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Media Updates

"Planned "Parenthood video teaches bondage and sadomasochism to teens"

on Saturday, 01 March 2014. Hits 558

The Examiner

by Dean Chambers

Planned Parenthood has produced a video to teach teen children how to engage in bondage, dominance, and sadomasochism (BDSM), CNS News reported yesterday. The video was produced by Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, which received $2.75 million in taxpayer funding in 2012.

CNS describes the video as, “a video specifically aimed at teenagers that promotes bondage and sadomasochism (BDSM) and proposes "rules" to follow when engaging in these activities.”

“People sometimes think that those who practice BDSM are emotionally scarred or were once abused—not true, it’s a total myth," the host of the video, Laci Green, informs its intended audience of teens, "BDSM relies upon and creates trust," she says.

“For teens who are sexually involved, Planned Parenthood is committed to providing resources for safeguarding their emotional and physical health,” the website says.

Wikipedia defines BDSM as, “Regardless of its origin, BDSM is used as a catch-all phrase to include a wide range of activities, forms ofinterpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, extreme body mod enthusiasts, animal players, latex or rubber aficionados, and others.”

The video is part of what PPNNE refers to as “an innovative social education project” that is titled “A Naked Notion.” The YouTube channel for this project has been viewed one million times, PPPNE claims.

"A Naked Notion is a brand new project dedicated to frank, open conversations about sexuality," says the PPNNE webpage for the program. "It stars sex educator Laci Green and is brought to you by Planned Parenthood of Northern New England.”

The best place for us “right wing extremists” is the Conservative OPEN FORUM click the LIKE button and join the discussion! ...

Huff Post Life: The Ups And Downs Of Open Relationships

on Thursday, 27 February 2014. Hits 146

Huffington Post Live

It's Hump Day, everyone, and we here at HuffPost Live would like to talk about it. Today, we discuss polyamorous relationships. Are they healthy or hurtful?

"The many possibilities of polyamory"

on Monday, 24 February 2014. Hits 223

Ka Leo O Hawai'i

by Roman Kalinowski

While traditional monogamous relationships and marriage seem to be losing popularity each year, more people are learning about the plurality of possibilities offered by polyamory, or “the love of many.” It’s time to stop treating love as if it were a scarce commodity and instead embrace it like the air we breathe.

TRIADS, QUADS AND FREE AGENTS, OH MY

 

The most common form of relationship has historically been the pair bond, as it is statistically easier to share a close relationship with one other person (or just yourself) than it is to form a meaningful relationship with multiple people. As such, most marriage and family law has yet to catch up to the modern era to fit with families with more than two parents.

While single working parents have the capability to raise a child alone, children certainly benefit from having two parents of any gender to learn from; if there are three (a “triad”) or four (a “quad”) parents in a family or household, children are almost guaranteed to have someone to play and talk with at all times. Even a mostly monogamous couple can benefit from polyamorous “free agents,” or uncommitted lovers, especially since the intense spark of passion from new love can fade with the simmering effect of long-term companionship.

LOVE IS THE DRUG

Much of the deep emotion associated with motherhood, serious commitment and friendship is based on ambient levels of the hormone oxytocin in both sexes. Oxytocin has been known to correlate strongly between people with high levels who are generally more monogamous and people with lower levels who are more promiscuous.

Similar to many other genetic and personality traits, oxytocin levels exist as a result of DNA and lifelong exposure to environment. For example, it is possible to be born with below average levels of oxytocin, which can then be supplemented by 20-minute hugs or quality conversations with a friend. Being polyamorous is very much a sexual orientation like monogamous hetero- and homosexuality, and the public needs to accept it as a viable alternative lifestyle. ...

"Forget Gay Marriage, Mainstream Media Now Pushing Polyamory"

on Saturday, 22 February 2014. Hits 351

Charisma News

by Jennifer LeClair

Gays in committed relationships have a “partner.” Polyamorous people like Diana Adams, who runs a Brooklyn-based legal firm that fights to offer traditional marriage rights to untraditional lovers, have a “primary partner.”

