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NCSF Newsletter: 4th Quarter 2017

NCSF Newsletter
4th Quarter, 2017
Edited by Julian Wolf

In this Issue

Happy Birthday NCSF
NCSF Annual Meeting
NSEC Exhibit
House of Trei
NCSF Research Internship
Fight in 2018
NCSF Thanks!
Celebrating 20 Years of Successful Advocacy with NCSF!
Media Updates
Join us on Fetlife
Coalition Partners

Dark Odyssey Surrender 2017 1

Dark Odyssey Surrender 2017 celebrated NCSF's 20th Anniversary in December with NCSF Board Members, Coalition Partners, Supporting Members, volunteers and event producer for Dark Odyssey, Greg Leshner at the NCSF birthday reception at Surrender!

Dark Odyssey Surrender 2017 cake

NCSF is Coming to Atlanta for our 21st Anniversary Celebration!

Annual Coalition Partner Meeting
Friday March 9th 10 am - 6pm
@ Crowne Plaza Atlanta Airport, 1325 Virginia Avenue, Atlanta, GA

The NCSF Annual Coalition Partner Meeting is for representatives of the Coalition Partners and the NCSF Board and Staff members to come together to discuss the year-end reports on NCSF projects and programs, and to set goals for the coming year. The NCSF Board members are elected at the annual meeting, and the budget and financials are approved.

The NCSF Annual CP Meeting is open to all members of NCSF and its member organizations. The Annual CP Meeting will also be available via video conferencing. Please RSVP to: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to receive the details.

NCSF will be participating in events throughout the weekend in Atlanta:

Rope Bite at 1763 - Celebrate NCSF's 21st Birthday!

"Rope Bite @Nite" is a rope-centric event held the second Saturday of each month at 1763 from 8-2pm. The evening starts out with a class and demo focused on rope education and then evolves into the Decadence play party. NCSF Board Members and staff will bring a birthday cake to celebrate our 21st anniversary with Rope Bite members!

LLC, the Leadership Conference - Workshops and an Award!

NCSF is proud to be receiving the "Leadership in Action" Award at LLC which is designed to recognize the people who have contributed their skills, time and effort into sharing with and being supportive of our community. NCSF Board Members and Staff will be attending and participating in the Leadership Conference with 3 workshops planned. For those who want to attend LLC, go here to register and get a discounted hotel room rate:

Poly Atlanta - Consent Counts with NCSF!

This is a chance for the polyamory community in Atlanta to get together and discuss our experiences in a roundtable discussion. It is also an opportunity for newcomers to learn all about polyamory. March's topic of discussion will be Consent Counts with a representative from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. There will also be a bonus opportunity to discuss how to find a kink/poly-aware mental health professional with our very own Nickie Fuentes (facilitator of the Lilburn support group and Atlanta Poly sponsor).

For those who are interested in running for the Board of NCSF or volunteering, please contact This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

NSEC exhibit with Dick and Judy

The NCSF exhibit table at the National Sex Ed Conference in Atlantic City, NJ, in December. Judy Guerin, Dick Cunningham and Susan Wright

Stay connected!

Join NCSF's email list to stay in the know. You can sign up to receive our This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view or go to our website and fill in the "Get the NCSF Newsletter" box with your email

Joint Statement on Sex Addiction

Approximately a year after the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) position statement on sex addiction was published, three more professional organizations have joined the discussion regarding this topic. This is interesting timing, given the recent high-profile cases in the media.
These organizations: Center for Positive Sexuality (CPS), National Coalition for Sexual Freedom(NCSF), and The Alternative Sexualities Health Research Alliance (TASHRA) recently published a group position statement opposing the addiction model in relation to frequent sexual behavior and pornography viewing. These organizations cite AASECT's statement as one of the reasons for their joint statement, as well as citing many scientific studies that reject the addiction model in relation to these sexual behaviors. The American Psychiatric Association does not recognize sex or porn addiction as a diagnosis, and these organizations have followed up with their own statements on the issue.
There are many factors that could lead someone to engage in various sexual practices and or pornography viewing, and current assessments for the concepts of sex and porn addiction lack scientific rigor and validity. Furthermore, important cultural factors are not considered within a sex/porn addiction model.
This position statement also reports that the addiction model assumes that using sex or pornography as a coping mechanism is necessarily problematic, and maybe this is due to an overly conservative or religious view of sexuality, rather than a recognition that this may actually be maladaptive. In fact, as pointed out, studies show that diverse sexuality may actually be considered a positive means of coping.

