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"Foot fetish like rigatoni foreplay like ..."

on Tuesday, 28 December 2010. Hits 411

The Trentonian

 Michelle Ryan's feet, and maybe — maybe — an online dating profile that would seem to indicate the Ryans may — may — dabble in the swingers

"More on Sex Blogger Kendra Holliday's Custody Challenge"

on Thursday, 23 December 2010. Hits 514

Riverfront Times

As we reported last week, Kendra Holliday, the woman behind one of St. Louis' raciest blogs, The Beautiful Kind, is facing what she calls "the worst thing imaginable" since revealing her true identity in a Riverfront Times profile.

Holliday's ex-husband is suing to modify the custody agreement they settled on for their ten-year-old child. They'd been splitting custody half-and-half since their 2003 divorce. ..

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is a Baltimore-based group that advocates on behalf of alternative sexuality. The NCSF's Susan Wright says that the group advises people with alternative preferences when they run across legal challenges based on their identities. They've been aware of Holliday's case for some time now.
The group tracks instances of people seeking their help and advocacy. Over the past few years, Wright says, NCSF logs about 500 such incidents each year, about a third of those concerning divorce and custody issues.

In about half of those, she says, the kinky parent is able to retain custody. "As of about five years ago, it was 80/20," in favor of the non-kinky parent, Wright says. She touts the coalition's outreach, better research and efforts to take kinky sexual behaviors out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the psychiatric bible that codifies what behaviors should be considered pathological -- and which shouldn't.

"Once you've had child custody challenged, the best way to respond is to gather materials to educate the family court about what the lifestyle is -- that it doesn't involve children, but involves consenting adults and negotiation," says Wright. "We try to take out the element of a person's sexual behavior."

The group also maintains a database of "kink-aware professionals:" lawyers, doctors, psychiatrists and others who are already familiar with BDSM practices and as such won't need to be educated on exactly what their clients are up to, or why. They can provide attorneys with findings in peer-reviewed journals that make clear that consenting adults being rough with one another in the bedroom make just as capable parents as adults who do it missionary-style with the lights off. 

 

"Kendra Holliday, Mom Behind Racy Blog, Sued For Custody"

on Wednesday, 15 December 2010. Hits 1625

Riverfront Times

After revealing her identity in an RFT feature and on her blog, Kendra Holliday expected fallout. After all, the blog she'd maintained anonymously for years, www.thebeautifulkind.com, features an explicit peek into her sex-positive world filled with lovers, sex toys and BDSM.

Right away she found a great deal of support and criticism, both online and in real life -- commenters on our story called her everything from a hero to a whore. Some parents of her child's classmates shunned her. ...

"Tied up in knots"

on Monday, 06 December 2010. Hits 474

Xtra West

What to make of the Human Rights Tribunal's dismissal of a BDSM lifestyler's complaint that the police denied him a chauffeur's permit because of his sexual...

"Jury hears testimony about lifestyle that involves bondage and infliction of pain during sex"

on Friday, 05 November 2010. Hits 459

NewsOK

“Jury hears testimony about lifestyle that involves bondage and infliction of pain during sex”

In an unusual domestic abuse trial, an Oklahoma County jury Wednesday learned about a secretive lifestyle based on bondage and the infliction of pain during sex.

The jury heard about the so-called BDSM lifestyle from a Utah woman who signed an agreement with an Oklahoma City man that he would be the master and she would be his slave.

“I like sex rough. I like to be tied up. I like to be spanked,” the witness, Nanette Larsen, testified. “People in the lifestyle call people not in the lifestyle ‘vanilla.’”

Read more: http://newsok.com/beating-case-reveals-fetish/article/3511030#ixzz14NfRQ754

“Read more…”

"Leather, BDSM ‘lifestyle’ provides security, stability"

on Monday, 01 November 2010. Hits 513

QNotes

Leather, BDSM ‘lifestyle’ provides security, stability
QNotes

When most folks think leather or BDSM — that is, bondage, domination, sadism, masochism — chills might run up their spine. Or, perhaps, feelings of disgust flash through their mind.

It’s that initial, gut reaction that most upsets Pam Payne. She lives in and around Hickory and operates a mentoring program and four-bedroom “halfway house,” so to speak, for people in the leather and BDSM “lifestyles” who find themselves in flux or in need of some extra help. She is a part of the BDSM lifestyle herself and she says her way of living is about much more than images of sexual power, pain and perversion most people ascribe to it.

“It’s not purely a sexual identity,” Payne says in rebuttal to arguments about her life and family. “I’d say its a balance of 50-50 — people who just want to belong on a level that doesn’t exist in the vanilla world.”

“Vanilla” is how Payne describes mainstream society, whether gay or straight.

She says most people in the BDSM lifestyle simply long for acceptance and relationships that matter. “I want to be able to do this for you, give this to you, serve you in this way and, in return, I want you to take care of me in this particular way,” she says, describing a typical relationship which she says is built over periods of months — sometimes years — and depends on negotiation and contract.

"Report: Swingers club called Shangri-Lust busted in Fort Myers"

on Thursday, 28 October 2010. Hits 547

Report: Swingers club called Shangri-Lust busted in Fort Myers
Orlando Sentinel


Authorities this week busted a swingers club called Shangri-Lust in a Fort Myers subdivison that offered an orgy room, stripper pole and a bartender who mixed and served drinks, news-press.com said.