Primary partners because, well, polyamorists subscribe to the philosophy of being head over heels in love—or at least romantically involved—with more than one person at the same time. The Polyamory Society defines the practice as “the nonpossessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously.”

“I remember from a very young age realizing that I was bisexual and that I tended to be attracted to many different people at the same time,” Adams told Roc Morin in a recent article in The Atlantic entitled "Up for Polyamory? Creating Alternatives to Marriage."

“I really think that polyamory for me is an orientation, like being heterosexual or homosexual," Adams said. "Humans in general have a hard time with monogamy. That’s always been the case. We used to have a sense that it was acceptable for husbands to go out and have other lovers, but with the shift to egalitarianism, rather than to say that woman could do that too, we’ve gone in the other direction.”

This mainstream media reporter went on to ask Adams the intimate details of her polyamorous love life, such as: What are the consequences of polyamory? What do your other lovers give you that your primary partner can’t? How do your different lovers get along with one another? What role does jealousy play in your relationships? How do you deal with those emotions? and How does your family view your lifestyle? Morin left few rocks unturned—and may have turned them if the answers weren’t potentially too pornographic for a mainstream publication.

Yes, the mainstream media is setting out to push polyamory into the mainstream in much the way it pushed gay rights. On Valentine’s Day, The Week magazine ran a piece headlined "Everything You Wanted to Know About Polyamory but Were Afraid to Ask." Yesterday, the Globe and Mail served up a Q&A about how one couple saved their marriage by embracing nonmonogamy and having sex with others. And just this morning, the Mail & Guardian published "Polyamory: Two’s Company, Three’s a Charm."

Meanwhile, sites like Live Science are working to debunk the myths around polyamory. And—would you believe it?—Scientific American last week put out an article called "New Sexual Revolution: Polyamory May Be Good for You" that reveals about 4 to 5 percent of Americans are looking outside their relationship for love and sex—with their partner’s full permission. It goes on and on.

Of course, it didn’t just start. Woody Allen’s 2008 film Vicky Cristina Barcelona celebrated a polyamorous relationship. Slowly and steadily, the push for polyamory is rising in the media, in many ways taking a page from the gay agenda’s playbook. ...

Gays in committed relationships have a “partner.” Polyamorous people like Diana Adams, who runs a Brooklyn-based legal firm that fights to offer traditional marriage rights to untraditional lovers, have a “primary partner.”

Primary partners because, well, polyamorists subscribe to the philosophy of being head over heels in love—or at least romantically involved—with more than one person at the same time. The Polyamory Society defines the practice as “the nonpossessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously.”

“I remember from a very young age realizing that I was bisexual and that I tended to be attracted to many different people at the same time,” Adams told Roc Morin in a recent article in The Atlantic entitled "Up for Polyamory? Creating Alternatives to Marriage."

“I really think that polyamory for me is an orientation, like being heterosexual or homosexual," Adams said. "Humans in general have a hard time with monogamy. That’s always been the case. We used to have a sense that it was acceptable for husbands to go out and have other lovers, but with the shift to egalitarianism, rather than to say that woman could do that too, we’ve gone in the other direction.”

This mainstream media reporter went on to ask Adams the intimate details of her polyamorous love life, such as: What are the consequences of polyamory? What do your other lovers give you that your primary partner can’t? How do your different lovers get along with one another? What role does jealousy play in your relationships? How do you deal with those emotions? and How does your family view your lifestyle? Morin left few rocks unturned—and may have turned them if the answers weren’t potentially too pornographic for a mainstream publication.

Yes, the mainstream media is setting out to push polyamory into the mainstream in much the way it pushed gay rights. On Valentine’s Day, The Week magazine ran a piece headlined "Everything You Wanted to Know About Polyamory but Were Afraid to Ask." Yesterday, the Globe and Mail served up a Q&A about how one couple saved their marriage by embracing nonmonogamy and having sex with others. And just this morning, the Mail & Guardian published "Polyamory: Two’s Company, Three’s a Charm."

Meanwhile, sites like Live Science are working to debunk the myths around polyamory. And—would you believe it?—Scientific American last week put out an article called "New Sexual Revolution: Polyamory May Be Good for You" that reveals about 4 to 5 percent of Americans are looking outside their relationship for love and sex—with their partner’s full permission. It goes on and on.

