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Displaying items by tag: Newsletter
NCSF Newsletter
3rdQuarter, 2015
edited by Julian Wolf
 
 

In this issue

NCSF Membership Drive a Success

Incident Reporting & Response

Winner of Consent Month Photo Contest

Guest Blog - "What if You Get Squicked?"

NCSF Thanks!

Daily Flogger Satire

Castle Treue's "Cigar, Bourbon, & Leather Evening Fundraiser"

Coalition Partners

Consent is a Defense

Media Updates

Representing on FetLife


NCSF Membership Drive a Success!
By BebeinStL

As the plans for the coming year were laid out at the NCSF Coalition Partner's meeting this spring, everyone attending was asked what ideas they may have for boosting membership. On the spot, StL3, our coalition partner out of St Louis, MO, challenged two other coalition partners to a NCSF membership drive from their respective communities!

For their drive, StL3 held a contest with a grand prize of free accommodations in their host hotel for StL3's fall event, Spanksgiving! Spanksgiving is always the weekend before Thanksgiving, Nov 20th - 22nd. Rooms at the host hotel for StL3's events have sold out in less than 24 hours from when registration has opened, making this a coveted prize! Joining NCSF as an individual membership netted 1 chance to the drawing. Enrollment as a Supporting Member netted 4 chances in the drawing + a NCSF T-shirt + free breakfast buffet at the event!

And the winner was.... NCSF! Netting nearly 30 new memberships! Winner of the drawing was Veni_Vici on FetLife, giving her a free weekend stay for Spanksgiving! Congratulations! And thank you to all who participated and signed up for NCSF memberships during StL3's Membership Drive

 


 Incident Reporting & Response - 3rd Quarter 2015 report

By Susan Wright
Director of IRR

NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 56 requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in July, August and September. NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest. Here is a breakdown of the cases we dealt with in the third quarter of 2015:

Criminal
There were 22 requests for resources and information involving kink and criminal law. In a sharp decline, only 3 of those requests came from people complaining about a kink-related assault/sexual assault who needed assistance in connecting with kink-aware victim services, and resources to educate law enforcement, investigators and prosecutors. We got 2 requests for information from witnesses who have been subpoenaed in a criminal trial. Another 3 were requests for referrals for kink aware expert witnesses in a criminal trial. 4 were requests for resources dealing with other kinds of crimes, and 1 involved sexual harassment because the person is kinky. 2 involved incarceration/parole violations. The remaining requests for information regarding criminal laws and kink/nonmonogamy did not involve charges being filed.

Child Custody/Divorce
There were 12 child custody cases in the last three months. One case involved a Child Protective Services investigation that involved polyamory - in all there were 5 requests for information from poly parents facing child custody challenges. There were 3 requests for information and referrals to kink aware attorneys involving BDSM and child custody, and another 3 involving divorce and kink - 2 of these involved outing due to FetLife photos.

Groups
There were 10 requests for help involving BDSM and swing groups. 5 groups asked for advice on dealing with consent violations. 4 groups asked for assistance in setting up a club or dealing with zoning and local authorities/media. 1 group had questions about liability regarding house parties.

Media
In an all-time low for NCSF, there was only 1 media incident this quarter. It involved a porn and sex ed convention in Dallas that was referred to us by Coalition Partner - they were getting attacked in the media for offering educational classes including some on the Lifestyle and BDSM.

Professionals
Six professionals asked NCSF for information and resources to assist in them in providing their services. These included victim services, therapists, teachers and researchers.

Civil Law
There were 3 cases involving civil law: 1 by a group of authors regarding Amazon discriminating against kinky covers on their books; and 1 who needed a referral to a kink aware attorney because of an outing on FetLife; and 1 pro domme who needed assistance.

Discrimination
In another all time low, there were only 2 cases of discrimination. There was an employment issue because of educating about ssc BDSM at adult health center, and another person needed a referral to a kink aware attorney to deal with school disciplinary action.

If you need NCSF's help because of discrimination or to remove kink as a barrier to service, please contact our Incident Reporting & Response today! Email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Please join now or donate to support NCSF's direct services!

 


 Winner of the Photo Contest for Consent Month!

Thank you everyone for helping to celebrate Consent Month with NCSF and Arizona Power Exchange in September!

The winner of our Photo Contest for Consent Month is jonsnowsdirewolf who submitted his photo "Consent" to the contest.

Check it out! It's HOT!

We look forward to celebrating Consent Month with you in September 2016!

cmonth BW


Guest Blog - "What if You Get Squicked?"
The Elephant in the Hot Tub
By Russell Stambaugh

For Kink Aware Professionals. Like everything on this blog, context matters. So if you find yourself acutely uncomfortable with a client's material, what you do depends on when, where, and how it comes up. Some of these suggestions will not be helpful in all contexts. Some even contradict each other. Apologies to Mies van der Rohe, who didn't first say 'The devil and God are both in the details.'

Safety first, yours and theirs. Insofar as you can, do not back away from the material, and do not ask for details that you are not ready to hear and/or the client seems unready to discuss. You need the client to be able to observe their own responses, and for you to be listening to how it feels for them. Consent is critical in BDSM as it is in therapy. It is legitimate and often necessary to question the client about their consent when you reaction comes from ambiguity about whether they have agreed to whatever is disturbing you.

Ask yourself why you or the client are so offended. If the behavior violates your core values, or you are unwilling to do the work in understanding it in the client's terms, maybe you need to refer the client out to someone who can. If the discomfort is primarily the client's, then it may be resolved through therapeutic discussion. While the typical condition of human existence may involve some ambivalence, acute and intolerable ambivalence is a proper subject of treatment. Raw, unprocessed and out of control feelings do not advance the therapeutic process, and are signs that it may be premature to discuss disturbing material.

Give yourself permission to have your own feelings and do not rush to judge them a sign of inadequacy as a therapist. In order to use your own feelings in therapy, you must first have them and recognize them. Resolving countertransference is often a powerful resource in therapeutic change. It is often uncomfortable. Freud thought resolving transference was what therapy is all about, and countertransference was often how transference was first recognized. Even if you think your response is excessive, recognizing your feelings is the first step that can eventually lead to acting on them in ways that serve your client. If you have a strong therapeutic alliance with your client, any mistake you make is likely to be a point of learning for both of you, rather than ruin the treatment, if you deal with it honestly and directly.

Ask yourself if understanding and discussing the squicked material is essential to the treatment goals. Often a client's kink is not central to the goals of therapy. If your client complains they are deeply troubled by their desire, obviously the details of their fantasies and actions are essential to understand. If they went to an event one time and had a bad reaction, you could be doing yourself and the client a favor to let the client vent as they need to, and return as soon as you can to the primary contract for treatment. And if you do not understand the relevance on any material, squicked or not, ask your client what connections they see. If neither of you see the relevance, let it go. One sure characteristic of treatment is that if you gloss over important issues, they will come up again, so if it is important, you are likely to get another good chance to discuss it.

Get more information. This holds the promise of helping you clarify why you are uncomfortable, and possible increasing your understanding in ways that make your reaction more manageable. The question is often where to get good information. Be careful of using sources like porn and fantasy sites, where there is a strong stylistic tendency to exaggerate for effect. On-line sources - yes, I realize Elephant in the Hot Tub is one of those - vary in their objectivity and reliability. Different Loving 2ed by Brame, Brame and Jacobs is a reliable resource for starters. Look also at reliable sources on edge play. It is wise when doing this work to have colleagues whose opinions you trust. Sometimes professional listservs and forums can be helpful. Triangulate information from multiple sources, and don't simply cherry pick the information that suits your preconceptions. Do not take a poll on social media, or inadvertently out your client with specific information, even without names attached. Often edgy practices are rare or singular events, and public discussion creates the impression that people are being outed and confidentiality violated.

If you have such contacts, ask others in the kink community about how similar material is treated there. In this, you are not looking for advice, but trying to understand the context, contracting, consent, and community reactions to it. Kink communities differ, have their own micro-cultures and house rules, and are not unfailingly accepting or nonjudgmental. But understanding uncomfortable behavior in the likely context of the kink community can help you frame your own reaction, and perhaps, the client's.

Know your strengths and limits. That knowledge is crucial in deciding which of the strategies listed here are most applicable to any specific case. In the Goode Olde Days, therapists had 5 years of psychoanalysis to deepen their self-understanding. That was good, but by no means a perfect assurance of self-knowledge. Nowadays you can practically get licensed by reading a few good books. Self-knowledge is fragile, but is also the best defense.

Get quality supervision from someone who knows about the scary practices that are vexing you. That does not necessarily mean falling back on an old supervisor who is a fantastic clinician, helped in your training, but knows nothing about kink. It is generally unwise to try to clinic such cases on listservs where just anyone can chime in, both for reasons of confidentiality, and for reasons that people unfamiliar with such material are at risk of being made uncomfortable too, and may simply and unintentionally reflect widespread social prejudices. That may mean cultivating professional relationships ahead of time with people who have a wide familiarity with outliers among the populations you treat.

If you think your own reaction violates your core values, or reflects incomplete work on your part, by all means return to psychotherapy. Being made uncomfortable by someone's material is ultimately a problem you can walk away from. Be made uncomfortable with your own material is not.

Discuss your discomfort with an experienced and open client. This is their work too, and to the extent that they can cooperate in understanding together what your discomfort means, the client is an important resource. Ultimately, you are responsible for your feelings, but when they are a reflection of the client's conflicts, showing the client you are comfortable with discussing your own discomfort can be good role modeling, and help them achieve important insight. When you lack a trusting relationship and good working alliance, discussing your own discomfort can be disruptive and drive away a client. It is wise to out-refer to someone better able to help. If a client is gaming you in a way that feels manipulative, make sure that you take steps to ensure your own safety. BDSM edge play, that is play that is known to be more dangerous and transgressive in the kink community, is mostly unsafe to discuss with severely personality disordered clients and clients with weak observing egos.

Therapy is a great way to fight social problems and social injustice in the world. But it operates under ethical guidelines that put the client first. Perhaps you can bring your own reaction into balance better by confronting some of the root problems that make you uncomfortable through teaching, advocacy, or direct social action and philanthropy better than through your psychotherapy with any one client. This is a special subset of my final suggestion:

Make sure that you are adequately supported in the clinical work you are doing. This may include your primary and secondary relationships, your institutional setting, your fees, office, training and other aspects of the context of doing treatment. It may include proper organizational affiliations, and friends who do similar work. And it includes collecting referrals and biblioresources that support the psychotherapy you are doing. All of these factors make it easier to understand intense and/or unexpected client materials if they suddenly arise and help you use them to better serve your clients.

That is a starter list, but it is far from exhaustive. Perhaps you can think of good coping strategies or additional resources I have left out. By all means, include them in the comments section.

Resources:

Finkelhor, D., Araji, S., Baron, L., Browne, A. Peters, S. D. & Wyatt, G. E. A Sourcebook on Child Sexual Abuse. Thousand Oaks, CA, US: Sage Publications, Inc (1986). 276 p.

Richters, J., De Visser, R. O., Rissel, C. E., Grulich, A. E., & Smith, A. (2008). Demographic and psychosocial features of participants in bondage and discipline, "Sadomasochism" or Dominance and Submission (BDSM): Data from a National Survey. The journal of sexual medicine, 5(7), 1660-1668.

Andreas A.J. Wismeijer PhD, Marcel A.L.M. van Assen PhD: Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 10, Issue 8, pages 1943-1952, August 2013.

Patricia A. Cross PhD and Kim Matheson PhD in the book "Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures" (2006), published simultaneously as the Journal of Homosexuality, Vol. 50, Nos. 2/3.)

"Psychotherapeutic Issues with "Kinky" Clients: Yours and Their's" by Margie Nichols, PhD in Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures ed. P Klienplatz and C. Moser (2006) published simultaneously as the Journal of Homosexuality, Vol. 50, Nos. 2/3.)

2015 Russell J Stambaugh, Ann Arbor, Michigan. All rights reserved.


NCSF Thanks!

New England Leather Alliance, a Coalition Partner of NCSF, donated $1,000 from their Fetish Fair Fleamarket #44, held in February 2015.

Coalition Partner, De Giotto Rope donated $150 from proceeds they raised at TES Fest in July in Piscataway, New Jersey.

Coalition Partner, TES in NYC donated $300 from the funds they raised with the Dunk Tank Contest at TES Fest over the 4th of July weekend in Piscataway, NJ.

Dr. Elisabeth Sheff of the Sheff Consulting Group in Georgia donated $100 to the NCSF membership group.

Coalition Partner, Castle Treue raised over $1,000 at their "Cigar, Bourbon, & Leather Evening Fundraiser" in August in the Greater Cleveland area. (See Barak's story about the event in this newsletter!)

Coalition Partner, Les Bon Temps in Mobile, Alabama donated $303.50 raised at their Spring Fling.

Coalition Partner,The BDSM Writers Con raised $623 at their conference in August in New York City.

Behind Closed Doors, an event sponsored by Coalition Partner, Arizona Baja Leather, raised $395 by passing the hat at their event in early October.

Coalition Partner, AIS, raised $600 at their recent COPE conference in Ohio (See Barak's story about the event in this newsletter!)

Long time supporter and NCSF member, Marc DePaul, donated $1,500 to NCSF!

We can't do it without your support. Thank you for joining NCSF!

Numbers count when we advocate for you, and the bigger we are, the harder our voice is to ignore. There is no other group that fights for kink and nonmonogamy like NCSF does. We help people in need, groups under siege, and businesses opposed by sex-negative bureaucracy.

We can't do it without your support. Thank you for joining NCSF!


Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger

Donald Trump Declared "Politician We'd Most Like To Beat"
The Daily Flogger
WASHINGTON, UTAH

In a recent poll of BDSM practitioners likely to vote in this year's Republican primary, Donald Trump was found to be the politician that most BDSMers would either like to beat or see beaten (depending on their own proclivities).

The results had Trump as a runaway favorite outpacing all other Republicans by a 10 to 1 margin, with Rick Perry and Rick Santorum each garnering 5% of the vote respectively. Trump received an impressive 90% of the vote and many felt compelled to write in their own suggestions for various tortures, with "sewing his mouth shut with a hungry rat inside" being the most common.

Trump's camp did not return our calls, but it is reported that Trump himself referred to the BDSM community as "losers" and "total degenerate, mostly coming from Mexico."

Read more at the Daily Flogger website.


Castle Treue's "Cigar, Bourbon, & Leather Evening Fundraiser"
By Barak
NCSF Coalition Partner Rep for AIS

What a wonderful evening! While the gathering wasn't huge, it was just the right size. Small enough to be intimate and personal, but large enough to generate over $1000 for the NCSF! Approximately 30 people came out to the Castle Treue's Fundraiser. It was called "Cigar, Bourbon, & Leather Evening Fundraiser." And true to the title, there was much of all three.

We made a weekend of it, packing up our motorcycles with several days of essentials, clothing, and gear. Starting fairly early, we spent the 2 days prior to the event, riding across and through the scenic secondary highways in Ohio, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania. But... that is fodder for another story.

On the third day, we pulled up to Castle Treue, and were greeted warmly by our hosts, Master Eric and slave tender. As we were escorted into the bustling residence, we were quickly offered refreshment - even though we were quite early. The home was alive with activity. Apparently all the members of the Leather House were in attendance to serve and host. And Host they did!

As the remainder of the attendees/guests arrived, each was made to feel welcome and comfortable. A quick announcement signaled the "start." The evening's events were summarized, and then the tastings began! With an admission donation, each person received three bourbon tickets and one cigar ticket. Each Bourbon ticket was good for a half ounce taste of a featured Bourbon. Full pourings of the favorite (or any) could be had for another donation.

