NCSF will be in Detroit this coming Saturday 19 May!
We’ll be hosting a community leadership meeting from 2pm-4pm and an open
community roundtable meeting from 4pm-6pm. The community meetings are
sponsored by NCSF and no RSVP is needed.
The host location is the VFW post at 1125 Fort Street in Lincoln Park, MI.
The VFW hall has a steak dinner available for $10/person from 6pm-730pm.
Deviations will be hosting a party at the same location beginning at 8pm.
Deviations will be doing fundraising for NCSF during the event. You must
contact Deviations to RSVP to the party or the dinner.
We will be sharing information and strategy options for dealing with the media
and related press as the Detroit community struggles with the unwanted
media attention the Bashara incident has brought. As the incident and resulting
media attention isn’t likely to go away and it is likely to generate
cyclical media attention as the case moves forward, it’s important that the
Detroit community and its leaders know what to say to the press and what
not to say, along with talking points and how to reach NCSF’s media line for
We’ll also be discussing security and privacy concerns for both groups and
individuals including how to deal with law enforcement and what to do about
the proverbial 'dangerous insiders.' In addition, we'll cover tips for
protecting your personal privacy and security along with what your rights
may/may not be in dealing with police or the media.
If you’re the leader of a group, please consider attending the leadership
session or send someone representing your group. Please pass this message
around to as many groups, munches and other Detroit area lists as you can and
let people know about the open community meeting along with the party
beginning at 8pm. If you have any questions, please contact Leigha Fleming at
NCSF Board Chair
Maraglino also appears in photos with Louis Ray Perez, 45, one of the other suspects. Perez is a Camp Pendleton Marine staff sergeant.
He and fellow suspect Jessica Lynn Lopez, 27, pleaded not guilty to the murder last month.
Law enforcement discovered her at a hotel in San Diego after a failed suicide attempt. Her vehicle in the parking lot has a sticker depicting a woman on all fours wearing a collar and leash, according to 10 News.
Maraglino maintains a page on several websites catering to people interested in an alternative sexual lifestyle, according to CBS8.
She wrote in her bio on one website that she is "an alpha slave to master Ivan. We have a poly home in which I own two slave girls. Life is good." Perez also maintains pages on several sites, and calls himself "Master Ivan."
Maraglino owns the yellow stucco house in Fallbrook both Perez and Lopez list as their homes, though it is now in foreclosure. She bought the house in December 2009, but Bank of America filed a default notice two weeks ago, saying Maraglino owes $12,862, according to the Times.
Maraglino, who goes by the username "twisted2plusyou," appears with Perez in photos on the websites, and writes in her bio that she is the "care giver of the household and manages it according to (Perez's) wishes."
On the same site, she writes the couple was looking for another woman "slave" to add to their relationship. ...
Police shut down business at rural home, saying it lacked a permit
Will County has shut down a swingers club operating out of a six-bedroom home in the far south suburbs, saying it lacked a business permit and that the home's basement — which included a concrete "dungeon room" equipped with chains and a padded sawhorse — wasn't up to code.
The home is owned by a Crete businessman who once ran a Mokena nightclub complex but is now thought to have fled, perhaps to Costa Rica, allegedly leaving behind hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid debts, according to records, police and a former business partner.
Club Erotica, with the motto"If it feels good, do it," held themed sex parties with food and musical laser-light shows for about six months in the rural, cabin-style home, which was filled with taxidermied animals, records show. The home is on a secluded lot outside Beecher, hundreds of yards from the closest neighbors.
The home, which is in foreclosure and scheduled to be auctioned at a sheriff's sale this month, belonged to Mark Ferrari, 54, who ran The Colosseum, a Mokena sports bar, restaurant, beer garden and music venue for about five years before it closed in 2009. Ferrari also owned construction and property maintenance businesses. Attempts to reach him were unsuccessful.
A phone number was listed on a Club Erotica brochure taken as evidence by investigators. The number rang up "Mike," who said he runs Club Erotica but declined to give his last name for privacy reasons.
Mike told the Tribune he "paid a lot of money" to lease the property, which the swingers club used on weekends for events such as "Naughty Schoolgirl Night" and a Super Bowl poker party, according to handwritten calendar entries in court records. The lease won't expire until December, though Mike said he was aware that the property might be auctioned before then. ...
E L James' novel 50 Shades of Grey has become a mainstream hit, in part by shining a spotlight on the world of sadomasochism, otherwise known as S&M. It's a sexual practice that combines bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, role-play, and pain to foster mutual pleasure between two consenting adults. It's not new; in fact, the term itself dates back to the late 1800s. But it's likely that consenting adults have been practicing this particular type of pleasure for much longer, as all of the characteristics of the lifestyle listed above really aren't that taboo even for partners participating in "vanilla" or "ordinary" sex.
In fact, the wide appeal of the type of sex portrayed in 50 Shades of Grey is evident in the fact that word of mouth alone initially drove 250,000 mainly digital sales of the trilogy of which this first book is a part. With the stunning popularity of the 50 Shades of Grey franchise, its publisher soon announced a printing of 750,000 hard copies of the books. The main title has already been greenlit to become a major motion picture. The steamy, at times violent world of 50 Shades of Grey is so acceptable to most that James just appeared on The View to discuss what some are calling the advent of "mommy porn."
Why is this work of S&M erotica such a pop sensation?
