Just as there are many different forms a polyamorous relationship can take, there are many different reasons people choose polyamory. We're not always conscious of the reasons we do things, and sometimes we even make up reasons which have little to do with our real motivations.
What your daughter and her husband are doing is definitely an experiment, but not necessarily a doomed one; many poly relationships last for years, and there are lots of communities online and off to help polyamorists learn the communication and logistical skills they need.
We moderns tend to think of sexuality as the province of more-or-less monogamous couples, bound together by bonds of love, romantic possessiveness, and jealousy. But according to Sex at Dawn authors Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha, before 10,000 years ago the basic human sexual unit may not have been the couple at all, but rather the small nomadic hunter-gatherer group. Because nature provided for all their needs in abundance, these early humans would have had no modern concept of ownership or property. Everything would have been shared with the group, including sex. Sexual promiscuity would have been the rule rather than the exception.
The Atlanta Citizens Review Board on Thursday sustained allegations of abusive, anti-gay and racist language used by Atlanta Police Department officers during the botched raid of the Atlanta Eagle last year. But the board chose not to make recommendations for disciplinary action until more investigations into complaints by employees and patrons were completed.
The Eagle is a gay bar located on Ponce de Leon Avenue. It was raided in September 2009.
ATLANTA, GA - In coming to the conclusion that at least some Atlanta Police Officers used abusive, homophobic language, members of the volunteer citizen panel went against the recommendations of their paid staff. Atlanta Citizen Review Board executive director Chris Beamud says because the complaints were not made against specific officers by name, her staff had no choice.
"There are three in one home with separate apartments and I'm separate right now. We're hoping to be all in one home. I felt like the secretiveness of the society has been a little bit dangerous for the society, as well as the public. This is part of our reason for essentially coming out. This is a story that needs to be told. I think that by simply telling this story and not getting into prejudices it actually helps the society to understand."
Polygamy is illegal, but Kody explained that his family isn't breaking any laws since, "It's one legal marriage and the rest are commitment marriages. Like every other American family this takes everything we've got." The show premieres on TLC at 10 p.m. on September 26.
The two men sitting just inside the entrance to the S&M club look apprehensive as Erin Mathieson, 28, pulls out her badge and identfies herself as an investigator for the D.C. Alcoholic Beverage Control Board. One of them fetches the manager, a short blonde in a hot pink shirt and matching nail polish.
Mitzi, as the manager's nametag reads, leads Mathieson inside the warehouse-like space not far from Nationals Park. Mathieson tells Mitzi that she's gotten a complaint that the club, the Crucible, is selling alcohol without a license.
Mitzi assures the investigator that bondage and booze don't mix. "We don't want people to be drinking and hitting," she says.
In the 10 minutes Mathieson has been in the club, she has seen a woman dressed as a little girl with pigtails and a man getting a massage, but not anyone drinking or serving. And according to her bible, Title 25 of the D.C. Code, she can't inspect further tonight unless she sees alcohol service. So she leaves, knowing she will probably return.
Folsom Street Fair poster image draws inspiration from The Usual Suspects
San Francisco, CA - Monday, May 10, 2010 - Folsom Street Events has released poster designs for their annual events: Bay of Pigstm, Up Your Alley®, Magnitude®, and the Folsom Street Fair®. This year, the official Folsom Street Fair poster was inspired by both the film The Usual Suspects and the 2009 police raids on gay bars like the Atlanta Eagle and The Rainbow Lounge in Ft. Worth, Texas. In light of these recent events, the organization felt it was important that the Folsom Street Fair – and San Francisco – highlight issues of crime and punishment in the community. Folsom Street Events sought to juxtapose the crimes of Wall Street (e.g. Goldman Sachs) against behaviors in the BDSM community which may be punishable in some states.
According to Demetri Moshoyannis, Executive Director, "This year’s Folsom Street Fair poster is intended to draw attention to the ongoing discrimination and persecution facing consenting adults who practice BDSM. We are extremely pleased with the outcome of this poster because it maintains the tradition of our trademark cutting-edge commentary on our community within the broader society. We are very much looking forward to producing a fantastic series of internationally renowned events this year."
Mitchell Koonce, Administration and Special Projects Manager, who managed the creative process of producing the poster, commented, "Folsom Street Fair has a custom now of creating posters which are timely, provocative, and address vital community issues and values. At the same time, we like to give it our own ‘cheeky’ spin. With everything that has been happening on Wall Street, we think it is important to spotlight the real criminal behavior in society."
