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Study Could Explain Why People Choose To Have Multiple Relationships At The Same Time

on Saturday, 20 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Science Blog

Led by researchers at York University’s Faculty of Health, the study found there may be unique benefits to diversifying needs across partners when in a polyamorous relationship: experiencing more eroticism and nurturance with one partner was associated with satisfaction and closeness in a concurrent relationship. In addition, this study shows individuals who experience higher levels of eroticism and nurturance also report greater sexual satisfaction and closeness with their partners.

19 04 20

Porn researchers give media boost

on Thursday, 18 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

Have ever read science claiming that pornography is addictive because it “burns out your dopamine”, then been confused because you cannot find a diagnosis for “porn addiction” in either the World Health Organization or American Psychiatric Association? You are not alone.

In the last five years, anti-pornography groups have spent millions of dollars marketing fake science to consumers, then profit by selling untested therapies, anti-pornography apps, and books. This stops now.

Scientists and therapists who are experts in human sexuality have come together to provide accurate information to the public in www.realyourbrainonporn.com. The website introduces the basic principles of science, links to studies summarized by the professors who wrote them (www.realyourbrainonporn.com/research), then links you to dozens of scientists and therapists ready to connect (www.realyourbrainonporn.com/experts). These experts include the principle investigator for the first research-based porn literacy curriculum for youth, the first person to coin the expression “sex positive”, the first neuroscience lab to test the addiction model of pornography, and the lab that demonstrated porn did not impact partner satisfaction in the largest pre-registered, failure-to-replicate in the field. Experts’ background includes terminal degrees in addictions, communications and media, sociology, psychology, neuroscience, and physiology, amongst others.

If you have ever read news about pornography and thought it sounded a little too breathless, a bit over the top, or possibly completely fabricated, you are the majority. It is time to correct this public misinformation. Now you have a free resource to share with others!

NCSF Thanks! – 1st Quarter Donation Report

on Wednesday, 17 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

Thank you to Leather SINS, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $10,000 to NCSF at Kinky Kollege Spring Break in Chicago on March 31st! 

NCSF thanks Dark Odyssey Winter Fire for raising $6,550 specifically for NCSF at our annual reception, and an additional $7,866 was raised for all three beneficiaries—NCSF, Network La/Red and the Baltimore Transgender Alliance. 

NCSF thanks Jaiya, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $1,670 to the NCSF Foundation altogether in the first quarter of 2019! 

NCSF thanks Mistress Lucille, an NCSF Supporting Member, for donating $1,500 raised at Lucille Ballbuster's Birthday Bash in January.  

Thank you to New Mexico Leather League, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $1,051 as their annual CP fundraiser in January. 

Thank you to Marc DePaul for donating $1,000 to the NCSF Foundation in February! 

NCSF thanks James Dunyak, NCSF’s New England Advocate, for donating $800 to the NCSF Foundation since December 2018! 

Thank you Adventures in Sexuality, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $395 that was raised in their “Special Drawing” at Winter Wickedness in February. Thank you also to the attendees for donating $213 at the NCSF table for our Coffee & Consent service. A grand total of $608 was raised for NCSF at this year’s Winter Wickedness!

NCSF thanks Modern Tribe Counseling, an NCSF Coalition Partner which provides in person and distance counseling for our community in GA and FL, for donating $250 for the SouthEast Consent Summit.

NCSF thanks Ms. Martha's Corset Shoppe for donating $250 to our SouthEast Consent Summit in February.

Thank you to NLA Dallas, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $187 in December as their Coalition Partner fundraiser.

Thank you to Sanctuary Studios for donating $131 in December to NCSF.

Thank you to Jaeleen Bennis and Bondassage for donating $100 to NCSF in February.

NCSF thanks The HardPink Sisterhood for donating $100 to the NCSF Foundation on February 11, 2019 that is dedicated to the support of the SouthEast Consent Summit.

NCSF thanks Joel Gleason for donating $100 to the NCSF Foundation's SouthEast Consent Summit.

Incident Reporting & Response – 1st Quarter 2019 report

on Wednesday, 17 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response received 41 reports & requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in January, February and March 2019. This is down by over half compared to the 87 requests received in the 1st Quarter of 2018.

NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help, however we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest.

Here is a breakdown of the cases we dealt with in the 1st Quarter of 2019:

Groups

24 groups requested assistance, slightly up from the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 7 groups were asking about presenters/organizers or reporting they had banned someone
• 5 groups asked for resources on dealing with a consent incident or proactively creating a consent policy or consent team for their event
• 3 people asked about how to deal with being banned by a group
• 2 groups needed information on dealing with defamation lawsuits
• 2 groups reported being outed to their landlord/HOA
• 1 group needed information about insurance
• 1 group reported discrimination when their hotel broke their contract
• 1 group needed release form language regarding law enforcement officers attending
• 1 group asking about nudity/sexually explicit materials
• 1 group needed a KAP attorney for incorporation and zoning

Professional

There were 8 requests by professionals or for referrals to kink and polyamory aware professionals, similar to the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 5 people needed referrals to kink and polyamory aware professionals, including an expert witness
• 3 professionals needed resources, research or journal references

Civil

4 requests, compared to 6 requests in the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 3 involved workplace discrimination because of kink or nonmonogamy
• 1 sex worker asked for a referral for an incorporation attorney

Criminal

There were 3 requests for resources and information involving criminal legal matters, down from 16 requests in the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 3 people requested resources and referrals for attorneys to assist in defending themselves against accusations of assault, violating Restraining Order, or involving their appeal.