Next to the Bourbon, a large tray of cigars was displayed. For your cigar ticket, or another donation, you were invited to pick from the varied selection. One of the house members was there with cutters, and your cigar was prepared as you liked. A good smoke was most appreciated after a long day in the saddle - as was a small taste of the high quality spirits.
Intermittently, Master Eric would pause the proceedings to auction off one of the numerous donations that the House had compiled. There was a wonderful Photography package, a travel basket, a handmade cigar and liquor roll, and many other wonderful auction items. With the entire proceeds being donated to the NCSF, it looked to be a generous evening.
Background music was floating through the air, as we made friends, shared stories, and smoked good cigars. All too soon, it was 11pm. The announcement was made - but while the official event had come to a close, that didn't mean we would have to leave! We were all invited to stay as long as we wanted, but at 2am or so, the hosts would be going to bed...lol. Once again the hospitality of Castle Treue shined through the night.

It was a pleasure to be invited to such a well-organized and intimate event. Personally, I want to thank Master Eric and slave tender and all the members of Castle Treue for such a wonderful evening. And as an NCSF Board member, I want to thank Castle Treue, and all the attendees, for your generosity and the donation of all the proceeds to the NCSF. Furthermore, I would like to welcome Castle Treue as a new NCSF Coalition Partner!

 


 

 Coalition Corner: Spotlight on Adventures in Sexuality (AIS)

Good Morning!

Things have finally settled down and are back at the busy AdventuresInSexuality.Org (AIS) pace. This gives us a moment to reflect on some fund raising for the NCSF. It was wonderful to have an NCSF presence at AIS Events, and The Central Ohio Perversion Excursion (COPE) was no exception. BebeBlueEyes kept the interest up at the NCSF table... and people were very curious about what the NCSF is doing now!

During the closing announcements, there was a special drawing for the NCSF. The split was $279 for the winner and the same for the NCSF. AIS stepped in a matched the NCSF part, then rounded it up - to raise a total of $600 for the NCSF! We are pleased to be a fund-raising force for an organization that takes our sexual freedom seriously.

AIS is tremendously pleased to be a Coalition Partner for the NCSF. We have directly benefited from their defense. While we hope not to need them in the future, we will continue to raise funds for the NCSF for those who will! We believe the assistance provided by the NCSF is invaluable for the kink/leather/alt sex communities. We are proud to support them!

Peace
Barak & Sheba
Adventures In Sexuality, LLC.

See our list of Coalition Partners at the NCSF website!

Are you a CP Representative? Make sure we have your updated information by email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .


Consent is a Defense
by Judy Guerin, Director of Consent Counts

NCSF is delighted to announce an important new initiative as part of our Consent Counts project. In a nutshell, we have a great opportunity to take advantage of an effort by the American Law Institute (ALI) to change the portions of the Model Penal Code-which most states adopt as their criminal law-in a way that would greatly advance our campaign to decriminalize consensual BDSM.

Here's what is going on. The American Law Institute is an independent body made up of influential lawyers from across the United States. The ALI analyzes legal issues and proposes model legislation (known as "codes" or "restatements") and recommends that states adopt that model legislation as their own law. This requires that each state legislature pass a bill that changes the state law, but most states have in the past adopted ALI model codes without significant changes.

Currently the ALI is studying-and will ultimately recommend-changes in the Model Penal Code provisions relating to sexual assault. As you probably know, cases in which BDSM is prosecuted are now considered as criminal assault, rather than sexual assault. NCSF has always believed this to be unjust. In our view, BDSM is not an attack by one person against another (which is the premise of a criminal assault law). Rather, BDSM is intended to be a mutually pleasurable interaction between two people, in which any pain or stimulation that is consented to is welcomed by that person and is experienced as a form of pleasure.

What the ALI originally set out to do in its current project had nothing to do with BDSM. Instead, their concern rose from the recent public discussion about sexual assault on college campuses and is intended to strengthen the requirement that all forms of sexual contact (from fornication to casual touching) have to be clearly consensual.

In February, NCSF submitted comments to the ALI Committee that is working on sexual assault and related issues. We argued that the same emphasis on strengthening consent should be applied equally in the context of BDSM. We pointed out that the MPC's criminal assault provision allows consent as a defense unless serious injury is caused, but that in case law the courts and prosecutors moralistically have refused to apply that rule because they viewed BDSM simply as violence, not as sex or mutually pleasurable activity.

We urged the ALI Committee to treat BDSM under a category they define as "sexual contact" even if there is no contact with the breasts or genitals. Under the ALI's draft proposal, "sexual contact" is not a crime if consent is given for such contact. If consent is not given, sexual contact is a misdemeanor, not a felony. Such treatment of BDSM-as not a crime if consensual and as a misdemeanor if nonconsensual-would be fully consistent with the concept that BDSM is intended to be a mutually pleasurable activity rather than an act of violence. If a rape is committed in a BDSM encounter then it can be prosecuted as felony sexual assault and the fact that BDSM activities were also included will reduce the confusion for prosecutors and courts. Judgment can be made solely in the context of whether there was consent for each act that was committed.

A further benefit of our proposal would be that a person who is injured in a nonconsensual BDSM incident would have the shelter of "rape shield" rules, which prohibit introduction of evidence of prior acts and provides the victim anonymity. This protection applies to complaints in sexual assault cases, but not in criminal assault cases. People who are assaulted in a BDSM context typically choose not to report what happened to the police because they will be outed as kinky by the public court documents and they may even face media exposure if their assailant is charged with criminal assault rather than sexual assault.

The reaction from the ALI has been encouraging. We were told that our views will be considered, and NCSF was invited to make further written submissions on the sexual assault and related areas, as well as two other ALI projects that may help advance our goals to decriminalize consensual BDSM, and to assist people who have suffered nonconsensual acts in a BDSM context.

It is far too early to conclude whether this could be a real solution to the problem of BDSM being prosecuted as assault. But if the ALI were to include our proposal-that BDSM should not be regarded as violence, and should be dealt with as "sexual contact" instead of "criminal assault"-it would clearly be a major step in the right direction.

But first we need to persuade the ALI to agree with our proposal, or at least something like our proposal.

We need your help! Please sign the petition: https://www.change.org/p/american-law-institute-consent-should-be-a-defense-for-bdsm-activities?just_created=true We plan to submit our petition to the ALI in September. We hope to collect thousands of signatures urging the ALI to reclassify BDSM prosecutions as "sexual contact" instead of criminal assault. It's all about consent, and the law should reflect that.

Petition to the American Law Institute:

Consent should be a Defense for BDSM activities

I urge the American Law Institute in its consideration of proposals to revise the Model Penal Code (MPC) provisions relating to sexual assault, to provide in the MPC that prosecutions arising from BDSM (bondage, discipline, Dominance & Submission and sadomasochism) conduct be pursued as "sexual contact" rather than as criminal assault. I believe this is appropriate because consensual BDSM is intended to be a mutually pleasurable erotic activity and not a violent assault by one person against another. Criminal prosecution may be appropriate if consent is not given, but consent should be allowed as a defense.

Sign here! https://www.change.org/p/american-law-institute-consent-should-be-a-defense-for-bdsm-activities?just_created=true

Background info on this project https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts.html


Media Updates and Web Features

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

85 Year Old French Dominatrix from Bedford & Bowery
Why Some Powerful Men Like Getting Tied Up from NY Mag
My Journey To Polyamory from PopSugar

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here.

 

Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Return to top


See our list of Coalition Partners at the NCSF website
 
Are you a CP Representative? Make sure we have your updated information by email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
 

Interested in a specific story or in writing an article?
email Julian:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
2ndt Quarter, 2015
edited by Julian Wolf
 
NCSF marriage

In this issue

Consent is a Defense

Celebrate Consent Month in September!

"A Taste of Kink" at the AASECT Annual Conference

NCSF Thanks!

Daily Flogger Satire

The 2015 BDSM Writers Con

NCSF celebrates Pride Month

Incident Reporting & Response

NCSF at IMsL

Media Updates

Representing on FetLife

 


 Consent is a Defense

by Judy Guerin, Director of Consent Counts


NCSF is delighted to announce an important new initiative as part of our Consent Counts project. In a nutshell, we have a great opportunity to take advantage of an effort by the American Law Institute (ALI) to change the portions of the Model Penal Code-which most states adopt as their criminal law-in a way that would greatly advance our campaign to decriminalize consensual BDSM.


Here's what is going on. The American Law Institute is an independent body made up of influential lawyers from across the United States. The ALI analyzes legal issues and proposes model legislation (known as "codes" or "restatements") and recommends that states adopt that model legislation as their own law. This requires that each state legislature pass a bill that changes the state law, but most states have in the past adopted ALI model codes without significant changes.


Currently the ALI is studying-and will ultimately recommend-changes in the Model Penal Code provisions relating to sexual assault. As you probably know, cases in which BDSM is prosecuted are now considered as criminal assault, rather than sexual assault. NCSF has always believed this to be unjust. In our view, BDSM is not an attack by one person against another (which is the premise of a criminal assault law). Rather, BDSM is intended to be a mutually pleasurable interaction between two people, in which any pain or stimulation that is consented to is welcomed by that person and is experienced as a form of pleasure.


What the ALI originally set out to do in its current project had nothing to do with BDSM. Instead, their concern rose from the recent public discussion about sexual assault on college campuses and is intended to strengthen the requirement that all forms of sexual contact (from fornication to casual touching) have to be clearly consensual.

In February, NCSF submitted comments to the ALI Committee that is working on sexual assault and related issues. We argued that the same emphasis on strengthening consent should be applied equally in the context of BDSM. We pointed out that the MPC's criminal assault provision allows consent as a defense unless serious injury is caused, but that in case law the courts and prosecutors moralistically have refused to apply that rule because they viewed BDSM simply as violence, not as sex or mutually pleasurable activity.

We urged the ALI Committee to treat BDSM under a category they define as "sexual contact" even if there is no contact with the breasts or genitals.  Under the ALI's draft proposal, "sexual contact" is not a crime if consent is given for such contact. If consent is not given, sexual contact is a misdemeanor, not a felony. Such treatment of BDSM-as not a crime if consensual and as a misdemeanor if nonconsensual-would be fully consistent with the concept that BDSM is intended to be a mutually pleasurable activity rather than an act of violence. If a rape is committed in a BDSM encounter then it can be prosecuted as felony sexual assault and the fact that BDSM activities were also included will reduce the confusion for prosecutors and courts. Judgment can be made solely in the context of whether there was consent for each act that was committed.


A further benefit of our proposal would be that a person who is injured in a nonconsensual BDSM incident would have the shelter of "rape shield" rules, which prohibit introduction of evidence of prior acts and provides the victim anonymity. This protection applies to complaints in sexual assault cases, but not in criminal assault cases. People who are assaulted in a BDSM context typically choose not to report what happened to the police because they will be outed as kinky by the public court documents and they may even face media exposure if their assailant is charged with criminal assault rather than sexual assault.


The reaction from the ALI has been encouraging. We were told that our views will be considered, and NCSF was invited to make further written submissions on the sexual assault and related areas, as well as two other ALI projects that may help advance our goals to decriminalize consensual BDSM, and to assist people who have suffered nonconsensual acts in a BDSM context.


It is far too early to conclude whether this could be a real solution to the problem of BDSM being prosecuted as assault. But if the ALI were to include our proposal-that BDSM should not be regarded as violence, and should be dealt with as "sexual contact" instead of "criminal assault"-it would clearly be a major step in the right direction.


But first we need to persuade the ALI to agree with our proposal, or at least something like our proposal.


We need your help! Please sign the petition: https://www.change.org/p/american-law-institute-consent-should-be-a-defense-for-bdsm-activities?just_created=true We plan to submit our petition to the ALI in September. We hope to collect thousands of signatures urging the ALI to reclassify BDSM prosecutions as "sexual contact" instead of criminal assault. It's all about consent, and the law should reflect that.


Petition to the American Law Institute:

 

Consent should be a Defense for BDSM activities


I urge the American Law Institute in its consideration of proposals to revise the Model Penal Code (MPC) provisions relating to sexual assault, to provide in the MPC that prosecutions arising from BDSM (bondage, discipline, Dominance & Submission and sadomasochism) conduct be pursued as "sexual contact" rather than as criminal assault. I believe this is appropriate because consensual BDSM is intended to be a mutually pleasurable erotic activity and not a violent assault by one person against another. Criminal prosecution may be appropriate if consent is not given, but consent should be allowed as a defense.

 

Sign here! https://www.change.org/p/american-law-institute-consent-should-be-a-defense-for-bdsm-activities?just_created=true


Background info on this project https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts.html 

 

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Celebrate Consent Month in September!

 

National Consent Month embraces the freedom of expression that comes with informed consent.

Join us by holding your own event or workshop during the month of September that highlights the importance of consent. Let us know the date and we'll put it on our calendar and publicize it on our social media.

Go to ConsentMonth.com to see ideas on how your group can celebrate Consent Month. Get free swag to give away at your event like "Got Consent?" ribbons and buttons.


Get your "Got Consent?" T-shirts, mugs and dog tags in the NCSF shop!


Submit photos of your Consent Month celebration to our Consent Photo Contest. We'll post the photos and award the winner top billing on our Consent Month website for the rest of the year. You'll also be featured in an NCSF media campaign about Consent Month.

 

Consent Month is proudly sponsored by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the Arizona Power Exchange.

 

Thank you for celebrating September as Consent Month!

 

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 "A Taste of Kink" at the AASECT Annual Conference

 

A Taste of Kink was sponsored by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the AASECT AltSex SIG as part of the AASECT Annual Conference in Minneapolis, MN. Over one hundred AASECT members were able to receive 3 Continuing Education credits for attending the June 6thevent. A Taste of Kink was held at Patrick's Cabaret, and was hosted by Minneapolis kink groups and community organizers.

 

"AASECT offers or approves hundreds of quality training programs a year for the purposes of protecting clients and improving services in our areas of professional expertise," says Russell Stambaugh, co-facilitator of A Taste of Kink along with NCSF Spokesperson Susan Wright. "It took top quality kink personnel, a safe setting and excellent program design to make A Taste of Kink a success."

 

The goals of A Taste of Kink were to:

  • Teach the educators and therapists the basics of consent and negotiation in a BDSM context,

  • Show them the toys/equipment commonly associated with BDSM practices,

  • Help them become familiar with healthy patterns of BDSM practices.

After an introduction to consent and negotiation, attendees watched simultaneous demonstrations of common BDSM activities from negotiation to play to aftercare. Then they were given the chance to "taste" each sensation, and participated in negotiation, play and aftercare themselves to model good kink practices

 

The feedback on A Taste of Kink has been overwhelmingly positive. NCSF and the AltSex SIG were careful to obtain informed consent every step of the way and demonstrate best practices developed by the BDSM community.

 

To support NCSF's work, please join or donate to help!

 

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NCSF Thanks!

 

NCSF would like to thank Russell Stambaugh for donating $1,000 to cover the expenses for A Taste of Kink at the AASECT annual conference in Minneapolis in June! 

 

Numbers count when we advocate for you, and the bigger we are, the harder our voice is to ignore. There is no other group that fights for kink and nonmonogamy like NCSF does. We help people in need, groups under siege, and businesses opposed by sex-negative bureaucracy.

 

We can't do it without your support. Thank you for joining NCSF!

 

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Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger

 
BDSM Statement Featured in Republican Platform

CHICAGO, LOUISIANA

 

With 10 Republicans already announced as vying for the 2016 Presidential nomination, a group has some up with a list of positions that all Republicans are expected to accept as part of their official platform.

 

The Conservative Values Coalition has, for the first time, specified BDSM, Kink, and Fetishism on their list of activities that are "Practiced Privately and Denied Publicly."

 

The document details kinks and fetishes that should be "publicly ridiculed" and encouraged the use of words like "freaks, weirdos, perverts, and abominations" to describe practitioners, yet permitted candidates to engage in kinky activity "as long as they don't get caught."

 

Another provision specified in the document was "nothing in the butt," as that crosses the line from being "merely kinky" into "full blown gayness."