Naughty Noel cake and postcards

Naughty Noel in Gettysburg celebrated NCSF's 20th Anniversary in December! Heather Gardner, Michelle Buhrman, JP Miller and Endra

Naughty noel group

Guest Blog: Protecting Your Privacy
By Benjamin Schenker
When using dating apps, I've often seen a question to the effect of "Would other people be shocked by something you own?" Personally, I don't know, but I am sure that I have some things that I'd rather people not see that I own.  In general, my friends are not rooting through my cupboards and closets.  However, there are situations where they could be!
One thing that people, especially younger people, might not consider is the possibility of an accident. Something bad could happen and you could wind up in the emergency room. Do you remember your mother chiding "Make sure that you wear clean underwear in case you get into an accident"?  Whether it be a car crash or an accident on the job, accidents happen.
The question is what would happen if you were in an accident and were incapacitated for a substantial period of time? Someone would have to make arrangements for bills to be paid while you're out of commission, and while it's possible that friends could be understanding about you not being able to pay, professional landlords, utility companies, student loan lenders, and credit card companies are unlikely to be forgiving.
When a person becomes incapacitated, people close to her might be able to file for "guardianship" during the incapacity. This means that someone closely related to you would petition the court to allow her or him to be the guardian over your person and/or your property. (See Md. Estates and Trusts Section sections 13-102 et seq; D.C. Code 21-2001 et. seq.) That would mean that they would have the power to pay your bills and handle your affairs; it also means that they would have significant access into your personal affairs.
A similar situation happens when a person dies without a will. A family member would petition to be the personal representative of the estate, and then would have access to personal accounts and personal property. (Md. Rule 6-101 et seq.; D.C. SCR-PD Rule 403 et seq.).
However, by acting ahead, you can control who these people will be.  Who do YOU want looking through your cupboards and bank accounts (and browser history!)?  The equivalent of clean underwear in an accident is to prepare in advance a durable power of attorney and a will (which, by the way, is a good idea to do for a variety of other reasons!).  You cannot plan to avoid accidents, but you can plan to ensure that your very religious aunt is not the one sorting through those battery-operated devices in your nightstand!
Addendum: These documents are not just important for protecting privacy, but they can be helpful for a variety of reasons. One of them could be to help same-sex couples. Even married couples can be subject to people who don't want to recognize their marriage (Kim Davis is a famous example of this). Maybe "religious freedom" laws can protect people who discriminate because people are married, but having these documents can prevent the discrimination. A power of attorney can be granted to anyone, so even if someone wants to discriminate because you are in a same-sex marriage, they won't be able to do so if you have a power of attorney (or, at least it would be more difficult).
Disclaimer: Nothing in this post is intended as legal advice or to create an attorney-client relationship. If you have any legal concerns, please contact an attorney qualified to practice law in your state or district.
For more information, go to:

House of Trei newsletter photo
1st Capital Finance/The House of Trei tabling for NCSF at Wicked Wonderland at 1763 in Atlanta!
House of Trei 1

NCSF Research Internship
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom ( is seeking a research intern for approximately 5 hours per week for 26 weeks to compile a selected bibliography of books and academic journal articles on kink, swinging, consensual non-monogamy, BDSM, and related consensual sexual variations.  Applicants must have 5-10 hours per week to devote to the work, an institutional affiliation or private resources to cope with academic publishing paywalls, and graduate or very advanced undergraduate training in human sexuality.   Familiarity with and interest in the subject matter is extremely helpful, but lifestyle participation is not a requirement.

NCSF is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate in matters of age, race, gender, national origin, ethnicity, religion, sexual preference or sexual identity, lifestyle or ability status provided none of these interfere with job performance.  This is an unpaid position, and caries no monetary compensation or insurance.  Applicants do not need to be members of NCSF, but affiliation with the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS) or the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is desirable.  Cooperation with the internship or practicum requirements of select accredited sexuality research, education, or clinical training programs is negotiable.  Upon completion, excellent assistance would entitle the applicant to junior authorship on the resource list which will be posted on the NCSF website, distributed through the AASECT AltSex Special Interest Group, and other venues.

Supervision of this position will be provided Russell J Stambaugh, PhD, DST, CSTS, the NCSF Kink Aware Professionals Advocate.   For more on Dr. Stambaugh, see his blog, Elephant in the Hot Tub: Kink in Context --

This is an excellent opportunity for anyone who needs to conduct a literature review on these topics as part of their academic training.

Applicants should send their resume to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. by March 1, 2018.

Fight in 2018! An Interview With Our Volunteer Coordinator 
by Julian Wolf
Was one of your resolutions for 2018 making a difference? Current politics have you ready to stand up and fight for your freedom? Have extra time and a passion for serving your national community? We'd love to have you work with us! Our volunteer coordinator extraordinaire Keira joined me virtually to answer a few questions about how you can help the work of the NCSF actively this year.

Thanks for joining us! What sort of help does the NCSF need? Is it always sitting at tables?
Most of the volunteering is actually done via the internet. We are always looking for skilled volunteers for all sorts of projects. We tailor the project to the volunteer. The most common projects require creative skills like writing and graphic design, but we really do find something for everyone. Once we even asked someone to create coloring book pages for us!
Do you need experience in advocacy? What if you're new to swingers and/or kink community, should those folks wait to participate?
Again, the projects are tailored to the volunteer. You don't need any experience in advocacy, activism, or community. Just willingness and drive to volunteer.
How would one of our constituents go about offering to volunteer with the NCSF?
Our website has a volunteer questionnaire that you need to fill out in order to become a volunteer. The URL is
What keeps you volunteering?
I really enjoy the people I work with and I'm proud of the work I do.  Additionally, working with NCSF has really improved my self worth and helped me make many positive changes in my personal life
Anything else you'd like to share with us?
Volunteering for NCSF is done in as low stress a way as possible. So please don't be scared. It's really painless
Thank you so much for your work!

