When you find it, the desire to jump into the deep end of the BDSM pool can be irresistible. The excitement of new found friends, playmates and activities can drive a submissive off track and into dangerous situations for mind, body and soul. In this letter to my submissive friends, I offer some advice to avoid the pitfalls during your adventures.
I am so excited for you! It’s such a thrill to watch you blossom into your own sexuality and forge ahead with erotic explorations. For too many years you’ve denied your desires and then struggled to come to terms with them. Now, as you’ve discovered there are others like you; a community of people who enjoy the same things you do, you radiate with the joy of finding acceptance and common ground, a place where you could be heard and let’s not forget, get hot play.
I know you’re about to rush out the door for a play date, but would you take a moment and hear me out? I know everybody and everything you’re encountering seems exciting and wonderful, but will be potential pitfalls, heartaches and dangers along the way. I’m your friend so I’d like to do my best to help you avoid them.
Remember, whatever desires, roles or labels we take on, we’re people first. Respect yourself, respect others and choose to be with those who respect you for all that you are. Even the most gloriously degenerate and depraved play must start from a place of mutual respect and return to that afterwards.
You didn’t get this far in life by being a doormat; so don’t let people walk all over you just because they say they can. You are powerful. Choosing submission from a place of power is beautiful. Find a person who appreciates and treasures that. You’re like a hot-blooded racehorse; under sleek beauty simmers great energy. But you get to choose who will take your reigns, so don’t let just anyone take control, or you’ll get taken for a ride. Be choosy — you’re worth it....
Organizers of a sex convention this weekend say they are being unfairly targeted after aldermen said the city will check if event vendors have permits.
STL3 Inc. has organized a "Spanksgiving" conference from Friday to Sunday at the Four Points by Sheraton hotel for about 250 people who will explore bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism in sexual relationships.
Ward 1 Alderman Norm Miller informed the public at a City Council meeting on Tuesday that he received a call from a concerned citizen about the event.
Miller questioned whether event vendors would need permits and if the city would get sales tax revenue from sold merchandise.
"We have no idea what's going on in there. We have no idea what's being sold," Miller said.
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom spokeswoman Susan Wright, on behalf of a national advocacy group that partners with STL3 Inc., said the conference will have classes and social activities as well as vendors who sell sex toys and other merchandise.
Wright said organizers want to cooperate fully with the city, and plans to obey all state and city laws. But Wright also questions the timing of the enforcement.
"What is being asked of this conference that is not being asked of other conferences?" Wright said. "You can't just enforce it against one group and not another. Did other conference vendors have to pay this fee? It's because of the nature of the event."
Wright said event organizers were not notified by the city about the permits until Wednesday and the hotel was not aware of the requirements.
Ward 5 Alderwoman Sandy Baldwin said the city decided in recent weeks to enforce the merchant ordinance and sent letters to all hotels and motels in the city.
The city is not targeting "Spanksgiving" specifically, but making a push to enforce existing codes, Baldwin said. She added that though she is personally against the event, she recognizes the group's rights.
"I would prefer to not have this kind of event in our city, there's no doubt about that," Baldwin said. "But I also understand, legally, when your hands are tied, we can only make sure the laws on our books are being followed."
Baldwin also said the city will monitor the area to ensure there's no activity outside the hotel and none of the trailers on the hotel parking lot display graphic images.
According to the city's "Hawkers, Peddlers & Itinerant Merchants" ordinance passed in August 1990, merchandise vendors need to have a city-issued license to operate and applicants must have an Illinois sales tax number.
The permit fee is $50 per event and good for seven consecutive days. Those who violate the ordinance could be fined from $150 to $500 a day.
The ordinance also states that "Charitable, Service, Church Organizations, City sponsored functions and Non-Profit Hobby Clubs shall be exempt from any fees incurred as a result of this legislation upon review by the Mayor."
The city would not make nonprofit groups such as the Girl Scouts get permits, Baldwin said.
"I think there's a difference between a Girl Scout cookie and a sexual toy paraphernalia. When you sell Girl Scout cookies, that money is put back into the Girl Scouts. It's going back into the community."
STL3 Inc. is a registered nonprofit corporation with the Missouri Secretary of State and Internal Revenue Service....
Please Join Us Tuesday, Nov. 29th for the Second Annual NCSF Fundraiser...
The DC & Baltimore communities are once again joining together to host a fun-filled evening for the benefit of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) .
Please join us on Tuesday, 11/29, from 6-9:30 at 'The' Spot in DC (1214 18th Street NW). Entertainment includes:
* Musical entertainment by the Distillers * Burlesque performances by Cherokee Rose & Indiana’s Jewel * Fashion show featuring fashions by Girdlebound & Passional * Live auction of erotic art, event packages and other kinky items * Silent auction. * Online auction of sessions donated by some of the hottest Dommes/Doms in the country * Food catered by Chef Terry
Hosted by Judy Guerin (
). For more information, please see [Fetlife Event Page][https://fetlife.com/events/78543].
