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NCSF Newsletter
1st Quarter, 2015
edited by Julian Wolf

In this issue

Mid-Atlantic Region Hosts the Coalition Partner Meeting

NCSF Thanks!

Daily Flogger Satire

Dommes of the DC Sub Club Do it Again!

Guest Blog: Disclosure and Outness as a Therapist

Incident Reporting & Response

Media Updates

Representing on FetLife

 


The Mid-Atlantic Region hosts NCSF's Coalition Partners Annual Meeting

 

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partners meeting in Baltimore, MD from March 20-22. The Coalition Partners and Board Members focused on the goals for NCSF's programs moving forward, along with discussing the annual reports, voting in the Board of Directors and approving the budget.  

 

"It's been an inspiring year to see the Board and Staff of NCSF come together and work hard to make this a better organization," says Chairman Kevin Carlson. "Looking to the future was important for us at this Annual Meeting, as we laid out the path for what our coalition can become and how we can better serve our communities."

 

For the complete annual reports and financials, go to: http://bit.ly/1Cs6NXsSome of our successes over the past year include:

 

  • Financial transparency is maintained by monthly reports to the Board with the necessary supporting documentation such as bank statements.
  • The American Law Institute invited NCSF to submit recommendations to the Model Penal Code project related to rape, sexual assault, etc. and will continue to involve NCSF in its work to improve the Model Penal Code and judicial interpretations.
  • NCSF filed two appellate briefs in the Miles case, a military case involving a threesome, with arguments based on the 2003 Lawrence decision by the U.S. Supreme Court.
  • The NCSF membership and fundraising database is now being powered by Wild Apricot, with payment via PayPal optional.
  • 10,000 palm cards were printed featuring Consent, the Law, Fun Facts and BDSM Resources that were distributed by kink groups around the U.S. during the Fifty Shades of Greymovie launch (palm cards are currently in second printing).
  • Over 1,200 people accessed the Kink Aware Professionals list in 2014.
  • 184 people, groups and businesses received help from NCSF in fighting discrimination in 2014.
  • The Education Outreach Project and Consent Counts Project gave 36 presentations.The Media Outreach Project gave 32 interviews in 2014, and another 27 in the first quarter of 2015 thanks to the "50 Shades of NCSF" media blast.

 

NCSF would like to thank Judy Guerin (Consent Counts Director), Dick Cunningham (NCSF Legal Counsel), and Ashlie Deal (NCSF Advocate), for their planning and assistance during the annual meeting. NCSF would also like to thank Marc Ominsky for presenting with Ashlie and Susan Wright at the Baltimore PlayHouse on Sunday afternoon on Consent Violations and Liability.

 

The DC Sub Club and the DC Dommes hosted a VIP Reception and play party at Dick and Judy's house on Saturday evening so the NCSF Board Members and staff could meet local community members. Thanks to the attendees, and Dick and Judy for matching donations, a total of $5,300 was raised! NCSF thanks you for your support!

 

The new NCSF Board of Directors consists of:

 

Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID

Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY

Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - NCSF Treasurer - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN

Jim Fleckenstein - NCSF Foundation Treasurer - Manassas, VA

Laura Carlson - Education Outreach Director - Boise, ID

Barak (Drew Gardinier) - CP Liaison - Columbus, OH

Jason - Membership Director - St. Louis, MO

Keira Harris - Volunteer Director - New Orleans, LA

Devin MacLachlan - Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Mercury - Literature Director - Nashville, TN

Julian Wolf - Newsletter Director - Albuquerque, NM

Susan Wright - Media and Incident Reporting & Response Director - Phoenix, AZ

 

NCSF looks forward to seeing you on the West Coast for the 2016 Annual Coalition Partners Meeting.

Please support NCSF by becoming a member, volunteering or donating today! NCSF is here to help you, so please help us! www.ncsfreedom.org

 

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NCSF Thanks!

 

The DC Sub Club and the Dommes of the DC SubClub raised $5,300 for NCSF at their VIP reception and dungeon party held in March to coincide with the NCSF Annual Coalition Partner Meeting in Baltimore.

 

Folsom Street Events donated a $1,000 to NCSF as part of their 2014 National Community Grant program.

 

Coalition Partner Leather SINS donated $900 to the NCSF Foundation from their Kinky Kollege Spring Break event in March.

Coalition Partner AdventuresInSexuality.org in Columbus, Ohio, donated $440 to sponsor the printing of NCSF's wallet bust cards.

 

Coalition Partner MN Marketplace raised $183 at their February 21st Vicious Valentine Redux event.

 

The Atlanta PolyAmorous group raised $130 for NCSF on January 15th.

 

Coalition Partner Albany Power Exchange donated $110 to NCSF.

 

Coalition Partner The Knights of Leather in Minneapolis donated $100 to NCSF in January.

 

The Fraternal Members of The 15 Association in San Francisco donated $100 to NCSF in December 2014.

 

Thank you to all the new members who joined NCSF during our 50 Shades of NCSF membership drive!

 

Numbers count when we advocate for you, and the bigger we are, the harder our voice is to ignore. There is no other group that fights for kink and nonmonogamy like NCSF does. We help people in need, groups under siege, and businesses opposed by sex-negative bureaucracy.

 

We can't do it without your support. Thank you for joining NCSF!

 

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Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger

Researchers Discover "Sex Positive" Gene

 

HELSINKI, FINLAND

 

Researchers in Finland have discovered a new gene which they are calling "sex positivity." The breakthrough changes conventional thinking that the so-called "sex positive" movement was just a combination of horniness, self-righteousness, and the inability to keep one's opinions to oneself.

 

"Not true," says researcher Sven Anderson. "We found a completely separate gene. It often happens to be combined with the others, explaining why most of these people are completely insufferable to be around, but it is really its own thing."

 

Kitty Danger, 27, held a press conference to celebrate the finding. "We hope this brings the era of gene-shaming to an end."

 

- See more at: http://www.thedailyflogger.com/researchers-discover-sex-positive-gene/

 

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Dommes of the DC Sub Club Do It Again!

By Judy Guerin

 

The fabulous ladies of the DC Sub Club put together another fun VIP reception and dungeon party for the benefit of NCSF on Saturday March 22nd that raised over $5,300.  Every year, these ladies do fundraisers for NCSF and raise substantial funds.  Not only did the ladies help promote it and attend, Mistress Mei coordinated the house set-up and food preparation. Chef Voodoodoc8 donated the food and prepared a scrumptious dinner buffet and appetizers.  All had a great time.

 

nl q1 2015 p1

 

This event was scheduled in honor of NCSF's annual meeting, which was held the weekend of 3/20-3/22 near Baltimore.  The party was held at the home and dungeon of Judy Guerin, NCSF's Consent Counts Director and sponsored by the DC Sub Club.  The DC Sub Club holds a monthly "Dinner with Dommes" where male subs can meet dominant women in a social environment.  NCSF wants to thank all of the ladies:  Mistress Mei, Mistress Tyler, Mistress Lynn, Cherokee Rose, Ivory Mistress Jae, Ms. Seven and Mistress Max Rulz, as well as the DC Sub Club and chef Voodoodoc8.  We also want to thank the members of the DC Sub Club and others who made extra donations and made this event so successful.  Here are some pictures of the ladies enjoying themselves with Susan Wright and Judy Guerin of NCSF.  Per Mistress Mei, "These local pro dommes rock and are always ready to help NCSF."

 

nl q1 2015 p2

 

Each year these ladies also hold a formal dinner and dungeon party for the benefit of NCSF that raises over $4,000 annually.  8-10 of these ladies participate each year and seats at the table are auctioned off online for the corresponding number of submissive men.  This year's dinner is scheduled for July 11, so all of the submissive men in the DC and Baltimore metro area should start thinking about their bids so they don't miss out on this very fun event.

 

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Guest Blog: "Disclosure and Outness as a Therapist with Intersecting Atypical Identifications"

by Dulcinea Pitagora

 

Prior to starting my practice as a therapist, I was confronted with contradicting perspectives on the therapist's disclosure of personal information to their clients.  The prevailing thought behind this in the mental health field is that the therapeutic environment is not a place for therapists to disclose too much about themselves-therapy is about the client, not about the therapist, and disclosing personal information might distract clients from the therapeutic process for a variety of reasons.  Having said that, recent research has shown potential benefits in certain types of disclosure, particularly when the therapist is a member of a sexual minority group, and the client in question might feel safer with a therapist who shares their marginalized identification(s).

 

I have to say, it was validating and such a relief to hear this perspective echo my own.  The fact is, I was aligned with this approach to disclosure well before reading this research, having had the experience of searching for a therapist myself, and asking potential therapists to disclose their connection to and experience with BDSM.  Not that I wanted to know personal details about the therapist's sex life or partner status, but it was important to me to know that they had a working knowledge of my lifestyle, not only so they wouldn't judge or pathologize my preferences, but so I wouldn't waste time and money on educating them as I had with past therapists.

 

This is exactly why I'm out about the communities I work with and am a part of, and this is also exactly why I created ManhattanAlternative.com-a listing of providers in New York City who are openly affirmative to kink, poly, and LGBTQ communities and lifestyles. The last time I looked for a therapist for myself, I (successfully!) used NCSF's KAP listing to help direct my search. I know I'm not the only one who finds NCSF's work hugely inspiring, and I have to give a great amount of credit to NCSF for encouraging me to be out about my intersecting identifications, and motivating me to create a diverse network of affirming providers in the city where I live and practice.

 

I feel an obligation to the individuals I work with to be out about my identifications, not only because it might help them feel safer and more comfortable in talking to me, but because it sets the precedent that there is nothing wrong with feeling good about having an atypical identification and owning who you are.  It is important to note that being out in this way is a privilege that not everyone has.  Many people who are kinky, poly, or have a non-binary sexual orientation or gender identification (or intersections thereof) work and live in environments that could be dangerous if they weren't closeted.  Being out is definitely an individual decision, and depends on social context and individual readiness.  I am of the mindset that the more of us who can be out the better, because it will slowly help those who can't be by chipping away at pathologizing public perceptions and stigmatization.

 

My goals in creating Manhattan Alternative are to make it easier for people who have been wanting to reach out for support but have been reluctant to, or haven't been able to find someone they feel comfortable talking to, and offer support to those with intersecting marginalized identities (e.g., kinky and poly; kinky and gender-nonconforming; poly and gender-nonconforming; kinky, poly, and queer; etc).  Another goal is to encourage providers with practical knowledge of these communities to offer support by being out about their knowledge of and connection to these communities.  Especially in the wake of the 50 Shades franchise, many providers are advertising that they are kink- or alt lifestyle-friendly, and while I don't doubt many of them are affirming, they may not have the practical knowledge or experience that Manhattan Alternativeproviders emphasize.

 

My hope is to create a network of providers that is as inclusive and diverse as possible, which is why I'm putting a call out to therapists and health care professionals of varying races, ethnicities, abilities, gender expressions, and sexual orientations-particularly those with an intersection of identifications-to fill out the Manhattan Alternative Provider Application Form if they are interested in being listed as a kink/poly/trans/LGBQ-affirmative provider.

 

Dulcinea Pitagora, MA, LMSW

Manhattan Alternative Founder

ManhattanAlternative.com

 

Guest Blogs do not represent NCSF but are the opinion of the blogger. NCSF provides space for activists to post their opinions in order to get feedback from the kink and nonmonogamous communities on the work they are doing and the information they are providing to the mainstream.

 

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Incident Reporting & Response - 1st Quarter 2015 report

By Susan Wright, Director of IRR

 

NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 54 requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in January, February and March. NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest. Here is a breakdown of the cases we assisted on in the first quarter of 2015:

 

Criminal

 

There were 18 requests for assistance with incidents involving criminal law. 12 of those requests were from survivors of a kink-related assault/sexual assault who needed assistance in connecting with kink-aware victim services, education of law enforcement, investigators and prosecutors. 5 were requests for kink-aware defense attorneys and expert witnesses knowledgeable about BDSM vs. abuse. The other incident involved obscenity law.

 

Professionals

 

13 professionals and organizations asked NCSF for information and resources to assist in them in providing their services to kinky clients. These included victim services, medical clinics, therapists, prosecutors and college professors. We also provided information and resources to 2 kink activists to assist in their training of professionals in their area.

 

Groups

 

There were 12 requests for help involving BDSM and swing groups. 6 groups asked for advice on banning members and dealing with consent violations. 4 groups asked for assistance in setting up a club and dealing with zoning. 2 groups needed assistance with reporters who wanted to attend one of their events.

 

Child Custody

 

There were 8 requests for help with child custody in which BDSM was brought in to contest custody. That is an increase from the 4th quarter of 2014 in which there were 6 requests for help with child custody. We assisted in family court cases in Virginia, Indiana, Ohio, Texas, Georgia, Arkansas and Canada.

 

Discrimination

 

There were 2 requests for help with kink-related discrimination. One person is being denied hospital visitation and the other needed help finding a kink-aware therapist in her area.

 

Civil law incidents

 

Only 1 request for help with a threatened outing, involving their FetLife profile.


