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"Party ends at Will County swingers club"

on Saturday, 12 May 2012. Hits 483

Police shut down business at rural home, saying it lacked a permit

Chicago Tribune

Will County has shut down a swingers club operating out of a six-bedroom home in the far south suburbs, saying it lacked a business permit and that the home's basement — which included a concrete "dungeon room" equipped with chains and a padded sawhorse — wasn't up to code.

The home is owned by a Crete businessman who once ran a Mokena nightclub complex but is now thought to have fled, perhaps to Costa Rica, allegedly leaving behind hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid debts, according to records, police and a former business partner.

Club Erotica, with the motto "If it feels good, do it," held themed sex parties with food and musical laser-light shows for about six months in the rural, cabin-style home, which was filled with taxidermied animals, records show. The home is on a secluded lot outside Beecher, hundreds of yards from the closest neighbors.

The home, which is in foreclosure and scheduled to be auctioned at a sheriff's sale this month, belonged to Mark Ferrari, 54, who ran The Colosseum, a Mokena sports bar, restaurant, beer garden and music venue for about five years before it closed in 2009. Ferrari also owned construction and property maintenance businesses. Attempts to reach him were unsuccessful.

A phone number was listed on a Club Erotica brochure taken as evidence by investigators. The number rang up "Mike," who said he runs Club Erotica but declined to give his last name for privacy reasons.

Mike told the Tribune he "paid a lot of money" to lease the property, which the swingers club used on weekends for events such as "Naughty Schoolgirl Night" and a Super Bowl poker party, according to handwritten calendar entries in court records. The lease won't expire until December, though Mike said he was aware that the property might be auctioned before then. ...

"'50 Shades of Grey' craze: Hot novel explores dominance and submission in modern relationships"

on Saturday, 12 May 2012. Hits 484

The Grio

E L James' novel 50 Shades of Grey has become a mainstream hit, in part by shining a spotlight on the world of sadomasochism, otherwise known as S&M. It's a sexual practice that combines bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, role-play, and pain to foster mutual pleasure between two consenting adults. It's not new; in fact, the term itself dates back to the late 1800s. But it's likely that consenting adults have been practicing this particular type of pleasure for much longer, as all of the characteristics of the lifestyle listed above really aren't that taboo even for partners participating in "vanilla" or "ordinary" sex.

In fact, the wide appeal of the type of sex portrayed in 50 Shades of Grey is evident in the fact that word of mouth alone initially drove 250,000 mainly digital sales of the trilogy of which this first book is a part. With the stunning popularity of the 50 Shades of Grey franchise, its publisher soon announced a printing of 750,000 hard copies of the books. The main title has already been greenlit to become a major motion picture. The steamy, at times violent world of 50 Shades of Grey is so acceptable to most that James just appeared on The View to discuss what some are calling the advent of "mommy porn."

Why is this work of S&M erotica such a pop sensation?

The appeal of 50 Shades of Grey to modern women, particularly those who don't practice S&M, likely lies in the romance that surrounds the two main characters of the book, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Steele, a white American recent college graduate, and Grey, a young white American billionaire who far exceeds Steele's economic class status, find themselves wrapped in a complicated love affair in which they must confront each other's differences.

On the surface, it looks like the relationship is destined to be problematic, as Grey's luxurious lifestyle is very foreign and unwanted by Steele. But truly, the two have very different ideas of sex and love, which becomes the main obstacle in their relationship and a challenge to overcome. Grey introduces Steele, a virgin with limited sexual experience, to his obsession with S&M, asking her to be his submissive and to allow him to be her dominant. Prior to this, Steele had barely even kissed another man, but finds herself turned on by the idea of pleasuring Grey, even if agreeing to be submissive to a man goes against her personality DNA as an independent woman.

While the roles of "submissive" and "dominant" would seem rather simple, as the prior obeys the latter's demands, the relationship is actually quite complex, as James illustrates in the book's plot. Consent is a mandatory, always present safeguard that protects both the submissive and dominant from doing anything they don't want to do, and thus, its presence makes the power relationship fluid. The desire to have a fantasy actualized can be stopped dead in its tracks at any moment by either party. And this risk in pushing each other's limits is a turn on for many.