Consensual BDSM can be prosecuted in many jurisdictions under felony laws dealing with assault and sexual abuse with the potential for serious jail time. Criminal laws that are used against consensual BDSM practitioners can include assault, battery, sexual assault, sexual abuse, sadomasochistic abuse, lewd or lascivious conduct, selling or possessing certain sex toys, kidnapping, rape, prostitution, and trafficking. For many other categories of sex-related crimes, proof of consent defeats the prosecution’s case – not so with BDSM, which is treated as violence instead of consensual sexual conduct.
The criminalization of our communities can also be seen in recent local police actions targeting gay and leather bars. At the Atlanta Eagle, 62 patrons and eight employees were searched without a warrant, reasonable suspicion or probable cause on September 10, 2009. Some were forced to lie face down on the floor for over two hours, and the police used excessive force by bringing in the "Red Dog Unit" which typically deals with crimes such as gang violence. A similar show of unjustified and excessive police force took place during the raid on a gay bar in Forth Worth, Texas on the 40th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in June 2009. Less extreme but still troubling, some local community members have accused the ABC in the State of California of unfairly targeting gay events and leather bars to seek out "crimes" committed by consenting adults.
This targeting of consensual, adult behavior is often a way of harassing sexual minority communities. According to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), a national organization focused on the sexual freedom rights of alternative sexuality practitioners, numerous BDSM practitioners face criminal charges each year for consensual activity. According to NCSF spokesperson Susan Wright, the Coalition’s help hotline dealt with 106 criminal incidents in 2009. NCSF is actively working to decriminalize BDSM through its Consent Counts Project.
The Folsom Street Fair poster was made possible in part by Brian Mills of Titan Media who brilliantly photographed the images. Titan Media generously volunteered their studio for the photo shoots. Additionally, all of the models volunteered their time, including (in order from left to right): Alix (cow-punk), JR Matthews (rubber cop), Ken (pink furry pig), Sparkly Devil (Betty Paige), Jason (Wall Street guy), Mark (leather daddy), Monistat (drag queen), Mollena (Ms. SF Leather 2009 and International Ms. Leather 2010), and James (uniform/leather man), all of whom brought vitality and diversity to the final image.
Posters for Bay of Pigs, Up Your Alley, and Magnitude as well as Folsom Street Fair are available online at http://www.folsomstreetevents.org. The Up Your Alley poster was illustrated creatively by the talented Rob Clarke (robclarke.net). The Bay of Pigs poster features model Torrez, as photographed by Joe Oppedisano (http://www.joeoppedisano.com). The Magnitude poster features local SF models John, Keith and Mark, as photographed by Brian Mills.
At the time of this press release, Folsom Street Events sponsors include: PRESENTING RECON, NakedSword, Steamworks, Mr. S Leather, Kink.com, Manhunt, and GLOSS; PREMIER Elbow Grease, Blow Buddies; CHARTER ExtremeRestraints.com, TitanMen.com; SUPPORTING The Stockroom, Powerhouse, Gold’s Gym, Adult Friend Finder, StraightHell.net, TheDiscoSF, Past Curfew, and Cruzliner Tea Events; MEDIA Bay Area Reporter/BAR Tab, SF Weekly, SF Station, Frontiers Magazine, GAYVN; HOST HOTELS SF Marriott Marquis, Joie de Vivre, and Renoir Hotel.
Folsom Street Events receives support from SF Grants for the Arts for its top entertainment.
Bay of Pigs – Saturday, July 24, 2010
Up Your Alley – Sunday, July 25, 2010
Magnitude – Saturday, September 25, 2010
Folsom Street Fair – Sunday, September 26, 2010
About Folsom Street Events
Folsom Street Events® is a 501(c)(3) non-profit agency that produces four fetish events annually: Bay of Pigs, Up Your Alley, Magnitude, and Folsom Street Fair. The mission of Folsom Street Events is to create volunteer-driven leather events that provide the adult alternative lifestyle community with safe venues for self-expression while emphasizing freedom, fun, frolic and fetish and raising critical funds to benefit local charities. In 2009, Folsom Street Events marked the 26TH Folsom Street Fair with nearly 400,000 attendees and over $333,000 donated to charity.