By Edward Thompson
People are more tied up than ever these days, and we’re not talking about the pace of life — oh no, Metro’s referring to bondage.
The sexually active and liberal are getting into knots over BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism and Masochism) and Shibari. Bruce Esinem, a London-based expert in shibari (Japanese rope bondage), explains why the public will be gagging to get involved in restraint.
Metro: Have books like “Fifty Shades of Grey” made people more sexually adventurous?
Esinem: I think it’s kicked off an interest. It’s been good for business because it brought the whole BDSM thing out of the shadows. Attitudes are changing a lot: it’s a bit like where the gay scene was a few decades back when people misunderstood the culture and created all sorts of incorrect stereotypes.
So, what are those false stereotypes about BDSM?
It used to be considered a freak show where the media would roll out the stupidest kink with the most unappealing people. I think when you mention certain things, people have an immediate reaction and the man in the street thinks whips and chains and gimp masks. They’ll think about the secretary tied to the office chair with shiny white nylon rope or the girl next door hog-tied in some tacky hotel room. When there is an incident that involves some sadistic criminal act, it then gets termed BDSM, which is somewhat ridiculous because BDSM is about consent. It’s like comparing rape to consensual sex.
What are the dangers with shibari?
There are certain stupid things that people can do. Tying people up and leaving them alone is like using a hairdryer in the shower. One of the dangers of leaving people tied up in a stress position is that it can cause positional asphyxia. That’s when your breathing muscles get tired and you can’t breathe anymore.
What’s the most extreme thing in shibari?
Some of the rope suspension is quite intense and not comfortable. People go through the pain barrier as they do with a lot of physical activities and then get the endorphin high from it. People aren’t doing it because they’re crazy – it’s because they enjoy the experience. It can be anything from soft, fluffy and sensual from the embrace and sensuality of the rope moving across the skin, to the rope stimulating the erogenous zones. It kicks off the endorphins like any other pain or stress. ...