 

Washington insiders speculate that such restrictions may be aimed at Ted Cruz who, for years, has been known in Washington kink circles for his love of enema play.

 

"It is going to be hard from Cruz to keep away from the butt," one prominent Lobbyist told The Daily Flogger, "but if you want to be President, you have to prove you are willing to be a hypocrite and this is a good opportunity for Ted to step up."

 
Read more at the Daily Flogger website.

 

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Announcing a Major Event-The 2015 BDSM Writers Con

 

Mark Your Calendars:  August 20-23 in NYC

 

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is proud to be a sponsor of the 2015 BDSM Writers Con, and we urge member of our communities to attend this exciting event (www.bdsmwriterscon.com).

 

The BDSM Writers Con, founded by noted author and world-renowned clinical sexologist Dr. Charley Ferrer, brings together readers and authors of BDSM literature.  Attendees will mix and mingle with the leading authors in the field, will attend workshops, live demos and a BDSM Book Fair, and will participate in a BDSM Club Night.  The conference will also feature a ceremony presenting the annual Golden Flogger Award to a prominent author of BDSM fiction.

 

This is the third annual BDSM Writers Con organized by Dr. Charley Ferrer.  Doctor Charley is one of America's leading sexologists in the field of BDSM and author of "BDSM:  The Naked Truth".  NCSF has supported her efforts and sponsored last year's highly successful conference.  Dr. Ferrer has spoken frequently at NCSF events, particularly in support of the Consent Counts Project.

 

NCSF views the BDSM Writers Con as an important element in expanding the public's understanding and acceptance of BDSM.  Writers of fiction are significant opinion makers.  The growing significant and largely sympathetic attention to BDSM-in films, books, television and theatre-in the wake of Fifty Shades of Gray testifies to the role that can be played by fictional depictions of BDSM.

 

So your attendance at the 2015 BDSM Writers Con supports an important force for greater public acceptance of our communities.  And you will also have a great time!

 

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redchairpride

NCSF celebrates Pride Month with Coalition Partner
The Red Chair marching at the Birmingham Pride Parade.

 

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Incident Reporting & Response - 2nd Quarter 2015 report

By Susan Wright, Director of IRR

 

NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 60 requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses throughout April, May and June. NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest. Here is a breakdown of the cases we dealt with in the second quarter of 2015.

 

Criminal

There were 19 requests for assistance with incidents involving kink and criminal law. 15 of those requests came from people complaining about a kink-related assault/sexual assault who needed assistance in connecting with kink-aware victim services, and help in educating law enforcement, investigators and prosecutors. 4 were requests for kink-aware defense attorneys and expert witnesses knowledgeable about BDSM vs. abuse (2 involved allegations of assault in a BDSM context).

 

Groups

There were 17 requests for help involving BDSM and swing groups. 9 groups asked for advice on banning members and dealing with consent violations. 5 groups asked for assistance in setting up a club and dealing with zoning and local authorities. 1 group needed help with organizational structure, 1 had an issue with a member threatening to sue them for age discrimination, and 1 had questions about liability regarding the kinds of activities they allow in their space.

 

Media

There were 6 media incidents that NCSF assisted in this quarter. First, there was a great deal of media cover on The Social Club, a Nashville Lifestyle club, which has in turn prompted a backlash in the form of both local and state regulations against private clubs. There were also individuals and groups we assisted behind the scenes in dealing with public exposure they got through media coverage.

 

Professionals

Six professionals and organizations asked NCSF for information and resources to assist in them in providing their services. These included victim advocates, therapists, and college professors.

 

Child Custody/Divorce

In an all-time record low for NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response going back to 2002, there were only 5 child custody cases in the last three months. One case involved a Child Protective Services investigation instigated by a 3rd party mandatory reporter, while in another one, an ex-partner brought in CPS due to FetLife photos they found.

 

Civil Law

There were 4 cases involving civil law: 3 cases of blackmail that required cease & desist letters, and 1 pro domme who needed assistance.

 

Discrimination

There were 3 cases of discrimination. One incident involved a student who was suspended for sharing their involvement in the BDSM community. Someone had trouble with a religious organization discriminating against them. And someone needed advice on what to say about kink when getting a security clearance.

 

If you need NCSF's help because of discrimination or to remove kink as a barrier to service, please contact our Incident Reporting & Response today! Email  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

 

Please join now or donate to support NCSF's direct services!

 

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The NCSF was excited to table at International Ms Leather and International Ms Bootblack Weekend in San Jose California this April.

imsl2015 01

 

We sent board member Julian Wolf, who also took the stage to perform during Seduction Thursday night and carried a flag during the opening ceremonies.

imsl2015 02

 

We'd like to extend our congratulations to Sarge, your current IMsL; slave tabitha arie your current IMsBB; and the IMsL producers for such a notable event. 

Would you like NCSF materials and/or an NCSF representative at your event? Let us know!
 

 

Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Polyamory 101: What the Curious Need to Know from CafeMom

Swingers clubs limited by state lawmakers from The Tennessean

The Second Coming of Tom from Out Magazine

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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See our list of Coalition Partners at the NCSF website
 
Are you a CP Representative? Make sure we have your updated information by email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
 

Interested in a specific story or in writing an article?
email Julian:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
1st Quarter, 2015
edited by Julian Wolf

In this issue

Mid-Atlantic Region Hosts the Coalition Partner Meeting

NCSF Thanks!

Daily Flogger Satire

Dommes of the DC Sub Club Do it Again!

Guest Blog: Disclosure and Outness as a Therapist

Incident Reporting & Response

Media Updates

Representing on FetLife

 


The Mid-Atlantic Region hosts NCSF's Coalition Partners Annual Meeting

 

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partners meeting in Baltimore, MD from March 20-22. The Coalition Partners and Board Members focused on the goals for NCSF's programs moving forward, along with discussing the annual reports, voting in the Board of Directors and approving the budget.  

 

"It's been an inspiring year to see the Board and Staff of NCSF come together and work hard to make this a better organization," says Chairman Kevin Carlson. "Looking to the future was important for us at this Annual Meeting, as we laid out the path for what our coalition can become and how we can better serve our communities."

 

For the complete annual reports and financials, go to: http://bit.ly/1Cs6NXsSome of our successes over the past year include:

 

  • Financial transparency is maintained by monthly reports to the Board with the necessary supporting documentation such as bank statements.
  • The American Law Institute invited NCSF to submit recommendations to the Model Penal Code project related to rape, sexual assault, etc. and will continue to involve NCSF in its work to improve the Model Penal Code and judicial interpretations.
  • NCSF filed two appellate briefs in the Miles case, a military case involving a threesome, with arguments based on the 2003 Lawrence decision by the U.S. Supreme Court.
  • The NCSF membership and fundraising database is now being powered by Wild Apricot, with payment via PayPal optional.
  • 10,000 palm cards were printed featuring Consent, the Law, Fun Facts and BDSM Resources that were distributed by kink groups around the U.S. during the Fifty Shades of Greymovie launch (palm cards are currently in second printing).
  • Over 1,200 people accessed the Kink Aware Professionals list in 2014.
  • 184 people, groups and businesses received help from NCSF in fighting discrimination in 2014.
  • The Education Outreach Project and Consent Counts Project gave 36 presentations.The Media Outreach Project gave 32 interviews in 2014, and another 27 in the first quarter of 2015 thanks to the "50 Shades of NCSF" media blast.

 

NCSF would like to thank Judy Guerin (Consent Counts Director), Dick Cunningham (NCSF Legal Counsel), and Ashlie Deal (NCSF Advocate), for their planning and assistance during the annual meeting. NCSF would also like to thank Marc Ominsky for presenting with Ashlie and Susan Wright at the Baltimore PlayHouse on Sunday afternoon on Consent Violations and Liability.

 

The DC Sub Club and the DC Dommes hosted a VIP Reception and play party at Dick and Judy's house on Saturday evening so the NCSF Board Members and staff could meet local community members. Thanks to the attendees, and Dick and Judy for matching donations, a total of $5,300 was raised! NCSF thanks you for your support!

 

The new NCSF Board of Directors consists of:

 

Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID

Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY

Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - NCSF Treasurer - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN

Jim Fleckenstein - NCSF Foundation Treasurer - Manassas, VA

Laura Carlson - Education Outreach Director - Boise, ID

Barak (Drew Gardinier) - CP Liaison - Columbus, OH

Jason - Membership Director - St. Louis, MO

Keira Harris - Volunteer Director - New Orleans, LA

Devin MacLachlan - Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Mercury - Literature Director - Nashville, TN

Julian Wolf - Newsletter Director - Albuquerque, NM

Susan Wright - Media and Incident Reporting & Response Director - Phoenix, AZ

 

NCSF looks forward to seeing you on the West Coast for the 2016 Annual Coalition Partners Meeting.

Please support NCSF by becoming a member, volunteering or donating today! NCSF is here to help you, so please help us! www.ncsfreedom.org

 

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NCSF Thanks!

 

The DC Sub Club and the Dommes of the DC SubClub raised $5,300 for NCSF at their VIP reception and dungeon party held in March to coincide with the NCSF Annual Coalition Partner Meeting in Baltimore.

 

Folsom Street Events donated a $1,000 to NCSF as part of their 2014 National Community Grant program.

 

Coalition Partner Leather SINS donated $900 to the NCSF Foundation from their Kinky Kollege Spring Break event in March.

Coalition Partner AdventuresInSexuality.org in Columbus, Ohio, donated $440 to sponsor the printing of NCSF's wallet bust cards.

 

Coalition Partner MN Marketplace raised $183 at their February 21st Vicious Valentine Redux event.

 

The Atlanta PolyAmorous group raised $130 for NCSF on January 15th.

 

Coalition Partner Albany Power Exchange donated $110 to NCSF.

 

Coalition Partner The Knights of Leather in Minneapolis donated $100 to NCSF in January.

 

The Fraternal Members of The 15 Association in San Francisco donated $100 to NCSF in December 2014.

 

Thank you to all the new members who joined NCSF during our 50 Shades of NCSF membership drive!

 

Numbers count when we advocate for you, and the bigger we are, the harder our voice is to ignore. There is no other group that fights for kink and nonmonogamy like NCSF does. We help people in need, groups under siege, and businesses opposed by sex-negative bureaucracy.

 

We can't do it without your support. Thank you for joining NCSF!

 

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Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger

Researchers Discover "Sex Positive" Gene

 

HELSINKI, FINLAND

 

Researchers in Finland have discovered a new gene which they are calling "sex positivity." The breakthrough changes conventional thinking that the so-called "sex positive" movement was just a combination of horniness, self-righteousness, and the inability to keep one's opinions to oneself.

 

"Not true," says researcher Sven Anderson. "We found a completely separate gene. It often happens to be combined with the others, explaining why most of these people are completely insufferable to be around, but it is really its own thing."

 

Kitty Danger, 27, held a press conference to celebrate the finding. "We hope this brings the era of gene-shaming to an end."

 

- See more at: http://www.thedailyflogger.com/researchers-discover-sex-positive-gene/

 

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Dommes of the DC Sub Club Do It Again!

By Judy Guerin

 

The fabulous ladies of the DC Sub Club put together another fun VIP reception and dungeon party for the benefit of NCSF on Saturday March 22nd that raised over $5,300.  Every year, these ladies do fundraisers for NCSF and raise substantial funds.  Not only did the ladies help promote it and attend, Mistress Mei coordinated the house set-up and food preparation. Chef Voodoodoc8 donated the food and prepared a scrumptious dinner buffet and appetizers.  All had a great time.

 

nl q1 2015 p1

 

This event was scheduled in honor of NCSF's annual meeting, which was held the weekend of 3/20-3/22 near Baltimore.  The party was held at the home and dungeon of Judy Guerin, NCSF's Consent Counts Director and sponsored by the DC Sub Club.  The DC Sub Club holds a monthly "Dinner with Dommes" where male subs can meet dominant women in a social environment.  NCSF wants to thank all of the ladies:  Mistress Mei, Mistress Tyler, Mistress Lynn, Cherokee Rose, Ivory Mistress Jae, Ms. Seven and Mistress Max Rulz, as well as the DC Sub Club and chef Voodoodoc8.  We also want to thank the members of the DC Sub Club and others who made extra donations and made this event so successful.  Here are some pictures of the ladies enjoying themselves with Susan Wright and Judy Guerin of NCSF.  Per Mistress Mei, "These local pro dommes rock and are always ready to help NCSF."

 

nl q1 2015 p2

 

Each year these ladies also hold a formal dinner and dungeon party for the benefit of NCSF that raises over $4,000 annually.  8-10 of these ladies participate each year and seats at the table are auctioned off online for the corresponding number of submissive men.  This year's dinner is scheduled for July 11, so all of the submissive men in the DC and Baltimore metro area should start thinking about their bids so they don't miss out on this very fun event.

 

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Guest Blog: "Disclosure and Outness as a Therapist with Intersecting Atypical Identifications"

by Dulcinea Pitagora

 

Prior to starting my practice as a therapist, I was confronted with contradicting perspectives on the therapist's disclosure of personal information to their clients.  The prevailing thought behind this in the mental health field is that the therapeutic environment is not a place for therapists to disclose too much about themselves-therapy is about the client, not about the therapist, and disclosing personal information might distract clients from the therapeutic process for a variety of reasons.  Having said that, recent research has shown potential benefits in certain types of disclosure, particularly when the therapist is a member of a sexual minority group, and the client in question might feel safer with a therapist who shares their marginalized identification(s).

 

I have to say, it was validating and such a relief to hear this perspective echo my own.  The fact is, I was aligned with this approach to disclosure well before reading this research, having had the experience of searching for a therapist myself, and asking potential therapists to disclose their connection to and experience with BDSM.  Not that I wanted to know personal details about the therapist's sex life or partner status, but it was important to me to know that they had a working knowledge of my lifestyle, not only so they wouldn't judge or pathologize my preferences, but so I wouldn't waste time and money on educating them as I had with past therapists.

 

This is exactly why I'm out about the communities I work with and am a part of, and this is also exactly why I created ManhattanAlternative.com-a listing of providers in New York City who are openly affirmative to kink, poly, and LGBTQ communities and lifestyles. The last time I looked for a therapist for myself, I (successfully!) used NCSF's KAP listing to help direct my search. I know I'm not the only one who finds NCSF's work hugely inspiring, and I have to give a great amount of credit to NCSF for encouraging me to be out about my intersecting identifications, and motivating me to create a diverse network of affirming providers in the city where I live and practice.

 

I feel an obligation to the individuals I work with to be out about my identifications, not only because it might help them feel safer and more comfortable in talking to me, but because it sets the precedent that there is nothing wrong with feeling good about having an atypical identification and owning who you are.  It is important to note that being out in this way is a privilege that not everyone has.  Many people who are kinky, poly, or have a non-binary sexual orientation or gender identification (or intersections thereof) work and live in environments that could be dangerous if they weren't closeted.  Being out is definitely an individual decision, and depends on social context and individual readiness.  I am of the mindset that the more of us who can be out the better, because it will slowly help those who can't be by chipping away at pathologizing public perceptions and stigmatization.

 

My goals in creating Manhattan Alternative are to make it easier for people who have been wanting to reach out for support but have been reluctant to, or haven't been able to find someone they feel comfortable talking to, and offer support to those with intersecting marginalized identities (e.g., kinky and poly; kinky and gender-nonconforming; poly and gender-nonconforming; kinky, poly, and queer; etc).  Another goal is to encourage providers with practical knowledge of these communities to offer support by being out about their knowledge of and connection to these communities.  Especially in the wake of the 50 Shades franchise, many providers are advertising that they are kink- or alt lifestyle-friendly, and while I don't doubt many of them are affirming, they may not have the practical knowledge or experience that Manhattan Alternativeproviders emphasize.