Even outside of S&M relationships, the balance between dominance and submission in the bedroom, refereed by consent, is what can make sex so exciting. It's this parallel that James cleverly gets the reader to notice, and thus relate to, regardless of whether they practice S&M or not. Whether in their S&M roles or as vanilla lovers, Grey and Steele are a reflection of many modern couples that are working to find balance, despite the challenge of gender roles, sexual norms, and contemporary definitions of love. ...

Dateline Preview: "Secrets in the Suburbs"

on Friday, 11 May 2012. Hits 1630

Dateline will run a story on Robert Bashara and his links to the BDSM community tonight at 10pm EST.

View the promo clip here.

"'Fifty Shades' of a kinky sex revolution? Maybe not"

on Thursday, 10 May 2012. Hits 2232

What's happening to the sex lives of American women when an erotic trilogy focused on kinky sex becomes a top seller?

USA Today

The books in question explicitly describe bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) as a relationship unfolds between recent college graduate Anastasia Steele and handsome young billionaire entrepreneur Christian Grey, who wants her to share his secret dominant/submissive sexual proclivities.

British writer E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed took the top three spots in USA TODAY's Best-Selling Books list, out today. The first book has been in the No. 1 spot for three weeks. It has been banned from library shelves across Florida and Georgia and parodied on Saturday Night Live.

"It's challenging for many people to define what a BDSM behavior is," says Debby Herbenick, an educator at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University- Bloomington.

The spectrum ranges from "handcuffs and little devices meant for spanking and things like that" to more extremes involving real pain.

Experts say that a big part of BDSM involves role-playing and an exchange of power. So how many people are tying up their partners or brandishing riding crops behind closed doors?

And is it OK?

"I would certainly say millions of people participate in it," Herbenick says, but there are no good numbers because no large national surveys have asked.

Don't call it 'mommy porn'

"We hear fairly often that the estimate on prevalence of BDSM is one in 10. We don't know whether or not that's accurate," says clinical psychologist Peggy Kleinplatz, a certified sex therapist and professor of medicine at University of Ottawa in Canada.

Susan Wright of Phoenix, founder of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, an advocacy group, says the trilogy shows BDSM "in a very responsible way," citing the "extended discussion about what each character wants from the sexual relationship, with great examples of 'hard limits' but also compromises."

She says, however, that the term "mommy porn" some have used to describe the books is "another way of denigrating women's interest in sexuality." ...

"Bob Bashara's alternative lifestyle"

on Wednesday, 09 May 2012. Hits 1523

WDIV Channel 4 Detroit

It's the twist in the Bashara case that had everyone whispering. Are there dungeons of debauchery in quiet, local communities? Wait until you see what Defender hidden cameras reveal!

Note: NCSF was alerted to the story the morning it was scheduled to air and was active in discussions with WDIV to convince them to further blur and obscure identifying characteristics of the attendees. We also specifically asked that they include positive information about BDSM, such as everyone in attendance is a consenting adult and is doing nothing illegal. As per NCSF's Incident Reporting and Response guidelines, NCSF continues to work with the local community to minimize any fallout from this story.

"Is This Normal? 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Review"

on Tuesday, 08 May 2012. Hits 419

Rochester Patch

'Sex Should Be Like Math…'

When I decided to read and review Fifty Shades of Grey, I was hopeful. I had heard Shades of Grey was erotica that catered to women and that women couldn’t stop talking about it. Because so much erotica is exploitive, demeaning, and just boring after awhile, I thought erotica that catered to women might stress women’s pleasure and power. I thought it might even be instructional.

There is little in the way of a productive dialogue about the mechanics of sex despite our culture dripping with teens hooking up on Glee, women throwing themselves at any Bachelor that shows up on TV, The Jersey Shore, and my neighborhood high school dance where my daughter informs me that “… [girls] don’t bend over more than 45 degrees because that’s just asking some guy to come up and grind on you.”

