"3 Ways To Start Experimenting With BDSM"
So you wanna get kinky?
BY ANNA DAVIES
Whether we're just more willing to let our freak flag fly these days or Christian Grey has something to do with it, our survey of 6,700 men and women found that nearly twice as many women as men (19 percent versus 11 percent) said "light bondage/kink" is what they want more of in the bedroom.
The gender distinction is intriguing. "Women finally feel equal to men in many areas," says Daniel Lebowitz, codirector and male sexuality specialist at The Intimacy Institute in Boulder, Colorado. "They know they're not subordinate." That has freed us up to play with being submissive—now that it's clearly just play.
Not into such bedroom games yourself? No worries, no judgment. But if this starts you thinking, consider that you may already be incorporating a little BDSM into your routine without realizing it. For instance, bringing a person to the edge of orgasm and stopping briefly to prolong things is a form of "orgasm denial" in BDSM-speak.
To explore more, use this beginner's guide:
1. LISTEN IN
Downloading a podcast that deals with BDSM themes, like "Modern Love" or "Savage Love," can open the door to talking about your own turn-ons, says Kendra Holliday, blogger at Thebeautifulkind.com. Or watch a lite-kink (mainstream) film, like Secretary, to see the psychological elements involved.
2. PUT IT IN WRITING
There are apps that prompt you both to share your desires via fill-in-the-blank quizzes; Holliday recommends MoJo Upgrade or iPassion. "Sometimes, writing things down is a lot easier than saying them." ...