Keira has been actively volunteering with the NCSF since 2011 and joined the board in 2014. She was recently featured as a Poly Role Model. See her interview here or via our website at

You can reach Keira at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

NCSF Thanks! 4th Quarter 2017
NCSF thanks Fetish Friday Indy for donating $2,500 raised at its a one-night celebration of art and alternative sexuality featuring DJs, live performances, and play spaces/furniture. All net proceeds from the event are donated to the NCSF.
NCSF thanks Dark Odyssey Surrender 2017 which raised a total of $2,238 for NCSF along with signing up 4 new Supporting Members and 1 Individual Member. An additional $4,476 was raised for our allies at the event.
Thank you to Jaiya with Find Your Path to Passion for donating $500 along with an additional donation of $545 to match the funds raised by the attendees at the Betty Dodson BodySex™ Retreat 2017 held in upstate New York in July.  
NCSF also thanks Jaiya, Inc. for donating $725 in October and $585 in December as part of their Coalition Partner fundraiser that is a percentage of their business for the month.
NCSF thanks Kink Fest: A Leather Fetish Expo for donating $1,300 in October!
Thank you to our Coalition Partner, The TES Association in New York City, for donating $960 to NCSF: $310 was raised in June/July by their members, and $650 to pay for the rental of the LGBT Center for our Consent Summit that was held on September 16th, 2017.
NCSF thanks FetLife, the Social Network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky Community, for donating $300 to the NCSF Foundation again this quarter!
Thank you to NLA-International for donating $150 to NCSF in December!
NCSF thanks Pittsburgh Bridge and the attendees of their Halloween party for donating $75 that was raised through a $25 "General Admission + $10 NCSF donation" option for entry. 

Incident Reporting & Response - 4th Quarter 2017
By Susan Wright
Director of IRR

NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 46 reports & requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in July, August and September. The 1st quarter of 2017 we had 38 requests and the 2nd quarter we had 46 requests and the 3rd quarter we had 41 requests.
NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However, we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest.
Here is a breakdown of the cases we dealt with in the 4th Quarter of 2017:
There were 19 requests for resources and information involving criminal law - similar to the 21 requests we received in the 3rd quarter.  14 of those requests came from people who reported an assault, sexual assault, harassment or vandalizing involving BDSM or non-monogamy. 4 people requested resources and referrals to attorneys or mediators to assist in defending themselves against a restraining order or accusations of assault, sexual assault or harassment.  1 person needed assistance with sex worker-related issues.
Child Custody
There were 5 requests for resources and information regarding child custody, half the number  reported in the 3rd quarter of 2017, but the same as reported in the 2nd quarter. 3 involved BDSM (1 with FetLife photos) and 2 involved non-monogamy.
14 groups asked for assistance, compared to 4 groups in the 3rd quarter and 11 groups in the 2ndquarter of 2017. 9 groups needed help dealing with consent incidents. 3 groups were harassed, exposed or defamed. 2 groups needed help with opening a business and obscenity laws.
5 requests, compared to 4 requests in the 3rd quarter: 3 people were threatened with/or outed. 1 person was defamed. 1 is filing to get back moneys owed.
3 professionals requested education on BDSM, consent and translation of educational resources.

Celebrating 20 Years of Successful Advocacy with NCSF!

20yearOver the next year, NCSF will be celebrating our 20th Anniversary around the country.

Join us! Please ask your group or event to hold a Birthday Party for NCSF to help support our programs and projects that are challenging discrimination against consenting adults.

These are a just a few of NCSF's accomplishments to celebrate:

Provided Incident Response assistance to thousands of people regarding child custody, job discrimination, criminal prosecutions, consent violations, venue licensing and enforcement issues

Gave over 1,000 media interviews to change media representations of BDSM and other non-traditional sex practices, and trained over 100 people and groups on how to talk to the media
Developed educational programs and resources for law enforcement, attorneys, therapists, medical personnel, anti-domestic violence advocates, universities, authors and our communities

Worked with the American Psychiatric Association to help change the DSM-5 criteria so that consensual BDSM is no longer categorized as a mental illness

Developed the Consent Counts Campaign to decriminalize consensual BDSM and is working with the American Law Institute on the Model Penal Code on Sexual Assault.

Filed Amicus Briefs in important legal cases so that consent is a defense

Maintained a Kink Aware Professional's resource database

Please help support NCSF! Contact This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for help in producing and promoting your event.


Media Updates and Web Features

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

Here's a sample of some of our recent featured stories:

Inside the Koreatown Dojo Dedicated to the Art of Japanese Rope Bondage from LA Weekly
Bisexual and Polyamorous: How My Pendulum Swings from Advocate
'The Ethical Slut': Inside America's Growing Acceptance of Polyamory from Rolling Stone

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

You can sign up to receive our emails This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or check our blog at our website here.

Representing on FetLife

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Interested in a specific story or in writing an article?
email Julian: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.