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SF kink community grieves loss of Center for Sex and Culture: 'We've lost something enormous'

on Thursday, 31 January 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

SF Gate

"It was a really, really rich time throughout the 1990s," Queen said. "And the Center for Sex and Culture really holds that history as a piece of our legacy in a significant way."

One way the center kept that history alive was through its extensive and one-of-kind archive, which held an extraordinary collection of queer literature, sex-positive, trans, and leather histories. Lady Katerina, the head librarian for the Center for Sex and Culture, said the center had at least 8,000 books in the library alone.

19 01 30

SouthEast Consent Summit

on Saturday, 26 January 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

SouthEast Consent Summit on February 23-24, 2019 in Orlando, Florida.

Flyer NickieFuentes



Trump administration quietly changes definition of "domestic violence" and "sexual assault"

on Friday, 25 January 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates


“The previous definition included critical components of the phenomenon that experts recognize as domestic abuse — a pattern of deliberate behavior, the dynamics of power and control, and behaviors that encompass physical or sexual violence as well as forms of emotional, economic, or psychological abuse,” Nanasi explained.

But the Trump Justice Department’s definition only considers physical harm that constitutes a felony or misdemeanor to be domestic violence, meaning that other forms of domestic violence like psychological abuse and manipulation no longer fall under the DOJ’s definition.

BDSM and Polyamory

on Monday, 21 January 2019. Posted in NCSF in the News!, Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Firsthand looks at these lifestyle practices

Echo Magazine

The NCSF is a national organization whose mission is to fight for the sexual freedom and privacy rights for all adults who engage in safe, sane and consensual behavior. This often means educating professionals such as doctors, lawyers and the like about consensual kink practices. Recently, the organization has seen an uptick in people needing their help. Wright says much of that can be credited to discriminatory language that is now part of popular vernacular due to the current political climate.


Brothers in Leather: The Men of ONYX [Gallery]

on Saturday, 19 January 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Metro Weekly

Some people join strictly because they like the camaraderie and friendship, and sense of family that we exhibit. Some people join because they like the political aspect of our organization. Our organization is open to anyone who identifies as a gay or bisexual man of color, so that by definition includes trans men. One of the things that Onyx has done is try to take a role in advocating for equality of all people, regardless of their gender identification.


Waterboarding for Pleasure: When Kink Violates the Geneva Convention

on Friday, 18 January 2019. Posted in NCSF in the News!, Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Rolling Stone

“A lot of people aren’t aware of the care going into shooting these scenes,” says Tommy Pistol, who has shot a handful of waterboarding scenes (link NSFW) for “We know what we’re walking into, and we don’t want anyone to walk away hurt [or to] put their lives at risk. Everything we do is to a point. It’s a fantasy.” But the fact that these conversations may be edited out of the final cut can pose a problem for kinksters interested in trying this type of risky play at home (despite the presence of strongly worded disclaimers from Kink urging viewers against doing so).

Incident Reporting & Response – 4th Quarter 2018 report

on Tuesday, 15 January 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

By Susan Wright, Director of IRR 


NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response received 54 reports & requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in October, November and December, 2018. That is down from 62 in the 3rd Quarter, 76 in the 2nd Quarter, and 87 in the 1st Quarter of 2018.

279 reports and requests for help were received by NCSF in 2018. This is a significant increase compared to previous years:
• 170 requests in 2017
• 109 requests in 2016
• 198 requests in 2015
• 184 requests in 2014

NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help, however we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest.

Here is a breakdown of the cases we dealt with in the 4th Quarter of 2018:


20 groups needed assistance, similar to the 19 groups in the 3rd Quarter of 2018:

• 6 groups were asking about presenters/organizers or reporting they had banned someone
• 4 groups needed assistance with incorporation, by-laws or dealing with members
• 3 groups asked for resources on dealing with consent incident
• 2 groups reported discrimination when their hotel broke their contract and when a bank suspended their account
• 2 groups needed resources and sex-positive attorney lists for their members
• 1 group asked for resources after being sued for defamation by a former member
• 1 person needed assistance resolving a consent incident with their group
• 1 person protested being banned by a group


There were 16 requests for resources and information involving criminal legal matters, down from 22 requests in the 3rd Quarter:

• 9 of those requests came from people who reported an assault, sexual assault, stalking, sexual harassment, or were requests to educate prosecutors about consensual BDSM practices.
• 5 people requested resources and referrals for attorneys to assist in defending themselves against accusations of domestic violence, assault or involving their appeal or parole.
• 2 sex-positive business-owners needed help reporting crimes to the police after former employees embezzled and blackmailed them.


There were 7 requests by professionals or for referrals to kink and polyamory aware professionals compared to 2 in the 3rd Quarter of 2018:

• 4 people needed referrals to kink and polyamory aware health professionals
• 3 professionals needed resources or asked for a review of their writing


6 requests, compared to 8 requests in the 3rd Quarter of 2018:

• 2 involved Title IX issues for educators who discussed sex positive issues including BDSM
• 2 people reported being outed, one to work, and the other by their therapist
• 2 people needed attorneys to deal with civil legal matters.

Child Custody

There were 5 requests for resources and referrals for family court attorneys, down from 11 in the 3rd Quarter of 2018:

• 3 involved parents in polyamorous relationships
• 2 involved parents who practice BDSM

NCSF Thanks! – 4th Quarter Donation Report

on Monday, 14 January 2019. Posted in Front Page Headline, NCSF News

NCSF thanks Kinky Kollege Homecoming and Leather SINS, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $10,000 to NCSF at their conference in October!


Dark Odyssey partnered with NCSF at Surrender again this year to raise $6,411 for charity, including $2,337 for NCSF with $300 dedicated for our Consent Summits. A total of $2,037 was raised for the Woodhull Freedom Foundation’s ( FOSTA lawsuit and $2,037 for TransThrive (, a San Francisco organization providing medical services for transgendered youth. 


Thank you to Jaiya, a NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $465 to the NCSF Foundation in October and $435 in November and $400 in December for a total of $1,700.


Thank you to Extreme Restraints, a NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $1,500, a portion of which was raised on Giving Tuesday by sending out an article, Seduce with Consent.


Thank you to InnThrall, Seattle’s kinky B&B, for donating $1,000 to NCSF raised at their annual New Year’s Eve party as their Coalition Partner fundraiser.


Thank you to Arizona Power Exchange, a NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $740 from their October Bash, an annual event open to everyone to learn about consent, positive culture and diversity. NCSF is proud to partner with APEX in sponsoring Consent Month in September!


NCSF thanks James Dunyak, NCSF’s New England Advocate, for donating $600 to the NCSF Foundation this quarter, with a total of $1,600 donated this year!


NCSF Thanks Pup Bandit Productions and Mr. San Diego Leather Doriam for raising $450 for NCSF at A Night of Fantasies.


NCSF thanks The Red Chair for donating $302 as their annual Coalition Partner fundraiser in December.


Thank you to Anita Hoffer for donating $200 to NCSF in December.


NCSF Thanks Joseph & Mercedes Callahan for donating $200 to NCSF in December.


Thank you to the DC Sub Club, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $200 in January as their annual CP fundraiers.


NCSF thanks David K. Igasaki for donating $100 to the NCSF Foundation in October.


Thank you to MasT Boise for donating $90 as their annual Coalition Partner fundraiser in December.

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