 

My hope is to create a network of providers that is as inclusive and diverse as possible, which is why I'm putting a call out to therapists and health care professionals of varying races, ethnicities, abilities, gender expressions, and sexual orientations-particularly those with an intersection of identifications-to fill out the Manhattan Alternative Provider Application Form if they are interested in being listed as a kink/poly/trans/LGBQ-affirmative provider.

 

Dulcinea Pitagora, MA, LMSW

Manhattan Alternative Founder

ManhattanAlternative.com

 

Guest Blogs do not represent NCSF but are the opinion of the blogger. NCSF provides space for activists to post their opinions in order to get feedback from the kink and nonmonogamous communities on the work they are doing and the information they are providing to the mainstream.

 

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Incident Reporting & Response - 1st Quarter 2015 report

By Susan Wright, Director of IRR

 

NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 54 requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in January, February and March. NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest. Here is a breakdown of the cases we assisted on in the first quarter of 2015:

 

Criminal

 

There were 18 requests for assistance with incidents involving criminal law. 12 of those requests were from survivors of a kink-related assault/sexual assault who needed assistance in connecting with kink-aware victim services, education of law enforcement, investigators and prosecutors. 5 were requests for kink-aware defense attorneys and expert witnesses knowledgeable about BDSM vs. abuse. The other incident involved obscenity law.

 

Professionals

 

13 professionals and organizations asked NCSF for information and resources to assist in them in providing their services to kinky clients. These included victim services, medical clinics, therapists, prosecutors and college professors. We also provided information and resources to 2 kink activists to assist in their training of professionals in their area.

 

Groups

 

There were 12 requests for help involving BDSM and swing groups. 6 groups asked for advice on banning members and dealing with consent violations. 4 groups asked for assistance in setting up a club and dealing with zoning. 2 groups needed assistance with reporters who wanted to attend one of their events.

 

Child Custody

 

There were 8 requests for help with child custody in which BDSM was brought in to contest custody. That is an increase from the 4th quarter of 2014 in which there were 6 requests for help with child custody. We assisted in family court cases in Virginia, Indiana, Ohio, Texas, Georgia, Arkansas and Canada.

 

Discrimination

 

There were 2 requests for help with kink-related discrimination. One person is being denied hospital visitation and the other needed help finding a kink-aware therapist in her area.

 

Civil law incidents

 

Only 1 request for help with a threatened outing, involving their FetLife profile.


If you need NCSF's help because of discrimination or to remove kink as a barrier to service, please contact our Incident Reporting & Response today! Email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

 

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Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Polyamory 101: What the Curious Need to Know from CafeMom

Swingers clubs limited by state lawmakers from The Tennessean

The Second Coming of Tom from Out Magazine

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Return to top


See our list of Coalition Partners at the NCSF website
 
Are you a CP Representative? Make sure we have your updated information by email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
 

Interested in a specific story or in writing an article?
email Julian:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
3rd Quarter, 2014
edited by Julian Wolf

In this issue

2014 Roundup

NCSF Thanks!

Incident Reporting & Response

Daily Flogger Satire

Guest Blog: Out To The Doctor?

Are You Ready for 50 Shades?

Media Updates

Representing on FetLife


NCSF's 2014 Roundup

 

      2014 has been a year of progress for NCSF and for people who are kinky and nonmonogamous. The national conversation about gay marriage, consent, and even Fifty Shades of Grey are transforming mainstream attitudes. The change in the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-5 stating that BDSM is a healthy form of sexual expression has also had a significant impact on both the courts and public opinion about kink.

 

Education Outreach Project

      The NCSF Board Members and presenters gave Education Outreach Project workshops and tabled at 36 events in 2014 (compared to 22 in 2013), with a focus on consent discussions, BDSM & the Law, and distributing literature such as Kink is Okay and Finding Kink Aware Medical Care.

      The groups and events where NCSF presented included: Arizona Men of Leather, Arizona Power Exchange, Atlanta Poly Weekend, BDSM Writers Con, Behind Closed Doors, Beyond The Love, CatalysCon East, Catalyst Art & Cultural Space, Center for Sex Positive Culture, CLAW, COPE, CPI/The Mark, Dark Con, Dark Odyssey Winter Fire, Dark Odyssey Surrender, Desert Dominion, DragonCon, Floating World, Folsom Street East, Future of Monogamy and Non-Monogamy, International Mr. Leather, Kinkfest, Leathermen's Discussion Group, MSDB Bizarre Bazaar, Paradise Unbound, Poly Living Conference, Polyamory Political Activism Conclave, Portland Leather Alliance, SMART, Society for Sex Therapy & Research 39th Annual Meeting, Southwest Leather Contest, Spanksgiving, Thunder in the Mountains, Up Your Alley - Dore Alley, Winter Wickedness, and the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit.

      NCSF also exhibited at the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) 47th Annual Conference on June 4-8th, in Monterey, California. NCSF helped organize a panel presentation on "Social Organizations and BDSM Communities," moderated by Neil Cannon, PhD, DST and Russell Stambaugh, PhD, DST. The panel was attended by 115 of the 550 participants, and raised over $4,000 for AASECT. The panelists were experienced and articulate kink organizers on the West Coast: Race Bannon, Janet Hardy, Demitri Moshanyii, Richard Sprott, Anna Randall, and Jim and Montaine who run a dungeon-themed B&B in Monterey. 

       Jim Fleckenstein was the lead presenter on "The Fountain of Youth! The Association of an Open Relationship Orientation with Health and Happiness in a Sample of Older Adults," a workshop discussing the key findings from the Loving More and NCSF internet survey, the largest-ever sample of self-identified polyamorists.  

      The NCSF booth in the Exhibit Hall gave away 50 free copies of What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory, courtesy of a grant by Alan of Polyamory in the News as well as brochures on NCSF's projects and programs. Nearly 150 copies of NCSF's new Kink is Okay! brochure were given away, describing the changes in the DSM-5 that depathologized BDSM.

 

Kink Aware Professionals

      Over 1,200 people accessed NCSF's Kink Aware Professionals database in 2014 to find a lawyer, therapist or other professional. Recognizing the need for more kink aware professionals in KAP, NCSF joined forces with GayLawNet, a free referral database of gay-friendly attorneys, which began offering a Kink Aware Professional category for their lawyers to self-identify as kink aware.

 

Incident Reporting & Response

      To assist in educating professionals, NCSF published What Professionals Need to Know About BDSM by Lauren Moore, Tamara Pincus & David Rodemaker. This pamphlet was written to help professionals meet culturally competent ethical standards in work with those of our underserved population.

      NCSF received 184 requests for assistance in 2014 through Incident Reporting & Response. 40% of IRR requests dealt with criminal issues. 20% were child custody/divorce. 14% were requests for information on kink and non-monogamy from professionals including: academics, social services, vanilla nonprofit organizations & events, authors, merchant services, and insurance brokers. 11% were group issues, primarily assisting in handling adversarial members, outreach to law enforcement, or managing negative media incidents.

 

Media

      NCSF launched our 50 Shades of NCSF campaign featuring four palm cards and a resource page. Two of the palm cards are geared toward vanilla people who may be interested in kink while the other two have information on consent and the law. These palm cards were sent to 68 groups for distribution during the upcoming launch of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie.

      In December, NCSF also broadcast a media kit through PR Newswire entitled "NCSF: Are you ready for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie?" that targeted reporters and offered story ideas about kink and non-monogamy. The PR was reposted on 137 websites, including Reuters and the Associated Press, and was viewed by over 1,000 journalists in the first 24 hours.

      Susan Wright gave 32 interviews in 2014 to reporters from mainstream media to blogs and podcasts. The 2014 interviews included: The NY Times, NY Magazine, Atlantic Monthly, CNN, Playboy, Bay Area Reporter, Slate, Jane XO, Alternet, andtwo Huffington Post Live appearances.

      Barak and Sheba of AdventuresinSexuality.org, a long-time Coalition Partner of NCSF, joined the media team and will be giving interviews on kink and non-monogamy. NCSF also published 15 Guest Blogs by experts in various fields, up from five Guest Blogs posted in 2013. Jsin created several podcast PSAs about NCSF tailored to specific niches - leathermen, pansexual and vanilla-ish - as well as promotional videos to accompany the 50 Shades of NCSF campaign.

 

Surveys

      NCSF ran two surveys in 2014: the Consent Violations Survey and the Mental Health Survey. The results of both will be available in early 2015. The Consent Violations Survey collected 4,600 responses and the results will be given to law enforcement, prosecutors, victim services and health care professionals to help them understand the experiences of kinky people and provide better quality service.

      The Mental Health Survey collected over 800 responses. NCSF is working with researchers at Sam Houston University's Department of Psychology and Philosophy who will ultimately compare our response set to two other sample populations - one college-aged and the other LGBT. 

 

Consent Counts

      The Consent Counts program continued its educational mission as well as providing Amicus ("friend of the court") Briefs in relevant legal cases. The Navy and Marine Corps Court of Criminal Appeals twice accepted NCSF's amicus brief in the case of Gregory T. Miles, Lance Corporal, U.S. Marine Corps. NCSF advised the court that prosecutors are avoiding the Supreme Court decision, made in Lawrence v. Texas, that moral judgment is not a basis for criminalizing consensual sexual conduct, and that consensual sex should only be criminalized if that conduct is injurious or goes against a valid societal interest. NCSF also argued that military law is out of sync with U.S. Constitutional law and societal mores, especially when it comes to consensual sexual behaviors.

 

Ombuds Committee

      As part of the revamping of NCSF's policies and procedures this year, the NCSF Board created the Ombuds Committee in June and appointed Desmond Ravenstone, James Huesmann and Bjorn Paulee. The Ombuds Committee handles complaints and concerns regarding the conduct of NCSF officers and staff, and the operations of NCSF institutions. The NCSF Ombuds Committee was established as an Advisory Committee, as per NCSF bylaws, to review coalition administration and activities, assuring ethical and effective fulfillment of NCSF's mission and goals. Board Member Fil Vocasek is the Board Liaison to the Ombuds Committee.

 

      NCSF thanks the groups, businesses and individuals who have donated and joined NCSF as members this year. Our staff, Board Members, Coalition Partners, Supporting Members and individual members all understand how important it is to have NCSF as a resource to help kinky and non-monogamous people. Please join NCSF today!

 

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NCSF Thanks!

Joseph Callahan donated $2,000 to the NCSF Foundation in December.


Adventures in Sexuality, a NCSF Coalition Partner, donated $500 at their COPE conference in October.

CPI/The Mark, a Coalition Partner, donated $1,000 to NCSF in October.

Behind Closed Doors, the annual conference by Baja Arizona Leather, a Supporting Member of NCSF, raised $300 by passing the hat at their Sunday key note speech.

House of Decorum, a NCSF Coalition Partner, raised $1,296 at their annual fetish ball, held this year in Asheville, NC.

The Red Chair, a NCSF Coalition Partner, donated $744 that was raised at their annual NCSF fundraiser and Halloween Masquerade. This year's theme was Steampunk! Airship Pirates and Gypsies running wild, with great carnival games and events.

The SFCitadel sponsored a Holiday Dance in the Dungeon for NCSF that raised $913 in 
December. The event was supported by the Leathermen's Discussion Group, 15 Association, Society of Janus and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

The New Mexico Leather League donated $621 to NCSF in November.

Min-KY, a NCSF Coalition Partner, raised $580 for NCSF in October.

Spanksgiving, the annual fall event by STL3, a Coalition Partner of NCSF, raised $320 through their ice-bucket challenge at the opening ceremonies against Jason (NCSF Board Member), James (NCSF's Ombuds Committee) and the lovely Tink.

The Tides Foundation donated a $1,500 grant to NCSF! The board of directors thanks Tides, as well as the anonymous donor who nominated NCSF for this grant.

 

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Incident Reporting & Response - 2014 Report
By Susan Wright

     NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response helps people who are being discriminated against 
because they are kinky and/or nonmonogamous: 184 requests for help were received in 2014. One-fourth of the cases evolved into weeks- or months-long projects, requiring the education of a number of legal, medical and mental health professionals about kink. Other professionals who requested information or resources to better serve kinky people included: academics, social services, vanilla nonprofit organizations & events, authors, merchant services, and insurance brokers.
     The drop in IRR requests can be partly attributed to the increased page views on NCSF's 
Kink Aware Professionals database, with over 1,200 kinky people directly accessing KAP in 2014 to find a lawyer, therapist or other professional rather than asking NCSF for help through Incident Reporting & Response. Recognizing the need for more professionals to be listed in KAP, in 2014 NCSF joined forces with GayLawNet, a free referral database of gay-friendly attorneys. GayLawNet also began offering a Kink Aware Professional category for their lawyers to self-identify as kink aware.

     Of the 184 requests for assistance, the majority dealt with BDSM while only 6 involved 
polyamory/swing issues:

73 criminal issues
33 child custody 
26 requests for info from professionals 
20 kink group issues
10 discrimination issues
5 job discrimination 
6 media related incidents
4 divorce
4 civil law issues 
3 outings

 

Criminal issues
     The 73 requests that involved criminal issues typically took the most time and effort to 
help resolve, including finding kink-aware legal representation and educating relevant 
professionals to remove kink as a barrier to services. The requests break down as follows:

42 - assistance with victim services, reporting an assault, sexual assault, blackmail or 
stalking to the police, and obtaining restraining orders
13 - referrals for kink-aware defense attorneys
6 - assisting sex workers who were arrested
6 - assisting people in dealing with: probation, sex offenders, sex traffickers
5 - research on state criminal laws and contracts

 

Child Custody/Divorce

     In 2014, there was a significant drop in requests for help with child custody/divorce 
issues. That is due to the change in the DSM-5 criteria, which made it clear that people who are kinky are not mentally ill:

2014 - 37 people
2013 - * see note
2012 - 87 people
2011 - 115 people
2010 - 125 people
2009 - 132 people 
 
     An even bigger change due to the DSM-5 can be found in the percentage of kinky 

parents who now retain child custody. More kinky parents who come to NCSF for help are 
successful in removing kink as an issue in family court and with social service workers and Child Protective Services. Of the 33 cases, 3 are still ongoing, but of those that assigned custody: 

2014 - 89% (27 out of 30 parents) custody was not removed because of kink. 
2012 - 53% (41 out of 77 parents) custody was not removed because of kink.
2011 - 23% (23 out of 101 parents) custody was not removed because of kink.
2010 - 12% (13 out of 109 parents) custody was not removed because of kink.
 
Groups
     There was also a drop in the number of requests from BDSM, swing and polyamory 

educational and social groups. Most people are now aware that they need to get professional advice in setting up their clubs and association papers, and it is common knowledge how to produce an event legally. As a result, NCSF received fewer requests for establishing a nonprofit or dealing with zoning laws, and instead primarily assisted groups in handling adversarial members, liability issues, doing outreach to local law enforcement, and handling media incidents. NCSF helped 20 kink groups in 2014 vs. 77 in 2012.

     Requests for help with swing and polyamory issues dropped to less than 3% of the total 
requests in 2014 compared to nearly 9% in 2012 and nearly 5% in 2011. There has been a 
significant drop in the number of house parties as Lifestyle events have shifted toward a 
business model that uses club venues, cruise ships and hotels. This means fewer busted house parties, and less need for NCSF services.

     The decline in discrimination against nonmonogamists may also be due in part to the 
success of gay marriage. The mainstream media covers relationship issues like nonmonogamy much more positively than it did five years ago. According to the NCSF Media Updates, of the articles that involved nonmonogamy as a subject:

2014 - 53 articles: 77% were positive and 23% were negative.
2013 - 42 articles: 81% were positive and 19% were negative.
2012 - 21 articles: 62% were positive and 38% were negative.
2011 - 33 articles: 30% were positive and 70% were negative.
2010 - 50 articles: 16% were positive and 84% were negative.
 