Of course, it didn’t just start. Woody Allen’s 2008 film Vicky Cristina Barcelona celebrated a polyamorous relationship. Slowly and steadily, the push for polyamory is rising in the media, in many ways taking a page from the gay agenda’s playbook.

- See more at: http://news.charismanews.com/opinion/watchman-on-the-wall/42881-forget-gay-marriage-mainstream-media-now-pushing-polyamory#sthash.7WsF65IO.dpuf

Gays in committed relationships have a “partner.” Polyamorous people like Diana Adams, who runs a Brooklyn-based legal firm that fights to offer traditional marriage rights to untraditional lovers, have a “primary partner.”

Primary partners because, well, polyamorists subscribe to the philosophy of being head over heels in love—or at least romantically involved—with more than one person at the same time. The Polyamory Society defines the practice as “the nonpossessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously.”

“I remember from a very young age realizing that I was bisexual and that I tended to be attracted to many different people at the same time,” Adams told Roc Morin in a recent article in The Atlantic entitled "Up for Polyamory? Creating Alternatives to Marriage."

“I really think that polyamory for me is an orientation, like being heterosexual or homosexual," Adams said. "Humans in general have a hard time with monogamy. That’s always been the case. We used to have a sense that it was acceptable for husbands to go out and have other lovers, but with the shift to egalitarianism, rather than to say that woman could do that too, we’ve gone in the other direction.”

This mainstream media reporter went on to ask Adams the intimate details of her polyamorous love life, such as: What are the consequences of polyamory? What do your other lovers give you that your primary partner can’t? How do your different lovers get along with one another? What role does jealousy play in your relationships? How do you deal with those emotions? and How does your family view your lifestyle? Morin left few rocks unturned—and may have turned them if the answers weren’t potentially too pornographic for a mainstream publication.

Yes, the mainstream media is setting out to push polyamory into the mainstream in much the way it pushed gay rights. On Valentine’s Day, The Week magazine ran a piece headlined "Everything You Wanted to Know About Polyamory but Were Afraid to Ask." Yesterday, the Globe and Mail served up a Q&A about how one couple saved their marriage by embracing nonmonogamy and having sex with others. And just this morning, the Mail & Guardian published "Polyamory: Two’s Company, Three’s a Charm."

Meanwhile, sites like Live Science are working to debunk the myths around polyamory. And—would you believe it?—Scientific American last week put out an article called "New Sexual Revolution: Polyamory May Be Good for You" that reveals about 4 to 5 percent of Americans are looking outside their relationship for love and sex—with their partner’s full permission. It goes on and on.

Of course, it didn’t just start. Woody Allen’s 2008 film Vicky Cristina Barcelona celebrated a polyamorous relationship. Slowly and steadily, the push for polyamory is rising in the media, in many ways taking a page from the gay agenda’s playbook.

- See more at: http://news.charismanews.com/opinion/watchman-on-the-wall/42881-forget-gay-marriage-mainstream-media-now-pushing-polyamory#sthash.7WsF65IO.dpuf
Jennifer LeClaire
Jennifer LeClaire

" S&M May Be The New Yoga: BDSM Causes Blood Flow In Brain To Alter State Of Consciousness"

on Saturday, 22 February 2014. Hits 365

Medical Daily

By Lizette Borreli

Skin tight leather-clad outfits, whips, and chains are all part of what is considered to be the subtle yet pervasive bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism (BDSM) culture. The act of sexually enjoying giving and receiving pain — sadomasochism (S&M) — once thought to be a pathological practice is now viewed as some type of meditation. According to a recent study presented at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology in Austin, Texas, the practice of S&M alters blood flow in the brain, which leads to an altered state of consciousness similar to a “runner's high” or yoga.

Currently, consensual sexual behaviors like BDSM, are listed as a paraphilia, or unusual sexual fixation, in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, kinky sex is only considered to be a paraphilic disorder if it deliberately causes harm to the person committing the act or others. “A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention,” according to the DSM-5. The shift of being viewed as a mental illness, to an unusual sexual interest, has promoted researchers to delve into what exactly makes partners engage in these painful sexual behaviors.

