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"New York's bondage scene: More than mommy porn fodder"

on Thursday, 16 August 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Metro

After the sensational story of a hot-blooded break-up between a young Manhattan sex slave and her high-powered CEO master -- coupled with the popularity of "Fifty Shades of Grey" -- a curiosity is emerging for New York City's underground fetish world.

And it's prompting those who live it to speak out.

The city plays host to dozens of sex clubs, both public and private, visited by thousands of people looking to quench their sexual desires. Though the mainstream perception of BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism) and S&M (sadomasochism) is a sexual free-for-all, those who practice it say a relationship formed within these communities is just like any other.

"People fail to realize that BDSM is just a microcosm of the population as a whole," Guy Sanders, spokesperson for The Eulenspiegel Society, a BDSM education and support group, told Metro. "It's kind of like how being gay was years ago. Because people have formulated their own opinions about you and what you are, it's not prudent to allow your sexual history to come out."

And many more Americans have engaged in some type of BDSM sex play than one may realize: According to the 1993 Janus Report on Sexual Behavior, 14 percent of men and 11 percent of women in the U.S. have experienced a sado-masochist sexual experience.

But don't expect those involved in such relationships to be very forthcoming about it. The stigma that surrounds alternative sexuality makes many of those who practice it keep it under wraps.

"One in three people who are kinky are persecuted. That could be losing a job or losing child custody to having troubles with your family," Susan Wright from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom said.

And she applauds books like the "Fifty Shades" for making bondage sex more accepted -- or at least, easier to experiment with.

"[Fifty Shades] has been wonderful publicity for the BDSM community," Wright said. "I'm hoping ... that it will become tolerated that people have kinky elements to their sexual relationships."

BDSM and S&M relationships can be monogamous or polyamorous, meaning couples either swing together or both partners share other lovers. And insiders said plenty of solid relationships and marriages exist among community members.

"It's not all whips and chains and sleeping around," Sanders said, "There is a love and commitment in these relationships." ...

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  • kink* (darn autocorrect)

    Luke Adams

    05. March, 2015 |

  • It took me a couple of days before I could process enough of this jaw-droppingly ahistorical mess of an article to post some reply here...

    Luke Adams

    05. March, 2015 |

  • I'm open to changing my mind, but it seems to me that Fetlife is not an appropriate place to bring criminal charges. Any open forum could...

    Silenus

    04. March, 2015 |

  • I'm going to take this writer at her word and approach this "from a critical standpoint": it's bad history, badly and glibly and...

    Patrick Mulcahey

    04. March, 2015 |

  • Any time someone starts their Leather or BDSM "history" with "started as a sub" my BS detector goes into overdrive. This person has...

    Kenneth Anthony

    04. March, 2015 |

  • Where's the rest of the article? It just ends worth "no longer qualifies..."

    Heather Vandegrift

    18. February, 2015 |