I thought that Shades of Grey might be a start of discussing how to improve sex within the context of sustaining relationships. After all, committed, sustaining relationships are very sexy to women. However, decades into a committed relationship when couples still want to connect sexually, where do they go other than the porn industry for real ideas about sex? ...

Shades of Grey isn’t anything close to what I thought it could be, so let me get this over with. It’s cliché porn. It’s just more cliché porn. The characters are predictable and two-dimensional. The story is too familiar and portrays a controlling, disturbed man as sexy and desirable. Remember Twilight’s Edward? The writing doesn’t help the story by being awful.

As a therapist who specializes in women and girls’ issues, my caseload usually has one client who is in therapy because of a relationship with a controlling, disturbed man. It’s damned discouraging to see women eating up this book like it’s Greek yogurt. ...

"‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Too Racy for Gwinnett Libraries"

on Tuesday, 08 May 2012. Hits 546

Dacula Patch

While you may find most New York Times bestsellers at the Dacula Library or Hamilton Mill Library, there are three you will not find.

“Fifty Shades of Grey,” “Fifty Shades Darker” and “Fifty Shades Freed” -- currently numbers one through three on the New York Times bestseller fiction list -- are not part of the Gwinnett County Public Library’s (GCPL) collection.

Would you like GCPL to carry the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy? Why or why not? Tell us in the comments.

Deborah George, the division director for materials management at GCPL, explained the wildly popular books by E. L. James are “out of scope.” The trilogy, referred to by some critics as “mommy porn,” is a series of erotic novels about the relationship between college student Anastasia Steele and businessman Christian Grey -- a man with a unique sexual appetite.

“Our collection development plan states that we do not collect self-proclaimed erotica, which is the primary reason for our decision not to purchase this and similar materials,” George wrote in an email to Dacula Patch.

GCPL is not the only library system to decide against carrying the highly successful erotic series. According to a report, the Brevard County Public Library system in Florida recently pulled “Fifty Shades of Grey” from its shelves after belatedly realizing the nature of the material. ...

"Libraries Banning '50 Shades of Grey' Are Only Hurting Themselves (VIDEO)"

on Tuesday, 08 May 2012. Hits 881


This weekend, SNL had a field day teasing moms about their obsession with Fifty Shades of Grey, further acknowledging that we pretty much all have our noses buried in the E.L. James BDSM series right now. (I can attest to witnessing proof of this last week: Grey and book #3 Fifty Shades Freed were for sale at Fort Lauderdale International Airport, but book #2 Fifty Shades Darker was SOLD OUT. Guess most of us are reading at the same pace? Ha!) Most women are reading it on their e-readers, though some of us bolder types are consuming it in paperback form. (Even in public. What? It's for work!) And believe it or not, there are those who would rather borrow their "mommy porn" fix from their local library. Unfortunately, curious ladies in Florida won't have the chance to do that now.

The series has been banned in 17 Florida libraries (specifically, in Brevard County) after being called "too pornographic." Oh, give me a break.

The library services director in Brevard County told The Palm Beach Post that the book doesn't meet their "selection criteria." Still, there are a couple of copies floating around, because the library acquired them prior to realizing that they didn't approve of its "soft porn" content. Ha. Now, they're eagerly awaiting the return of the books, so they can get rid of 'em. (Maybe they shouldn't hold their breath? Perhaps women are now lending these rogue copies of Grey on the black market!)

The sad thing here is that it's all a matter of perception. First of all, there are much dirtier books out there. Second of all, while Fifty Shades isn't in the same category as sexually-charged, controversial classics Lolita or Tropic of Cancer (in other words, of course it's not literature and never will be!), it's not total trash. It may be erotica, but there is character development and a real plot, which should deem it library shelf-worthy.

What's more, there's obviously a HUGE demand for the books. People who may not have made time to read in years are picking up this series, which should make librarians -- who I'm sure live in fear of us all going to hell in an illiterate hand-basket -- jump for joy! In a time when libraries are threatening to close, because "everything is digital or online," the least they can do to make the case that they're still relevant is to offer the bestseller everyone wants to read. By refusing to, these Florida libraries are making a tremendous mistake.

Here's a news report on how the racy book isn't exactly for everyone ...

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