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"Is This Normal? 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Review"

on Tuesday, 08 May 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Rochester Patch

'Sex Should Be Like Math…'

When I decided to read and review Fifty Shades of Grey, I was hopeful. I had heard Shades of Grey was erotica that catered to women and that women couldn’t stop talking about it. Because so much erotica is exploitive, demeaning, and just boring after awhile, I thought erotica that catered to women might stress women’s pleasure and power. I thought it might even be instructional.

There is little in the way of a productive dialogue about the mechanics of sex despite our culture dripping with teens hooking up on Glee, women throwing themselves at any Bachelor that shows up on TV, The Jersey Shore, and my neighborhood high school dance where my daughter informs me that “… [girls] don’t bend over more than 45 degrees because that’s just asking some guy to come up and grind on you.”

I thought that Shades of Grey might be a start of discussing how to improve sex within the context of sustaining relationships. After all, committed, sustaining relationships are very sexy to women. However, decades into a committed relationship when couples still want to connect sexually, where do they go other than the porn industry for real ideas about sex? ...

Shades of Grey isn’t anything close to what I thought it could be, so let me get this over with. It’s cliché porn. It’s just more cliché porn. The characters are predictable and two-dimensional. The story is too familiar and portrays a controlling, disturbed man as sexy and desirable. Remember Twilight’s Edward? The writing doesn’t help the story by being awful.

As a therapist who specializes in women and girls’ issues, my caseload usually has one client who is in therapy because of a relationship with a controlling, disturbed man. It’s damned discouraging to see women eating up this book like it’s Greek yogurt. ...

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