NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog


Stay in Touch. Stay in the Know.

"'Fifty Shades of Grey': What do Authors and BDSM Experts Think?"

on Thursday, 30 August 2012. Hits 1921

To call Fifty Shades of Grey a literary and pop culture sensation would be nothing short of an understatement. E.L. James' erotic trilogy about a young woman's romantic and sexual entanglement with a wealthy, but complicated, business tycoon and their BDSM relationship has become a phenomenon of unexpected, unparalleled proportions.
Just how big a phenomenon? The books — Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed — have been on the New York Times bestseller list for 25 weeks and currently sit in the top three slots, respectively. The trilogy surpassed the 20 million sales mark in the United States in July (the books have sold over 30 million copies worldwide), broke records previously held by fellow popular series like Harry Potter and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and will soon boast a big screen adaptation from the producers of The Social Network. Not bad for something that merely started out as a piece of Twilight fan fiction.
But while James' powerhouse books have left retailers, movie executives, and readers (even those beyond that embarrassingly named "mommy porn" demographic) satisfied, what about the two groups perhaps most directly affected by the wildly popular saga: erotica writers and the BDSM community? After all, the trilogy has led readers to become increasingly aware and interested in both the once-taboo book genre (Fifty Shades copycat Bared to You has quickly climbed the NY Times bestseller list and more will likely follow) and the once-underground world of BDSM. (Everything from Fifty Shades-themed dating services to sex kits have spawned as a result from the books).
"I've been tracking media for the past 17 years for NCSF and there has never been any kind of reaction like this before," says Susan Wright, a spokesperson for the advocacy group National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. "Look at what a brilliant stonewall this is: Twilight fan fiction to open the conversation."
And it's a conversation that needed to be brought to the masses, Wright says. According to a 2008 study conducted by NCSF, 37.5 percent of respondents in the BDSM community had experienced discrimination, harassment, or violence. Fifty Shades' frankness, says Wright, has helped open up audiences to the civility of the fetish and to the accessibility of erotic novels. "The best thing about the book is that it shows the discussion," she says. "Women who have never really thought about [BDSM] can go, 'Wow, that does sound kind of appealing' and realize that these sex games are available to anyone."
BDSM 101
Odd to think of a work of fiction as a learning tool, but BDSM advocates tell that those eager to enter into the community are using Fifty Shades of Grey — which introduces not only certain psychological aspects of BDSM relationships, but also sex devices like Ben-Wah balls and riding crops — as BDSM 101. "This book is a catalyst," Guy Sanders (better known as Sir Guy), board member and media representative for the nation's largest and longest-running BDSM support and education group, The Eulenspiegel Society, says. "Now maybe it will be more open and there won't be as much prejudice against it and we may have an opportunity to make better strides as far as the understanding of the people in these practices. The opportunity for us to educate people."
Especially when audiences could only rely on the entertainment industry's inaccurate portrayals of the fetish prior to the franchise's release. "[Fifty Shades] will put a different face on BDSM," says Sanders, who does, however, praise BDSM-friendly work like 9 1/2 Weeks and Secretary. "When you look at a lot of these crime shows, even the news media, whenever BDSM is depicted, the people in it are dysfunctional, they are sexual deviants or serial killers or something along those lines. With this book and the people that have found interest in it, you'll find that the guy next door might be involved, the principal at your school, the police officer on your beat, your psychologist, your lawyer might all be participants in [BDSM], so it might open up the human side of BDSM that it's not some bizarre, secret, hidden thing." ...


"Multiple lovers, stuck in the closet"

on Thursday, 30 August 2012. Hits 2933

The Trentonian

So a few weeks ago, I wrote a piece about the Showtime reality show “Polyamory: Married and Dating” and, you know, had some fun with it. After all, it is a show about a bunch of people having sex with a bunch of people of other. Fun.

Anyway, little did I know that real polyamorous people — you know, those not having sex on camera for money — are, in large part, completely, 100 percent “in the closet.” Their families don’t know. Their employers don’t know. No one knows. Even two people on the Showtime show were closeted (at least until the show aired, duh).

