attention to anything.

 

My sexuality got the same reaction as my wearing glasses: people noticed it and then went about their own business. Yet even in that community,  there are still problems with the reception of gender identity and sexuality.

 

There are a great deal of different forms that the subtle homophobia takes within the kink scene, but the one which I have seen the most is focused on young submissive and effeminate males. This subtle discrimination never came across through direct language or action, but through othering behaviours. Once, I was with a friend of mine at an event. His age, race and gender were the same as mine, and the only difference was that he was submissive.

 

The organiser of the event, an older member of the scene, would address me but barely acknowledge my friend, looking straight past him. My friend identified as bisexual at the time, and people would constantly refer to him as gay, even if they had been corrected before.

 

There were, of course, older straight submissive men who were entirely welcomed as a part of the community. It was only because he was submissive and queer that my friend was treated this way. Even in something as transgressive and liberating as kink, there are still forms of discrimination based on body size and preference that can be homophobic.

 

Much like the tradie community, this kind of discrimination seems to be passed down from veterans of the scene, who often look straight past the offending demographic. This attitude spreads easily through the community, when those that are viewed with respect make simple comments at the expense of a particular group. ...

I do, I do, and I do! These three men just got legally married to each other

on Wednesday, 14 June 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Queerty

By Graham Gremore

Actor Victor Hugo Prada and his two partners, sports instructor John Alejandro Rodriguez and journalist Manuel Jose Bermudez, just signed papers making them a legally married throuple.

 

“We wanted to validate our household… and our rights, because we had no solid legal basis establishing us as a family,” Prada announced in a video shared by Colombian media earlier this week.

 

The papers were signed on Monday with a solicitor in the city of Medellin and establish the men as a family unit with inheritance rights.

 

They are the first legally recognized polyamorous family in Colombia.

 

Lawyer and gay rights activist German Rincon Perfetti tells the AFP, “It is a recognition that other types of families exist.”

 

Same-sex marriage was legalized in Colombia in April 2016, making it the fourth South American country to do so, after Argentina, Brazil, and Uruguay. ...

Open Relationships Are Less Sexually Satisfying Than Monogamy, Study Finds

on Sunday, 11 June 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Vice

Around 82 percent of people in monogamous relationships said they were satisfied with their sex lives, while only 71 percent of polyamorous people said the same.

 

Stepping into an open relationship can often times help people survive long-distance relationships or work through jealous feelings, but according to a new study, it doesn't always lead to a satisfying sex life.

 

According to Quartz, a Berlin research group surveyed roughly 11,000 people from all over the European Union and found that monogamous and married couples are significantly happier with their sex lives than those in open or polyamorous relationships.

 

The findings, which were released in May, found that 82 percent of those in monogamous relationships were satisfied with their sex lives, beating out all other romantic setups. About 80 percent of married folks reported being sexually satisfied, while only 71 percent of those in open or polyamorous relationships felt the same way.

 

Those numbers, unsurprisingly, take a sharp, sad nosedive when you look at single people. Just 48 percent of people who weren't in a relationship (but weren't looking for one) reported being happy with their sex lives, while only 40 percent of singles who were looking for love were sexually satisfied.

 

But when it comes to having a happy and fulfilling relationship, sex isn't always everything. According to a study published last month in Perspectives on Psychological Science, researchers from the University of Michigan found that people in open or poly relationships were generally much less jealous—and significantly more trusting—than their monogamous counterparts.

 

Dalia's survey also found that regardless of what kind of romantic arrangement they're into, people are having the best sex of their lives between the ages of 25 and 30—and that's both men and women. On top of that, Spaniards are having the most satisfying sex, while only 23 percent of people in Poland said they were "very satisfied" with their sex lives. ...

Science Says Polyamory May Lead To Happiness

on Sunday, 11 June 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

The rules do not apply.

The Fresh Toast

By: Maria Loreto

The modern world is obsessed with love and with finding a partner with whom you can spend forever with. Every movie, book and TV show tricks us into believing in soulmates and one true loves, in finding that one person in the whole world who’ll be your perfect match and who’ll spend the rest of your life with you. But what about polyamory?

 

Sadly, this pervasive belief in monogamy doesn’t apply that well to real life. 40 to 50 percent of married couples end up divorced and the rate is even higher for couples who’ve been married previously. Younger generations have started to slowly change mentalities and revolutionize how the world views sex and love. An estimated 4 to 5 percent of americans who are involved in romantic and sexual relationships with a partner are open to finding love outside of their relationship. 

 

This phenomenon is known as polyamory, the belief that people can have more than one romantic and sexual partner at the same time. Polyamorous individuals believe in communication, in discussing their needs and requirements openly, and in creating a consensually non-monogamous relationship where everyone knows where they stand.

 

“People in these relationships really communicate. They communicate to death,”

 

Bjarne Holmes, a psychologist from Vermont, believes that communication is a value that polyamorous individuals can teach to monogamous ones. He expressed that polyamorous people care a lot about their emotions, especially honesty and communication. These people engage in a lot of bargaining with their partners, discussing and trying to please each individual’s wants and needs. 

