NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"Multiple lovers, stuck in the closet"

on Thursday, 30 August 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

The Trentonian

So a few weeks ago, I wrote a piece about the Showtime reality show “Polyamory: Married and Dating” and, you know, had some fun with it. After all, it is a show about a bunch of people having sex with a bunch of people of other. Fun.

Anyway, little did I know that real polyamorous people — you know, those not having sex on camera for money — are, in large part, completely, 100 percent “in the closet.” Their families don’t know. Their employers don’t know. No one knows. Even two people on the Showtime show were closeted (at least until the show aired, duh).

Why? Because they’re fearful their families would shun them, their employers would fire them, everyone will look at them like sex-crazed fiends.

As it turns out …

“This lifestyle choice isn’t all hedonism and group sex,” one “poly” person told me via Facebook. “It’s mostly based on all the normal, mundane yet wonderful stuff you ‘monos’ experience on a daily basis (like) grocery shopping, TV, spats over who has to mow the lawn. I felt compelled to let you know that the ‘everyone sleeps with everyone’ style of polyamory depicted in the show is not indicative of every poly relationship out there.”

Another poly person echoes the point.

“It is like any other group dynamic,” she said. “OK, so that is over-simplifying it, but it is true.”

And both these people were adamant about staying anonymous.

“I myself am afraid to ‘come out’ as poly at my place of work for fear that someone’s small-minded judgement might cost me my job,” one said.

Same goes for the other person, who at first posted her thoughts on my Facebook page.

“I realized that it may cause problems where I work,” she said. “I have no problem answering any questions about it, but I work for the state and, well, you understand, I hope.”

Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • movimiento de réplicas de relojes mecánicos suizos | relojes | relojes
    movimiento de réplicas de relojes mecánicos suizos | relojes |...

    sakrsaulb

    28. May, 2016 |

  • How do I follow this blog? How do I keep updated? Good that you have this.

    James Graves

    21. May, 2016 |

  • I would gently say that this self appointed "sexologist" needs some significant councilling to help him deal with his damaging and...

    Robyn

    12. May, 2016 |

  • I am looking forward to being able to hear the recorded sessions from the Consent Summit. So grateful that you were able to do this for...

    Chris

    28. April, 2016 |

  • Thanks for posting your note and calling out to others looking for professional dialogue, networking and resources around serving LGBTQ,...

    Cindy Trawinski, Psy.D.

    28. April, 2016 |

  • This makes a great deal of sense as it fits very much in with foreplay and some very sensual lead up to some excellent mind, body, soul &...

    M.Wryter

    13. April, 2016 |