If you need NCSF's help because of discrimination or to remove kink as a barrier to service, please contact our Incident Reporting & Response today! Email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

 

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Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Polyamory 101: What the Curious Need to Know from CafeMom

Swingers clubs limited by state lawmakers from The Tennessean

The Second Coming of Tom from Out Magazine

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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See our list of Coalition Partners at the NCSF website
 
Are you a CP Representative? Make sure we have your updated information by email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
 

Interested in a specific story or in writing an article?
email Julian:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
3rd Quarter, 2014
edited by Julian Wolf

In this issue

2014 Roundup

NCSF Thanks!

Incident Reporting & Response

Daily Flogger Satire

Guest Blog: Out To The Doctor?

Are You Ready for 50 Shades?

Media Updates

Representing on FetLife


NCSF's 2014 Roundup

 

      2014 has been a year of progress for NCSF and for people who are kinky and nonmonogamous. The national conversation about gay marriage, consent, and even Fifty Shades of Grey are transforming mainstream attitudes. The change in the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-5 stating that BDSM is a healthy form of sexual expression has also had a significant impact on both the courts and public opinion about kink.

 

Education Outreach Project

      The NCSF Board Members and presenters gave Education Outreach Project workshops and tabled at 36 events in 2014 (compared to 22 in 2013), with a focus on consent discussions, BDSM & the Law, and distributing literature such as Kink is Okay and Finding Kink Aware Medical Care.

      The groups and events where NCSF presented included: Arizona Men of Leather, Arizona Power Exchange, Atlanta Poly Weekend, BDSM Writers Con, Behind Closed Doors, Beyond The Love, CatalysCon East, Catalyst Art & Cultural Space, Center for Sex Positive Culture, CLAW, COPE, CPI/The Mark, Dark Con, Dark Odyssey Winter Fire, Dark Odyssey Surrender, Desert Dominion, DragonCon, Floating World, Folsom Street East, Future of Monogamy and Non-Monogamy, International Mr. Leather, Kinkfest, Leathermen's Discussion Group, MSDB Bizarre Bazaar, Paradise Unbound, Poly Living Conference, Polyamory Political Activism Conclave, Portland Leather Alliance, SMART, Society for Sex Therapy & Research 39th Annual Meeting, Southwest Leather Contest, Spanksgiving, Thunder in the Mountains, Up Your Alley - Dore Alley, Winter Wickedness, and the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit.

      NCSF also exhibited at the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) 47th Annual Conference on June 4-8th, in Monterey, California. NCSF helped organize a panel presentation on "Social Organizations and BDSM Communities," moderated by Neil Cannon, PhD, DST and Russell Stambaugh, PhD, DST. The panel was attended by 115 of the 550 participants, and raised over $4,000 for AASECT. The panelists were experienced and articulate kink organizers on the West Coast: Race Bannon, Janet Hardy, Demitri Moshanyii, Richard Sprott, Anna Randall, and Jim and Montaine who run a dungeon-themed B&B in Monterey. 

       Jim Fleckenstein was the lead presenter on "The Fountain of Youth! The Association of an Open Relationship Orientation with Health and Happiness in a Sample of Older Adults," a workshop discussing the key findings from the Loving More and NCSF internet survey, the largest-ever sample of self-identified polyamorists.  

      The NCSF booth in the Exhibit Hall gave away 50 free copies of What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory, courtesy of a grant by Alan of Polyamory in the News as well as brochures on NCSF's projects and programs. Nearly 150 copies of NCSF's new Kink is Okay! brochure were given away, describing the changes in the DSM-5 that depathologized BDSM.

 

Kink Aware Professionals

      Over 1,200 people accessed NCSF's Kink Aware Professionals database in 2014 to find a lawyer, therapist or other professional. Recognizing the need for more kink aware professionals in KAP, NCSF joined forces with GayLawNet, a free referral database of gay-friendly attorneys, which began offering a Kink Aware Professional category for their lawyers to self-identify as kink aware.

 

Incident Reporting & Response

      To assist in educating professionals, NCSF published What Professionals Need to Know About BDSM by Lauren Moore, Tamara Pincus & David Rodemaker. This pamphlet was written to help professionals meet culturally competent ethical standards in work with those of our underserved population.

      NCSF received 184 requests for assistance in 2014 through Incident Reporting & Response. 40% of IRR requests dealt with criminal issues. 20% were child custody/divorce. 14% were requests for information on kink and non-monogamy from professionals including: academics, social services, vanilla nonprofit organizations & events, authors, merchant services, and insurance brokers. 11% were group issues, primarily assisting in handling adversarial members, outreach to law enforcement, or managing negative media incidents.

 

Media

      NCSF launched our 50 Shades of NCSF campaign featuring four palm cards and a resource page. Two of the palm cards are geared toward vanilla people who may be interested in kink while the other two have information on consent and the law. These palm cards were sent to 68 groups for distribution during the upcoming launch of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie.

      In December, NCSF also broadcast a media kit through PR Newswire entitled "NCSF: Are you ready for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie?" that targeted reporters and offered story ideas about kink and non-monogamy. The PR was reposted on 137 websites, including Reuters and the Associated Press, and was viewed by over 1,000 journalists in the first 24 hours.

      Susan Wright gave 32 interviews in 2014 to reporters from mainstream media to blogs and podcasts. The 2014 interviews included: The NY Times, NY Magazine, Atlantic Monthly, CNN, Playboy, Bay Area Reporter, Slate, Jane XO, Alternet, andtwo Huffington Post Live appearances.

      Barak and Sheba of AdventuresinSexuality.org, a long-time Coalition Partner of NCSF, joined the media team and will be giving interviews on kink and non-monogamy. NCSF also published 15 Guest Blogs by experts in various fields, up from five Guest Blogs posted in 2013. Jsin created several podcast PSAs about NCSF tailored to specific niches - leathermen, pansexual and vanilla-ish - as well as promotional videos to accompany the 50 Shades of NCSF campaign.

 

Surveys

      NCSF ran two surveys in 2014: the Consent Violations Survey and the Mental Health Survey. The results of both will be available in early 2015. The Consent Violations Survey collected 4,600 responses and the results will be given to law enforcement, prosecutors, victim services and health care professionals to help them understand the experiences of kinky people and provide better quality service.

      The Mental Health Survey collected over 800 responses. NCSF is working with researchers at Sam Houston University's Department of Psychology and Philosophy who will ultimately compare our response set to two other sample populations - one college-aged and the other LGBT. 

 

Consent Counts

      The Consent Counts program continued its educational mission as well as providing Amicus ("friend of the court") Briefs in relevant legal cases. The Navy and Marine Corps Court of Criminal Appeals twice accepted NCSF's amicus brief in the case of Gregory T. Miles, Lance Corporal, U.S. Marine Corps. NCSF advised the court that prosecutors are avoiding the Supreme Court decision, made in Lawrence v. Texas, that moral judgment is not a basis for criminalizing consensual sexual conduct, and that consensual sex should only be criminalized if that conduct is injurious or goes against a valid societal interest. NCSF also argued that military law is out of sync with U.S. Constitutional law and societal mores, especially when it comes to consensual sexual behaviors.

 

Ombuds Committee

      As part of the revamping of NCSF's policies and procedures this year, the NCSF Board created the Ombuds Committee in June and appointed Desmond Ravenstone, James Huesmann and Bjorn Paulee. The Ombuds Committee handles complaints and concerns regarding the conduct of NCSF officers and staff, and the operations of NCSF institutions. The NCSF Ombuds Committee was established as an Advisory Committee, as per NCSF bylaws, to review coalition administration and activities, assuring ethical and effective fulfillment of NCSF's mission and goals. Board Member Fil Vocasek is the Board Liaison to the Ombuds Committee.

 

      NCSF thanks the groups, businesses and individuals who have donated and joined NCSF as members this year. Our staff, Board Members, Coalition Partners, Supporting Members and individual members all understand how important it is to have NCSF as a resource to help kinky and non-monogamous people. Please join NCSF today!

 

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NCSF Thanks!

Joseph Callahan donated $2,000 to the NCSF Foundation in December.


Adventures in Sexuality, a NCSF Coalition Partner, donated $500 at their COPE conference in October.

CPI/The Mark, a Coalition Partner, donated $1,000 to NCSF in October.

Behind Closed Doors, the annual conference by Baja Arizona Leather, a Supporting Member of NCSF, raised $300 by passing the hat at their Sunday key note speech.

House of Decorum, a NCSF Coalition Partner, raised $1,296 at their annual fetish ball, held this year in Asheville, NC.

The Red Chair, a NCSF Coalition Partner, donated $744 that was raised at their annual NCSF fundraiser and Halloween Masquerade. This year's theme was Steampunk! Airship Pirates and Gypsies running wild, with great carnival games and events.

The SFCitadel sponsored a Holiday Dance in the Dungeon for NCSF that raised $913 in 
December. The event was supported by the Leathermen's Discussion Group, 15 Association, Society of Janus and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

The New Mexico Leather League donated $621 to NCSF in November.

Min-KY, a NCSF Coalition Partner, raised $580 for NCSF in October.

Spanksgiving, the annual fall event by STL3, a Coalition Partner of NCSF, raised $320 through their ice-bucket challenge at the opening ceremonies against Jason (NCSF Board Member), James (NCSF's Ombuds Committee) and the lovely Tink.

The Tides Foundation donated a $1,500 grant to NCSF! The board of directors thanks Tides, as well as the anonymous donor who nominated NCSF for this grant.

 

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Incident Reporting & Response - 2014 Report
By Susan Wright

     NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response helps people who are being discriminated against 
because they are kinky and/or nonmonogamous: 184 requests for help were received in 2014. One-fourth of the cases evolved into weeks- or months-long projects, requiring the education of a number of legal, medical and mental health professionals about kink. Other professionals who requested information or resources to better serve kinky people included: academics, social services, vanilla nonprofit organizations & events, authors, merchant services, and insurance brokers.
     The drop in IRR requests can be partly attributed to the increased page views on NCSF's 
Kink Aware Professionals database, with over 1,200 kinky people directly accessing KAP in 2014 to find a lawyer, therapist or other professional rather than asking NCSF for help through Incident Reporting & Response. Recognizing the need for more professionals to be listed in KAP, in 2014 NCSF joined forces with GayLawNet, a free referral database of gay-friendly attorneys. GayLawNet also began offering a Kink Aware Professional category for their lawyers to self-identify as kink aware.

     Of the 184 requests for assistance, the majority dealt with BDSM while only 6 involved 
polyamory/swing issues:

73 criminal issues
33 child custody 
26 requests for info from professionals 
20 kink group issues
10 discrimination issues
5 job discrimination 
6 media related incidents
4 divorce
4 civil law issues 
3 outings

 

Criminal issues
     The 73 requests that involved criminal issues typically took the most time and effort to 
help resolve, including finding kink-aware legal representation and educating relevant 
professionals to remove kink as a barrier to services. The requests break down as follows:

42 - assistance with victim services, reporting an assault, sexual assault, blackmail or 
stalking to the police, and obtaining restraining orders
13 - referrals for kink-aware defense attorneys
6 - assisting sex workers who were arrested
6 - assisting people in dealing with: probation, sex offenders, sex traffickers
5 - research on state criminal laws and contracts

 

Child Custody/Divorce

     In 2014, there was a significant drop in requests for help with child custody/divorce 
issues. That is due to the change in the DSM-5 criteria, which made it clear that people who are kinky are not mentally ill:

2014 - 37 people
2013 - * see note
2012 - 87 people
2011 - 115 people
2010 - 125 people
2009 - 132 people 
 
     An even bigger change due to the DSM-5 can be found in the percentage of kinky 

parents who now retain child custody. More kinky parents who come to NCSF for help are 
successful in removing kink as an issue in family court and with social service workers and Child Protective Services. Of the 33 cases, 3 are still ongoing, but of those that assigned custody: 

2014 - 89% (27 out of 30 parents) custody was not removed because of kink. 
2012 - 53% (41 out of 77 parents) custody was not removed because of kink.
2011 - 23% (23 out of 101 parents) custody was not removed because of kink.
2010 - 12% (13 out of 109 parents) custody was not removed because of kink.
 
Groups
     There was also a drop in the number of requests from BDSM, swing and polyamory 

educational and social groups. Most people are now aware that they need to get professional advice in setting up their clubs and association papers, and it is common knowledge how to produce an event legally. As a result, NCSF received fewer requests for establishing a nonprofit or dealing with zoning laws, and instead primarily assisted groups in handling adversarial members, liability issues, doing outreach to local law enforcement, and handling media incidents. NCSF helped 20 kink groups in 2014 vs. 77 in 2012.

     Requests for help with swing and polyamory issues dropped to less than 3% of the total 
requests in 2014 compared to nearly 9% in 2012 and nearly 5% in 2011. There has been a 
significant drop in the number of house parties as Lifestyle events have shifted toward a 
business model that uses club venues, cruise ships and hotels. This means fewer busted house parties, and less need for NCSF services.

     The decline in discrimination against nonmonogamists may also be due in part to the 
success of gay marriage. The mainstream media covers relationship issues like nonmonogamy much more positively than it did five years ago. According to the NCSF Media Updates, of the articles that involved nonmonogamy as a subject:

2014 - 53 articles: 77% were positive and 23% were negative.
2013 - 42 articles: 81% were positive and 19% were negative.
2012 - 21 articles: 62% were positive and 38% were negative.
2011 - 33 articles: 30% were positive and 70% were negative.
2010 - 50 articles: 16% were positive and 84% were negative.
 