For updates and details on IRR requests, look for our quarterly IRR reports in the NCSF 

Newsletter. Sign up by emailing This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

* Note: From 2002-2011, NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received over 500 requests every year. In 2012, that number dropped to 474, likely due to the change in the DSM-5 and an increased use of KAP. The IRR data for 2013 was destroyed by Leigha Fleming when she deleted her emails and documentation from the NCSF server. Some people have reported receiving no response last year, and that may have contributed to fewer people coming to NCSF this year. Susan Wright took over as director of IRR in January, 2014.
 
Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger

Daily Flogger: 
Studio Pulls "50 Shades" Movie After Threats from Japanese Hackers

By Jane Jameson

HOLLYWOOD, MONTANA

 

     Focus Features announced today that they will not be releasing the film version of E L James' book 50 Shades of Grey after Japanese hackers broke into their servers and threatened to release damaging information about the books author, the film's stars, and financial dealings with major studios.

 

     The hacker also threatened to "flood the American market with real bondage and movies about actual S&M relationships" that would make 50 Shades look like a "bad parody of a bad book that was written by a bad author."

 

     The hackers left the following message on the company's servers:

Bondage in movie is very bad.  #GOR [Guardians of Rope] cannot permit movie.  It is so bad we must threaten violence to make it stop.  You disgrace everything good.  Everything that we love.  We have movies we will release.  We have eels doing pervert things.  If you don't stop we will show all Americans these movies.

     Hollywood insiders suspect that the alleged attack may actually be an attempt by the studio to shelve the film which has seen production delays due mostly to actor Jamie Dornan's inability to provide anything more than a wooden, one dimensional performance. Rumors that the sex scenes were stale and lifeless and needed to be reshot dozens of times have led to speculation that the film will be a major disappointment.

 

     Actress Dakota Johnson denied those rumors, telling The Daily Flogger, "I think you are mistaken.  I don't recall there being any sex scenes.  We had a few days of shooting in a bed, but I don't think you could call whatever Jamie was doing sexual or sexy or even interesting."

 

     Johnson has a different view of the film than most. The actress, who hasn't read the books, says "it is really a movie about how boring sex becomes once a man gets a lot of money. I see it as a cautionary tale and a very sad one that that. I wouldn't use the word erotic. Or sexy. Or good."

 
- For more humor with a kinky bent, go enjoy "The Daily Flogger" online magazine at: http://www.thedailyflogger.com/
 

Guest Blog: Out To The Doctor?

By Barak

AdventuresinSexuality.org

 

     So there you are, in the semi-private exam room at your Doctor's office or the Emergency Room, or any other patient care access point... and it's time to be seen.. The nurse has taken your vitals, checked some general questions, and before leaving the room, asks you to get into a gown. You have removed your clothing and have fitted the stylish blue plaid garment as best is possible. The rough material slides over your front, and you get a sore twinge from those nipple clamps you were wearing last night. Images begin to form in your head, as you reminisce about that fantastic scene from last night and your pulse increases slightly. The door opens, and as the doctor walks in you blanch recalling the purple mosaic of bruises you saw reflected in the mirror this am.

 

     What is the Doctor going to think? Will they turn you in? Will they throw you out? Can you get a straightjacket out of this? What do you say? How do you handle it? Do you tell the truth?

 

     Let's chat about this one. I have been in healthcare, as a Nurse or a Paramedic, for over 20 years. I have worked in Home Health, in Doctor's Offices, Psych centers, and at busy ERs and have seen almost everything. Really. I can tell you stories from decades ago about things stuck in places... But, let's save that for a fun night at a Meet N Greet, and get to some real discussion for now.

 

     I will start off by introducing you to something called The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) of 1996. If you read through this Act, you will find that a Doctor, nurse or other healthcare providers (HCPs) can only release records or information that is specific to you or could identify you in any way, if it pertains directly to your care or billing. That's it. If this info in shared in any other way? That is illegal and prosecutable. It's actually very serious in the medical field.

 

     The HIPAA laws prevent HCPs from even disclosing immediate family info. For instance? Let's say Sheba was in the hospital for testing. Let's also say that I was working for this same facility and had access to the computer systems. Even if she asks me to, it is illegal for me to access her records. Why? Because I am not on her care team and thereby don't have a "legitimate" reason for taking a peek.

 

     Where are we going with this? Because this law essentially covers Doctor / Patient confidentiality rules. However, there are a couple loopholes that you may want to be aware of. If a Doctor or other HCP feels that there is some form of danger, like you are being threatened, abused, harmed, etc. They are Mandated Reporters. Meaning, if they feel there is that type of issue, they can legally disclose information to Law Enforcement investigators. But this is for your protection.

 

     Now that you are aware of those pieces, we can continue. What is my advice? I always encourage honesty. If you are hurt, or there is something wrong? Be frank and honest about it. Don't try to make something up that "might" fit what happened.

 

     Let's say you had a shoulder injury during a rope scene. There are certain things you might leave out, but make sure you don't leave anything out that contributed to the injury. For instance, while Kinksters may love the terms, "Tied up and fucked," "BDSM," "Rape Scene," etc... There is no reason to try and bait them by playing, "Shock the Doc." In situations like this, discretion is the better part of valor. Take time and amend possible inflammatory terms. HCPs are fine with the terms, "Kinky Sex." "I like it a little rough," "Creative Sexual expression," etc..

 

     Depending on what you were actually doing, you may not have to get into that discussion at all. For instance, if you were

doing suspension work you might just let them know you were "experimenting with Rope," and "were being held off the ground by rope around your arm, shoulder, etc..." when you felt XYZ or however it happened. Meaning, you don't have to get into why you were suspended, other than you were playing around with Rope.

 

     Either way, you should always be honest about the how it happened. There is really no reason to get into the why most of the time. ya know? As HCPs, we are very adept at understanding the way the human body looks, acts, and works. We are also aware about the mechanics of damage, trauma and wounds. We have spent years listening to stories, comparing injuries, and calculating facts. We have a very finely tuned intuition, so if something feels out of place? We investigate much more fully.

 

     Just know that even if you are completely honest, you may get a visit from the friendly facility social worker. They may verify that everything is on the up and up, that your participation is consensual, and there is not any abuse going on. However, if the HCPs feel as though you are hiding something, deliberately baiting them, or trying to get a reaction, it may mildly irritate or it may really piss em off. Not a great idea, as they can certainly cause problems for you. If you set off their red flags, there is a good chance it will turn into much more of an inquiry that could involve people with a different looking uniforms and badges.

 

     If you are with your partner? Make sure you are on the same page, and don't become resentful if they separate you. They just want to make sure this is not domestic violence. So, smile alot, and make sure you both have the exact same story. One of the best stories? Is the one where you shyly admit you like being tied up, and your partner was trying to accommodate you.

 

     Furthermore, if the reason you are at the doctor's has nothing to do with the bruises on your ass & thighs? Just smile knowingly and say, "It's consensual, I like it rough." Then bring them back to the subject at hand, like the sore throat and cough symptoms you are having. If they bring you back to it? Just be factual and direct. Take a "nothing to see here," attitude.

 

     What to do? Should you come out to your Doctor? In the end that is up to you. However, as I have said, we have seen a lot. I can assure you that handprints don't look like something accidental. Whip, flogger and cane marks? Hello! Your best bet is to be honest and straightforward. If you can't or won't come out to your HCP? Then either make sure you don't have marks, don't get injured, or just find another HCP you are willing to share with. It's your health and your choice.

 

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Are You Ready for Fifty Shades?

 

 To coincide with the launch of the movie, get your Fifty Shades of Kink palm cards from NCSF to put out at your club or in local sex shops and bookstores so that people who are looking to find out more about kink know where to go. 


Contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it to request your cards.

NCSF's Fifty Shades of Kink resource page is for people who are kinky and/or non-monogamous, whether they're just starting out or an old hand at this: ncsfreedom.org/50ShadesofKink

 

consentdouble

 

lawdouble

 

kinkdouble

 

fundouble

 

 

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Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Sex talk on TLC: That's Margaret Cho biz from the NY Daily News

Dave Navarro: I'm Strapped for Kinky Sex from TMZ

Dishes, Dinner, & Sex from Valley Advocate

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
3rd Quarter, 2014

In this issue

NCSF Mental Heath Survey

Incident Reporting & Response

NCSF Thanks!

Merchant Services Question

A Touch of Humor

Media Updates

Representing on FetLife


NCSF Mental Health Survey

Please take the NCSF Mental Health Survey! We would like to know more about your BDSM practices, mental health and relational violence experiences:

 

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/FZ2XDMP 

 

NCSF is working with researchers at Sam Houston University's Department of Psychology and Philosophy who will compare our responses to two other sample populations - one college-aged and the other LGBT-identified.

 

NCSF will use these results to help with our advocacy, benefiting both existing and developing programs. Specifically, the study's results will assist in educating law enforcement, legal and psychological professionals about the practices and mental health of BDSM practitioners.

 

The survey will take approximately 35 minutes of your time.

 
This survey is anonymous. NCSF or outside researchers do not have access to any identifying information about participants.
 
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Incident Reporting & Response - 3rd Quarter 2014 report

By Susan Wright, director of IRR

 

In July, August and September, NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 41 requests for assistance with child custody, job discrimination, legal issues and discrimination against groups and businesses.

 

The Kink Aware Professionals list is our highest accessed resource on our website, with an average of 100 people searching for kink aware professionals every month in the 3rd quarter. As our KAP list grows, people are accessing KAP directly to find kink-aware attorneys and therapists instead of asking NCSF to educate vanilla professionals about kink and nonmonogamy. Please help grow KAP by telling kink friendly professionals that they can get a free listing for referrals.

 

NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However we have to balance that need with the need for transparency. So each quarter, we'll sum up the types of cases we worked on and give you examples of the locations when possible:

 

Child Custody

 

There were 10 requests for help with child custody, a drop from the 2nd quarter in which we had 13 requests for help with child custody. We assisted in family court cases in Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Minnesota, Ohio, Tennessee, Texas and Washington.

 

Organizational issues

 

There were 6 requests for help from BDSM groups. Two separate incidents involved venues cancelling contracts for BDSM event in two different regions. NCSF strategized with the organizers, bringing in our legal counsel in one case, and in the other reaching out directly to the venue to protest the discrimination. NCSF also assisted with a case involving online defamation against an event, and gave advice on membership groups and how to operate legally.

 

Criminal issues

 

There were 16 requests for assistance with criminal issues over the past three months. 6 of those requests involved assistance in dealing with a kink-related sexual assault (one was a defendant). The other 10 incidents include: a request for help with green card issues because of BDSM activities; someone who was being stalked online needed assistance in reporting it and getting an order of protection; several people asked how to deal with an online solicitation from Asian slave traders (I reported the emails to the FBI); provided legal research for a kinky sex worker and referral to nswp.org; and two requests for expert witnesses in criminal cases in Florida and California involving BDSM and alleged domestic violence.

 

Civil law issues

 

There were 7 requests for help with civil law issues including: sexual harassment in the workplace because the person was kinky; someone who was told he had to stop being kinky as part of his court-ordered therapy; issues around a sexual surrogacy case; assistance for someone who had their photographs taken from FetLife and posted on YouTube; and 3 cases of alleged libel. These cases took place in California, Colorado, Maryland and New Jersey, among others.

 

Discrimination

There were 2 requests for help with kink-related discrimination. One person in the South lost their job because they are kinky, and the other needed help with therapy issues involving aspergers and kink behavior.

 

If you need help, please contact NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response: https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/incident-response/incident-response.html or call 410-539-4824.

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NCSF Thanks!

 

The attendees of Behind Closed Doors for passing the hat and raising $300 in October (produced by Baja Arizona Leather, an NCSF Supporting Member).

 

NCSF Coalition Partner Adventures in Sexuality for donating $500 to NCSF from their COPE conference in September in Ohio.

 

The BDSM Writers Conference for raising $513 in their silent auction at the New York City conference in August.

Coming Together, the erotic anthology, donated $130 to NCSF in August.

 

Folsom Street East for donating $2,250 raised at their annual NYC street fair in June, that is earmarked for NCSF's Continuing Legal Education Program.

 

One of NCSF's original Coalition Partners, TES in New York City, raised $270 at their annual conference TES Fest 2014 in July.

One of NCSF's Ohio Coalition Partners, the Purple Rose Society, raised $300 for NCSF in June.

NCSF received the Community Award from Arizona Power Exchange at their 26th Anniversary Celebration on September 20th. Susan Wright holds the award surrounded by some of the APEX Board of Directors and Officers - Master Shane, Master Archer, Tess, Jackie, Master Mick and Samantha. 

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Merchant Services for Kinky Groups and Businesses 

Has your kinky group or business lost its ability to process credit/debit card transactions or has had (or currently having) trouble establishing any merchant service because of ties to kink? If so, please contact NCSF!

 

We have been discussing this problem with the Free Speech Coalition (which is actively searching for merchant service options for adult businesses) and have begun investigating effective options that would benefit our various alt sex communities.

 

Please email or call NCSF to share past/present issues and discuss what these adult-friendly merchant services might need to provide:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  or 410-539-4824.

Thank you!

 

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Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger:

Local Author Plans to "Get Rich" Writing BDSM Fiction

By Lazlo Toth

 

Ted "Chugger" Cormick, 25, has announced his plans to write the "next 50 Shades of Grey." Cormick told The Daily Flogger he was unimpressed by the novel, with its shallow characters and poor writing. "I think I could do better, maybe like 10% better and if that book sold 100 million copies, I think I could sell like ten percent more than that, which is like, well it's more than 100 million."

 

Cormick, who got his nickname from an uncanny ability to ingest enormous quantities of Mountain Dew soda, said he has very limited experience with writing or with BDSM, but sees that as a key to his success.

 

"Listen," Cormick says, "I know lots of real writers have tried to copy the success of 50 Shades, but they are all writers or experts on BDSM. I don't know what I am doing or talking about, just like E.L. James. That is why I am going to succeed."

 

http://www.thedailyflogger.com/local-author-plans-get-rich-writing-bdsm-fiction/

 

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Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Who's Afraid of the Marquis de Sade? from the BBC

Folsom Street Fair 2014: 30 Images from a Day of Kinky Fun from LA.com

Is Kink a Sexual Orientation? from Slate

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

 

 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
2nd Quarter, 2014

In this issue

Go to the Cops

Poly in the Vanilla World

Meet Your Board

Coalition Corner

Media Updates

Available for Your Event

Representing on FetLife


 Go to the Cops

 Susan Wright

You CAN go to law enforcement to report assault even if you're kinky. I get so mad when I hear people say, "You can't go to the cops," or "They'll treat you badly because you're kinky." Really? You tell your friend to crawl in a hole after they're assaulted? Why don't you offer to go with them to report it to law enforcement or to a hospital? Or call NCSF so I can work with the local victim services and help them report it.

 Since I took over NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response program, I've made a lot of phone calls to professionals around the country in order to find good people who won't discriminate against us. And you know what? Our advocacy efforts are working. Even in the most conservative areas, there are judges, lawyers and social service workers who are already educated about kink and nonmonogamy. They know that what we do is consensual, and that assault is assault regardless of the way we have sex.

 In January, I was contacted by several victims of a perpetrator in Maryland. These victims ended up reporting their assaults in two different counties in Maryland. The State's Attorney in one county moved forward with the case. The trial only took half a day. The victim testified, but she wasn't outed in the media, even though the incident in question was fairly sensational and took place at a camp event in front of other kinky people. The event where it happened wasn't harassed by law enforcement, and neither was the kinky club where the perpetrator then worked. The State's Attorney was only interested in the assault, not in harming the victims or the BDSM community. In fact, the victims were treated very well by everyone they dealt with.

Today the perpetrator was convicted of 2nd Degree Assault and was sentenced to a year in jail with two years probation and ordered by the court to attend an intervention program for intimate partner abuse.

