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"An Argument for a Kinky Education"

on Thursday, 13 January 2011. Hits 242

The Faster Times

But let me explain. I do realize that what I am saying is a total anathema to the prevalent feminist theory of the 1990s, and in most circles today. But at 19, I didn’t know anything about non-normative sexuality – things like fisting and swinging, gangbangs and latex fetishes, sadomasochism – these were all as distant from me as another planet. I’d seen pornography, of course, and I knew about anal sex and homosexuality (in fact, learning that bisexuality wasn’t something that turned everyone on was quite eye-opening). 

"Arlington man found not guilty of rape"

on Monday, 10 January 2011. Hits 415

 Richmond Times-Dispatch

A jury Wednesday found an Arlington man not guilty of rape, six months after the felony charge was filed against him after a female accuser told authorities that a consensual bondage-themed sexual encounter between them escalated out of control.

The jury of five men and seven women returned the not-guilty verdict for Benjamin R. Senter, 49, at the close of a two-day trial in Culpeper County Circuit Court.

"Trial set Tuesday in BDSM rape case"

on Tuesday, 04 January 2011. Hits 1304

Culpeper Star Exponent

A two-day jury trial is set to begin at 9:30 a.m. Tuesday for an Arlington man charged with rape in what prosecutors describe as a consensual bondage-themed sexual encounter that escalated out of control.

Benjamin R. Senter, 49, faces a single felony charge of rape. Senter pleaded not guilty to the charge in July after a grand jury in June upheld a direct indictment against Senter.

He was freed on a $50,000 secured bond following his arrest June 22.

At a May bond hearing, Circuit Court Judge John G. Barry stipulated that Senter had to surrender his passport, adhere to a curfew and travel for work-related purposes only. The judge also imposed an unusual condition, stipulating that  Senter may not participate in any sexual fetish or bondage-related activities while awaiting trial.

A retired Air Force Master Sergeant, Senter worked for the Defense Intelligence Agency at Bolling Air Force Base at the time of his arrest.

At the May hearing, Senter’s defense attorney, John Spencer of Fredericksburg, told the court that Senter and the alleged female victim met through a sexual fetish website in 2003.

Since that time, Spencer said Senter and the unidentified woman met for about a dozen encounters that involved consensual bondage, discipline, dominance and submission.

But during an encounter on April 2, prosecutors told the court that the role-playing escalated out of control. They say the woman told authorities that despite telling him to stop, Senter disregarded a “safe word”, a word or phrase used to immediately stop the role-playing. The woman says Senter hit her with a cane, bit her and dragged her by the hair.

The defense acknowledged that the woman confronted Senter about the incident the following morning. But Spencer told the court in May that Senter sincerely thought the matter was resolved after he apologized to her in person and later through a text message.

"Oklahoma man says wife's death was sex fantasy accident"

on Thursday, 30 December 2010. Hits 1404

Arthur Sedille was up-front with police: He would often put a gun to his wife's head during fantasy sex play at their Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, home.

But Sedille said he didn't know the gun was loaded when he pressed it to his wife's head and pulled the handgun's slide back during sex on the night of December 21.

Now Sedille, 23, is facing the possibility of a murder charge in Canadian County, Oklahoma, in the death of his wife, 50-year-old Rebecca Sedille -- who died when the handgun went off in their bedroom.

According to a probable cause affidavit filed by Oklahoma City police, Sedille said the shooting was accidental. He called 911 afterward, according to police. 

"Foot fetish like rigatoni foreplay like ..."

on Tuesday, 28 December 2010. Hits 420

The Trentonian

 Michelle Ryan's feet, and maybe — maybe — an online dating profile that would seem to indicate the Ryans may — may — dabble in the swingers

"More on Sex Blogger Kendra Holliday's Custody Challenge"

on Thursday, 23 December 2010. Hits 520

Riverfront Times

As we reported last week, Kendra Holliday, the woman behind one of St. Louis' raciest blogs, The Beautiful Kind, is facing what she calls "the worst thing imaginable" since revealing her true identity in a Riverfront Times profile.

Holliday's ex-husband is suing to modify the custody agreement they settled on for their ten-year-old child. They'd been splitting custody half-and-half since their 2003 divorce. ..

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is a Baltimore-based group that advocates on behalf of alternative sexuality. The NCSF's Susan Wright says that the group advises people with alternative preferences when they run across legal challenges based on their identities. They've been aware of Holliday's case for some time now.
The group tracks instances of people seeking their help and advocacy. Over the past few years, Wright says, NCSF logs about 500 such incidents each year, about a third of those concerning divorce and custody issues.

In about half of those, she says, the kinky parent is able to retain custody. "As of about five years ago, it was 80/20," in favor of the non-kinky parent, Wright says. She touts the coalition's outreach, better research and efforts to take kinky sexual behaviors out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the psychiatric bible that codifies what behaviors should be considered pathological -- and which shouldn't.

"Once you've had child custody challenged, the best way to respond is to gather materials to educate the family court about what the lifestyle is -- that it doesn't involve children, but involves consenting adults and negotiation," says Wright. "We try to take out the element of a person's sexual behavior."

The group also maintains a database of "kink-aware professionals:" lawyers, doctors, psychiatrists and others who are already familiar with BDSM practices and as such won't need to be educated on exactly what their clients are up to, or why. They can provide attorneys with findings in peer-reviewed journals that make clear that consenting adults being rough with one another in the bedroom make just as capable parents as adults who do it missionary-style with the lights off. 

 

"Kendra Holliday, Mom Behind Racy Blog, Sued For Custody"

on Wednesday, 15 December 2010. Hits 1637

Riverfront Times

After revealing her identity in an RFT feature and on her blog, Kendra Holliday expected fallout. After all, the blog she'd maintained anonymously for years, www.thebeautifulkind.com, features an explicit peek into her sex-positive world filled with lovers, sex toys and BDSM.

Right away she found a great deal of support and criticism, both online and in real life -- commenters on our story called her everything from a hero to a whore. Some parents of her child's classmates shunned her. ...

"Tied up in knots"

on Monday, 06 December 2010. Hits 486

Xtra West

What to make of the Human Rights Tribunal's dismissal of a BDSM lifestyler's complaint that the police denied him a chauffeur's permit because of his sexual...

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