The practice of S&M and other erotic practices may actually reap benefits for partners that are that similar to meditation. James Amber, graduate student in psychology at Northern Illinois University, conducted a small study to evaluate how S&M can lead to feelings of peacefulness and living “in the here and now” that mimic those felt during a meditative experience. Fourteen participants, both male and female, were recruited for the study to test whether pain from sexual experiences may cause blood flow to alter the region of the brain responsible for control and working memory.

The researchers first randomly assigned the participants to either “receiving pain” or “giving pain” by the roll of a dice. In addition, they had to complete a cognitive test called the Strook task, which matches words and colors, and questionnaires before and after the sexual tests to examine their brain function. ...

International Media Update: "The myths, realities and challenges in polyamorous relationships"

on Saturday, 22 February 2014. Hits 218

Globe and Mail

by ZOSIA BIELSKI

“Polyamory is a challenging lifestyle to live. We are not socialized to live this way and there are very few media models that demonstrate people actively living these lifestyles,” says Dr. Danielle Duplassie, a Burnaby registered clinical counsellor and sex therapist who works with non-traditional couples.

This weekend the University of California, Berkeley hosts the International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Non-Monogamy, devoted to scientific and academic research on polyamory, open relationships, swinging and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. (Sample session titles include “Are Polyamory and Cheating all That Different,” “Jealousy Management,” “Issues in Polyamorous Parenting” and “Love Is Always Non-Monogamous.”)

Traditionalists view those practising polyamory with incredulity – “I give them a year,” being the common refrain. But it’s also no cakewalk for its own practitioners.

“Finding a good fit for two people is challenging. Finding a good fit with more than two people is even more challenging, even if sex isn’t involved in the dynamic for everyone,” says Duplassie. Here, the sexologist talks myths, realities and challenges in polyamorous and open relationships.

Pathologies To the outside world, non-monogamous couples often appear in denial about their own imperviousness to jealousy, and worse: “The biggest misconception is that people assume that these types of relationships are an indication of pathology. I’ve heard both academics and lay people question those in open relationships, making assumptions about their ability to make commitment and questioning their attachment style.”

Different strokes Some couples forge a primary union with outside partners serving sexual or platonic needs. Others practising non-monogamy prefer multiple relationships that are independent of one another. “Sometimes people will negotiate certain sexual roles with different partners as a way to get a variety of sexual needs met,” Duplassie says. “Maybe the primary partner will serve as the ‘home base’ for the sexual relationship, while a secondary partner is strictly for particular forms of sex play.”

Rules of the game Open communication and rule-setting are cornerstones of polyamory. Some rules are simple, such as “no sleepovers.” Others regulations seem laughable, such as “no falling in love.” But Duplassie says even here, there are some common workarounds. “For those who are consensually non-monogamous, the rule of ‘no falling in love’ is tricky to abide by. Most people are not aware of how attachment and bonding occur at a neurobiological level. Humans start falling in love when they spend increasing amounts of time with one another and touch one another. These acts release oxytocin in the brain, which is the hormone associated with bonding. By limiting time spent and limiting physical proximity, people can reduce the likelihood of falling in love. It’s not something that works all of the time. If people are not getting basic emotional needs met within their primary relationship, this puts a person at risk of falling in love.” ...

"Consensual Sadistic Sex Practices are Comparable to Meditation Experiences"

on Friday, 21 February 2014. Hits 249

Science World Report

by Thomas Carannante

Sadomasochism is defined as sexual behavior that involves getting pleasure from causing or feeling pain. Previously thought to be a pathological practice, current research has found no evidence of harmful effects as a result of sadomasochism.

Scientists have found sadomasochism may actually lead to a meditative experience and that such practices are not entirely about sex. Two studies, one conducted by James Ambler of Northern Illinois University and the other by Brad Sagarin of Northern Illinois University, have found that these painful, sexual practices actually contribute to an altered state of consciousness.