The appeal of 50 Shades of Grey to modern women, particularly those who don't practice S&M, likely lies in the romance that surrounds the two main characters of the book, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Steele, a white American recent college graduate, and Grey, a young white American billionaire who far exceeds Steele's economic class status, find themselves wrapped in a complicated love affair in which they must confront each other's differences.
On the surface, it looks like the relationship is destined to be problematic, as Grey's luxurious lifestyle is very foreign and unwanted by Steele. But truly, the two have very different ideas of sex and love, which becomes the main obstacle in their relationship and a challenge to overcome. Grey introduces Steele, a virgin with limited sexual experience, to his obsession with S&M, asking her to be his submissive and to allow him to be her dominant. Prior to this, Steele had barely even kissed another man, but finds herself turned on by the idea of pleasuring Grey, even if agreeing to be submissive to a man goes against her personality DNA as an independent woman.
While the roles of "submissive" and "dominant" would seem rather simple, as the prior obeys the latter's demands, the relationship is actually quite complex, as James illustrates in the book's plot. Consent is a mandatory, always present safeguard that protects both the submissive and dominant from doing anything they don't want to do, and thus, its presence makes the power relationship fluid. The desire to have a fantasy actualized can be stopped dead in its tracks at any moment by either party. And this risk in pushing each other's limits is a turn on for many.
Even outside of S&M relationships, the balance between dominance and submission in the bedroom, refereed by consent, is what can make sex so exciting. It's this parallel that James cleverly gets the reader to notice, and thus relate to, regardless of whether they practice S&M or not. Whether in their S&M roles or as vanilla lovers, Grey and Steele are a reflection of many modern couples that are working to find balance, despite the challenge of gender roles, sexual norms, and contemporary definitions of love. ...
What's happening to the sex lives of American women when an erotic trilogy focused on kinky sex becomes a top seller?
The books in question explicitly describe bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) as a relationship unfolds between recent college graduate Anastasia Steele and handsome young billionaire entrepreneur Christian Grey, who wants her to share his secret dominant/submissive sexual proclivities.
British writer E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed took the top three spots in USA TODAY's Best-Selling Books list, out today. The first book has been in the No. 1 spot for three weeks. It has been banned from library shelves across Florida and Georgia and parodied on Saturday Night Live.
"It's challenging for many people to define what a BDSM behavior is," says Debby Herbenick, an educator at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University- Bloomington.
The spectrum ranges from "handcuffs and little devices meant for spanking and things like that" to more extremes involving real pain.
Experts say that a big part of BDSM involves role-playing and an exchange of power. So how many people are tying up their partners or brandishing riding crops behind closed doors?
And is it OK?
"I would certainly say millions of people participate in it," Herbenick says, but there are no good numbers because no large national surveys have asked.
Don't call it 'mommy porn'
"We hear fairly often that the estimate on prevalence of BDSM is one in 10. We don't know whether or not that's accurate," says clinical psychologist Peggy Kleinplatz, a certified sex therapist and professor of medicine at University of Ottawa in Canada.
Susan Wright of Phoenix, founder of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, an advocacy group, says the trilogy shows BDSM "in a very responsible way," citing the "extended discussion about what each character wants from the sexual relationship, with great examples of 'hard limits' but also compromises."
She says, however, that the term "mommy porn" some have used to describe the books is "another way of denigrating women's interest in sexuality." ...
It's the twist in the Bashara case that had everyone whispering. Are there dungeons of debauchery in quiet, local communities? Wait until you see what Defender hidden cameras reveal!
Note: NCSF was alerted to the story the morning it was scheduled to air and was active in discussions with WDIV to convince them to further blur and obscure identifying characteristics of the attendees. We also specifically asked that they include positive information about BDSM, such as everyone in attendance is a consenting adult and is doing nothing illegal. As per NCSF's Incident Reporting and Response guidelines, NCSF continues to work with the local community to minimize any fallout from this story.
When I decided to read and review Fifty Shades of Grey, I was hopeful. I had heard Shades of Grey was erotica that catered to women and that women couldn’t stop talking about it. Because so much erotica is exploitive, demeaning, and just boring after awhile, I thought erotica that catered to women might stress women’s pleasure and power. I thought it might even be instructional.
There is little in the way of a productive dialogue about the mechanics of sex despite our culture dripping with teens hooking up on Glee, women throwing themselves at any Bachelor that shows up on TV, The Jersey Shore, and my neighborhood high school dance where my daughter informs me that “… [girls] don’t bend over more than 45 degrees because that’s just asking some guy to come up and grind on you.”
I thought that Shades of Grey might be a start of discussing how to improve sex within the context of sustaining relationships. After all, committed, sustaining relationships are very sexy to women. However, decades into a committed relationship when couples still want to connect sexually, where do they go other than the porn industry for real ideas about sex? ...
Shades of Grey isn’t anything close to what I thought it could be, so let me get this over with. It’s cliché porn. It’s just more cliché porn. The characters are predictable and two-dimensional. The story is too familiar and portrays a controlling, disturbed man as sexy and desirable. Remember Twilight’s Edward? The writing doesn’t help the story by being awful.
As a therapist who specializes in women and girls’ issues, my caseload usually has one client who is in therapy because of a relationship with a controlling, disturbed man. It’s damned discouraging to see women eating up this book like it’s Greek yogurt. ...