For updates and details on IRR requests, look for our quarterly IRR reports in the NCSF 

Newsletter. Sign up by emailing This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

* Note: From 2002-2011, NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received over 500 requests every year. In 2012, that number dropped to 474, likely due to the change in the DSM-5 and an increased use of KAP. The IRR data for 2013 was destroyed by Leigha Fleming when she deleted her emails and documentation from the NCSF server. Some people have reported receiving no response last year, and that may have contributed to fewer people coming to NCSF this year. Susan Wright took over as director of IRR in January, 2014.
 
Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger

Daily Flogger: 
Studio Pulls "50 Shades" Movie After Threats from Japanese Hackers

By Jane Jameson

HOLLYWOOD, MONTANA

 

     Focus Features announced today that they will not be releasing the film version of E L James' book 50 Shades of Grey after Japanese hackers broke into their servers and threatened to release damaging information about the books author, the film's stars, and financial dealings with major studios.

 

     The hacker also threatened to "flood the American market with real bondage and movies about actual S&M relationships" that would make 50 Shades look like a "bad parody of a bad book that was written by a bad author."

 

     The hackers left the following message on the company's servers:

Bondage in movie is very bad.  #GOR [Guardians of Rope] cannot permit movie.  It is so bad we must threaten violence to make it stop.  You disgrace everything good.  Everything that we love.  We have movies we will release.  We have eels doing pervert things.  If you don't stop we will show all Americans these movies.

     Hollywood insiders suspect that the alleged attack may actually be an attempt by the studio to shelve the film which has seen production delays due mostly to actor Jamie Dornan's inability to provide anything more than a wooden, one dimensional performance. Rumors that the sex scenes were stale and lifeless and needed to be reshot dozens of times have led to speculation that the film will be a major disappointment.

 

     Actress Dakota Johnson denied those rumors, telling The Daily Flogger, "I think you are mistaken.  I don't recall there being any sex scenes.  We had a few days of shooting in a bed, but I don't think you could call whatever Jamie was doing sexual or sexy or even interesting."

 

     Johnson has a different view of the film than most. The actress, who hasn't read the books, says "it is really a movie about how boring sex becomes once a man gets a lot of money. I see it as a cautionary tale and a very sad one that that. I wouldn't use the word erotic. Or sexy. Or good."

 
- For more humor with a kinky bent, go enjoy "The Daily Flogger" online magazine at: http://www.thedailyflogger.com/
 

Guest Blog: Out To The Doctor?

By Barak

AdventuresinSexuality.org

 

     So there you are, in the semi-private exam room at your Doctor's office or the Emergency Room, or any other patient care access point... and it's time to be seen.. The nurse has taken your vitals, checked some general questions, and before leaving the room, asks you to get into a gown. You have removed your clothing and have fitted the stylish blue plaid garment as best is possible. The rough material slides over your front, and you get a sore twinge from those nipple clamps you were wearing last night. Images begin to form in your head, as you reminisce about that fantastic scene from last night and your pulse increases slightly. The door opens, and as the doctor walks in you blanch recalling the purple mosaic of bruises you saw reflected in the mirror this am.

 

     What is the Doctor going to think? Will they turn you in? Will they throw you out? Can you get a straightjacket out of this? What do you say? How do you handle it? Do you tell the truth?

 

     Let's chat about this one. I have been in healthcare, as a Nurse or a Paramedic, for over 20 years. I have worked in Home Health, in Doctor's Offices, Psych centers, and at busy ERs and have seen almost everything. Really. I can tell you stories from decades ago about things stuck in places... But, let's save that for a fun night at a Meet N Greet, and get to some real discussion for now.

 

     I will start off by introducing you to something called The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) of 1996. If you read through this Act, you will find that a Doctor, nurse or other healthcare providers (HCPs) can only release records or information that is specific to you or could identify you in any way, if it pertains directly to your care or billing. That's it. If this info in shared in any other way? That is illegal and prosecutable. It's actually very serious in the medical field.

 

     The HIPAA laws prevent HCPs from even disclosing immediate family info. For instance? Let's say Sheba was in the hospital for testing. Let's also say that I was working for this same facility and had access to the computer systems. Even if she asks me to, it is illegal for me to access her records. Why? Because I am not on her care team and thereby don't have a "legitimate" reason for taking a peek.

 

     Where are we going with this? Because this law essentially covers Doctor / Patient confidentiality rules. However, there are a couple loopholes that you may want to be aware of. If a Doctor or other HCP feels that there is some form of danger, like you are being threatened, abused, harmed, etc. They are Mandated Reporters. Meaning, if they feel there is that type of issue, they can legally disclose information to Law Enforcement investigators. But this is for your protection.

 

     Now that you are aware of those pieces, we can continue. What is my advice? I always encourage honesty. If you are hurt, or there is something wrong? Be frank and honest about it. Don't try to make something up that "might" fit what happened.

 

     Let's say you had a shoulder injury during a rope scene. There are certain things you might leave out, but make sure you don't leave anything out that contributed to the injury. For instance, while Kinksters may love the terms, "Tied up and fucked," "BDSM," "Rape Scene," etc... There is no reason to try and bait them by playing, "Shock the Doc." In situations like this, discretion is the better part of valor. Take time and amend possible inflammatory terms. HCPs are fine with the terms, "Kinky Sex." "I like it a little rough," "Creative Sexual expression," etc..

 

     Depending on what you were actually doing, you may not have to get into that discussion at all. For instance, if you were

doing suspension work you might just let them know you were "experimenting with Rope," and "were being held off the ground by rope around your arm, shoulder, etc..." when you felt XYZ or however it happened. Meaning, you don't have to get into why you were suspended, other than you were playing around with Rope.

 

     Either way, you should always be honest about the how it happened. There is really no reason to get into the why most of the time. ya know? As HCPs, we are very adept at understanding the way the human body looks, acts, and works. We are also aware about the mechanics of damage, trauma and wounds. We have spent years listening to stories, comparing injuries, and calculating facts. We have a very finely tuned intuition, so if something feels out of place? We investigate much more fully.

 

     Just know that even if you are completely honest, you may get a visit from the friendly facility social worker. They may verify that everything is on the up and up, that your participation is consensual, and there is not any abuse going on. However, if the HCPs feel as though you are hiding something, deliberately baiting them, or trying to get a reaction, it may mildly irritate or it may really piss em off. Not a great idea, as they can certainly cause problems for you. If you set off their red flags, there is a good chance it will turn into much more of an inquiry that could involve people with a different looking uniforms and badges.

 

     If you are with your partner? Make sure you are on the same page, and don't become resentful if they separate you. They just want to make sure this is not domestic violence. So, smile alot, and make sure you both have the exact same story. One of the best stories? Is the one where you shyly admit you like being tied up, and your partner was trying to accommodate you.

 

     Furthermore, if the reason you are at the doctor's has nothing to do with the bruises on your ass & thighs? Just smile knowingly and say, "It's consensual, I like it rough." Then bring them back to the subject at hand, like the sore throat and cough symptoms you are having. If they bring you back to it? Just be factual and direct. Take a "nothing to see here," attitude.

 

     What to do? Should you come out to your Doctor? In the end that is up to you. However, as I have said, we have seen a lot. I can assure you that handprints don't look like something accidental. Whip, flogger and cane marks? Hello! Your best bet is to be honest and straightforward. If you can't or won't come out to your HCP? Then either make sure you don't have marks, don't get injured, or just find another HCP you are willing to share with. It's your health and your choice.

 

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Are You Ready for Fifty Shades?

 

 To coincide with the launch of the movie, get your Fifty Shades of Kink palm cards from NCSF to put out at your club or in local sex shops and bookstores so that people who are looking to find out more about kink know where to go. 


Contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it to request your cards.

NCSF's Fifty Shades of Kink resource page is for people who are kinky and/or non-monogamous, whether they're just starting out or an old hand at this: ncsfreedom.org/50ShadesofKink

 

consentdouble

 

lawdouble

 

kinkdouble

 

fundouble

 

 

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Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Sex talk on TLC: That's Margaret Cho biz from the NY Daily News

Dave Navarro: I'm Strapped for Kinky Sex from TMZ

Dishes, Dinner, & Sex from Valley Advocate

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
3rd Quarter, 2014

In this issue

NCSF Mental Heath Survey

Incident Reporting & Response

NCSF Thanks!

Merchant Services Question

A Touch of Humor

Media Updates

Representing on FetLife


NCSF Mental Health Survey

Please take the NCSF Mental Health Survey! We would like to know more about your BDSM practices, mental health and relational violence experiences:

 

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/FZ2XDMP 

 

NCSF is working with researchers at Sam Houston University's Department of Psychology and Philosophy who will compare our responses to two other sample populations - one college-aged and the other LGBT-identified.

 

NCSF will use these results to help with our advocacy, benefiting both existing and developing programs. Specifically, the study's results will assist in educating law enforcement, legal and psychological professionals about the practices and mental health of BDSM practitioners.

 

The survey will take approximately 35 minutes of your time.

 
This survey is anonymous. NCSF or outside researchers do not have access to any identifying information about participants.
 
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Incident Reporting & Response - 3rd Quarter 2014 report

By Susan Wright, director of IRR

 

In July, August and September, NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 41 requests for assistance with child custody, job discrimination, legal issues and discrimination against groups and businesses.

 

The Kink Aware Professionals list is our highest accessed resource on our website, with an average of 100 people searching for kink aware professionals every month in the 3rd quarter. As our KAP list grows, people are accessing KAP directly to find kink-aware attorneys and therapists instead of asking NCSF to educate vanilla professionals about kink and nonmonogamy. Please help grow KAP by telling kink friendly professionals that they can get a free listing for referrals.

 

NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However we have to balance that need with the need for transparency. So each quarter, we'll sum up the types of cases we worked on and give you examples of the locations when possible:

 

Child Custody

 

There were 10 requests for help with child custody, a drop from the 2nd quarter in which we had 13 requests for help with child custody. We assisted in family court cases in Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Minnesota, Ohio, Tennessee, Texas and Washington.

 

Organizational issues

 

There were 6 requests for help from BDSM groups. Two separate incidents involved venues cancelling contracts for BDSM event in two different regions. NCSF strategized with the organizers, bringing in our legal counsel in one case, and in the other reaching out directly to the venue to protest the discrimination. NCSF also assisted with a case involving online defamation against an event, and gave advice on membership groups and how to operate legally.

 

Criminal issues

 

There were 16 requests for assistance with criminal issues over the past three months. 6 of those requests involved assistance in dealing with a kink-related sexual assault (one was a defendant). The other 10 incidents include: a request for help with green card issues because of BDSM activities; someone who was being stalked online needed assistance in reporting it and getting an order of protection; several people asked how to deal with an online solicitation from Asian slave traders (I reported the emails to the FBI); provided legal research for a kinky sex worker and referral to nswp.org; and two requests for expert witnesses in criminal cases in Florida and California involving BDSM and alleged domestic violence.

 

Civil law issues

 

There were 7 requests for help with civil law issues including: sexual harassment in the workplace because the person was kinky; someone who was told he had to stop being kinky as part of his court-ordered therapy; issues around a sexual surrogacy case; assistance for someone who had their photographs taken from FetLife and posted on YouTube; and 3 cases of alleged libel. These cases took place in California, Colorado, Maryland and New Jersey, among others.

 

Discrimination

There were 2 requests for help with kink-related discrimination. One person in the South lost their job because they are kinky, and the other needed help with therapy issues involving aspergers and kink behavior.

 

If you need help, please contact NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response: https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/incident-response/incident-response.html or call 410-539-4824.

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NCSF Thanks!

 

The attendees of Behind Closed Doors for passing the hat and raising $300 in October (produced by Baja Arizona Leather, an NCSF Supporting Member).

 

NCSF Coalition Partner Adventures in Sexuality for donating $500 to NCSF from their COPE conference in September in Ohio.

 

The BDSM Writers Conference for raising $513 in their silent auction at the New York City conference in August.

Coming Together, the erotic anthology, donated $130 to NCSF in August.

 

Folsom Street East for donating $2,250 raised at their annual NYC street fair in June, that is earmarked for NCSF's Continuing Legal Education Program.

 

One of NCSF's original Coalition Partners, TES in New York City, raised $270 at their annual conference TES Fest 2014 in July.

One of NCSF's Ohio Coalition Partners, the Purple Rose Society, raised $300 for NCSF in June.

NCSF received the Community Award from Arizona Power Exchange at their 26th Anniversary Celebration on September 20th. Susan Wright holds the award surrounded by some of the APEX Board of Directors and Officers - Master Shane, Master Archer, Tess, Jackie, Master Mick and Samantha. 

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Merchant Services for Kinky Groups and Businesses 

Has your kinky group or business lost its ability to process credit/debit card transactions or has had (or currently having) trouble establishing any merchant service because of ties to kink? If so, please contact NCSF!

