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Guest Blog: Is Fifty Shades of Grey, the BDSM/Kinky Sex Stonewall?

on Saturday, 08 December 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline

by Bo Blaze

On June 28, 1969, at the Stonewall Inn, in Greenwich Village, NYC, a group of gay customers took a stand against police harassment and the Stonewall Riots began. These riots, are now largely regarded as the catalyst for the LGBT, civil rights movement in the United States. It is generally looked at as “the moment that changed everything.”

The riots themselves were not the reason that things changed, they were a moment in time that we can point to, when the bubble burst. A tipping point, when the publicity generated from an event brought mass attention to something that was on the edge of change.

The publishing of Fifty Shades of Grey is not the dawning of a literary masterpiece, a factually correct overview of how to do BDSM or a book that will likely be remembered any more than the drink menu & decor of the Stonewall Inn, back in 1969. Like it or not however, it’s an important moment in history.

The USA Today has reported that the Fifty Shades of Grey has sold over 32 million copies as of July 2012. It’s now the biggest selling book of all time in the UK and the biggest selling book on the Kindle platform in the US as well. When you look at how women are treating E.L.James, the writer of the book, you’d almost think she was the second coming of the Beatles. This kind of passion and sales success does not happen solely because of the content of a book, let alone one known as a “trashy romance novel.”

No, this is a shift in culture! This is millions of women reclaiming their right to be whoever and whatever they want to be in the bedroom, regardless of their politics.

These are every day women from all walks of life, overwhelmingly voting YES on the “kinky sex referendum”, saying:

“We like a little spanking and hair pulling… what’s wrong with that?”

Most importantly, people are looking around at the crazy success of this book and realizing, evidently, A WHOLE LOT OF US have these interests, urges and fantasies.

And certainly NOT just dominant male/submissive female fantasies but every combination and flavor that one can think of. These fetishes and predilections that we call BDSM are not about abuse, but rather consensual intimacy in the bedroom.

For years, Sex-positive feminists have embraced BDSM and opposed legal or social efforts to control any type of sexual activity between consenting adults, and now without a bottle thrown or even a harsh word uttered, millions of women around the world have joined them and initiated a bloodless coup, inspired  by of all things, a romance novel.

I believe this is part of a bigger picture however. Our world is changing for the better. We are evolving. People are starting to realize that, our institutions and their dogma, are failing us because they have become irrelevant in our ever changing society.

We must move towards truth and away from fear…

As an Alternative Life Coach I want to help people live a more alternative life. To me that simply means living a life where you are always growing, changing and evolving. Where you question, think and create. Where you refuse to settle for what you are told to do… and instead follow a path to real fulfillment and enlightenment.

How you decide to manifest that is up to you

Kinky sex is just one small way you can begin to shake things up a bit in your life. To not settle for the norm. To do something that you perhaps have always wanted to do but were too embarrassed or scared to embrace. Explore art, music, yoga, spirituality, service to your community, a new job doing what you really were meant to do!

When you stop growing… you start dying!

Let’s hope this is the year that it all changed. The year that a silly romance novel was the catalyst for an earth shattering kaboom! The year that we look back on and thank the universe that people are no longer persecuted, lose their children or shunned because of consensual acts in their bedrooms.

One of the reasons I’m writing this post is because I sat down to lunch last week with my good friend Susan Wright, who is the founder of the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom. As we excitedly compared notes on the 50 shades of Grey phenomenon, we were united in our belief that the reaction to this book could be a Stonewall of sorts, for alternative sexuality. That this could open up the lines of communication and change everything. But to do that, it’s going to take a lot of education and a lot of information.

Like most non profit groups, The National Coalition of Sexual Freedom is struggling right now to stay alive in this tough economy. We will need them now more then ever and I ask you to PLEASE SUPPORT THEM WITH A DONATION to help them continue to fight for your rights!

 

Bo Blaze is a PCC certified “Alternative” life coach; specializing in Alternative Sexual Relationships & Non-Traditional Lifestyles. Bo is a nationally known expert on Kink, Lifestyle BDSM, Ethical Non-Monogamy (Polyamory), the Fetish World and LGBT issues. He has taught and lectured all over the country at hundreds of universities, conferences and various alternative events. He is the winner of the 2011 Pantheon of Leather President’s Award and has helped thousands learn to practice Safe, Sane & Consensual BDSM over the last 10 years, as the the Novice Group facilitator, for the oldest & largest BDSM support and education group in the Country.

 

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