If someone assaults you or your friend, then this is what can result if you go to the police. NCSF can help you. You don't have to stay quiet. Prosecutors will typically take on cases where there are witnesses, so assaults that happen at events are actually more prosecutable in their eyes than something that happens in private at home. Prosecutors also look at the physical evidence - if you were hurt in an assault ALWAYS go to the hospital or to your doctor or a community assistance center so they can take photographs of the damage that was done to you. Even if you don't know if you'll report it, you'll have the evidence if you do decide to report it later.

 Also, prosecutors take it more seriously if there is more than one victim. When you report an assault and you don't have any physical evidence or witnesses, prosecutors may decide to wait to see if another victim comes forward. Multiple accusations carry more weight. But that can only happen if you report it.

You can quote all the stats you want to about the small percentage of assaults - especially sexual assaults - that go to trial. But when we don't even try to get justice, then zero convictions will take place. If we don't try to stop someone who is a serial predator, then they will go on to commit more crimes.

Our community can't keep people safe. We can't give out all the names of everyone who violates consent or somehow protect everyone at risk. That's why yelling names from the rooftops doesn't work. But reporting it to the police does work. That's why in this case, many of the group and event organizers quietly banned this person and pulled their events from the club while the perpetrator still worked there. They had to keep things quiet so the victim could pursue their case through the judicial system - remember that witness tampering is a serious charge.

I'm so proud of the victims for standing up for themselves and stopping the cycle of repeated assaults. I'm proud of the Mid-Atlantic community of organizers for how they handled this difficult situation. It's been a learning experience for a lot of us, and I think that reporting assault to the police was the way to properly deal with this.

 NCSF's Incident Reportinghttps://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/incident-response/incident-response.html

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Guest Blog: Poly in the Vanilla World

By Bjorn Paulee

 

Accepting this assignment for NCSF has been a difficult time, but not for reasons you may assume.  One of the members of our poly family has been ill and in and out of the hospitals locally, and time has been precious more so than normally.

 

I've known that I was poly before the word existed while I was going through puberty.  During my dating years, I was at one point going "steady" with four different girls at four different high schools.  So what does it mean to be poly in a vanilla world?  If I were to bring it down to the most concise phrase I could, it would be "emotional juggling," and if you think you desire it, you'd better be ready for it.  Only those to whom it comes naturally seem to be able to do it consistently.

 

Our poly family right now is four and growing, with one under consideration and a number of others who may be asked if they want to be under consideration.  The problem is whether they are ready for it and are poly by nature or have another agenda.

 

But let me go back to the topic of living in a vanilla world.  At best, it is difficult.  The national culture is not ready to accept polyamorous or polygamous relationships in the open.  The result is that most alternate lifestylers are forced to lie in order to live the life they feel they need.  Psychologically, that is not healthy.  It also means that only the best liars are the ones that can survive without being outed.

 

I was a very good liar for many years, something I am not proud of.  I was able to maintain vanilla relationships, while letting the needs I have play out.  But it hurt others in the process.  I have good relationships with my kids for the most part, but they were raised in such a manner that they knew who I was and why I had to live as I did.  I have a close group of lifelong friends and most of them know about me, but some live very conservative lives and this is not something to wear on your sleeve and throw it in the faces of others.

 

A few years ago, I made the decision not to lie any more.  For the most part, I've been able to hold true, but there are still times that cannot be helped.  For instance, one of the members of our poly family was in the hospital and in order to get information about her condition and make good with the nursing staff and doctors, we needed to say we were part of her family, so she instantly became a sister-in-law to me.  Sigh.  As a result, we have now put an Advance Directive (Living Will) together and are working on more legal documents that long-term will allow us some legal rights.  Again, it is difficult at best.

 

For me, there has been lots of conflict throughout my life for having to use personal skills and talents to be in the closet about swinging early on and polyamory in the later years when swinging was no longer providing satisfaction.  I yearn to have multiple relationships and the variety it brings and I make a good partner, one who enables my partners and friends to be the best people they can be without being intimidating physically or emotionally.  But for now, I am living a reasonable relaxed life, something I was never sure would happen.

 

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Meet Your Board! 

Winner of the most recent NCSF Volunteer of the Year award, Keira!

Do you have a history of activism and community involvement?
I try to be involved in my community, offering aid to the leaders and support to anyone who needs it, but I have never been much of an activist. NCSF is my only true activist endeavor.

What specialties do you bring to the board?
My role on the board is fairly small, I find volunteers for all of our various programs and projects and send the media update on a biweekly basis. That said, I am the youngest board member, so I often offer a different perspective to our mission and as the volunteer coordinator I have the pleasure of being a support to all of our programs. I might have a small role, but it has a big impact in achieving our goals and getting things done.


What inspired you to become involved in NCSF?
I have always enjoyed helping others and soon after learning about the NCSF, Julian Wolf came to speak at my local group. We toured the area together (I had just moved and wanted to see the sights just as much as they did) and through a conversation about how my main goal in life was to serve the kink community I was encouraged to get involved with NCSF. 

Keira writes: I am the Volunteer Coordinator for NCSF. When I'm not wearing that hat, I am a Health and Wellness student, weight lifter, and board gamer I live in Ocean Springs, MS, where I am involved in a very active local community and helping to get the TNG off the ground. For more information about me, or how to get involved with NCSF, please email me at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  .

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Coalition Corner

The Red Chair

What is the mission of your group?
The Red Chair is a 501c non-profit corporation dedicated to providing education and support for adults that practice alternative lifestyles, particularly the BDSM lifestyle. TRC provides this via educational seminars, lectures, group discussions, and free form meetings. The group welcomes all sexual orientations, consensual relationships, and safe/sane/consensual BDSM practices without discrimination.

What inspired your participation with the NCSF? 
The Red Chair early on sought out an organization with the same commitment to adult alternative lifestyle education and issues as it has always had. NCSF's national mission has always coincided with that which the The Red Chair has sought to further on a regional level, and TRC has been a long-time and proud coalition partner with NCSF as a result.
 
What's your favorite way to do your NCSF fund raising? 
TRC holds a special party each year at Halloween, the KarnEvil. Party proceeds are dedicated to the NCSF. 
 
More information can be found at The Red Chair
 
Thank you Chuck for sending in this picture and answering our questions! 
 
 

Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Going National by Race Bannon for the Bay Area Reporter

Unitarian Universalists Ratify Poly Inclusive Language in its Nondiscrimination Standards

Swingers: Inside the Secret World of Sex Clubs from ABC News 

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representatives from the NCSF are Out and About! 

Here's a short sample:
NCSF Sponsors Atlanta Poly Weekend
Workshop and tabling at The Floating World! Board members Keira and Julian Wolf will be discussing Consent Counts in New Jersey at the end of July, as well as hosting a table. 

And that's not all. Interested in having representatives from our organization at your event? Please contact us. We have board members scattered across the country and a dedicated team of Education Outreach Program speakers not to mention our small army of volunteers. We strive to accommodate our constituents, so please don't hesitate to let us know what you're looking for.Please email us.  

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Return to Top

 

 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
1stQuarter, 2014

In this issue

Erotic Awakenings

Take the Consent Violations Survey

2014 Annual Meeting

Meet Your Board

DC Professional Dominatrixes Rock

NCSF Expands Its Legal Resources

Polyamory as Orientation?

Amicus Brief in Support of Consensual Nonmonogamy

Representing on FetLife


Erotic Awakening interviews NCSF Board Member Jsin 

Listen to NCSF Board Member Jsin's interview about NCSF that took place at the recent Beat Me in St. Louis. Hear what NCSF is doing to help people today! Jsin's interview starts at 15:30 min.

 

http://www.eroticawakening.com/files/ea312.php

 

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Take the Consent Violations Survey!

 

 https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ConsentViolationsSurvey

 

Please take this survey even if you've never had a consent violation. We want to know what are your power exchange and sexual identities? Are you "out" about being kinky? How often do you go to BDSM groups and online communities?


NCSF will use these results to help perform its advocacy, such as helping law enforcement, prosecutors and health care professionals understand the experiences of kinky people and provide better quality service.


Only takes 5-20 minutes to complete!

 

This survey is anonymous and your privacy is guaranteed by SurveyMonkey, a secured survey hosting website. NCSF does not have access to any identifying information about the participants.

 

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom www.ncsfreedom.org

 

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NCSF's Coalition Partners Come Together in Nashville, TN 

 

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partner meeting in Nashville, TN from March 14-16, 2014. The Coalition Partners voted in the new Board of Directors for NCSF, approved the 2014 budget, and brainstormed on NCSF's projects and goals for the coming year.

 

"The annual meeting gives NCSF's Coalition Partners the opportunity to tell the board where our focus should be in the coming year," says Chairman Kevin Carlson. "It's also their time to give us feedback on how we're conducting the day-to-day business of NCSF. The Board and staff of NCSF are now re-energized and eager to continue the good work of NCSF."

 

The CP representatives approved the new Financial and Control Policies which have an emphasis on transparency and accountability. The CP reps created an Ombuds Committee which will be responsible for reviewing actions by NCSF board and staff members. The CPs also received a full report on the forensic financial review and the results of the investigation into the theft of funds from the NCSF, and determined the next steps the Board should take in pursuing the restitution of those funds.

 

The CPs were eager to explore new ways of integrating NCSF programs with membership services and outreach efforts. They heard reports on the NCSF projects and programs including:

 

  • The success of the DSM Revision Project in helping to ensure that kinky people are no longer misidentified as mentally ill by the American Psychiatric Association;
  • Kink Aware Professionals list gained 200 professionals in the past year and totals nearly 1,400 professionals;
  • The Media Outreach Project gave over 42 interviews on consensual kink and nonmonogamy;
  • The Education Outreach Project and Consent Counts Project gave 28 presentations;
  • NCSF's Facebook page hit 1,000 Likes.

 

Keira Harris received NCSF's Volunteer of the Year Award for her work as Volunteer Director. Keira has created a volunteer program that is successful in filling the needs of NCSF's projects and programs. Because NCSF is an all volunteer organization, Keira's work is critical to its success.

 

NCSF thanks CPI-The Mark for hosting CP representatives, NCSF board members and staff at their party on Saturday night, and at the Sunday afternoon presentation on BDSM & the Law presented by Judy Guerin, Dick Cunningham and Susan Wright. NCSF also thanks Mercury and Samantha for organizing the annual meeting and welcoming everyone to Nashville.

 

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Meet Your Board! 

Your current NCSF Board is:

Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID

Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY

Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - NCSF Treasurer - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN

Jim Fleckenstein - NCSF Foundation Treasurer - Manassas, VA

Devin MacLachlan - Fundraising Director - Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Laura Carlson - Education Outreach Director - Boise, ID

Keira Harris - Volunteer Director - New Orleans, LA

Mercury - Membership Director - Nashville, TN

Julian Wolf - Newsletter Director - Albuquerque, NM

Susan Wright - Media and Incident Reporting & Response Director - Phoenix, AZ

Fil Vocasek - New York, NY

Jsin - St. Louis, MO

 

NCSF is here to help you, so please help us! Support NCSF by becoming a member, volunteering or donating today! www.ncsfreedom.org

 

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DC Professional Dominatrixes Rock On for NCSF


Now on it's fourth year, the annual Dinner with Dommes exclusive event organized by the DC Professional Dominatrixes have proven to be a beneficial fundraising event for NCSF.


This event brings together top DC and NYC Dominatrixes who donate their time and effort to raise funds for NCSF.  Every year, Mark of DC Dominatrixes ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ) sets up and manages an online auction for seats at the table at this very private and exclusive dinner/play event held in one of the premier dungeons on the East Coast in Washington DC. 


This year, eight lucky submissives were given the chance to be in the presence of eight beautiful and provocative top Professional Dominatrixes from the DC Metro area. The sumptuous dinner was prepared by a very creative chef and her energetic kitchen staff courtesy of Mistress Max Rulz. This event raised a total of $4,200. 


At the 2014 Dark Odyssey Winter Fire event, the local DC Professional Dominatrixes together with DC Dominatrixes and DC Sub Club once again hosted a VIP fundraising reception.  It was a night filled with excitement, laughter and hobnobbing with the creme de la creme of the BDSM community, professional Dominatrixes, fetish models and other kink-friendly people.  Fun was had by all and this event yielded $2,000 for NCSF.
 
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NCSF Expands Its Legal Resources

 

NCSF is pleased to announce the expansion of its Consent Counts legal resources to better serve our communities. Brian Flaherty, who has been the Legal Director for the Consent Counts project since NCSF assumed the project in 2008, will now serve as NCSF's overall Director of Legal Research. Dick Cunningham, who has been legal counsel to the Consent Counts project since its inception, now serves as NCSF's general legal counsel.

 

"This will significantly expand our legal resources to better support NCSF's media relations and Incident Reporting & Response," said Susan Wright, NCSF Founder and Board Member. "It will also provide our non-kink communities increased legal attention to polyamory and swing legal issues."

 

Brian has been instrumental in development of the Consent Counts project and is a professional law librarian as well as one of NCSF's Educational Outreach Program presenters. Dick has a long history of working on sexual freedom, civil rights and free speech legal issues. He is currently the senior international trade attorney at Steptoe & Johnson, LLP in Washington, DC.

 

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Guest Blog
Polyamory As Orientation?

By Race Bannon

 

In a recent article in Modern Poly written by Saul-of-Hearts, a writer, musician and videographer based in Los Angeles and Portland, the idea that polyamory is an orientation, at least for the writer, was put forth. I posted the article titled "Polyamory As Orientation (And Why It Works For Me)" on Facebook and asked my online friends this question: "So what do you think? Is it similar to an orientation or not?"

 

The range of answers I got was interesting as discussions regarding polyamory often are, especially with my online friends who range from actively polyamorous to staunchly monogamous and everything in between. But one comment stood out and resonated with me the moment I read it. A friend offered this:

 

The writer assumes that all humans are not naturally capable of a romantic relationship with more than one individual. I don't like the term poly. Most research into modern hunter/gatherer societies has shown that monogamy is a modern phenomenon and socially constructed for the purposes of property management and inheritance.

 

Monogamy isn't an orientation, it's conditioning.

 

Poly isn't an orientation. It is our natural state.

 

This rings true for me. I also think being poly is our natural state and that monogamy has been imposed upon us by social conditioning. If you read heralded books like Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships, they offer the same conclusion. Of course, this position is controversial for many.

 

But for those of us who identify as poly and who live a poly life now, or have aspirations to do so, I think adopting the mindset that being poly is a natural state while monogamy is not would serve us well. However, the only caution I would offer is that this stance should not denigrate the decision that some will make to configure their relationships in a monogamous fashion. Just because we might put forth the notion that poly is a natural state does not mean that someone's choice to be monogamous is wrong or counter to nature, especially if that decision is truly made for reasons that work for the individuals involved and are not the result of social conditioning that makes those people miserable as they try to conform. Poly folks must always value the monogamous among us even as we live our lives in a different fashion. Diversity is the norm and therefore that means that people will decide to configure their relationships in diverse ways also. It's all good.

 

With all that said, I guess the most accurate statement I can make is that poly is natural for many people. I contend it's natural for most people, but the real point I want to make is that it's most certainly just as natural as monogamy is and perhaps, if social conditioning weren't a factor, might indeed by the more prevalent form of how we do relationships.

So while I don't think of myself being polyamorous as an orientation, I do embrace the notion that my poly life is indeed a natural state. It's certainly more natural for me than monogamy, both in terms of my sexuality and how I bond with others.

 

Let me know your thoughts about this by posting a comment.

 

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NCSF Files Amicus Brief in Support of Consensual Nonmonogamy 

 

Washington D.C. - NCSF has filed an amicus brief in a military case involving a marine who engaged in a consensual threesome and because of that was convicted of adultery, attempted consensual sodomy and indecent conduct, a "crime" based solely on undefined sexual conduct inconsistent with "common propriety."

 

In its brief, NCSF points out that military law is out of sync with U.S. Constitutional law and societal mores, especially when it comes to consensual sexual behaviors. Dick Cunningham, NCSF's Legal Counsel who prepared and filed the brief, said, "This is an important case in which we have challenged ways in which courts have criminalized consensual sexual conduct in what we regard as direct violation of the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark sexual freedom decision in Lawrence v. Texas."