 

We have been discussing this problem with the Free Speech Coalition (which is actively searching for merchant service options for adult businesses) and have begun investigating effective options that would benefit our various alt sex communities.

 

Please email or call NCSF to share past/present issues and discuss what these adult-friendly merchant services might need to provide:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  or 410-539-4824.

Thank you!

 

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Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger:

Local Author Plans to "Get Rich" Writing BDSM Fiction

By Lazlo Toth

 

Ted "Chugger" Cormick, 25, has announced his plans to write the "next 50 Shades of Grey." Cormick told The Daily Flogger he was unimpressed by the novel, with its shallow characters and poor writing. "I think I could do better, maybe like 10% better and if that book sold 100 million copies, I think I could sell like ten percent more than that, which is like, well it's more than 100 million."

 

Cormick, who got his nickname from an uncanny ability to ingest enormous quantities of Mountain Dew soda, said he has very limited experience with writing or with BDSM, but sees that as a key to his success.

 

"Listen," Cormick says, "I know lots of real writers have tried to copy the success of 50 Shades, but they are all writers or experts on BDSM. I don't know what I am doing or talking about, just like E.L. James. That is why I am going to succeed."

 

http://www.thedailyflogger.com/local-author-plans-get-rich-writing-bdsm-fiction/

 

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Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Who's Afraid of the Marquis de Sade? from the BBC

Folsom Street Fair 2014: 30 Images from a Day of Kinky Fun from LA.com

Is Kink a Sexual Orientation? from Slate

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

 

 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
2nd Quarter, 2014

In this issue

Go to the Cops

Poly in the Vanilla World

Meet Your Board

Coalition Corner

Media Updates

Available for Your Event

Representing on FetLife


 Go to the Cops

 Susan Wright

You CAN go to law enforcement to report assault even if you're kinky. I get so mad when I hear people say, "You can't go to the cops," or "They'll treat you badly because you're kinky." Really? You tell your friend to crawl in a hole after they're assaulted? Why don't you offer to go with them to report it to law enforcement or to a hospital? Or call NCSF so I can work with the local victim services and help them report it.

 Since I took over NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response program, I've made a lot of phone calls to professionals around the country in order to find good people who won't discriminate against us. And you know what? Our advocacy efforts are working. Even in the most conservative areas, there are judges, lawyers and social service workers who are already educated about kink and nonmonogamy. They know that what we do is consensual, and that assault is assault regardless of the way we have sex.

 In January, I was contacted by several victims of a perpetrator in Maryland. These victims ended up reporting their assaults in two different counties in Maryland. The State's Attorney in one county moved forward with the case. The trial only took half a day. The victim testified, but she wasn't outed in the media, even though the incident in question was fairly sensational and took place at a camp event in front of other kinky people. The event where it happened wasn't harassed by law enforcement, and neither was the kinky club where the perpetrator then worked. The State's Attorney was only interested in the assault, not in harming the victims or the BDSM community. In fact, the victims were treated very well by everyone they dealt with.

Today the perpetrator was convicted of 2nd Degree Assault and was sentenced to a year in jail with two years probation and ordered by the court to attend an intervention program for intimate partner abuse.

If someone assaults you or your friend, then this is what can result if you go to the police. NCSF can help you. You don't have to stay quiet. Prosecutors will typically take on cases where there are witnesses, so assaults that happen at events are actually more prosecutable in their eyes than something that happens in private at home. Prosecutors also look at the physical evidence - if you were hurt in an assault ALWAYS go to the hospital or to your doctor or a community assistance center so they can take photographs of the damage that was done to you. Even if you don't know if you'll report it, you'll have the evidence if you do decide to report it later.

 Also, prosecutors take it more seriously if there is more than one victim. When you report an assault and you don't have any physical evidence or witnesses, prosecutors may decide to wait to see if another victim comes forward. Multiple accusations carry more weight. But that can only happen if you report it.

You can quote all the stats you want to about the small percentage of assaults - especially sexual assaults - that go to trial. But when we don't even try to get justice, then zero convictions will take place. If we don't try to stop someone who is a serial predator, then they will go on to commit more crimes.

Our community can't keep people safe. We can't give out all the names of everyone who violates consent or somehow protect everyone at risk. That's why yelling names from the rooftops doesn't work. But reporting it to the police does work. That's why in this case, many of the group and event organizers quietly banned this person and pulled their events from the club while the perpetrator still worked there. They had to keep things quiet so the victim could pursue their case through the judicial system - remember that witness tampering is a serious charge.

I'm so proud of the victims for standing up for themselves and stopping the cycle of repeated assaults. I'm proud of the Mid-Atlantic community of organizers for how they handled this difficult situation. It's been a learning experience for a lot of us, and I think that reporting assault to the police was the way to properly deal with this.

 NCSF's Incident Reportinghttps://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/incident-response/incident-response.html

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Guest Blog: Poly in the Vanilla World

By Bjorn Paulee

 

Accepting this assignment for NCSF has been a difficult time, but not for reasons you may assume.  One of the members of our poly family has been ill and in and out of the hospitals locally, and time has been precious more so than normally.

 

I've known that I was poly before the word existed while I was going through puberty.  During my dating years, I was at one point going "steady" with four different girls at four different high schools.  So what does it mean to be poly in a vanilla world?  If I were to bring it down to the most concise phrase I could, it would be "emotional juggling," and if you think you desire it, you'd better be ready for it.  Only those to whom it comes naturally seem to be able to do it consistently.

 

Our poly family right now is four and growing, with one under consideration and a number of others who may be asked if they want to be under consideration.  The problem is whether they are ready for it and are poly by nature or have another agenda.

 

But let me go back to the topic of living in a vanilla world.  At best, it is difficult.  The national culture is not ready to accept polyamorous or polygamous relationships in the open.  The result is that most alternate lifestylers are forced to lie in order to live the life they feel they need.  Psychologically, that is not healthy.  It also means that only the best liars are the ones that can survive without being outed.

 

I was a very good liar for many years, something I am not proud of.  I was able to maintain vanilla relationships, while letting the needs I have play out.  But it hurt others in the process.  I have good relationships with my kids for the most part, but they were raised in such a manner that they knew who I was and why I had to live as I did.  I have a close group of lifelong friends and most of them know about me, but some live very conservative lives and this is not something to wear on your sleeve and throw it in the faces of others.

 

A few years ago, I made the decision not to lie any more.  For the most part, I've been able to hold true, but there are still times that cannot be helped.  For instance, one of the members of our poly family was in the hospital and in order to get information about her condition and make good with the nursing staff and doctors, we needed to say we were part of her family, so she instantly became a sister-in-law to me.  Sigh.  As a result, we have now put an Advance Directive (Living Will) together and are working on more legal documents that long-term will allow us some legal rights.  Again, it is difficult at best.

 

For me, there has been lots of conflict throughout my life for having to use personal skills and talents to be in the closet about swinging early on and polyamory in the later years when swinging was no longer providing satisfaction.  I yearn to have multiple relationships and the variety it brings and I make a good partner, one who enables my partners and friends to be the best people they can be without being intimidating physically or emotionally.  But for now, I am living a reasonable relaxed life, something I was never sure would happen.

 

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Meet Your Board! 

Winner of the most recent NCSF Volunteer of the Year award, Keira!

Do you have a history of activism and community involvement?
I try to be involved in my community, offering aid to the leaders and support to anyone who needs it, but I have never been much of an activist. NCSF is my only true activist endeavor.

What specialties do you bring to the board?
My role on the board is fairly small, I find volunteers for all of our various programs and projects and send the media update on a biweekly basis. That said, I am the youngest board member, so I often offer a different perspective to our mission and as the volunteer coordinator I have the pleasure of being a support to all of our programs. I might have a small role, but it has a big impact in achieving our goals and getting things done.


What inspired you to become involved in NCSF?
I have always enjoyed helping others and soon after learning about the NCSF, Julian Wolf came to speak at my local group. We toured the area together (I had just moved and wanted to see the sights just as much as they did) and through a conversation about how my main goal in life was to serve the kink community I was encouraged to get involved with NCSF. 

Keira writes: I am the Volunteer Coordinator for NCSF. When I'm not wearing that hat, I am a Health and Wellness student, weight lifter, and board gamer I live in Ocean Springs, MS, where I am involved in a very active local community and helping to get the TNG off the ground. For more information about me, or how to get involved with NCSF, please email me at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  .

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Coalition Corner

The Red Chair

What is the mission of your group?
The Red Chair is a 501c non-profit corporation dedicated to providing education and support for adults that practice alternative lifestyles, particularly the BDSM lifestyle. TRC provides this via educational seminars, lectures, group discussions, and free form meetings. The group welcomes all sexual orientations, consensual relationships, and safe/sane/consensual BDSM practices without discrimination.

What inspired your participation with the NCSF? 
The Red Chair early on sought out an organization with the same commitment to adult alternative lifestyle education and issues as it has always had. NCSF's national mission has always coincided with that which the The Red Chair has sought to further on a regional level, and TRC has been a long-time and proud coalition partner with NCSF as a result.
 
What's your favorite way to do your NCSF fund raising? 
TRC holds a special party each year at Halloween, the KarnEvil. Party proceeds are dedicated to the NCSF. 
 
More information can be found at The Red Chair
 
Thank you Chuck for sending in this picture and answering our questions! 
 
 

Media Updates and Web Features

 

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

 

Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:

 

Going National by Race Bannon for the Bay Area Reporter

Unitarian Universalists Ratify Poly Inclusive Language in its Nondiscrimination Standards

Swingers: Inside the Secret World of Sex Clubs from ABC News 

 

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

 

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here

 

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Representatives from the NCSF are Out and About! 

Here's a short sample:
NCSF Sponsors Atlanta Poly Weekend
Workshop and tabling at The Floating World! Board members Keira and Julian Wolf will be discussing Consent Counts in New Jersey at the end of July, as well as hosting a table. 

And that's not all. Interested in having representatives from our organization at your event? Please contact us. We have board members scattered across the country and a dedicated team of Education Outreach Program speakers not to mention our small army of volunteers. We strive to accommodate our constituents, so please don't hesitate to let us know what you're looking for.Please email us.  

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Return to Top

 

 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
1stQuarter, 2014

In this issue

Erotic Awakenings

Take the Consent Violations Survey

2014 Annual Meeting

Meet Your Board

DC Professional Dominatrixes Rock

NCSF Expands Its Legal Resources

Polyamory as Orientation?

Amicus Brief in Support of Consensual Nonmonogamy

Representing on FetLife


Erotic Awakening interviews NCSF Board Member Jsin 

Listen to NCSF Board Member Jsin's interview about NCSF that took place at the recent Beat Me in St. Louis. Hear what NCSF is doing to help people today! Jsin's interview starts at 15:30 min.

 

http://www.eroticawakening.com/files/ea312.php

 

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Take the Consent Violations Survey!

 

 https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ConsentViolationsSurvey

 

Please take this survey even if you've never had a consent violation. We want to know what are your power exchange and sexual identities? Are you "out" about being kinky? How often do you go to BDSM groups and online communities?


NCSF will use these results to help perform its advocacy, such as helping law enforcement, prosecutors and health care professionals understand the experiences of kinky people and provide better quality service.


Only takes 5-20 minutes to complete!

 

This survey is anonymous and your privacy is guaranteed by SurveyMonkey, a secured survey hosting website. NCSF does not have access to any identifying information about the participants.

 

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom www.ncsfreedom.org

 

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NCSF's Coalition Partners Come Together in Nashville, TN 

 

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partner meeting in Nashville, TN from March 14-16, 2014. The Coalition Partners voted in the new Board of Directors for NCSF, approved the 2014 budget, and brainstormed on NCSF's projects and goals for the coming year.

 

"The annual meeting gives NCSF's Coalition Partners the opportunity to tell the board where our focus should be in the coming year," says Chairman Kevin Carlson. "It's also their time to give us feedback on how we're conducting the day-to-day business of NCSF. The Board and staff of NCSF are now re-energized and eager to continue the good work of NCSF."

 

The CP representatives approved the new Financial and Control Policies which have an emphasis on transparency and accountability. The CP reps created an Ombuds Committee which will be responsible for reviewing actions by NCSF board and staff members. The CPs also received a full report on the forensic financial review and the results of the investigation into the theft of funds from the NCSF, and determined the next steps the Board should take in pursuing the restitution of those funds.

 

The CPs were eager to explore new ways of integrating NCSF programs with membership services and outreach efforts. They heard reports on the NCSF projects and programs including:

 

  • The success of the DSM Revision Project in helping to ensure that kinky people are no longer misidentified as mentally ill by the American Psychiatric Association;
  • Kink Aware Professionals list gained 200 professionals in the past year and totals nearly 1,400 professionals;
  • The Media Outreach Project gave over 42 interviews on consensual kink and nonmonogamy;
  • The Education Outreach Project and Consent Counts Project gave 28 presentations;
  • NCSF's Facebook page hit 1,000 Likes.

 

Keira Harris received NCSF's Volunteer of the Year Award for her work as Volunteer Director. Keira has created a volunteer program that is successful in filling the needs of NCSF's projects and programs. Because NCSF is an all volunteer organization, Keira's work is critical to its success.

