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"A look into the polyamorous community in the Fargo-Moorhead area"

on Monday, 16 May 2016. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

WDAY 6

By Amy Unrau

Fargo, ND (WDAY/WDAZ TV) - Love can be felt and described in a number of ways and to many, its often defined as a relationship between two people but an age old practice is seeing a new movement in the Red River Valley that challenges the social norm.

The polyamorous community is now reaching out, showing that they are here, should be accepted and that it's more common than you may think.

 

Game night with family and friends can bring a lot of laughter and love but for many in this room, love has broader boundaries than many traditionally think.

 

“None of this, I have to have a secret life in my head,”

 

“Yes, I have played wingman for my husband. It's a thing.”

 

Kurt Mesford and his wife, who's asked to be called Ashton and have her identity hidden, share a view on love that's not the norm.

 

“At the moment, I don't think we have,” said Kurt.

 

“We don't have anyone shared,” said Ashton.

 

“That would be convenient.”

 

“I know!”

 

“Then they could just show up at the house and hang out with whoever's there.”

 

“I don't share your taste in women.”

 

“I know.”

 

“We're attracted to very different types, I guess.”

 

They're polyamorous, which means many loves.

 

Each currently has five relationships, a dynamic they're open with in their church where Ashton teaches Sunday school, with their family and friends and with their young daughter Haven.

 

“She doesn't know anything more about our love life than she would if we were monogamous,” said Ashton.

 

With the unique family dynamic, Haven has had to explain it to friends.

 

“I just say one person loves more than one person that's not in the family,” said Haven.

 

But she loves her parents as well as all of their partners, including one of Ashton's boyfriends, Andrew Tyson.

 

“If you're married and you're falling in love with a second person, your options are to either cheat or grit your teeth an bare it. Polyamory offers another option,” said Tyson.

 

As a once monogamous married man, Andrew has made polyamorous activism his passion with the recent creation of a group called PolyAware.

 

He estimates about 1,000 people in Fargo-Moorhead are polyamorous and he wants others who are interested to know there is a place to learn more and feel accepted.

 

“Monogamy is so present and engrained in our culture that people never really question it. It's rare that you find someone who questions and wakes up one day and says 'huh, I wonder if I really should be monogamous', because they don't realize they have other choices,” said Tyson. ...

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