 

Lawrence held that non-injurious consensual sex among adults cannot be criminally prosecuted, and that moral disapproval is not a sufficient justification for a criminal law.  In this case, the military court used a spurious "public sex" argument to evade the Lawrence ruling.

 

Filing legal briefs is an important part of NCSF's mission in its attempts to decriminalize consensual adult sexual behavior.  NCSF awaits the decision of the military court on whether its amicus brief will be accepted.  To view NCSF's brief and case legal documents on this case, visit https://ncsfreedom.org/who-we-are/about-ncsf/item/715.html

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Return to Top

 

 
Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
4th Quarter, 2013

In this issue

Happy New Year!

NCSF's Consent Violations Survey

2014 Annual Meeting

Meet Your Board

Sexual Freedom in the News

An Obituary for Leigha Fleming

Representing on FetLife


Happy New Year!
 
From all of us at the NCSF we hope you had a wonderful holiday season and your new year is already great.
 
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Coming Soon! NCSF's Consent Violations Survey

 

January 2014 is the big launch of NCSF's Consent Violations Survey. We need everyone to take this survey even if you've never had a consent violation.

 

We're also gathering important demographic info on your power exchange and sexual identities, whether you are "out" about being kinky, and what level of participation you have in BDSM groups and online communities.

 

It will take as little as 5 minutes to complete, and up to 20 minutes if you provide details of consent violations or accusations. This information will be used in NCSF's advocacy efforts with law enforcement, victim services and health care professionals.

 

This survey is anonymous and your privacy is guaranteed by Survey Monkey, a secured survey hosting website. NCSF will not have access to any identifying information about the participants.

 

Look for the link to the Consent Violations Survey soon!

 

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2014 Annual Meeting in Music City!
 
The Annual NCSF Coalition Partner will be held in Nashville, Tennessee on March 15-16, 2014. Plan on coming in early. Our hosts will be offering free transport to and from the hotel to the airport and are giving all CP representatives, staff and board members free entry to the local Kink Community Center (The Mark) for both Friday and Saturday night events! Do you need concierge or visit planning assistance? Do you need guidance for special dietary concerns? Just let us know. 
 
2014 promises to be a landmark year for the NCSF, we look forward to you coming and helping us plan. See you in Nashville! 
 
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Meet Your Board! New  Member: Devin MacLachlan 
 
The NCSF appointed our newest member in October. Please welcome Devin!

Do you have a history of activism and community involvement? 
 
My community involvement goes back to when I was in school in San Franscisco.  For two years I was on the South of Market Bare Chest Calendar which raised money for the AIDS Emergency Fund.  At that time 90% of all money raised went to clients.  Most recently I was the President and Executive Producer of Folsom Street East in New York City from 2008-2012.  FSE is a 501 (c)3 that raises funds for other LGBT and Kink causes.  NSCF has been a beneficiary of Folsom Street East since it started.  Before running FSE I was the last President of GMSMA (Gay Male SM Activists) in New York City.  A Working with other organizations like The NY Anti Violence Project and The Center in NYC GMSMA worked on educating the community about the difference between consensual SM play and abuse as well as holding classes on various techniques in BDSM play and community activism.

What specialties do you bring to the board? 

One of my specialties is building processes and growing community.  To be able to reach out between groups and organization connecting people and helping all achieve their goals.  We as a Kink/Fetish Community are bigger than any one person, one group, or type of sexuality.  We don't all have to act the same way or believe the same things but mutual respect and a willingness to help each other binds us together and makes us stronger.

What inspired you to become involved in NCSF?

After supporting NCSF for many years in other ways having the opportunity to join the board was a logical step.  Having the freedom to be who you are has always been a critical issue for me.  From the Freedom to Marry to the Freedom to express yourself in public or in private are basic rights we should be able to enjoy.   Limiting those rights diminishes all of us.
 
On more of a personal note, I have been in an 8 year relationship with my now husband Bruce.  We were married in NYC in October of 2011 after same sex marriage was passed in the state of New York.  Currently we reside in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  Since moving to Fort Lauderdale I have worked on "The Leather Masked Ball" a benefit for The Leather Archives and Museum as well as The Pet Project and Gilda's Closet.  I also have been working with The South Florida Minotaurs and looking forward to becoming a full member in the near future.  

You can contact Devin via email at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 

 


 Sexual Freedom Stories in the News 

 

The national (and international) news is buzzing with stories relating to sexual freedom.

 

The New York Times reported "A Utah Law Prohibiting Polygamy Is Weakened," one of our contributing writers Tamara Pincus was interviewed by the Huffington Post, and the Oxford Student discussed BDSM Consent among other things. 

 

Curious about what's going on in the world and what the NCSF pays particular attention to? You can check out our Blog anytime you'd like, it's always live at the NCSF website. We also send out regular Media Updates right to your inbox, to help you stay on top of things. Here's a link or find it below) if you haven't already signed up.  

 

Sharing is caring! You can forward our newsletters, media updates and press releases to your friends by clicking the link at the bottom of our mailings. Keep in the know with the NCSF.

 

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An Obituary for Leigha Fleming

 

Leigha Fleming passed away on December 19, 2013, after a longstanding illness. She was 43 years old. Leigha received a wound that became infected in August 2012, and suffered through numerous operations before she finally succumbed to the infection.

 

We would like to remember all the hard work Leigha did for NCSF as Chairman from 2008-2013, and as Incident Reporting & Response Director for nearly 12 years. At various times Leigha was also the Executive Director, Treasurer and Education Outreach Program Director since she started volunteering for NCSF in 2000.

 

Leigha personally helped thousands of individuals, groups and businesses who suffered discrimination and persecution due to their interest in BDSM, swinging and polyamory. Those people who she touched will never forget that she was there to help them when they needed it the most.

 

Leigha devoted a large part of her life to making sure that NCSF ran smoothly and that our volunteers and staff were doing their jobs. She took great pride in the fact that she played a key part in putting NCSF's infrastructure on a solid footing. The staff and Board members of NCSF will certainly feel the loss with Leigha gone.

 

As many people suffer the loss of someone considered a friend or even mentor, we hope to celebrate all the good that Leigha propagated in her lifetime, and we are grateful for the positive changes she so frequently inspired.

 

Leigha regretted at the end that she had little time left and no way to make restitution to NCSF. Her last words to NCSF were: "I am sorry."

 

Rest in Peace.

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Return to Top

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
2nd Quarter, 2013

In this issue

Come talk about BDSM and consent!

The DSM-5 Says Kink is OK!

Why Support or Join NCSF?

Representing on FetLife


 Come Talk about BDSM and consent!

NCSF's Consent Counts project is holding discussions around the country to gather your input on our Consent Statement so we can move forward to change laws and perceptions of BDSM. Kinky people still have significant legal, political and societal issues facing us. The majority of us fear the very real threat of being prosecuted or losing our jobs or families. To change the assault laws, we have to be able to tell the world what we think of consent. What is ethical consent? What are the gray areas? Are there things people shouldn't be able to consent to in a BDSM context?

 

If you would like your group like to hold a Consent Statement workshop in your area, please contact  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  to get the Consent Counts discussion guide.

 

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The DSM-5 Says Kink is OK!

 

The American Psychiatric Association has depathologized kinky sex - including cross-dressing, fetishes, and BDSM - in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). Now the paraphilias are considered to be "unusual sexual interests," while those who have sex with children or people who haven't consented, or who deliberately cause harm to themselves or others, may be diagnosed with a Paraphilic Disorder.

 

"The APA has made it clear that being kinky is not a mental disorder," says Susan Wright, Spokesperson for NCSF. "That means people no longer have to fear being diagnosed as mentally ill just because they belong to a BDSM group. We've already seen the impact -NCSF immediately saw a sharp rise in the success rate of child custody cases for kinky parents after the proposed DSM-5 criteria was released three years ago."

 

NCSF would like to thank everyone who participated in signing our DSM Revision Petition and for telling the APA about their own stories of discrimination and persecution. NCSFalso thanks every member of the APA Paraphilias Subworkgroup for responding to our concerns, and drawing a hard line between consensual adult kinky sex and those who willfully engage in nonconsensual or harmful activities.

 

NCSF is proud to build on the work of kink-aware professionals who have come before us, including Race Bannon and Guy Baldwin, who helped make seminal changes in the DSM-IV in 1994.

 

The following are some statements about the various paraphilias in the DSM-5. Although highly clinical in language, they show the APA's intent to not demand treatment for healthy consenting adult sexual expression:

 

 "A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention." p. 686

 

"In contrast, if they declare no distress, exemplified by anxiety, obsessions, guilt or shame, about these paraphilic impulses, and are not hampered by them in pursuing other personal goals, they could be ascertained as having masochistic sexual interest but should not be diagnosed with a sexual masochism disorder." p. 694

 

"Many individuals who self-identify as fetishist practitioners do not necessarily report clinical impairment in association with their fetish-associated behaviors. Such individuals could be considered as having a fetish but not fetishistic disorder." p. 701

 

"Clinical assessment of distress or impairment, like clinical assessment of transvestic sexual arousal, is usually dependent on the individual's self-report." p. 703   

 

To support NCSF, go to www.ncsfreedom.org. NCSF relies entirely on your donations toadvance the rights of consenting adults and to do advocacy like our DSM Revision Project. Please donate now!

 

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Why Support or Join NCSF?

 

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (often referred to as NCSF) is committed to creating a political, legal and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights for consenting adults who engage in alternative sexual and relationship expressions. But why should the BDSM, leather, fetish, swing and polyamory communities that are the focus of NCSF's efforts, and their friends and allies, support our work? Good question.

 

Perhaps the best way to demonstrate the importance of supporting, joining or otherwise empowering the work that NCSF does is to clearly lay out some of the many services we offer, initiatives we've undertaken and informative collateral that we offer.

 

Our History

NCSF was formed in 1997 by a small group led by Susan Wright under the auspices of the New York SM Activists. The goal was to fight for sexual freedom and privacy rights for all adults who engage in safe, sane and consensual behavior.

 

The first five organizations who joined reflected our desire to be a nationwide organization: National Leather Association-International; Gay Male S/M Activists; The Eulenspiegel Society; Black Rose; and Society of Janus.

 

Today, NCSF has over 100 Coalition Partners who elect the board that runs NCSF and help establish our goals at the annual Coalition Partner meeting. Coalition Partners are groups and businesses who serve BDSM/leather/fetish, swing and polyamory practitioners and also support NCSF by holding an annual fundraiser. NCSF also has over 100 Supporting Members - groups and businesses that support NCSF.

 

Over the years, NCSF has formed alliances with other organizations that defend sexual freedom rights: Free Speech Coalition, the ACLU, American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the Gay and Lesbian Activist Alliance, among others.

 

NCSF is the preeminent organization with a mission to improve the lives of those who consider themselves practitioners or community members among those who pursue BDSM/leather/fetish or swing sexualities or engage in polyamorous relationships.

 

What We Do

NCSF does many things to advance the rights of those who engage in consensual BDSM/leather/fetish, swing and polyamory lives. The best way to get a good sense of the full range of activities, projects and services that NCSF offers is to view the following sections that explain in some detail what NCSF has been up to lately.

 

Consent Counts

NCSF took over leadership in the nationwide Consent Counts project working to decriminalize BDSM and create a database of relevant state laws.

 

The Consent Counts project involves the BDSM communities in a nationwide education and activism program coordinated and led by NCSF. This multifaceted campaign includes a comprehensive analysis of current laws and court decisions, the development of legal arguments for changing the laws, participating in court cases, and ultimately, through lobbying, education and grass-roots activism, changing state laws and the way the public and the courts view BDSM.

 

An important element of the project is an Educational Outreach Program (EOP) to educate our own communities about the current state of the law and the efforts NCSF is undertaking to involve those communities in our strategic planning process and the development of "best practices" by which we can protect ourselves and facilitate change.

 

To ensure that the work NCSF is doing as part of Consent Counts is based on the best information possible, An Internet survey was undertaken by NCSF gauge respondents' views on consent in a BDSM context. There were a total of 5,667 respondents and the results guide the Consent Counts project and were utilized in developing the draft of the NCSF Consent Statement. This is an official statement presented as a discussion of the ethical and legal concepts of consent that need to be considered in the practice of BDSM activities and in relationships based on BDSM activities. It reflects both the extensive study by NCSF of the state of the law in the U.S. and the results of NCSF's Consent Counts Survey. This Statement is intended for both BDSM practitioners and the general public.

 

Incident Reporting and Response

NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response (IRR) was created to provide assistance to individuals and groups within the alternative sexual expression communities. If someone engaged in BDSM, fetish, swing or polyamory practices is being persecuted or discriminated against because of it, we encourage them to contact NCSF's IRR program. We may also be able to assist if a group or business is being harassed by religious political extremists or if they need assistance doing outreach to their local law enforcement.

 

NCSF's IRR program uses three primary criteria for taking a case:

  • The issue must openly, directly, and specifically relate to BDSM, swing or poly activities between consenting adults. In other words, the problems faced must relate to or be caused from involvement in BDSM, swing or poly, without question.
  • The issue must be one whose outcome or precedent could affect not just the individual filing the complaint, but potentially a significant number of people with the same or similar problem.
  • The incident needs to have a reasonable chance of a successful resolution; usually indicating that the individual filing has not also been found guilty of a crime other than behaviors currently considered illegal relating to BDSM, swing or poly.

Our IRR program may be able to assist with city and county mediation (zoning, licensing, and so on), custody and divorce information, employee and personnel issues, kink-aware professional referrals, criminal assistance, domestic violence assistance, and assisting when events are attacked (working with police, media, health departments, and so on).

 

Due to limited resources NCSF is only able to take a fraction of the cases that come to us. Many of the complaints we receive do not meet all of the above criteria. Even under the best circumstances, NCSF can only help a small percentage of those who merit it. All of our work is done by volunteers and we accept no payment for our services.

 

Kink Aware Professionals

The Kink Aware Professionals Directory (often referred to as KAP) offers the alternative sexualities and relationship communities referrals to psychotherapy, medical, legal and other professionals who are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality and relationships.

 

While NCSF cannot endorse or recommend these professionals, each professional listed has volunteered to be available for referral to people involved in kinky sexuality (leather, BDSM, fetish, and so on), polyamory, swinging, or publicly offers their services to that client population.

 

Resource Library

NCSF compiles a wide array of educational and informational materials on a variety of topics. We organize them in our online Resource Library for easy and free access to the public. Categories include Activist Resources, Consent Counts resources, DSM Resources, Educational Outreach Program Presentations and Publications, Kink Aware Professionals (for both professionals and those seeking assistance), Media Outreach Resources, NCSF Publicity Materials, Recommended Reading, Statistics and Surveys, and What is SM? Check out the amazing array of resources available to you for free from NCSF.

Amid the categories of resources already mentioned you'll find many other useful documents for groups and event producers that assist in specific ways such as membership forms for social groups or private clubs, non-disclosure agreements, independent contractors agreements, employee work environment agreements, model release agreements, event/play space rules, recommendations for event planning, hotel negotiations manual, and a statement for hotel personnel when a hotel is attacked.

 

Educational Outreach

One of the missions of the NCSF Foundation and its Education Outreach Program (EOP) is to provide members of the BDSM/Leather/Fetish, swing and polyamory communities educational information concerning relevant legal, medical and other issues. We also provide education, as appropriate, to law enforcement, care providers, and other authorities about alternative sexuality, and to assist and support the outreach and education efforts of local communities.

 

As part of EOP, NCSF works with District Attorneys and prosecutors to educate them with the intent to minimize discriminatory prosecutions, offers workshops by trained staff on a wide variety of topics, publishes white papers for professionals and members of the various communities, offers educational brochures and handouts, and conducts surveys on our community and publishes those results for others to utilize.