 

NCSF thanks CPI-The Mark for hosting CP representatives, NCSF board members and staff at their party on Saturday night, and at the Sunday afternoon presentation on BDSM & the Law presented by Judy Guerin, Dick Cunningham and Susan Wright. NCSF also thanks Mercury and Samantha for organizing the annual meeting and welcoming everyone to Nashville.

 

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Meet Your Board! 

Your current NCSF Board is:

Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID

Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY

Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - NCSF Treasurer - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN

Jim Fleckenstein - NCSF Foundation Treasurer - Manassas, VA

Devin MacLachlan - Fundraising Director - Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Laura Carlson - Education Outreach Director - Boise, ID

Keira Harris - Volunteer Director - New Orleans, LA

Mercury - Membership Director - Nashville, TN

Julian Wolf - Newsletter Director - Albuquerque, NM

Susan Wright - Media and Incident Reporting & Response Director - Phoenix, AZ

Fil Vocasek - New York, NY

Jsin - St. Louis, MO

 

NCSF is here to help you, so please help us! Support NCSF by becoming a member, volunteering or donating today! www.ncsfreedom.org

 

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DC Professional Dominatrixes Rock On for NCSF


Now on it's fourth year, the annual Dinner with Dommes exclusive event organized by the DC Professional Dominatrixes have proven to be a beneficial fundraising event for NCSF.


This event brings together top DC and NYC Dominatrixes who donate their time and effort to raise funds for NCSF.  Every year, Mark of DC Dominatrixes ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ) sets up and manages an online auction for seats at the table at this very private and exclusive dinner/play event held in one of the premier dungeons on the East Coast in Washington DC. 


This year, eight lucky submissives were given the chance to be in the presence of eight beautiful and provocative top Professional Dominatrixes from the DC Metro area. The sumptuous dinner was prepared by a very creative chef and her energetic kitchen staff courtesy of Mistress Max Rulz. This event raised a total of $4,200. 


At the 2014 Dark Odyssey Winter Fire event, the local DC Professional Dominatrixes together with DC Dominatrixes and DC Sub Club once again hosted a VIP fundraising reception.  It was a night filled with excitement, laughter and hobnobbing with the creme de la creme of the BDSM community, professional Dominatrixes, fetish models and other kink-friendly people.  Fun was had by all and this event yielded $2,000 for NCSF.
 
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NCSF Expands Its Legal Resources

 

NCSF is pleased to announce the expansion of its Consent Counts legal resources to better serve our communities. Brian Flaherty, who has been the Legal Director for the Consent Counts project since NCSF assumed the project in 2008, will now serve as NCSF's overall Director of Legal Research. Dick Cunningham, who has been legal counsel to the Consent Counts project since its inception, now serves as NCSF's general legal counsel.

 

"This will significantly expand our legal resources to better support NCSF's media relations and Incident Reporting & Response," said Susan Wright, NCSF Founder and Board Member. "It will also provide our non-kink communities increased legal attention to polyamory and swing legal issues."

 

Brian has been instrumental in development of the Consent Counts project and is a professional law librarian as well as one of NCSF's Educational Outreach Program presenters. Dick has a long history of working on sexual freedom, civil rights and free speech legal issues. He is currently the senior international trade attorney at Steptoe & Johnson, LLP in Washington, DC.

 

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Guest Blog
Polyamory As Orientation?

By Race Bannon

 

In a recent article in Modern Poly written by Saul-of-Hearts, a writer, musician and videographer based in Los Angeles and Portland, the idea that polyamory is an orientation, at least for the writer, was put forth. I posted the article titled "Polyamory As Orientation (And Why It Works For Me)" on Facebook and asked my online friends this question: "So what do you think? Is it similar to an orientation or not?"

 

The range of answers I got was interesting as discussions regarding polyamory often are, especially with my online friends who range from actively polyamorous to staunchly monogamous and everything in between. But one comment stood out and resonated with me the moment I read it. A friend offered this:

 

The writer assumes that all humans are not naturally capable of a romantic relationship with more than one individual. I don't like the term poly. Most research into modern hunter/gatherer societies has shown that monogamy is a modern phenomenon and socially constructed for the purposes of property management and inheritance.

 

Monogamy isn't an orientation, it's conditioning.

 

Poly isn't an orientation. It is our natural state.

 

This rings true for me. I also think being poly is our natural state and that monogamy has been imposed upon us by social conditioning. If you read heralded books like Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships, they offer the same conclusion. Of course, this position is controversial for many.

 

But for those of us who identify as poly and who live a poly life now, or have aspirations to do so, I think adopting the mindset that being poly is a natural state while monogamy is not would serve us well. However, the only caution I would offer is that this stance should not denigrate the decision that some will make to configure their relationships in a monogamous fashion. Just because we might put forth the notion that poly is a natural state does not mean that someone's choice to be monogamous is wrong or counter to nature, especially if that decision is truly made for reasons that work for the individuals involved and are not the result of social conditioning that makes those people miserable as they try to conform. Poly folks must always value the monogamous among us even as we live our lives in a different fashion. Diversity is the norm and therefore that means that people will decide to configure their relationships in diverse ways also. It's all good.

 

With all that said, I guess the most accurate statement I can make is that poly is natural for many people. I contend it's natural for most people, but the real point I want to make is that it's most certainly just as natural as monogamy is and perhaps, if social conditioning weren't a factor, might indeed by the more prevalent form of how we do relationships.

So while I don't think of myself being polyamorous as an orientation, I do embrace the notion that my poly life is indeed a natural state. It's certainly more natural for me than monogamy, both in terms of my sexuality and how I bond with others.

 

Let me know your thoughts about this by posting a comment.

 

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NCSF Files Amicus Brief in Support of Consensual Nonmonogamy 

 

Washington D.C. - NCSF has filed an amicus brief in a military case involving a marine who engaged in a consensual threesome and because of that was convicted of adultery, attempted consensual sodomy and indecent conduct, a "crime" based solely on undefined sexual conduct inconsistent with "common propriety."

 

In its brief, NCSF points out that military law is out of sync with U.S. Constitutional law and societal mores, especially when it comes to consensual sexual behaviors. Dick Cunningham, NCSF's Legal Counsel who prepared and filed the brief, said, "This is an important case in which we have challenged ways in which courts have criminalized consensual sexual conduct in what we regard as direct violation of the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark sexual freedom decision in Lawrence v. Texas."

 

Lawrence held that non-injurious consensual sex among adults cannot be criminally prosecuted, and that moral disapproval is not a sufficient justification for a criminal law.  In this case, the military court used a spurious "public sex" argument to evade the Lawrence ruling.

 

Filing legal briefs is an important part of NCSF's mission in its attempts to decriminalize consensual adult sexual behavior.  NCSF awaits the decision of the military court on whether its amicus brief will be accepted.  To view NCSF's brief and case legal documents on this case, visit https://ncsfreedom.org/who-we-are/about-ncsf/item/715.html

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
4th Quarter, 2013

In this issue

Happy New Year!

NCSF's Consent Violations Survey

2014 Annual Meeting

Meet Your Board

Sexual Freedom in the News

An Obituary for Leigha Fleming

Representing on FetLife


Happy New Year!
 
From all of us at the NCSF we hope you had a wonderful holiday season and your new year is already great.
 
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Coming Soon! NCSF's Consent Violations Survey

 

January 2014 is the big launch of NCSF's Consent Violations Survey. We need everyone to take this survey even if you've never had a consent violation.

 

We're also gathering important demographic info on your power exchange and sexual identities, whether you are "out" about being kinky, and what level of participation you have in BDSM groups and online communities.

 

It will take as little as 5 minutes to complete, and up to 20 minutes if you provide details of consent violations or accusations. This information will be used in NCSF's advocacy efforts with law enforcement, victim services and health care professionals.

 

This survey is anonymous and your privacy is guaranteed by Survey Monkey, a secured survey hosting website. NCSF will not have access to any identifying information about the participants.

 

Look for the link to the Consent Violations Survey soon!

 

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2014 Annual Meeting in Music City!
 
The Annual NCSF Coalition Partner will be held in Nashville, Tennessee on March 15-16, 2014. Plan on coming in early. Our hosts will be offering free transport to and from the hotel to the airport and are giving all CP representatives, staff and board members free entry to the local Kink Community Center (The Mark) for both Friday and Saturday night events! Do you need concierge or visit planning assistance? Do you need guidance for special dietary concerns? Just let us know. 
 
2014 promises to be a landmark year for the NCSF, we look forward to you coming and helping us plan. See you in Nashville! 
 
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Meet Your Board! New  Member: Devin MacLachlan 
 
The NCSF appointed our newest member in October. Please welcome Devin!

Do you have a history of activism and community involvement? 
 
My community involvement goes back to when I was in school in San Franscisco.  For two years I was on the South of Market Bare Chest Calendar which raised money for the AIDS Emergency Fund.  At that time 90% of all money raised went to clients.  Most recently I was the President and Executive Producer of Folsom Street East in New York City from 2008-2012.  FSE is a 501 (c)3 that raises funds for other LGBT and Kink causes.  NSCF has been a beneficiary of Folsom Street East since it started.  Before running FSE I was the last President of GMSMA (Gay Male SM Activists) in New York City.  A Working with other organizations like The NY Anti Violence Project and The Center in NYC GMSMA worked on educating the community about the difference between consensual SM play and abuse as well as holding classes on various techniques in BDSM play and community activism.

What specialties do you bring to the board? 

One of my specialties is building processes and growing community.  To be able to reach out between groups and organization connecting people and helping all achieve their goals.  We as a Kink/Fetish Community are bigger than any one person, one group, or type of sexuality.  We don't all have to act the same way or believe the same things but mutual respect and a willingness to help each other binds us together and makes us stronger.

What inspired you to become involved in NCSF?

After supporting NCSF for many years in other ways having the opportunity to join the board was a logical step.  Having the freedom to be who you are has always been a critical issue for me.  From the Freedom to Marry to the Freedom to express yourself in public or in private are basic rights we should be able to enjoy.   Limiting those rights diminishes all of us.
 
On more of a personal note, I have been in an 8 year relationship with my now husband Bruce.  We were married in NYC in October of 2011 after same sex marriage was passed in the state of New York.  Currently we reside in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  Since moving to Fort Lauderdale I have worked on "The Leather Masked Ball" a benefit for The Leather Archives and Museum as well as The Pet Project and Gilda's Closet.  I also have been working with The South Florida Minotaurs and looking forward to becoming a full member in the near future.  

You can contact Devin via email at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 

 


 Sexual Freedom Stories in the News 

 

The national (and international) news is buzzing with stories relating to sexual freedom.

 

The New York Times reported "A Utah Law Prohibiting Polygamy Is Weakened," one of our contributing writers Tamara Pincus was interviewed by the Huffington Post, and the Oxford Student discussed BDSM Consent among other things. 

 

Curious about what's going on in the world and what the NCSF pays particular attention to? You can check out our Blog anytime you'd like, it's always live at the NCSF website. We also send out regular Media Updates right to your inbox, to help you stay on top of things. Here's a link or find it below) if you haven't already signed up.  

 

Sharing is caring! You can forward our newsletters, media updates and press releases to your friends by clicking the link at the bottom of our mailings. Keep in the know with the NCSF.

 

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An Obituary for Leigha Fleming

 

Leigha Fleming passed away on December 19, 2013, after a longstanding illness. She was 43 years old. Leigha received a wound that became infected in August 2012, and suffered through numerous operations before she finally succumbed to the infection.

 

We would like to remember all the hard work Leigha did for NCSF as Chairman from 2008-2013, and as Incident Reporting & Response Director for nearly 12 years. At various times Leigha was also the Executive Director, Treasurer and Education Outreach Program Director since she started volunteering for NCSF in 2000.

 

Leigha personally helped thousands of individuals, groups and businesses who suffered discrimination and persecution due to their interest in BDSM, swinging and polyamory. Those people who she touched will never forget that she was there to help them when they needed it the most.

 

Leigha devoted a large part of her life to making sure that NCSF ran smoothly and that our volunteers and staff were doing their jobs. She took great pride in the fact that she played a key part in putting NCSF's infrastructure on a solid footing. The staff and Board members of NCSF will certainly feel the loss with Leigha gone.

 

As many people suffer the loss of someone considered a friend or even mentor, we hope to celebrate all the good that Leigha propagated in her lifetime, and we are grateful for the positive changes she so frequently inspired.

 

Leigha regretted at the end that she had little time left and no way to make restitution to NCSF. Her last words to NCSF were: "I am sorry."

 

Rest in Peace.

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
2nd Quarter, 2013

In this issue

Come talk about BDSM and consent!

The DSM-5 Says Kink is OK!

Why Support or Join NCSF?

Representing on FetLife


 Come Talk about BDSM and consent!

NCSF's Consent Counts project is holding discussions around the country to gather your input on our Consent Statement so we can move forward to change laws and perceptions of BDSM. Kinky people still have significant legal, political and societal issues facing us. The majority of us fear the very real threat of being prosecuted or losing our jobs or families. To change the assault laws, we have to be able to tell the world what we think of consent. What is ethical consent? What are the gray areas? Are there things people shouldn't be able to consent to in a BDSM context?

