NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"It’s No Longer Taboo, But Was BDSM Always This Nerdy?"

on Friday, 01 March 2013. Posted in NCSF in the News!, Front Page Headline, Media Updates

NY Magazine

You can probably predict most of what’s written in today’s New York Times story on the mainstreaming of kink. Fifty Shades of Grey made it so that everyone and their mom (especially their mom) could feel safe owning up to their desire to tie one another up, which makes the BDSM old-timers a little territorial, but mostly excited, because maybe our widespread enthusiasm will make their unjustly pathologized lifestyle more socially acceptable. (It would be nice if they couldn't lose child custody over it, for one.)

But what the Times story does reveal — though it never explicitly states it — is how fundamentally geeky BDSM is. Or rather, that the lifestyle shares many attributes of other nerd subcultures. Even safe words are kind of dorky, if you think about it — a word so silly you would never say it in the course of regular sex. One of the Times sources, “Deb,” is a lifelong Mets fan, so hers is “Yankees Rule,” because “she could only utter it under extreme duress.” It's enough to make you wonder if BDSM is just being DTF for the LARPing set. ...

There’s some actual overlap with science fiction and fantasy.
Susan Wright, a community manager for bondage site FetLife and spokeswoman for kink awareness group National Coalition for Sexual Freedom quoted by the Times, is also the author of nine Star Trek novels. And let’s not forget that Fifty Shades began as Twilight fan fiction! ...


Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • Fetlife works very hard to keep members safe. They also work to protect everyone's freedoms. Criminal accusations should be made to local...

    Daisie

    23. March, 2015 |

  • I think people should actually know that this K.N. is a horrible person. She has threatened my family, she has made sexual comments about...

    Ian

    15. March, 2015 |

  • Simple and brilliant. I will be using this in all of my Human Sexuality classes.

    Callista Lee

    11. March, 2015 |

  • i see why fetlife does this. all you need is someone who has been broken up with; they are angry and has a "ill fix them" attitude....

    pet

    11. March, 2015 |

  • people need to get their facts strait before they start lying to the world, reporters are idiots, how do they know fetlife has over 3.5...

    daisy

    11. March, 2015 |

  • Along similar lines, we setup a 12-step fellowship called Recovery in the Lifestyle. We hold meetings across the country, phone meetings,...

    Aarkey

    10. March, 2015 |