NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"GQ's Totally Depressing Rihanna Interview"

on Friday, 16 November 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Slate

There are a lot of things to find disturbing about GQ's Rihanna profile, featured in its December "Men of the Year Issue"—like how naked she is or how she appears to have used the interview to stage another meeting with Chris Brown, further evidence that the two are back together and juicing the controversy of their reunion three years after Brown assaulted her.

But I admit I'm irritated about something else, too. In the words of writer Jay Bulger:

I ask what turns her on, because I know she'll answer. "I like to feel like a woman," she says. "I have to be in control in every other aspect of my life, so I feel like in a relationship, like I wanted to be able to take a step back and have somebody else take the lead." Do you ever switch things up? I ask. "I could absolutely be dominant," she answers. "But, in general, I'd rather ... How do I say this in like a ... non-X-rated version?" Right. Lastly, any boundaries I should know about? "Love makes you go places you probably wouldn't ever go, had it not been for love. But I think everybody still has their limits."

In the piece, this is the end of a clearly delineated section. And the next describes the night out that ends with Rihanna and Brown's rendezvous at a club. The connection is meant to be clear: Rihanna's preference for submission is the reason she's going back to Brown, going "places you probably wouldn't ever go, had it not been for love."

But submission doesn't have to be about seeking out abuse, be it physical or emotional. Dominance and submission are tools partners can use to negotiate what they want out of a sexual experience or a relationship. That power dynamic still allows for all involved to be safe. Similarly, women who return to partners who abused them aren't necessarily involved in dominant and submissive sexual relationships. ...

Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • Fetlife works very hard to keep members safe. They also work to protect everyone's freedoms. Criminal accusations should be made to local...

    Daisie

    23. March, 2015 |

  • Simple and brilliant. I will be using this in all of my Human Sexuality classes.

    Callista Lee

    11. March, 2015 |

  • i see why fetlife does this. all you need is someone who has been broken up with; they are angry and has a "ill fix them" attitude....

    pet

    11. March, 2015 |

  • people need to get their facts strait before they start lying to the world, reporters are idiots, how do they know fetlife has over 3.5...

    daisy

    11. March, 2015 |

  • Along similar lines, we setup a 12-step fellowship called Recovery in the Lifestyle. We hold meetings across the country, phone meetings,...

    Aarkey

    10. March, 2015 |

  • I've been trying to compose a comment now on all the mistakes that Ms. Caltabiano has made in the article on the early history of the...

    Rick Umbaugh

    06. March, 2015 |