Why? Because they’re fearful their families would shun them, their employers would fire them, everyone will look at them like sex-crazed fiends.

As it turns out …

“This lifestyle choice isn’t all hedonism and group sex,” one “poly” person told me via Facebook. “It’s mostly based on all the normal, mundane yet wonderful stuff you ‘monos’ experience on a daily basis (like) grocery shopping, TV, spats over who has to mow the lawn. I felt compelled to let you know that the ‘everyone sleeps with everyone’ style of polyamory depicted in the show is not indicative of every poly relationship out there.”

Another poly person echoes the point.

“It is like any other group dynamic,” she said. “OK, so that is over-simplifying it, but it is true.”

And both these people were adamant about staying anonymous.

“I myself am afraid to ‘come out’ as poly at my place of work for fear that someone’s small-minded judgement might cost me my job,” one said.

Same goes for the other person, who at first posted her thoughts on my Facebook page.

“I realized that it may cause problems where I work,” she said. “I have no problem answering any questions about it, but I work for the state and, well, you understand, I hope.”

"Whistleblower claims RCMP targeting him"

on Wednesday, 29 August 2012. Hits 2008

CBC News

A man who complained to the RCMP that one of its officers posted bondage photos online says that after he reported the Mountie, he and his wife were terrorized by police during a raid on their home.

The man, whose name is not being made public, told CBC News that the raid occurred after he reported to the RCMP that Cpl. Jim Brown, of Coquitlam, B.C., had posted several bondage-type photos of himself with women on a website with a purported 1.7 million members.

The RCMP is investigating Brown's connection to the photos.

But the man said several officers — bearing a warrant that said the search was being carried out as part of an investigation into alleged defamatory libel — raided his home and seized several computers and cell phones.

The man said the officers told his wife that he was likely cheating on her because he had been lurking on the website where he found the photos of Brown.

"After assisting the RCMP regarding this matter we have been targeted by those in Organized Crime Section," the man wrote in a letter to CBC News. ...

"Hot Saucy Golden Girls"

on Wednesday, 29 August 2012. Hits 1313

50 Shades of Curious Video #101

This week we get a very spicy hot sauce story. The golden girls need a shower, The Aflack Duck reads fifty shades of grey and we tell you about the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom.

"Denver council rejects swingers club settlement"

on Wednesday, 29 August 2012. Hits 2067


DENVER (AP) - The Denver City Council is rejecting a $42,500 settlement with a swingers club over alleged use of excessive police force.

Lawyers for the Scarlet Ranch swingers club claim Denver police used unreasonable force during a May 2010 raid on the club.

According to the Denver Post, the suit filed last year claims at least 10 police officers raided the club without a warrant, injured one of the members and stole a videotape that had captured the raid on the club's surveillance system.

"Watchdogs fear raid politically motivated"

on Wednesday, 29 August 2012. Hits 2083

Toronto Sun

VANCOUVER -- Government and police watchdog groups are concerned a police raid at the home of a man connected with a whistle-blower Internet blog targeting RCMP corruption was politically motivated.

About a half-dozen officers, using a warrant for defamatory libel, seized several computers and cellphones from the man, who helped to set up the Re-Sergeance Alliance blog site. He also recently assisted the Mounties in finding online photos of Coquitlam, B.C., RCMP Cpl. Jim Brown engaged in graphic S&M activities.

Brown, who was involved in the investigation into serial killer pig farmer Robert Pickton, was cleared of wrongdoing by the force in 2010 before a new probe was ordered in July.

Michael Vonn, policy director for the B.C. Civil Liberties Association, said this type of warrant is rarely used.

“Almost invariably when it’s invoked, it’s a critic of the police,’’ Vonn said. “This should concern all Canadians.”

Police investigating a crime against themselves creates “a massive accountability deficit here.”

Lawyer Cameron Ward, who is representing the families of Pickton’s victims at the Missing Women Inquiry, is concerned officers involved in the raid were aware of his private discussions with the suspect.