 

One of the most puzzling and interesting things about polyamory is their relationship to jealousy. The general population would feel bad if the person they’re in love with had sex or fell in love with someone else. Polyamorous people feel “compersion”, a feeling of happiness when a partner finds love outside of you.  In heterosexual relationships, men feel more insecure for sexual infidelity while women worry about emotional infidelity. In polyamorous relationships, there are no gender differences when it comes to emotional or sexual infidelity. These individuals still get jealous, but they try to find the root of their problem, why they’re feeling that way, and what they can all do to establish some boundaries and make everyone feel as safe as possible.  

 

The study of polyamory is a new field that still needs a lot of research and study. Similar research could include the studies during the 70’s conducted on swingers and couples who explored sex with other people with their partners consent. This phenomenon is different because these couples engaged in this behavior sporadically; they were still monogamous in their day to day lives. ...

 

Kink scene ‘rope master’ seeks $1.5 million from burlesque star in defamation case

on Saturday, 10 June 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Baltimore Post Examiner

BY ANTHONY C. HAYES 

In the dark world of kink, clear parameters must be agreed upon by all parties involved before entering a scenario in their sadomasochistic sex play. But what happens when something goes “very wrong” and one or more parties feel they have been injured? Can one lawfully allege in an online forum that they have been sexually assaulted without ever filing a police report? What is the responsibility of the kink community in rightly dividing fact from fiction when a charge against one of its members has been made? And when does consensual sex between adults playing out an erotic fantasy cross that knotty line and become a “consent violation”?

 

These are prickly questions the U. S. District Court in Baltimore may be obliged to decide if a lawsuit now in the legal system ever sees its way to trial.

 

The lawsuit in this unusual case was filed May 17 – not by the alleged victim of the assault – but by the man she maintains committed a consent violation. He, in response to her online accusations, is claiming defamation of character and seeking compensation to the tune of $1.5 million.

 

 

Troubling to many in the highly secretive kink community is the names of both the plaintiff (Brett Wade of Baltimore) and the defendant (Erin Chaney Foster of Albuquerque, New Mexico) are now a matter of public record. But the case also is sending shockwaves throughout the greater burlesque community as Foster’s stage name – Sophia Sunday – also has been cited as her alias in the lawsuit.

 

In a 12-page complaint, obtained by the Baltimore Post-Examiner, Wade vehemently maintains the alleged consent violation against Sunday never took place. Wade lays out a nearly year-long timeline, in which he says a “deep relationship” with Sunday developed. This deep relationship, he says, included “sexual activities other than intercourse.”

 

Wade also states in the complaint that he believes the story Sunday tells of the alleged consent violation was wholly contrived to cover an embarrassing marital infidelity.

 

Because of the sensitive nature surrounding sexual assault cases, the Baltimore Post-Examiner would not normally use the names of either the alleged victim(s) or alleged perpetrator(s) in a story. But because they themselves thrust their names into the public record – the Post-Examiner has lifted that cloak.

 

The bones of the case, as presented in the plaintiff’s complaint, are as follows:

 

 

Wade and Sunday are both active in an alternative lifestyle known as the “Kink Community.” On the evening of July 20, 2016, Sunday had dinner with Wade and his polyamorous family at a restaurant in Baltimore. After dinner, at which two to three glasses of wine were consumed by each member of the party, Sunday said she did not want to drive. Wade and his family offered to have her stay at their Baltimore home. During the course of the evening, Sunday, Wade, and his wife engaged in “rope-play.” Sunday then spent the remainder of the night with Wade and his family – sharing a bed with Wade, his wife, and Wade’s (unnamed) polyamourous partner.

 

Two weeks later, on or about August 5, 2016, Wade was informed by a leader in the kink community that Sunday had accused him of assault on the night of July 20, 2016. About ten days later, Sunday proceeded to post comments about Wade on FetLife under the title heading “Consent Violation”. (FetLife is a social network for the BDSM, fetish & kink community.)

 

Sunday wrote on FetLife that she could not have consented because of her state of intoxication during the rope-play. Both Wade and his wife maintain that all of the play that night was consensual.

 

At no place in the defamation complaint is the exact nature of the alleged assault ever specified.

 

To clarify some of the facts surrounding this case, the Post-Examiner endeavored to reach out to Wade and Sunday, and the attorneys representing them.

 

Sunday is being defended by Matthew B. Kaplan of Arlington, Virginia. Wade is being represented by Marc A. Ominsky of Columbia, Maryland.

 

As of press time, the Post-Examiner was unable to reach Sunday. But her attorney spoke on her behalf.

 

Kaplan told the Baltimore Post-Examiner that he could not be specific at this time about the alleged violation or answer particular questions about discovery issues. Even so, Kaplan noted that Wade admits he has been accused of sexually assaulting Sunday. ...