 

If you would like your group like to hold a Consent Statement workshop in your area, please contact  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  to get the Consent Counts discussion guide.

 

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The DSM-5 Says Kink is OK!

 

The American Psychiatric Association has depathologized kinky sex - including cross-dressing, fetishes, and BDSM - in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). Now the paraphilias are considered to be "unusual sexual interests," while those who have sex with children or people who haven't consented, or who deliberately cause harm to themselves or others, may be diagnosed with a Paraphilic Disorder.

 

"The APA has made it clear that being kinky is not a mental disorder," says Susan Wright, Spokesperson for NCSF. "That means people no longer have to fear being diagnosed as mentally ill just because they belong to a BDSM group. We've already seen the impact -NCSF immediately saw a sharp rise in the success rate of child custody cases for kinky parents after the proposed DSM-5 criteria was released three years ago."

 

NCSF would like to thank everyone who participated in signing our DSM Revision Petition and for telling the APA about their own stories of discrimination and persecution. NCSFalso thanks every member of the APA Paraphilias Subworkgroup for responding to our concerns, and drawing a hard line between consensual adult kinky sex and those who willfully engage in nonconsensual or harmful activities.

 

NCSF is proud to build on the work of kink-aware professionals who have come before us, including Race Bannon and Guy Baldwin, who helped make seminal changes in the DSM-IV in 1994.

 

The following are some statements about the various paraphilias in the DSM-5. Although highly clinical in language, they show the APA's intent to not demand treatment for healthy consenting adult sexual expression:

 

 "A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention." p. 686

 

"In contrast, if they declare no distress, exemplified by anxiety, obsessions, guilt or shame, about these paraphilic impulses, and are not hampered by them in pursuing other personal goals, they could be ascertained as having masochistic sexual interest but should not be diagnosed with a sexual masochism disorder." p. 694

 

"Many individuals who self-identify as fetishist practitioners do not necessarily report clinical impairment in association with their fetish-associated behaviors. Such individuals could be considered as having a fetish but not fetishistic disorder." p. 701

 

"Clinical assessment of distress or impairment, like clinical assessment of transvestic sexual arousal, is usually dependent on the individual's self-report." p. 703   

 

To support NCSF, go to www.ncsfreedom.org. NCSF relies entirely on your donations toadvance the rights of consenting adults and to do advocacy like our DSM Revision Project. Please donate now!

 

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Why Support or Join NCSF?

 

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (often referred to as NCSF) is committed to creating a political, legal and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights for consenting adults who engage in alternative sexual and relationship expressions. But why should the BDSM, leather, fetish, swing and polyamory communities that are the focus of NCSF's efforts, and their friends and allies, support our work? Good question.

 

Perhaps the best way to demonstrate the importance of supporting, joining or otherwise empowering the work that NCSF does is to clearly lay out some of the many services we offer, initiatives we've undertaken and informative collateral that we offer.

 

Our History

NCSF was formed in 1997 by a small group led by Susan Wright under the auspices of the New York SM Activists. The goal was to fight for sexual freedom and privacy rights for all adults who engage in safe, sane and consensual behavior.

 

The first five organizations who joined reflected our desire to be a nationwide organization: National Leather Association-International; Gay Male S/M Activists; The Eulenspiegel Society; Black Rose; and Society of Janus.

 

Today, NCSF has over 100 Coalition Partners who elect the board that runs NCSF and help establish our goals at the annual Coalition Partner meeting. Coalition Partners are groups and businesses who serve BDSM/leather/fetish, swing and polyamory practitioners and also support NCSF by holding an annual fundraiser. NCSF also has over 100 Supporting Members - groups and businesses that support NCSF.

 

Over the years, NCSF has formed alliances with other organizations that defend sexual freedom rights: Free Speech Coalition, the ACLU, American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the Gay and Lesbian Activist Alliance, among others.

 

NCSF is the preeminent organization with a mission to improve the lives of those who consider themselves practitioners or community members among those who pursue BDSM/leather/fetish or swing sexualities or engage in polyamorous relationships.

 

What We Do

NCSF does many things to advance the rights of those who engage in consensual BDSM/leather/fetish, swing and polyamory lives. The best way to get a good sense of the full range of activities, projects and services that NCSF offers is to view the following sections that explain in some detail what NCSF has been up to lately.

 

Consent Counts

NCSF took over leadership in the nationwide Consent Counts project working to decriminalize BDSM and create a database of relevant state laws.

 

The Consent Counts project involves the BDSM communities in a nationwide education and activism program coordinated and led by NCSF. This multifaceted campaign includes a comprehensive analysis of current laws and court decisions, the development of legal arguments for changing the laws, participating in court cases, and ultimately, through lobbying, education and grass-roots activism, changing state laws and the way the public and the courts view BDSM.

 

An important element of the project is an Educational Outreach Program (EOP) to educate our own communities about the current state of the law and the efforts NCSF is undertaking to involve those communities in our strategic planning process and the development of "best practices" by which we can protect ourselves and facilitate change.

 

To ensure that the work NCSF is doing as part of Consent Counts is based on the best information possible, An Internet survey was undertaken by NCSF gauge respondents' views on consent in a BDSM context. There were a total of 5,667 respondents and the results guide the Consent Counts project and were utilized in developing the draft of the NCSF Consent Statement. This is an official statement presented as a discussion of the ethical and legal concepts of consent that need to be considered in the practice of BDSM activities and in relationships based on BDSM activities. It reflects both the extensive study by NCSF of the state of the law in the U.S. and the results of NCSF's Consent Counts Survey. This Statement is intended for both BDSM practitioners and the general public.

 

Incident Reporting and Response

NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response (IRR) was created to provide assistance to individuals and groups within the alternative sexual expression communities. If someone engaged in BDSM, fetish, swing or polyamory practices is being persecuted or discriminated against because of it, we encourage them to contact NCSF's IRR program. We may also be able to assist if a group or business is being harassed by religious political extremists or if they need assistance doing outreach to their local law enforcement.

 

NCSF's IRR program uses three primary criteria for taking a case:

  • The issue must openly, directly, and specifically relate to BDSM, swing or poly activities between consenting adults. In other words, the problems faced must relate to or be caused from involvement in BDSM, swing or poly, without question.
  • The issue must be one whose outcome or precedent could affect not just the individual filing the complaint, but potentially a significant number of people with the same or similar problem.
  • The incident needs to have a reasonable chance of a successful resolution; usually indicating that the individual filing has not also been found guilty of a crime other than behaviors currently considered illegal relating to BDSM, swing or poly.

Our IRR program may be able to assist with city and county mediation (zoning, licensing, and so on), custody and divorce information, employee and personnel issues, kink-aware professional referrals, criminal assistance, domestic violence assistance, and assisting when events are attacked (working with police, media, health departments, and so on).

 

Due to limited resources NCSF is only able to take a fraction of the cases that come to us. Many of the complaints we receive do not meet all of the above criteria. Even under the best circumstances, NCSF can only help a small percentage of those who merit it. All of our work is done by volunteers and we accept no payment for our services.

 

Kink Aware Professionals

The Kink Aware Professionals Directory (often referred to as KAP) offers the alternative sexualities and relationship communities referrals to psychotherapy, medical, legal and other professionals who are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality and relationships.

 

While NCSF cannot endorse or recommend these professionals, each professional listed has volunteered to be available for referral to people involved in kinky sexuality (leather, BDSM, fetish, and so on), polyamory, swinging, or publicly offers their services to that client population.

 

Resource Library

NCSF compiles a wide array of educational and informational materials on a variety of topics. We organize them in our online Resource Library for easy and free access to the public. Categories include Activist Resources, Consent Counts resources, DSM Resources, Educational Outreach Program Presentations and Publications, Kink Aware Professionals (for both professionals and those seeking assistance), Media Outreach Resources, NCSF Publicity Materials, Recommended Reading, Statistics and Surveys, and What is SM? Check out the amazing array of resources available to you for free from NCSF.

Amid the categories of resources already mentioned you'll find many other useful documents for groups and event producers that assist in specific ways such as membership forms for social groups or private clubs, non-disclosure agreements, independent contractors agreements, employee work environment agreements, model release agreements, event/play space rules, recommendations for event planning, hotel negotiations manual, and a statement for hotel personnel when a hotel is attacked.

 

Educational Outreach

One of the missions of the NCSF Foundation and its Education Outreach Program (EOP) is to provide members of the BDSM/Leather/Fetish, swing and polyamory communities educational information concerning relevant legal, medical and other issues. We also provide education, as appropriate, to law enforcement, care providers, and other authorities about alternative sexuality, and to assist and support the outreach and education efforts of local communities.

 

As part of EOP, NCSF works with District Attorneys and prosecutors to educate them with the intent to minimize discriminatory prosecutions, offers workshops by trained staff on a wide variety of topics, publishes white papers for professionals and members of the various communities, offers educational brochures and handouts, and conducts surveys on our community and publishes those results for others to utilize.

 

Media Outreach Program Media Training, News and Information

Through our Media Outreach Program NCSF does media advocacy for the millions of Americans who suffer discrimination and persecution because of their normal interest in some form of alternative sexual expression, such as BDSM, fetishes, polyamory, and swinging. A great deal of the bigotry against sexual minorities occurs because of a lack of information and the resulting negative depiction by the media. We offer resources for both the media and the alternative sexual expression communities.

 

NCSF also offers assistance to organizations and event producers by helping them with press releases, intervention during a media crisis, media spokesperson representation, media training and ongoing support, and suggested sound bites and interview tips.

In addition to our Media Outreach and Training Programs, NCSF offers news and information to our constituency through a variety of communication mechanisms.

  • Blog - News and information items are posted to our blog on a regular basis. Sometimes posts are originally authored articles and sometimes they are media updates which are a sampling of recent stories printed in U.S. newspapers, magazines, and selected websites. These stories contain significant mentions of BDSM/leather/fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics and may be positive, negative, or anywhere in between.

  • In The News - Learn how NCSF is impacting lives for the better.

  • NCSF Newsletter - NCSF regularly publishes a free newsletter to which anyone can subscribe.

  • Press Releases - When NCSF undertakes an important project, gets involved in important issues, or otherwise wants its constituency and the world at large to know about something, we issue press releases.

  • Action Alerts - When NCSF feels quick action is necessary by the public they serve, we issue Action Alerts outlining the action we hope people will take and why.
  • NCSF also recognizes excellence in journalism reporting through our Sex Positive Journalism Awards (also known as "The Sexies").
  • Legal Information and Assistance - When appropriate, NCSF may offer referrals to specific attorneys, the filing of amicus briefs, lobbying assistance, assistance with certain pertinent legislative initiatives, and legal background support through such efforts are our SM/Abuse Statement and our Consent Counts project.
 

DSM Revision Project

NCSF has successfully petitioned the American Psychiatric Association, resulting in the depathologizing of consensual BDSM in the latest Diagnostic & Statistics Manual (DSM). This helps not only those seeking psychotherapy treatment by not having their sexuality called into question during therapy, but also improves community members' legal standing in certain court cases when the DSM has been used as evidence.

 

When the American Psychiatric Association formed their working committees to revise its most recent version of the DSM, the definitive resource on the diagnostic criteria for all mental disorders, NCSF became involved. Past statements within the DSM paraphilias criteria are contradicted by scientific evidence and therefore NCSF concluded that the interpretation of the paraphilias criteria had been not based on science. These often politically motivated interpretations subject BDSM practitioners, fetishists and cross-dressers to bias, discrimination and social sanctions without any scientific basis. We called on the American Psychiatric Association to remove or drastically restructure the paraphilias section in the DSM which resulted in some considerable success.

 

BDSM Survey

The 2008 Survey of Violence & Discrimination Against Sexual Minorities found significant discrimination and persecution against BDSM practitioners due to the social stigma attached to their sexual behavior. With over 3,000 respondents, 37.5% indicated that they had either been discriminated against or experienced some form of harassment or violence.

The survey addresses the gap in current knowledge by reporting data on the prevalence of violence and discrimination against BDSM and polyamory practitioners. The persecution of these individuals is conceptualized as a manifestation of sexual stigma, that is, society's negative regard for any non- heterosexual behavior, identity, relationship, or community.

 

NCSF Materials

NCSF provides brochures and other NCSF materials for dissemination at events or to be used by organizations, clubs and other groups. A great example of such material is the Consent Counts Discussion Guide. The Consent Counts Discussion Guide offers groups a structured and organized way to foster discussion in their local alternative sexualities communities about the topic of consent. Visit our website to view the various materials we can offer.

 

More Information and Contacting NCSF

NCSF maintains a robust website on which you'll find lots of great information as well how to contact us. On our website we also include an event calendar listing NCSF and Coalition Partners events. We have a wide array of social media venues that keep our constituency and the public at large informed about NCSF and related news and information. We encourage people to bookmark our website and to keep informed about NCSF and related news and information through our social media platforms.

 

 

Through the use of social media and virtual communications, NCSF provides its members, partners and the general public continuous updates regarding news, legislation, trends and information of interest to the BDSM, leather, kink, swing and poly communities.

 

Supporting NCSF

People and organizations can support NCSF in a number of ways. By supporting NCSF, you help keep our important programs and services alive. NCSF operates through the financial contributions and volunteer efforts of wonderful people around the nation and world.