Child Custody

There were 2 requests for resources and referrals for family court attorneys, down from 5 in the 4th Quarter and 11 in the 3rd Quarter of 2018:

• 1 involved a parent who is a sex worker
• 1 involved a parent who is polyamorous

 

Taking the Taboo out of Minority Groups

on Monday, 15 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

Listen to Poly Anna's Conversation: Four with Susan Wright, Founder of the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom!

Poly Anna is bi and polyamorous. She believes conversation has the power to redefine what most consider "normal." Take the taboo out of perceptions about minority groups with Conversations/S3xploration with Poly Anna on Tuesdays, and with The After Chat with Poly Anna on Thursdays.

#NCSF #ConsentCounts #MeToo #WithPolyAnna #PolySwing #PolyAnna

Guest Blog: What do relationship anarchy and total power exchange have in common?

on Friday, 12 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline

by Tiro

I can never stay in Facebook groups for “alternative relationship styles” like polyamory or relationship anarchy for more than a few weeks before I ragequit, and it’s usually for the same reason: I mention that I’m in a D/s relationship, and I get frustrated when people say it’s impossible for me to live as a slave and still “really” practice relationship anarchy (RA).

After all, the more cogent of these attacks goes, how can you be committed to power exchange in a relationship if you’re also committed to abolishing the structures of power? Doesn’t RA specifically speak against the kind of sexualization of power and obligation that is central to D/s?

RA doesn’t have to be about striving for nobody to have any power over anyone else. In fact, I’d argue that this goal is not only unobtainable in any kind of society, it also fails to take into account the shared reason-giving and obligations that make up material life with any other person involved. What matters, at least as I understand it, is not that nobody has the right to hold anyone else to an obligation, it’s that when we give each other obligations we do so in an explicit, negotiated way. RA isn’t about removing power structures entirely, it’s about only developing power structures that everyone who is affected by them can directly, freely consent to being a part of, and can renegotiate or leave whenever they need to. It’s about starting from the principles of liberation and equality, and making all the ways that power flows in relationships explicit so that everyone can agree to them.

This way of thinking about RA is radical because it takes the idea of power and brings it into the foreground when we negotiate our boundaries within relationships. Power structures are often hidden to those who benefit from them, and painfully clear to those who are oppressed by them. RA rejects this, and pulls power out of the social contexts that allow it to remain hidden and destructive to individuals, relationships, and communities. So does D/s.

Have you noticed how Hollywood’s portrayal of kinky power exchange almost always has an older, male, materially successful Dominant and a younger, female, less successful submissive? Money and status are signifiers of an individual deserving their power and authority within society; that’s why they’re used by lazy directors and authors in content like Secretary and 50 Shades of Grey.

Society explains explicit power dynamics in terms of desert. If you have more money or material resources, if you’re more intelligent, if you have greater access to knowledge, then you deserve an elevated status in society and your power is greater than those below you. You have the power to make decisions and to ensure the outcome of those decisions in a way that others below you don’t, because you’ve earned it. Of course, even a brief glance at the way society is structured shows us that inequality touches our lives before we are even born. Unearned, undeserved wealth and power oozes through society; nobody achieves anything all by themselves.

In a consensual D/s relationship, between masters and slaves or owners and pets, power is not based on access to material resources or on some notion of deserving it through intelligence or hard work. Being a Dominant in a D/s relationship doesn’t require any justification with reference to society’s measures of who deserves to have power, the only conditions Dominants need to satisfy are negotiated with their submissives.

This makes D/s a radical approach to power. Like RA, D/s pulls power away from society’s frameworks, makes it explicit, and sets up new requirements to make the use of power ethical. Consent, negotiation, and mutual care are the key elements of ethical D/s.

Although RA’s goal is to minimize the asymmetry of power across all our relationships, and to dismantle hierarchies that privilege some ways of relating and loving about others, and the goal of total power exchange is to increase asymmetry within clear and consensual limits, both concepts have a lot in common. Both concepts radically deracinate power and provide an example of what life could look like if society stopped relying on the traditional ways of obfuscating and justifying power structures. For that reason, I call myself both a relationship anarchist and a slave: I am committed to destroying the explicit and covert power dynamics within vanilla society, and replacing them with relationships where everyone consents to how power is concentrated, and works towards an ever more mindful way of meshing our lives together.

 

Multiplicity of the Erotic (MOTE) conference

on Thursday, 11 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

We are pleased to announce the inaugural Multiplicity of the Erotic (MOTE) conference in Chicago on Friday, May 24, 2019, with special additional events the night before and the morning after. MOTE is an evolution of the former PASD/CARAS Alt Sex Conference, and will showcase the most cutting edge research and practices in the field of sexuality and sex therapy.

The theme of the first conference is Intersectionalities and Sexuality/Relationship Diversity.

So, Who Will Attend?
Sex researchers, sex therapists, health educators, professors, nurses, counselors, case managers, social workers, community organizers, sex nerds & many more…

To Register:
https://e.sparxo.com/mote-con

$185 for professionals, this also includes fee for CE credit
$90 for students and community members
$25 for Thursday night welcome / fundraiser

19 04 11

TX State Student Government debate removing conservative group after harassment allegation

on Tuesday, 09 April 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

CBS Austin

"The overtly posted agenda of Turning Point USA is to disrupt and dismantle liberal agendas in the classroom," Stone said. "As a person who teaches about sex and politics, I could easily be seen as a target."

19 04 09

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