Who wears the Wonderpants? Feminists, Amazons and the fate of the world

on Tuesday, 06 June 2017. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

DC’s latest “Wonder Woman” movie forms a constellation from Scythia to Trump

Salon

by EMILY JORDAN

Pop culture traces the mythic question of what makes a civilized beast. Teetering on this fulcrum of meat and mind is the goddess figure, who must hold her precarious position, bring home the bacon and look damn good while doing it. She is both a sacred box and a primal symbol: the virgin mother who never betrays you or the sexy mother who will tie you up and compel you to be good. In the case of Gal Gadot, the stunning Israeli actress who plays Wonder Woman in DC’s titular blockbuster, this might not be such a bad thing.

 

If there was one aspect that both the early hero comics and the pulp fiction writers and illustrators had in common, it was a shared understanding of the commodity of the primal image and how the relationship between female sexuality and human behavior could be exploited. The industrial revolution enabled mass production, which enabled mass printing, which enabled mass media. Essentially, a series of interchangeable tropes and the writers who produced them eventually led to the pulps and the studio system. The pulps — a funny mix of literary fiction and junk — rose up as another popular form of mass-produced entertainment. The trope of bound women in peril became a formula to help sell magazines, as did the practice of creating the cover before the story. Thus the selling of the story became more important than the telling of the story. And nothing sold more copies than a girl in underpants and chains.

 

While the pulps tapped into a fantasy that wasn’t bound by cultural restrictions — think of Margaret Brundage and her naughty BDSM covers for “Weird Tales” or Bob Howard’s “Conan the Barbarian” — comics provided a pantheon of immigrant stories for kids during a time of war: Superman, leaving the old world behind for the new. Batman, the brooding orphan. Or Wonder Woman, the fetishized, supermodel psychologist in a headband and bustier. These archetypes are as timeless and primal as that scene in “Alien” when the alien bursts out of Kane’s chest in counterpoint to the real-life nation obsessing about abortion and women’s lib. Ridley Scott would never recreate this moment.

 

William Moulton Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman, was the only person to come up with a female superhero who stood the test of time. One of the co-creators of the polygraph test, and a PhD in psychology, Marston lived in Rye, New York, with his wife Elizabeth Holloway Marston and mistress Olive Byrne. He fathered children with both, a fact that all three kept hidden. In addition to being his former graduate student, Byrne was also the niece of birth control activist Margaret Sanger. On top of polyamory, the thrupple practiced an idealized feminism wherein the woman was reimagined as a purer, more fully realized counterpart to her male brethren. Add a little light bondage to the mix, and you got yourself a Saturday night. (For more on this read Jill Lepore’s book “The Secret History of Wonder Woman.”)

 

If Superheroes have origin stories, it follows that origin stories must have their origin stories too. From this den of polyamory and kinda-sorta female power hatched our leggy heroine, an ageless figure who ports a lasso of truth — the polygraph — and her bracelets, objects that are more defensive than offensive. Additionally, she is a combo of pagan virgin wisdom goddess and pin-up girl. A product of sexless birth, she leaves the all-female perfection of Paradise Island, AKA Themyscira, for the hell-pit of despair that is life among men. Though every civilization requires violence, Wonder Woman seems most likely to want to talk it out rather than fight it out.   

 

 

 

 

The Amazons of legend, such as Wonder Woman’s mother Hippolyta, whose girdle Theseus famously stole, and Hippolyta’s sister Antiope, were warrior-enemies of the Greeks — the platonic form of civilization. An ironic aspect of the Amazon mythos is their reverse-rape narrative wherein their “perfect society” entails their stealing off to ravage men and then abandoning the male offspring in neighboring towns or castrating them. This is likely apocryphal, as is the one-breasted (a-mazos) moniker that was given to them by later Greek historians. IRL, the Amazons were Scythian warriors who practiced archery and rode horses.

 

Basically, Marston took elements of the Amazon legend and conflated those elements with a Sapphic love vibe and then dropped some good ol’ fashioned superheroism and psychology into the mix. As in Steve Trevor’s plane drops right out of a hole in the sky. In 1942, it may not have been certain how the war was going to go, but the enemy was clear. The only antidote to end German putrefaction: a gentle touch, light bondage and a swift kick in the rear from androgyne Barbie.

Join Center for Sex Positive Sexuality and NCSF in celebrating their Anniversaries!

on Tuesday, 06 June 2017. Posted in NCSF News

The Center for Sex Positive Sexuality is celebrating their 10th Anniversary along with NCSF's 20th Anniversary on July 15th! You don't have to attend to support both organizations.

40% of funds going to this party will be donated to NCSF. Remaining funds will go directly towards Center for Positive Sexuality's program funding (unless you choose otherwise).

This event will include dinner, open bar, and non-alcoholic beverages. Entertainment will be provided as well. Look forward to live performances by some of our very talented volunteers, an awards ceremony, raffle, and a roast of the Executive Director.

Evening casual dress preferred.

Los Angeles, CA: Event address will be provided upon purchase of tickets.

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