 

People and organizations can join NCSF as members at one of three levels of membership:

  • Coalition Partners - Our highest level of membership. Coalition Partners support NCSF through annual membership fees plus proceeds of an annual fundraiser for the benefit of NCSF.

  • Supporting Members - Individuals or organizations support NCSF with an annual membership fee.

  • Individual Members - Individual constituents hold membership in NCSF by contributing annual membership dues.
  • For organizations that support NCSF we offer the option to place our NCSF logo on your website, utilize NCSF ads that can be downloaded and used, include your name on our website as a supporting organization or business, and garner special recognition for our Coalition Partners.
  • Donations - In addition to memberships, NCSF can always use donations. NCSF is comprised of two separate corporate entities - the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the NCSF Foundation. Although both the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the NCSF Foundation are part of the same overall organization, it is necessary to have two separate organizations to enable us to do the broad range of work we do. Supporters of NCSF can choose to make a contribution to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, the NCSF Foundation, or both. A contribution to either organization will be used to support and promote the NCSF mission. Donors who wish to make a tax-deductible gift can do so by contributing to the NCSF Foundation. Many donors choose to make membership gifts in support of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom as well as tax-deductible gifts to the NCSF Foundation.
  • Volunteer - We encourage people to consider donating one of their most important assets to NCSF - their time. Whether someone wants to work behind the scenes or take a more public role, we have a project just right for them. There are important tasks to be done and we always need help to make it all happen.

Shop NCSF

NCSF has a number of branded products that you can purchase. Profits from the sale of these products go directly to work helping NCSF do the important work we do. 

 

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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
1st Quarter, 2013

In this issue

NCSF's Coalition Partners Join Together for Consent Summit

Meet the Board

NCSF presents at Yale Law School's RebLaw

NCSF Launches Fire Recovery Fund

Testing the Waters

Coalition Corner

Representing on FetLife


NCSF's Coalition Partners Join Together for Consent Summit

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partner meeting in Phoenix, Arizona from February 8-10, 2013. The Consent Summit took place Friday evening, and Coalition Partners were able to participate via streaming video to give their input on the new Consent Statement. Go to www.ncsfreedom.org to see the Consent Statement and comment on it.

"The Consent Statement is now launched to the BDSM-leather-Fetish communities for input until July 1st," says Judy Guerin, Director of Consent Counts. "This statement outlines the current legal climate in regards to BDSM practices, and describes the ethical responsibilities of kinky people, as well. The Consent Statement will be used to change assault laws so that consensual BDSM won't be mistaken for assault."

One focus of the weekend was how to move forward now that a fire has destroyed the NCSF office. An emergency fund drive is underway to raise money to replace what was lost in the fire. Please help us reach our goal! 

https://www.wepay.com/donations/ncsf-fire-recovery-fund 

The new board of directors voted in Kevin Carlson as Chairman, Mark Richards as Secretary, and John Baku as Treasurer. The CPs also heard reports on NCSF projects and some of the stats include:

Incident Reporting and Response received nearly 500 calls for help
The Kink Aware Professionals list is up to nearly 1,200 professionals
The Media Outreach Project gave over 60 interviews
Over 600 NCSF Facebook page members and nearly 5,000 twitter followers
98 Coalition Partners!

Friday evening's Pizza Meet & Greet was sponsored by the AZ TNG, while lunch Saturday was sponsored by FetLife and lunch on Sunday at the APEX BBQ was sponsored by AZ Men of Leather. NCSF thanks APEX for welcoming CP representatives, NCSF board members and staff to their APEX Dungeon Party on Saturday night, and at their Sunday afternoon BBQ and NCSF Meet & Greet. NCSF also thanks Kelly Beaton, Master Bleu Sadist, slave alena girl, and Karen for volunteering and helping out in all sorts of necessary ways at the meeting!

NCSF helps you, so please help us in our time of need! Support us by becoming a member or donating today!

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Meet the Board

After our elections at the annual meeting and an executive session that included appointing members, the Board of NCSF currently consists of:

Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID
Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY
John Baku - Treasurer - Vancouver, BC
Race Bannon - San Francisco, CA
Laura Carlson - Boise, ID
Jim Fleckenstein - Manassas, VA
Leigha Fleming - Fort Worth, TX
Vivienne Kramer - San Diego, CA 
Mercury - Nashville, TN
Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
Julian Wolf - Albuquerque, NM 
Susan Wright - Phoenix, AZ 

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NCSF presents at Yale Law School's RebLaw (Rebellious Lawyering) Conference

by Judy 

 Over 150 attendees packed the room at Yale Law School's 19th annual RebLaw (Rebellious Lawyering) Conference, the nation's largest student-run public interest conference, for a panel discussion which included NCSF.  The discussion, "Safe Words?  Legal Restrictions on Consent and Radical Sex" was conducted by three panelists:  Judy Guerin, NCSF's Consent Count's Director, Ignacio Rivera, a two-spirit gender fluid kinkster whose work focuses on queer, trans, kink and sexual liberation issues within a race/class dynamic and Alexis Agathocieous, a staff attorney at the Center for Constitutional Rights who has worked on a successful case fighting a Louisiana law that required sex workers to register in the state's sex offender database.  The panel was facilitated by Yale Law students Adrien A. Weibgen and Ryan Richard Thoreson.

The discussion was heavily focused on the issue of consent in the context of BDSM relationships and prosecution of BDSM as both assault and, more recently, under Federal trafficking laws.  A connection between prosecution of sex workers and BDSM practitioners under Federal trafficking laws was discussed.  The discussion also included a focus on the religious political extremists strategy to discredit the GLBTQ movement by tying it to practitioners of alternative sexuality.  The fact that sodomy laws, although overturned by the 2003 Lawrence v. Texasdecision, as well as other antiquated sex laws, are still on the books in many states and are still being used to prosecute people was highlighted.  NCSF introduced its recent statement on consent and its summary of the legal situation related to BDSM assault prosecutions, "Consent and BDSM:  The State of the Law", as well as some of its recent survey results and examples of BDSM prosecutions for consensual BDSM.

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NCSF Launches Fire Recovery Fund

The NCSF office in Baltimore, MD, was destroyed in a fire a few weeks ago. We've lost everything: computer, office supplies and furnishings, tee shirts, and all of our stored printed literature are gone. The Board of Directors along with our Coalition Partners and dedicated volunteers are working hard to recover from this tragedy, but much of that recovery takes money.

As part of the recovery effort, NCSF has launched the NCSF Fire Recovery Fund campaign with a goal of raising $20,000 to help us get back up and running so that we can continue to do the important work we do for the BDSM-leather-fetish, swing and polyamory communities.

We are asking anyone who is able to donate to the NCSF Fire Recovery Fund drive:

 https://www.wepay.com/donations/ncsf-fire-recovery-fund 

 Donations are tax deductible!

And whether you are able to donate or not, we would appreciate you getting the word out about the fundraising campaign. If you visit the fund donation page linked to above, you'll see icons that allow you to share the page on Facebook, Google+, Twitter and through email. Please share with your network and encourage them to donate.

 
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Testing the Waters....
by Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn
 
"Testing the Waters" is a column that will take an in-depth look at different parts and pieces of the NCSF.  It is designed to let you 'test the water' so you can get a feel for how things work, what they mean, and how you fit in.Being a Coalition Partner:  More than a Fundraiser 

Some organizations have been NCSF Coalition Partners for as long as the NCSF has been around, and many of them will say:  being a CP means holding a fundraiser.


Yes, and then, no.


The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom exists just as it says - as a coalition of people and organizations who believe in sexual freedom for everyone.  Our Coalition Partners come to the organization charged to do really, just two things - to fundraise and more importantly - to participate.


The range of programs and services at the NCSF evolved as people just like you showed they were needed.  When parties get busted, or people come out to picket events, contacting the NCSF is often the first phone call that gets made.  When individuals in crisis call, NCSF responders are often the first understanding and sympathetic voice the caller will hear.  We continued to maintain the Kink Aware Professionals list after founder Race Bannon was looking for another entity to take over because our partners spoke up and said it was important to keep the service going.


It is the 'speaking out' that is the most important function of a Coalition Partner.  The NCSF is only as good as our partners' ability to bring to the table the real needs of our community.  Protecting and advancing our sexual freedom will mean many different things to different Coalition Partners.  Remember, the NCSF advocates for Swing and Polyamory communities as well as the BDSM/Kink communities.  That diversity is why Consent Counts is at the very core of work being done by the NCSF.  It matters to everyone.  


At the past Coalition Partners meeting, someone referred to "50 Shades of Grey" as the BDSM/Kink communities' "Stonewall".  Stonewall was a bar in New York where gay men first fought back from police oppression and aggression.  It is often pointed to as the event that started the GLBT rights movement.  While often these types of defining events have roots in fighting back, they don't all have to be negative.  The overwhelming world interest in "50 Shades of Grey" threw back the shroud that has hovered around BDSM practices for centuries.  It drew the interest of the world because it blazed a light on sexual practices that have been considered taboo.  If it has opened the door to less oppression, greater inclusion, fewer custody cases, and less police and legal interaction in the BDSM community - then indeed - "50 Shades of Grey" IS our Stonewall --- and we can feel blessed that it lacked the violence.


Coalition Partners bring this level of community thinking to a single table.  They bring concerns, problems and opportunities for all of us to consider as we safeguard our sexual freedom.  The depth and breadth of the NCSF sits in the lap of every Coalition Partner.  When you talk about the issues, the problems, and the services needed to keep your local community vibrant, risk averse, and cohesive, realize that when you advance those thoughts to the NCSF through a Coalition Partner, you have helped contribute to a larger network that can make a difference.  That is the real gift that Coalition Partners bring to the NCSF...as well as that annual fundraiser.

 

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Coalition Corner  

Thank you to all the Coalition Partners and Coalition Partner Representatives that attended our Annual Meeting last month! 
FIST
Kevin Carlson
New Mexico Leather League
James Huesmann
New England Leather Alliance
MOB New England
STL3
NOBLE
CPI/The Mark
Judy Guerin-Cunningham
MSDB
Rob and Leenie
International Ms Leather
Fetlife
NLA-Dallas
 
We also want to thank everyone who attended virtually and those who continue to support us across the country. 
Would you like to have your organization featured? Please contact Julian via   This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
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Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Return to Top

 

 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
4th Quarter, 2012

In this issue

NCSF 2013 Coalition Partner Meeting in Phoenix

Scholarships Available for Annual Meeting

Support from a Leather Bar

Meet Your Board: Candidates for Reelection

Foundation Liaison to Present at Poly Living

Coalition Corner

Representing on FetLife


 NCSF 2013 Coalition Partner Meeting in Phoenix, Arizona, on February 8-10

 

Please mark this date in your calendars.

 

In order to make reservations at the Drury Inn & Suites Phoenix Airport and get the group rate of $109, please reference group #2151272 when you call 800-325-0720 or go online at www.druryhotels.com

 

Join us for our summit on the proposed NCSF Statement on Consent on Friday evening, 7-9pm at the Drury Inn. All CP reps who can't make it to the meeting may participate via video conferencing. The Consent Statement will be released in advance of the meeting, but this will be the time to give a final yeah or nay to it before our official launch.

 

There will be a big party at Arizona Power Exchange (APEX) on Saturday evening that attendees of the CPmeeting may attend, however APEX requires that you become a member at least 24 hours in advance. We can sign up everyone who wants to attend on Friday evening before 8pm. APEX provides a New Member 30-day all access pass for $20.00 for 30 days which would include the party admission (which is $15.00 alone). APEX also extends reciprocal membership privileges to members of Desert Dominion, Lair De Sade North, Ohio SMART, Denver Sanctuary, Society of Janus and Threshold.

 

APEX has also invited everyone to their monthly BBQ on Sunday starting at noon. It's a great way to meet the local community and relax after the annual meeting.  

 

February in Arizona is a beautiful time for golf, swimming, sight-seeing and shopping. If you're coming in on Thursday and want to get involved in some fun on Friday during the day, please contact Susan to discuss the options we'll be organizing:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

 

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Scholarships Available for Annual Meeting

 

Each year, the NCSF offers limited scholarships money that is available to active coalition parter representatives and key volunteers. If you are interested in applying for a scholarship, or contributing to the scholarship fund, please contact us via  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

 

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Support from a Leather Bar

 

On November 30th, the Dallas Eagle proudly held a fundraiser to show it's support
for NCSF.
 
The fundraiser, entitled 7 Deadly Sins was held in conjunction with the Mr and Ms
Texas Leather 2013 meet and greet held at the Dallas Eagle.

Over 30 items were donated by various individuals, groups and local businesses
with themed items of a "deadly sin."

Although the fundraiser only lasted 2 hours, it raised awareness to those who attended and
resulted in $1000.00 raised via a silent auction.

Did you have a fundraiser for the NCSF that you'd like to share? Let us know! Email  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
 


Meet Your Board: Candidates for Reelection 
 
Jim Fleckenstein is a polyamory/non-exclusive relationships educator, researcher and activist.  He co-founded the Institute for 21st Century Relationships, now the Foundation of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), in 2000.  A founder and former board chair of the Chesapeake Polyamory Network, he has been a polyamory and open lifestyles activist since 1998, has spoken extensively, including many Poly Living conferences and at the annual Poly Pride event in New York City, and has been interviewed by The Chicago Tribune, the Guardian(UK), and on TV and radio.
 