As part of Lehigh’s power and privilege series the Office of Multicultural Affairs hosted a workshop on Tuesday Nov. 8 exploring the seemingly taboo sexual expression of BDSM, an acronym that refers to Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadomasochism and Masochism.
BDSM involves the consensual exchange of power in erotic or sexual situations. Although BDSM has been largely viewed with disapproval in mainstream society, it has become more recognized and popularized by recent media attention, including Rihanna’s hit, “S&M.”
The concrete associations with BDSM commonly include whips, chains and handcuffs during erotic situations in order to feel pleasure out of pain.
“I didn’t know that BDSM was a real thing, or a big deal, or even considered a form of abuse,” said Roshni Desai, ’15.
BDSM is a unique way of sexual expression, that to some, might seem like sexual abuse. However, focus of the workshop was to put BDSM in a different light, differentiating it from sexual abuse. It analyzed how the tenants of BDSM go far past the chains and whips into the concepts of power, privilege, and gender equality.
One of the main topics of the workshop was exploring the guiding principles of BDSM. The main principles are safety, to hurt but not harm, to be self-affirming but not self-destructive, to be fully consensual and never under the influence of any form of substance. Along with these principles, BDSM is always negotiated and agreed upon ahead of time, and it can be stopped in any instant for any reason, giving both parties equal control.
These principles alone refute any association between BDSM and sexual abuse. Because of these principles, BDSM provides a mental escape to a place where there is equal power and privilege between both partners, regardless of their gender. So, when looking beyond the whips and chains, to the principles and morals of BDSM, it proves to be a healthy form of sexual expression that is merely just misunderstood by society.
“It is my hope that students will leave the workshop understanding BDSM as a normal and healthy form of sexual expression, that they will be able to differentiate between BDSM behaviors and sexual abuse and that they will begin to explore some of the power and privilege around gender and sexuality,” said Brooke DeSipio, assistant director of the Women’s Center and host of the event.
A second woman has come forward to describe boxing legend Oscar De La Hoya’s freaky cross-dressing fetish -- alleging he threw a kinky, booze-and-cocaine fueled sex party at The Ritz-Carlton on Central Park South, prancing around in skimpy ladies underwear and intimidating her and a roommate when they tried to leave.
“It was beyond kinky,” New York model Angelica Marie Cecora, 25, told The Post in an exclusive interview. “Things that I don’t even know how to explain were done with him.”
In a new lawsuit, Cecora tells of the pervy pugilist’s predilection for ladies’ wear, saying the retired fighter contacted her through her modeling Web site to help him “relax” last March 15 after returning from a goodwill visit with the troops in Iraq.
He told her his name was Thomas Crown -- the rich playboy in the 1968 film “The Thomas Crown Affair” and its 1999 remake -- but finally revealed his true identity over dinner, flashing his AmEx Black Card, she said.
“He said there was no alcohol and no women [in Iraq], and he needed to unwind,” Cecora, 25, told The Post. “Once dinner was over, he decided he wanted me to spend the whole night with him.”
Cecora said De La Hoya was drinking heavily during dinner and ordered more booze to his room when they got upstairs -- and that’s when he got freaky.
“He started to put my stuff on, my underwear. I had a skirt with me. He put that on,” she said.
The owner of a local catering business has been given an opportunity for a "fresh start" after being ordered by the code enforcement officer to stop holding swingers' parties at the High Street function hall he leases.
"I made a monumental business error and I'm truly sorry for that," said James U. Colley at Tuesday night's town council meeting in support of new license applications. Colley was referring to the swingers' sex parties that he and his wife — as "Great Beginnings Catering" — hosted at Mousam View Place at 47 High Street.
Colley and his wife, Susan, who owned and operated Great Beginnings at the hall for the last 10 years, were cited Oct. 21 for several violations of Sanford's code ordinance regulating businesses that have liquor, food and entertainment licenses.
The charges resulted from activities observed by undercover police officers at a Halloween-themed event at the hall on Oct. 15. While the officers observed "no illegal activity" at the party, they observed a wide spectrum of sexual activity in clear violation of state and town codes. According to the letter from the code enforcement officer, the police officers observed nudity and people engaging in a variety of sex acts, which in themselves are not illegal among consenting adults. However, such conduct in "immediate proximity" to where food and alcohol are prepared and/or served violates state liquor laws. Also, some patrons allegedly watched others perform live sex acts for the purpose of "entertainment or diversion."
The Colleys were charged with allowing tumultuous conduct at licensed premises, allowing conduct amounting to a nuisance, prostitution and public indecency, and obscenity. They were ordered by Code Enforcement Officer Shirley Sheesley to cease the activities immediately.
"I have informed the owner of the group, which is neither Sue nor myself, that the parties will no longer take place at Mousam View Place," James Colley wrote in an email response to Sheesley on Oct. 25. Colley said that the scheduled November and December parties that appeared on the group's website will not be held at the Sanford function hall.
"Our intent was never to violate any codes or embarrass this community, the building owner or ourselves," Colley wrote. ...