The first study involved participants who were assigned to either the "receiving pain" role or the "giving pain" role. Before and after the sexual tests, the participants completed a cognitive test as well as questionnaires that sought to examine their brain function. Results of the cognitive test revealed that the "receiving pain" participants had poorer results, which led the researchers to believe that the pain caused by the sexual experience actually may have caused blood to flow away from the region of the brain that is responsible for executive control and working memory. This is believed to alter one's state of consciousness, particularly to a state of focus and enjoyment.

The second study focused on a pain ritual in a nonsexual atmosphere. Sagarin's participants were involved in a ritual called the "Dance of Souls" in which people received temporary skin piercings that were pulled by rope while music was being played. These "energy pulls," as they are called, were shown to make the participants feel less stressed after they filled out surveys about stress, emotions, and flow (the state of focus and enjoyment).

The researchers found that these practices may elicit similar feelings that one experiences during yoga or meditation. Additionally, the participants reported that they feel more connected to others when experiencing pain. While this may shoot down previous beliefs about sadomasochism, Ambler and Sagarin believe that further research is needed. More specifically, they want a closer minute-by-minute monitoring of these participants.

 

International Media Update: "Polyamory: Two's company, three's a charm"

on Friday, 21 February 2014. Hits 126

Many couples are finding meaning in loving, open relationships.

Mail & Guardian

By Rosemund Handler

The Ravenhearts, a poly­amorist couple, defined polyamory for the Oxford English Dictionary as "the practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved".

On a recent visit to a well-established centre of polyamory – Berkeley, California – I was instructed in the norms and bylaws by a long-term polyamorist who is clearly convinced it's the way to go: "It's perpetual harmony between the sexes, man, amazing sex in an atmosphere completely lacking in the negative and destructive emotions."

"Sixties free love in disguise?" I suggest. My adviser disagrees vehemently. "Polyamory is nothing like free love. It's about honest communication with good, loving intentions; it's about eroticism in all its forms; it's about inclusivity."

"No swinging at all?" I ask.

He frowns. "Swinging is just expenditure of energy, man. No love there, just raw physicality – like let's do it, then move on and do it again, maybe with two or three others."

He tells me he has been poly for years and that polyamorists "connect and communicate. We value the integrity of our connection".

Ryam Nearing of the organisation Loving More agrees. He says polyamory is about powerful sexual and emotional relationships.

I ask my expert about married people. Married is fine – if the partner agrees to participate, or agrees but refuses to participate.

"I used to be possessive about my girlfriend until I found out that her polyamory didn't turn me off; rather the reverse. And the more I thought about it the more I wanted some of her genuine cool about loving other people as well as me. It took a while but it worked for me."

I ask whether they're still together (they're not) and whether she is still polyamorous. He shakes his head. Apparently she wanted something different when she had a kid.

Is the child his? He shrugs. "I don't think so. She doesn't know for sure who the father is. Which is fine too; for a while I contributed financially, as did the others."

The Jim Evans poly pride flag consists of three equal horizontal stripes, with a symbol in the centre. Blue is for honesty, red for passion and black for solidarity with those who must conceal their relationships because of social pressures.

Most of mainstream established religions do not accept polyamory. But recently a prominent New York rabbi, Sharon Kleinbaum, said that biblical patriarchs had many wives and concubines, and there is no reason for the practice not to work today.

In 1929, Marriage and Morals by Bertrand Russell questioned Victorian notions of morality regarding sex and marriage; his views prompted vigorous condemnation. Virginia Woolf, DH Lawrence and others provoked a similar reaction. ...

Latest Reader Comments

  • This seems to me like it was a BSDM arrangement, which explains why she kept going to work and then went back to the apt. That said, even...

    luisa

    22. February, 2011 |

  • This is a right sentence. How could you fail to share your condition in this situation. You left all these people without any choice.

    John

    23. January, 2011 |

  • Taking pictures with one of her own graduate students wasn't the most bright move.

    Inferno

    22. September, 2010 |

  • We chose polyamory because love could not be denied.

    twowives

    27. August, 2010 |

  • [...] (That link is not remotely work-safe.) I’ve never been, but I surely will someday! And the National Coalition for Sexual...
  • We loved the ethical slut! Great Book!

    Fellow Swingers

    06. July, 2010 |