He holds a bachelor's degree with honors in Mass Communications and Politics and Public Affairs (double major) from the University of Miami, and is pursuing a Master of Public Health degree at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.  He is a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), and the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS).
 
A recognized expert, Jim has been chosen to present on poly-related topics at six AASECT and SSSS conferences, and was invited to author the Polyamory section of the U.S. chapter of theContinuum Complete International Encyclopedia of Sexuality.  He is a current member of the NCSF Board, and served as co-editor of their booklet, What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory.  He is collaborating with sociologist and author Dr. Curtis Bergstrand on research into the polyamorous community, currently working on an analysis of the largest survey ever conducted among self-identified relationally non-exclusive.persons.
 
Before entering his work as an activist, educator and researcher in non-traditional relationships, Jim enjoyed a very successful 28 year career as an executive in the non-profit sector, and held the prestigious Certified Association Executive credential for 24 years.
 
Why are you running for reelection?
 
I want to continue my NCSF Board service in order to continue working on the DSM Project, ongoing outreach to the therapeutic and sexuality education communities, and to work on increased outreach to the polyamorous and swinging communities within NCSF's constituencies.
 
 _____
 
At the turn of the century, Julian Wolf discovered and quickly became involved with the alternative community. Participating and performing at her first event, she quickly found her passion for service. 
 
In 2003 she co-founded New Mexico: the Next Generation (NM:TNG) and ran the business of the group as Chairman for seven years before stepping down before her 30th birthday. Julian served as the first Ms. Rio Grande Leather (2004) and has assisted with every annual conference in various capacities. In 2005, the New Mexico Leather League (NMLL) was formed. A charter, and still current member, Julian served on the board for five consecutive terms. In 2006, she won Albuquerque Pride's title of "Ms New Mexico Pride" and met or exceeded the goals for that year. In 2008, Julian took a position as Administrative Assistant with Equality New Mexico (EQNM), New Mexico's statewide LGBT advocacy organization and served full time until she left in good standing.
 
As a wordsmith, Julian wrote Carnal Conundrums, a Sex Positive Advice Column for New Mexico launched online in early 2009, is a freelance writer, and is contributes both a column (the Hedonist Dandy) and the occasional article for Fearless Press. In 2010, she also started working on-call for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF). Julian is also a educator; offering classes and workshops locally, internationally, and as a member of the Kink Academy faculty, virtually. 
 
An egalitarian sadomasochistic dandy, Julian is a heavy switch who loves to play and has a particular affinity for impact in addition to fetishes for feet and hair. Julian looks to surround herself with fun loving, intelligent people who know how to ask for what they want and are serious about their passions. Please feel free to peruse www.JulianWolf.net to learn more.
 
Why are you running for reelection?
 
I feel that I have much more to do. My first term on the NCSF board was greatly training, and I was recently given the go ahead to spearhead several projects, and I look forward to managing these. In the upcoming term, I am hoping to expand our newsletter, maintain a regular schedule for media updates utilizing volunteers, broaden our base of contributing writers, and continue outreach to NCSF constituents, and potential members. 
_____
 
Professionally, Kevin Carlson owned and ran a multi state property management company for 10 years with 200 plus employees.  He worked with the company for over 20 years and sold the company due to the nature of the industry trends at that point in time. 
 
He started a contracting business, doing a mix of residential and commercial renovations. 
During one of those contracts he was working for a private school and they offered me the facility management position to run the buildings, computers, major remodeling as owners rep working to keep contracts on schedule and on budget with the general contractors. He also managed four servers and over 200 workstations, including WAN connectivity for them.  
 
After leaving them, Kevin went back into contracting, still working with residential and small commercial jobs.
 
In addition to the above, from the age of 20, he has consulted and assisted small businesses with computer management and planning. This included simple maintenance, long term planning, and server installation. 

 
Kevin's Non Profit History

  • Idaho Retriever Club. Active member for over 25 years, doing jobs from bird steward, grounds management, scheduling and Treasurer.
  • Involved with several Fair Housing agencies while employed with the property management company.
  • Ducks Unlimited. Active for over 10 years, supportive member, assisted with one of the ladies chapters from a background standpoint in their annual event. This event turned out to be one of the largest fund raisers for DU that year. I was also Treasurer for one of the larger local chapters for 2 years.
  • BBDSMS, Inc. (Boise BDSM Society). Member since 2002, a founding member. I have held several offices and positions over the years. This included Secretary, Events Coordinator for over 4 years, instructor and general support.  I am involved with both short term and long term management. 
  • Boise Pride. Providing background support to the management. Grounds planning, safety concerns, set up, tear down, long term planning. Currently, on the board of directors and holds the position of Events Coordinator.
  • The Community Center (TCC). Joined the Board of Directors in December 2008, assisted with rewriting of their bylaws
  • NCSF - Board Member for 4 years, currently running the KAP program and IT Director, focusing on timely responses and expansion to both the professional that may want to list on the data base and also to the end user. Worked with Laura Carlson and Leigha Fleming drafting the revisions of the 501c (4) bylaws. Always willing to do more to make NCSF even better.

 

Why are you running for reelection?

Generally, I consider myself a well rounded person. I enjoy what I do. My focus in the communities is on acceptance and bringing the voice of acceptance to all. A big part of what is going to provide acceptance is education to those who may not be aware. Without education, tolerance is out of the question. We are just people like anyone else, with jobs, families, friends and all those bills. I believe in the voice of the NCSF and its activities to further acceptance for all.
 
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Foundation Liaison to Present at Poly Living Conference 

Although he'd love to be in Phoenix for the Annual CP Meeting, NCSF board member and NCSF Foundation liaison Jim Fleckenstein will be in Philadelphia that weekend instead.  Jim will be presenting at the annual Poly Living Conference, sponsored by the Loving More nonprofit, and representing NCSF at this major annual gathering of the polyamory community.  Jim will be presenting on the results of the largest ever survey of the non-exclusive relationship community, an effort sponsored by Loving More and endorsed by NCSF.  NCSF's outreach to the polyamory community is an essential part of our overall mission to support all of our constituencies, and unfortunately, the revised dates of the CP meeting coincided with this major polyamory community event.  "I regret having to miss the CP meeting this year, " Fleckenstein noted, "but this continuing commitment to reach out to the polyamory community is a very important priority for NCSF and for me personally."

 

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Coalition Corner  

Are you or your group a Coalition Partner of the NCSF? We'd love to feature you in our newsletter! Coalition Corner is designed as a both a thank you and a way to introduce our constituents to the voting members of our organization. 
 
The interview process is simple. Our newsletter organizer Julian Wolf sends your CP Representative an email with four questions, and once answered, you're all set! Our newsletter reaches thousands of inboxes and can be read anytime on our website; it's a great way to get the word out about your organization.  
 
Would you like to have your organization featured? Please contact Julian via This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
Return to Top

Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Return to Top

 

Published in Newsletters
NCSF Newsletter
3rd Quarter, 2012

In this issue

NCSF 2013 Coalition Partner Meeting in Phoenix

Representing on FetLife

International Swingers Day

NCSF at FetFest

Coalition Corner

Meet Your Board! 


NCSF 2013 Coalition Partner Meeting in Phoenix, Arizona, on February 8-10 

 Please mark this date in your calendars!

 

In order to make reservations at the Drury Inn & Suites Phoenix Airport and get the group rate of $109, please reference group #2151272 when you call 800-325-0720 or go online at www.druryhotels.com

 

There will be a big party at APEX on Saturday evening that attendees of the CP meeting may attend, however APEX requires that you become a member at least 24 hours in advance. We can sign up everyone who wants to attend at the Meet & Greet at the Drury Inn on Friday evening before 8pm. APEX provides a New Member 30-day all access pass for $20.00 for 30 days which would include the party admission (which is $15.00 alone). APEX also extends reciprocal membership privileges to members of Desert Dominion, Lair De Sade North, Ohio SMART, Denver Sanctuary, Society of Janus and Threshold.

 

February in Arizona is a beautiful time for golf, swimming, sight-seeing and shopping. If you're coming in on Thursday and want to get involved in some fun on Friday during the day, please contact Susan to discuss the options we'll be organizing:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

 

Return to Top


Representing on FetLife 

  

Find the NCSF on the world's most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

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International Swingers Day 2012

 

The "World's Largest Lifestyle Holiday" was held at the exclusive clothing optional resort, Caliente Caribe and this year, the NCSF was well represented! Our Board Chair Leigha Fleming was invited to present as part of the educational offerings at the event. I sat down with Lucinda Brown, our office manger who also attended. I asked her a few questions about ISD and her experience. 
 
What is "International Swingers Day?"
 
It was a conference that focused on training and educational growth for the leaders of the swing lifestyle industry. 
 
For the first time, ISD also featured parties and activities, really taking advantage of the resort atmosphere! Where was it located this year? 
 

Just over an hour outside of Puerto Plata, in the Dominican Republic.

 

What classes did you offer?

 

Leigha taught Swing Groups and ZoningProtecting Yourself Legally, Swing Groups and Law Enforcement, and SM101.

 

Were you able to attend any other classes, and if so, what did you think?

 

They are extremely professional, well organized and very business/sales adept.  

 

That sounds like a blast! What was your favorite part of the event?

My favorite part was how welcoming, warm, and friendly this group was.  It was incredible to see the light bulbs going off in their heads as NCSF presented on legal, zoning, and ethical issues. I also felt great about the networking connections made, and the enthusiasm exhibited by the attendees to "do it right."  

 

Thank you Lucinda for your work, and for taking the time to be interviewed. The NCSF aims to advance the rights of, and advocate for consenting adults in the BDSM-Leather-Fetish, Swing, and Polyamory Communities, and the work that you and Leigha did at International Swingers day helps us with those goals. 

 

If you are interested in having a representative from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom teach at one of your lifestle events, please contact us via  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  or call the office at (410) 539-4824.

 

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NCSF at FetFest
by Susan Wright

 

NCSF was loud and proud at FetFest this past Labor Day weekend, with lots of fundraisers and Consent Counts discussions scheduled with the various FetFest villages. John Baku of FetLife joined NCSF to talk about consent with the Poly Village on Friday evening, the Goddess & FemDom Villages at their Saturday morning Champagne Brunch, the Hypnosis Village at Saturday Munch, and the open consent discussion in the Dungeon Tent on Sunday afternoon.

 

NCSF also gives a big thanks to everyone who helped organize and run the fundraisers. Everyone had a great time and raised a lot of money-in all, $3,120 went to NCSF.  From the Cigars, Boots and Chocolates party on Friday evening, to the Bouncytown treat boxes, to the World Record in Needles, everyone came out and supported NCSF. NCSF also thanks Paul, Simon and the great staff of FetFest who enabled us to raise some much-needed funds.

 

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Coalition Corner  

Are you or your group a Coalition Partner of the NCSF? We'd love to feature you in our newsletter! Coalition Corner is designed as a both a thank you and a way to introduce our constituents to the voting members of our organization. 
 
The interview process is simple. Our newsletter organizer Julian Wolf sends your CP Representative an email with four questions, and once answered, you're all set! Our newsletter reaches thousands of inboxes and can be read anytime on our website; it's a great way to get the word out about your organization.  
 
Would you like to have your organization featured? Please contact Julian via  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
 
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Meet Your Board! 
Returning Member- Jim Fleckenstein     

 

1) Do you have a history of activism and community involvement? 

Yes.  I was a co-founder of the Chesapeake Polyamory Network in 1998, and founded the Institute for 21st Century Relationships, which is now the NCSF Foundation, in 2000.  I've also been involved in swing organizations as a consultant.

2) What specialties do you bring to the board? 

I enjoyed a 28 year career in non-profit organization management, including development, marketing, volunteer development, event planning, and education.  I also bring the perspective of a person rooted in the polyamory community, with crossover knowledge of the swinging and kink communities.  I'm also a respected academic researcher and community-based educator who has presented at numerous American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors & Therapists conferences, and also at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.


3) What inspired you to become involved in NCSF? 

NCSF is an established organization with a broad constituency.  I worked with NCSF while I ran ITCR as an independent organization because we served overlapping constituencies.  I was very pleased to bring my portfolio to the NCSF board to help advance its mission and broaden its outreach to other constituencies within the broad spectrum of sexual and relationship minorities.

Jim is our Foundation Liaison and you can email your board member at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

 

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  • Helps hundreds of people every year who need assistance because of their consensual BDSM, swinging, or polyamory interests and activities.
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About Incident Reporting & Response

The NCSF Incident Reporting &  Response (IRR) program provides assistance to individuals and groups within the alternative sexual expression communities who become victimized because of SM, leather, fetish, or swing practices.

Program Goals:
NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response
was created to provide assistance to individuals and groups within the BDSM, swinging and poly communities who are experiencing discrimination or needs assistance because of their interests and activities.
Contacts:

Incident@ncsfreedom.org 
Request For Assistance Form
Emergency Number: (917) 848-6544

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