When we applied for a street fair permit for an outdoor leather
festival, we were met with tremendous opposition from a very vocal
member of the local community board, implying that Leather people
belong behind closed doors and out of the public eye where children and
others could see them. Not knowing how to handle this, I immediately
contacted the NCSF for their help in this matter. After speaking with
Susan Wright at the NCSF, I was more than armed with important
information and a long list of our rights, feeling ready to face not
only the community board but the local press with confidence and
Because of a ten minute conversation the NCSF, not only were we awarded the street fair permit for the event, but the community board voted unanimously in our favor. In addition, the NCSF made sure they were on hand at the Leather weekend, meeting with the media, making sure we came off looking good in the public light.
Our event could not have happened without the experience and support of the NCSF and we are very thankful an organization such as this exists.
New York Leather Weekend
A detailed look at this effective technique to get your point across.
Usually there is no graceful way to segue into a sound bite. That's fine, reporters are used to nonsensical conversations when they give interviews. Whatever the question, respond with one of your sound bites. Repeat these sound bites over and over. Out of a 1/2 long interview, you will be on the air for about 10 seconds or quoted once or twice in a newspaper. So don't ad lib. Keep repeating these sound bites below, as well as any sound bites you and your organization agree to provide to the media about your event or local group.
You don't have to get all these in, sometimes it's best to pick a few and keep repeating them in different ways.
People involved in swinging in general are better educated about safe sex and sexual responsibility. Often these social events have educational components about consent, communication, as well as safe sex education.
Millions of Americans are looking for a way to add a bit more spice to their sex life. The Lifestyle can be a consensual, safe, and fun way to strengthen and build healthy, caring relationships.
Most adults who engage in swinging keep their sexual practices private. Unfortunately these people have experienced persecution, and even discrimination and child custody challenges because of the way they express their sexuality.
The fact is that millions of Americans engage in swinging, and it is National Coalition for Sexual Freedom's mission to make sure that they can do so, without fear of harassment, violence, or discrimination.
You really have to wonder what motivates people who would go to such extraordinary lengths to sensationalize someone else's private life. It's obvious that sex makes some people uncomfortable, and we think that these people should deal with their own issues.
As long as it's consenting adults in a private space, it is no one else's business.
This is not about sex, this is about a threat to our most basic constitutional rights - freedom of assembly and the right to privacy. (The 1st and 9th Amendments - the 9th grants freedom not specified, and numerous court cases in the past 40 years, including Lawrence v. Texas have confirmed an individual's right to privacy)
If one group can shut down a private, legal event because they disagree with it, then everyone should be concerned about who is targeted next. Will it be a political convention? A religious gathering? As we've seen throughout history, when you start violating one group's constitutional rights, it can become a very slippery slope
Everyone should be concerned about attacks on people's personal lifestyle because a small religious organization is using scare tactics to impose its way of thinking on everyone.
Conferences like these are held every weekend in communities around the country without any incidents. Clubs like these are legally located in communities around the country.
Swing conferences and events are run by local people. The guests are your neighbors and your co-workers. They are mothers and fathers.
Swing conferences/clubs are legal. They are private. They are for adults only.
Swinging is the complete opposite of irresponsible promiscuity. The Lifestyle involves couples consensually sharing playful, loving life experiences--sexual and otherwise.
Research shows that most Americans support privacy rights for consenting adults to choose and practice safe, sane and consensual sexual loving relationships, regardless of marital status.
Of course many people prefer monogamy and aren't interested in developing intimate relationships with more than one person. Swingers aren't trying to convert anyone. We are adults living our lives how we choose, and no one has the right to dictate our personal choices.
People involved in swinging tend to get a lot of experience with communicating their desires, feelings, and boundaries. It's well-established that good communication builds healthy relationships.
The Lifestyle can meet more of one's emotional, intellectual, and sexual needs through accepting that one person cannot provide everything.
Positive elements to swinging: increased personal freedom; greater depth to social relationships; the potential for sexual exploration in a non-judgmental setting; a strengthening of spousal bonds; a sense of being desired; a feeling of belongingness; added companionship; a greater abundance of love; increased self-awareness; intellectual variety; and the chance for new aspects of personality to emerge through relating to more people.
People who decide to open their relationship to include others must be secure in the strength of their partnership bond, and comfortable in developing relationships with new people.
Jealousy is a natural emotion and is a signal that additional communication and negotiation must occur in order to keep the relationship healthy.
Bergstrand, Curtis and Jennifer B. Williams, "Today's Alternate Marriage Styles: The Case of Swingers,"
The Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality October 10, 2000.
Jenks, Richard J., "Swinging: A Review of the Literature,"
Archives of Sexual Behavior, 1998, 27:5, p 507.
Kink Aware Professionals is a service offered by NCSF dedicated to providing the community with referrals to psychotherapeutic, medical, legal and other professionals who are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality.
NCSF Board Member