NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"Working With Your Partner to Spice Up a Sex Life"

on Saturday, 25 February 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

The Ledger

On an online discussion group for therapists …

Therapist No. 1 wrote in: "The husband has developed an interest in BDSM practices and is insisting his wife participate with him. The wife is seriously turned off by the new games and doesn't want to play. Suggestions?"

Therapist No. 2 responded: "Well, no one should be expected to do things against their wishes, but what is BDSM?"

Therapist No. 3 responded: "BDSM = Bondage and Discipline, Sadomasochism."

Therapist No. 4 chimes in and suggests that kinky clients deserve "kink-aware" therapists who understand their needs and lifestyle. He offers a directory of kink-aware therapists. Vanilla therapists need to stick to vanilla clients, "vanilla" meaning tending to practice the more familiar expressions of sexual love and avoiding the "walk on the wild side."

Where we camp out on the continuum of kink is a matter of individual choice. It gets more challenging when partners have to blend their respective desires into one sex life. Negotiations become extremely difficult when one lover is "vanilla" to the point of being resistant to trying any new sexual activities.

The flip side is the challenge of a partner who has a persistent desire for a particular sex act that is unappealing, frightening or repugnant. Rigid insistence on having it your way can lead to major resentments. ...

Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • My life partner and I have been together since 1961, and polyamorous since 1967. We have had a number of lovers over the years, an...

    Silenus

    20. August, 2015 |

  • WRONG. once she knew that his mental capacity was compromised by his health she needed to acknowledge that. He wasn't fully able to give...

    TURN ON YOUR BRAIN

    19. August, 2015 |

  • I've been watching for the last decade how gold digging exploiters have found bdsm as a means to pad their pockets especially women using...

    TURN ON YOUR BRAIN

    19. August, 2015 |

  • I am a long time fetishist and a pro Dominatrix. I purposely choose to have my studio in an industrial space more than 1000 ft from any...

    TURN ON THE BRAIN

    19. August, 2015 |

  • What we have here is a he said/she said issue. Until a formal investigation is completed nobody knows who is telling the truth or what...

    Dirk Pitt

    12. August, 2015 |

  • I was enlightened. It gives me an incentive to return to the adult entertainment industry. I really enjoyed this article.

    chris bacos

    05. August, 2015 |