The club, which operated out of a single-family home in the Whiskey Creek development in the 1500 block of Beechwood Trail, prompted complaints from neighbors.

The Florida Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco accused homeowners Lawrence Angstadt, 58, and Charlotte Nottage, 50, of operating an illegal club because they didn't have an alcohol license. 

"Questions About Accuser Surround Sex Slave Case"

on Monday, 25 October 2010. Hits 503

Questions About Accuser Surround Sex Slave Case

AP

The allegations in the indictment were shocking: A young woman had been held captive for years as the sex slave of a Missouri couple. She had been locked in a cage and subjected to electrical shocks. Parts of her body had been nailed to wooden planks. When announcing charges last month, U.S. Attorney Beth Phillips called the case one of "the most horrific ever prosecuted in this district."

Authorities said the woman was a mentally deficient runaway who was recruited by an older man at the age of 16 to live in his trailer. The situation came to light in early 2009, after the woman, then 23, landed in a hospital following what prosecutors said was a torture session.

But as more details have emerged, more questions have arisen about the accuser, including her involvement in violent sex practices, her posing for a pornographic magazine and her work as a strip-club dancer. Supporters of the defendant are speaking out, too, saying many of the acts described in the indictment are practiced every day between consenting adults.

Ed Bagley, 43, faces 11 federal charges, including conspiracy, sex trafficking by force, fraud or coercion, and forced labor trafficking. Four other men also are charged with various crimes.

A graphic 21-page federal indictment describes medieval-like sexual devices being used on the woman at Bagley's mobile home about six miles outside Lebanon, in southwest Missouri. Accusations of waterboarding, suffocation and beatings are mentioned throughout.

Bagley's wife, Marilyn, said she and her husband knew the girl because she had dated their son. That relationship had ended, Bagley's wife said, but the girl wanted to come live with the couple when relations with her adoptive parents soured. She said the girl moved in when she was 17, not 16, and never had sex with her husband until after she turned 18.

"She was not a runaway," Marilyn Bagley said. "We picked her up from her adopted dad and stepmom. They were right there and everything."

Marilyn Bagley said prosecutors have told her she also will be charged if she doesn't agree to testify against her husband. But she said she will not take the stand against him because she believes the two did nothing wrong.

Prosecutors said Ed Bagley posted videos and other images on the Internet showing the young woman engaged in sexual activities. He allegedly described her as his sex slave and advertised that she would perform sex acts and submit to torture for other people during encounters online or in person.

Bagley is accused of taking payments of cash, cigarettes, computer hard drives, even meat, to let other men come to his home and torture her.

Bagley and other defendants are also charged with transporting the woman to California in 2006 and 2007 for prostitution. She appeared on the cover of the July 2007 issue of Taboo, a publication owned by Larry Flynt's Hustler Magazine Group, and was the subject of a story and multipage photo spread inside.

Prosecutors said Ed Bagley also forced the girl to work as an exotic dancer and threatened to punish her if she was not a top earner at the clubs where she stripped.

But another dancer at the same Missouri strip club said the woman seemed to enjoy the attention she got when she danced, often showing off the issue of Taboo magazine that featured her on the cover.

"This girl was spoiled," said Katie Smothers, who said she spent time at Bagley's trailer when she needed a place to stay but never participated in bondage activities.

"She would take customers to show them her magazine, and she had a bucket of photos at the bar. She bragged about it."

Susan Dill, Bagley's Kansas City-based attorney, told reporters recently that the indictment tells only one side of the story. She said the defense will present evidence that the woman practiced BDSM — bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism — by choice.

Dill declined to go into detail, and attorneys for the other defendants turned down requests for comment.

The U.S. attorney's office in Kansas City also declined repeated requests to comment, saying the indictment speaks for itself.

Marilyn Bagley, who for years shared a bed with her husband and the woman, told The Associated Press the woman often left the Bagleys' home to go into the community.

She believes the woman's family coerced her to go to police after she was taken to a hospital suffering from cardiac arrest, which Bagley claims she suffered while getting ready for work — not during a torture session.

"She started seizing, and when she was done, she stopped breathing. Ed gave her CPR. I was on the phone to 911. We were freaking out. We didn't know what to do," she said.

Dr. Keely Kolmes, a San Francisco-based psychologist who sees patients who practice BDSM, said that many of the acts listed in the indictment can be part of consensual activities. But others might indicate Bagley was an abuser, such as allegations that he shot animals the woman cared about to prove he could kill her and that he refused to stop immediately when the woman used a "safe word."

"Consensual BDSM does not involve holding minors hostage against their will or causing physical or mental harm," Kolmes said in an e-mail to the AP. "That is a criminal behavior."

Susan Wright, spokeswoman for the Baltimore-based National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, said some of the things Bagley is accused of are clearly abuse, if true.

"Certainly in abusive relationships, sometimes it's hard to parse out what people do voluntarily and what things they are coerced to do," said Wright, who helped write a sadomasochism vs. abuse policy statement in the late 1990s that has been adopted by national BDSM groups.

At times, it all becomes "tangled up," she said. "And at that point, I don't think any consent you give is legitimate consent."

Latest Reader Comments

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    Heather Vandegrift

    18. February, 2015 |

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