 

Media Outreach Program Media Training, News and Information

Through our Media Outreach Program NCSF does media advocacy for the millions of Americans who suffer discrimination and persecution because of their normal interest in some form of alternative sexual expression, such as BDSM, fetishes, polyamory, and swinging. A great deal of the bigotry against sexual minorities occurs because of a lack of information and the resulting negative depiction by the media. We offer resources for both the media and the alternative sexual expression communities.

 

NCSF also offers assistance to organizations and event producers by helping them with press releases, intervention during a media crisis, media spokesperson representation, media training and ongoing support, and suggested sound bites and interview tips.

In addition to our Media Outreach and Training Programs, NCSF offers news and information to our constituency through a variety of communication mechanisms.

  • Blog - News and information items are posted to our blog on a regular basis. Sometimes posts are originally authored articles and sometimes they are media updates which are a sampling of recent stories printed in U.S. newspapers, magazines, and selected websites. These stories contain significant mentions of BDSM/leather/fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics and may be positive, negative, or anywhere in between.

  • In The News - Learn how NCSF is impacting lives for the better.

  • NCSF Newsletter - NCSF regularly publishes a free newsletter to which anyone can subscribe.

  • Press Releases - When NCSF undertakes an important project, gets involved in important issues, or otherwise wants its constituency and the world at large to know about something, we issue press releases.

  • Action Alerts - When NCSF feels quick action is necessary by the public they serve, we issue Action Alerts outlining the action we hope people will take and why.
  • NCSF also recognizes excellence in journalism reporting through our Sex Positive Journalism Awards (also known as "The Sexies").
  • Legal Information and Assistance - When appropriate, NCSF may offer referrals to specific attorneys, the filing of amicus briefs, lobbying assistance, assistance with certain pertinent legislative initiatives, and legal background support through such efforts are our SM/Abuse Statement and our Consent Counts project.
 

DSM Revision Project

NCSF has successfully petitioned the American Psychiatric Association, resulting in the depathologizing of consensual BDSM in the latest Diagnostic & Statistics Manual (DSM). This helps not only those seeking psychotherapy treatment by not having their sexuality called into question during therapy, but also improves community members' legal standing in certain court cases when the DSM has been used as evidence.

 

When the American Psychiatric Association formed their working committees to revise its most recent version of the DSM, the definitive resource on the diagnostic criteria for all mental disorders, NCSF became involved. Past statements within the DSM paraphilias criteria are contradicted by scientific evidence and therefore NCSF concluded that the interpretation of the paraphilias criteria had been not based on science. These often politically motivated interpretations subject BDSM practitioners, fetishists and cross-dressers to bias, discrimination and social sanctions without any scientific basis. We called on the American Psychiatric Association to remove or drastically restructure the paraphilias section in the DSM which resulted in some considerable success.

 

BDSM Survey

The 2008 Survey of Violence & Discrimination Against Sexual Minorities found significant discrimination and persecution against BDSM practitioners due to the social stigma attached to their sexual behavior. With over 3,000 respondents, 37.5% indicated that they had either been discriminated against or experienced some form of harassment or violence.

The survey addresses the gap in current knowledge by reporting data on the prevalence of violence and discrimination against BDSM and polyamory practitioners. The persecution of these individuals is conceptualized as a manifestation of sexual stigma, that is, society's negative regard for any non- heterosexual behavior, identity, relationship, or community.

 

NCSF Materials

NCSF provides brochures and other NCSF materials for dissemination at events or to be used by organizations, clubs and other groups. A great example of such material is the Consent Counts Discussion Guide. The Consent Counts Discussion Guide offers groups a structured and organized way to foster discussion in their local alternative sexualities communities about the topic of consent. Visit our website to view the various materials we can offer.

 

More Information and Contacting NCSF

NCSF maintains a robust website on which you'll find lots of great information as well how to contact us. On our website we also include an event calendar listing NCSF and Coalition Partners events. We have a wide array of social media venues that keep our constituency and the public at large informed about NCSF and related news and information. We encourage people to bookmark our website and to keep informed about NCSF and related news and information through our social media platforms.

 

 

Through the use of social media and virtual communications, NCSF provides its members, partners and the general public continuous updates regarding news, legislation, trends and information of interest to the BDSM, leather, kink, swing and poly communities.

 

Supporting NCSF

People and organizations can support NCSF in a number of ways. By supporting NCSF, you help keep our important programs and services alive. NCSF operates through the financial contributions and volunteer efforts of wonderful people around the nation and world.

 

People and organizations can join NCSF as members at one of three levels of membership:

  • Coalition Partners - Our highest level of membership. Coalition Partners support NCSF through annual membership fees plus proceeds of an annual fundraiser for the benefit of NCSF.

  • Supporting Members - Individuals or organizations support NCSF with an annual membership fee.

  • Individual Members - Individual constituents hold membership in NCSF by contributing annual membership dues.
  • For organizations that support NCSF we offer the option to place our NCSF logo on your website, utilize NCSF ads that can be downloaded and used, include your name on our website as a supporting organization or business, and garner special recognition for our Coalition Partners.
  • Donations - In addition to memberships, NCSF can always use donations. NCSF is comprised of two separate corporate entities - the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the NCSF Foundation. Although both the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the NCSF Foundation are part of the same overall organization, it is necessary to have two separate organizations to enable us to do the broad range of work we do. Supporters of NCSF can choose to make a contribution to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, the NCSF Foundation, or both. A contribution to either organization will be used to support and promote the NCSF mission. Donors who wish to make a tax-deductible gift can do so by contributing to the NCSF Foundation. Many donors choose to make membership gifts in support of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom as well as tax-deductible gifts to the NCSF Foundation.
  • Volunteer - We encourage people to consider donating one of their most important assets to NCSF - their time. Whether someone wants to work behind the scenes or take a more public role, we have a project just right for them. There are important tasks to be done and we always need help to make it all happen.

Shop NCSF

NCSF has a number of branded products that you can purchase. Profits from the sale of these products go directly to work helping NCSF do the important work we do. 

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
1st Quarter, 2013

In this issue

NCSF's Coalition Partners Join Together for Consent Summit

Meet the Board

NCSF presents at Yale Law School's RebLaw

NCSF Launches Fire Recovery Fund

Testing the Waters

Coalition Corner

Representing on FetLife


NCSF's Coalition Partners Join Together for Consent Summit

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partner meeting in Phoenix, Arizona from February 8-10, 2013. The Consent Summit took place Friday evening, and Coalition Partners were able to participate via streaming video to give their input on the new Consent Statement. Go to www.ncsfreedom.org to see the Consent Statement and comment on it.

"The Consent Statement is now launched to the BDSM-leather-Fetish communities for input until July 1st," says Judy Guerin, Director of Consent Counts. "This statement outlines the current legal climate in regards to BDSM practices, and describes the ethical responsibilities of kinky people, as well. The Consent Statement will be used to change assault laws so that consensual BDSM won't be mistaken for assault."

One focus of the weekend was how to move forward now that a fire has destroyed the NCSF office. An emergency fund drive is underway to raise money to replace what was lost in the fire. Please help us reach our goal! 

https://www.wepay.com/donations/ncsf-fire-recovery-fund 

The new board of directors voted in Kevin Carlson as Chairman, Mark Richards as Secretary, and John Baku as Treasurer. The CPs also heard reports on NCSF projects and some of the stats include:

Incident Reporting and Response received nearly 500 calls for help
The Kink Aware Professionals list is up to nearly 1,200 professionals
The Media Outreach Project gave over 60 interviews
Over 600 NCSF Facebook page members and nearly 5,000 twitter followers
98 Coalition Partners!

Friday evening's Pizza Meet & Greet was sponsored by the AZ TNG, while lunch Saturday was sponsored by FetLife and lunch on Sunday at the APEX BBQ was sponsored by AZ Men of Leather. NCSF thanks APEX for welcoming CP representatives, NCSF board members and staff to their APEX Dungeon Party on Saturday night, and at their Sunday afternoon BBQ and NCSF Meet & Greet. NCSF also thanks Kelly Beaton, Master Bleu Sadist, slave alena girl, and Karen for volunteering and helping out in all sorts of necessary ways at the meeting!

NCSF helps you, so please help us in our time of need! Support us by becoming a member or donating today!

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Meet the Board

After our elections at the annual meeting and an executive session that included appointing members, the Board of NCSF currently consists of:

Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID
Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY
John Baku - Treasurer - Vancouver, BC
Race Bannon - San Francisco, CA
Laura Carlson - Boise, ID
Jim Fleckenstein - Manassas, VA
Leigha Fleming - Fort Worth, TX
Vivienne Kramer - San Diego, CA 
Mercury - Nashville, TN
Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
Julian Wolf - Albuquerque, NM 
Susan Wright - Phoenix, AZ 

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NCSF presents at Yale Law School's RebLaw (Rebellious Lawyering) Conference

by Judy 

 Over 150 attendees packed the room at Yale Law School's 19th annual RebLaw (Rebellious Lawyering) Conference, the nation's largest student-run public interest conference, for a panel discussion which included NCSF.  The discussion, "Safe Words?  Legal Restrictions on Consent and Radical Sex" was conducted by three panelists:  Judy Guerin, NCSF's Consent Count's Director, Ignacio Rivera, a two-spirit gender fluid kinkster whose work focuses on queer, trans, kink and sexual liberation issues within a race/class dynamic and Alexis Agathocieous, a staff attorney at the Center for Constitutional Rights who has worked on a successful case fighting a Louisiana law that required sex workers to register in the state's sex offender database.  The panel was facilitated by Yale Law students Adrien A. Weibgen and Ryan Richard Thoreson.

The discussion was heavily focused on the issue of consent in the context of BDSM relationships and prosecution of BDSM as both assault and, more recently, under Federal trafficking laws.  A connection between prosecution of sex workers and BDSM practitioners under Federal trafficking laws was discussed.  The discussion also included a focus on the religious political extremists strategy to discredit the GLBTQ movement by tying it to practitioners of alternative sexuality.  The fact that sodomy laws, although overturned by the 2003 Lawrence v. Texasdecision, as well as other antiquated sex laws, are still on the books in many states and are still being used to prosecute people was highlighted.  NCSF introduced its recent statement on consent and its summary of the legal situation related to BDSM assault prosecutions, "Consent and BDSM:  The State of the Law", as well as some of its recent survey results and examples of BDSM prosecutions for consensual BDSM.

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NCSF Launches Fire Recovery Fund

The NCSF office in Baltimore, MD, was destroyed in a fire a few weeks ago. We've lost everything: computer, office supplies and furnishings, tee shirts, and all of our stored printed literature are gone. The Board of Directors along with our Coalition Partners and dedicated volunteers are working hard to recover from this tragedy, but much of that recovery takes money.

As part of the recovery effort, NCSF has launched the NCSF Fire Recovery Fund campaign with a goal of raising $20,000 to help us get back up and running so that we can continue to do the important work we do for the BDSM-leather-fetish, swing and polyamory communities.

We are asking anyone who is able to donate to the NCSF Fire Recovery Fund drive:

 https://www.wepay.com/donations/ncsf-fire-recovery-fund 

 Donations are tax deductible!

And whether you are able to donate or not, we would appreciate you getting the word out about the fundraising campaign. If you visit the fund donation page linked to above, you'll see icons that allow you to share the page on Facebook, Google+, Twitter and through email. Please share with your network and encourage them to donate.

 
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Testing the Waters....
by Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn
 
"Testing the Waters" is a column that will take an in-depth look at different parts and pieces of the NCSF.  It is designed to let you 'test the water' so you can get a feel for how things work, what they mean, and how you fit in.Being a Coalition Partner:  More than a Fundraiser 

Some organizations have been NCSF Coalition Partners for as long as the NCSF has been around, and many of them will say:  being a CP means holding a fundraiser.


Yes, and then, no.


The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom exists just as it says - as a coalition of people and organizations who believe in sexual freedom for everyone.  Our Coalition Partners come to the organization charged to do really, just two things - to fundraise and more importantly - to participate.


The range of programs and services at the NCSF evolved as people just like you showed they were needed.  When parties get busted, or people come out to picket events, contacting the NCSF is often the first phone call that gets made.  When individuals in crisis call, NCSF responders are often the first understanding and sympathetic voice the caller will hear.  We continued to maintain the Kink Aware Professionals list after founder Race Bannon was looking for another entity to take over because our partners spoke up and said it was important to keep the service going.


It is the 'speaking out' that is the most important function of a Coalition Partner.  The NCSF is only as good as our partners' ability to bring to the table the real needs of our community.  Protecting and advancing our sexual freedom will mean many different things to different Coalition Partners.  Remember, the NCSF advocates for Swing and Polyamory communities as well as the BDSM/Kink communities.  That diversity is why Consent Counts is at the very core of work being done by the NCSF.  It matters to everyone.  


At the past Coalition Partners meeting, someone referred to "50 Shades of Grey" as the BDSM/Kink communities' "Stonewall".  Stonewall was a bar in New York where gay men first fought back from police oppression and aggression.  It is often pointed to as the event that started the GLBT rights movement.  While often these types of defining events have roots in fighting back, they don't all have to be negative.  The overwhelming world interest in "50 Shades of Grey" threw back the shroud that has hovered around BDSM practices for centuries.  It drew the interest of the world because it blazed a light on sexual practices that have been considered taboo.  If it has opened the door to less oppression, greater inclusion, fewer custody cases, and less police and legal interaction in the BDSM community - then indeed - "50 Shades of Grey" IS our Stonewall --- and we can feel blessed that it lacked the violence.


Coalition Partners bring this level of community thinking to a single table.  They bring concerns, problems and opportunities for all of us to consider as we safeguard our sexual freedom.  The depth and breadth of the NCSF sits in the lap of every Coalition Partner.  When you talk about the issues, the problems, and the services needed to keep your local community vibrant, risk averse, and cohesive, realize that when you advance those thoughts to the NCSF through a Coalition Partner, you have helped contribute to a larger network that can make a difference.  That is the real gift that Coalition Partners bring to the NCSF...as well as that annual fundraiser.

 

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Coalition Corner  

Thank you to all the Coalition Partners and Coalition Partner Representatives that attended our Annual Meeting last month! 
FIST
Kevin Carlson
New Mexico Leather League
James Huesmann
New England Leather Alliance
MOB New England
STL3
NOBLE
CPI/The Mark
Judy Guerin-Cunningham
MSDB
Rob and Leenie
International Ms Leather
Fetlife
NLA-Dallas
 
We also want to thank everyone who attended virtually and those who continue to support us across the country. 
Would you like to have your organization featured? Please contact Julian via   This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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Why You Should Care

Because your sexual expression...
  • Can result in discrimination, prosecution, and even violence against you
  • Can cause you to lose your children
  • Can cause you to lose your job or your income
  • Can lead you into a maze of antiquated laws and regulations you never even knew existed
  • Is arbitrarily criminalized by state and local authorities
  • Is used by the radical right to marginalize minority groups
  • Can result in the invasion of your privacy by the government, both within your own home or in educational, social and group environments 

How You Can Help

    • Work to change antiquated laws
    • Work to change the social climate about sexual issues
    • Promote acceptance of safe, sane, and consensual alternative sexual practices among consenting adults
    • Oppose censorship of consensual sexual expression
    • Fight for freedom of academic expression about sexual issues
    • Help communities and individuals facing the threat of prosecution or legal action
    • Support the right of adults to express their sexuality, gender identity and orientation freely and openly without fear
    • Learn more about NCSF

Why You Should Care

Because your sexual expression...
  • Can result in discrimination, prosecution, and even violence against you
  • Can cause you to lose your children
  • Can cause you to lose your job or your income
  • Can lead you into a maze of antiquated laws and regulations you never even knew existed
  • Is arbitrarily criminalized by state and local authorities
  • Is used by the radical right to marginalize minority groups
  • Can result in the invasion of your privacy by the government, both within your own home or in educational, social and group environments