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"Fifty Shades trilogy boosts appeal of dominant, submissive sexual relationships"

on Monday, 13 August 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Toronto Sun

... After devouring the trilogy — Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed — Trisha changed her profile on the dating service seekingarrangement.com, where she’s been looking for a “Sugar Daddy” for the past 18 months. In addition to someone who will indulge her with “shopping, spas, getaways, nights out on the town,” she added a new requirement: “Seeking a unique S&M relationship.”

Trisha, a.k.a. BlondeBarbie, explained in her profile update that, “I know there is no such thing as Christian Grey but please at least have a handful of his talents.”

She isn’t the only one who wants to turn the Fifty Shades fantasy into reality.

According to the site, between January and mid-July the words Christian Grey, Anastasia Steele and Fifty Shades appeared in the profiles of women throughout North America, including 4,931 Toronto women, 4,484 women in Vancouver, 986 in Ottawa and 10,657 in New York City.

A poll of its 1.6 million members, conducted by the site, shows 79 per cent of women like the idea of succumbing to a dominant male like Grey and 90 per cent of men find the idea of a submissive Steele exciting. (However, it’s important to note that when it comes to getting tied and whipped, that isn’t solely the domain of the female. Many women enjoy being sexually dominant and many men relish the role of submissive.)

It’s impossible to verify the site’s statistics independently, of course, or compare them with the experience of other dating sites such as Lavalife and Match.com, which told the Star they don’t track this.

But anecdotally, at least, it seems certain that there are lots of women out there who are turned on by the idea of a dominant-submissive relationship....

...

Not only is it exciting to give up control, but the role-playing and the fetish wear — leather, latex, corsets and clinchers — adds additional layers to the experience.

Susan Wright of The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, a U.S. group that advocates on behalf of alternative sexuality, says BDSM may appeal to men and women who crave more intensity.

She says the success of the trilogy has prompted a spike in the number of Americans attending BDSM events.

“Some people just want to spice up their (sex) life, but some people are just hard-wired for more intensity,” says Wright, the group’s spokesperson. “I don’t think we’re hard-wired to be dominant or submissive, but I think we’re hard-wired to want more intensity with our sex.”

One big benefit of BDSM, she says, is that the sex is way more intense than ordinary sex, says Wright, a sexual submissive who’s been married 19 years.

Others echo her comments....

 

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