“I’m concerned with whether the RCMP have been intercepting my communications and, more importantly, why such a response was deemed necessary,’’ Ward said. ...

"Meet The Dominatrix Who Ties Up And Spanks Wall Streeters During Their Lunch Breaks"

on Wednesday, 29 August 2012. Hits 1298

Business Insider

Kimi Inch, a New York-based dominatrix and educator who goes by "Ms. Nina Payne" in the Kink world, sees a lot of Wall Street clients.

"I feel like there are a lot of men involved in the financial industry.  I definitely do get a lot of them."

In case you're not already familiar, Kink involves things like spanking and bondage-domination S&M (BDSM).

We first read about Ms. Nina Payne when she was quoted in the Wall Street Journal a couple of weeks ago, so we decided to reach out to her to learn more about the Kink business.

She told Business Insider that her clients are predominately male and include celebrities, politicians, Fortune 500 leaders and Wall Streeters.  She sees teachers, garbage men and musicians, too.

The finance guys tend to come see her on their lunch breaks, she said.

"I appreciate it because it's a very stressful job, I imagine, dealing with money and power meetings and closing deals," she said, adding, "And they come to me with that sort of stress and they just come to let it all go...I had guys call me after a session saying 'That was great.  I feel like I can go back to work.  I feel clear headed.  I feel like I could be a good husband and father."

When Wall Streeters come to see her they don't have to worry about calling the shots and closing a deal, she said. ...

"Vancouver Area Alt-sex Promoter Faces Lawsuits & Controversy"

on Wednesday, 29 August 2012. Hits 2959

Erotic Vancouver

Local fetish promoter Jennifer Skrukwa, aka Jennifer Zurba and commonly known as Jennifer S. within the kink community and online, has been hit with two lawsuits in recent weeks.

The more serious of the two lawsuits was first reported on by the website Courthouse News last week. Reporter Daryll Greer reported that Skrukwa is being sued for defamation in BC Supreme Court. The suit alleges that Skrukwa posted status updates on the website in which she claimed a local man sexually and physically assaulted two women; claims, the suit alleges, Skrukwa knew to be false.

Greer immediately thought the case was significant. “That lawsuit was quite fascinating because I’m unaware of any other libel claims arising out of a status update on a social networking site,” Greer wrote in an email.

A Complicated Story

A post from the plaintiff in the case, “J,” alleges the trouble began for him as follows: “On July 31, 2012, Jennifer_S contacted me by telephone and advised me that she had given my real name and telephone number to the RCMP as part of the Cpl Brown investigation. She also called my partner and informed her of what she had done and asked her if we were married. (A very odd question.) When I asked her why she had released my details, she said it didn’t matter why, it was done and that was it. When I pressed her for further information, she hung up on me.”

An RCMP officer shared recently that to the best of his knowledge Skrukwa had not been in touch with the RCMP at that point. Why Skrukwa would indicate to J that she had been, and then refuse to make any statements about that is a source of speculation in the local kink community.

Through his lawyer, the complainant in the case declined to be interviewed by Erotic Vancouver. Those close to him have pointed out that Skrukwa’s allegations against him came only after he had spoken out against her, a tactic they say is common for her. ...

Latest Reader Comments

  • We need a tested slave contract that is NOT rejected as a defense from over zealous third party prosecution. I attempted to draft such a...


    28. June, 2016 |

  • It's not time for the marriage laws to recognize anything. It is time for us to get rid of all the marriage laws.

    John Ullman

    25. June, 2016 |

  • Dear Jennifer,

    I read your article on slavery contracts and was wondering if you could tell me if they can be enforced in any way at...


    17. June, 2016 |



    09. June, 2016 |

  • How do I follow this blog? How do I keep updated? Good that you have this.

    James Graves

    21. May, 2016 |

  • I would gently say that this self appointed "sexologist" needs some significant councilling to help him deal with his damaging and...


    12. May, 2016 |