NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"Working With Your Partner to Spice Up a Sex Life"

on Saturday, 25 February 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

The Ledger

On an online discussion group for therapists …

Therapist No. 1 wrote in: "The husband has developed an interest in BDSM practices and is insisting his wife participate with him. The wife is seriously turned off by the new games and doesn't want to play. Suggestions?"

Therapist No. 2 responded: "Well, no one should be expected to do things against their wishes, but what is BDSM?"

Therapist No. 3 responded: "BDSM = Bondage and Discipline, Sadomasochism."

Therapist No. 4 chimes in and suggests that kinky clients deserve "kink-aware" therapists who understand their needs and lifestyle. He offers a directory of kink-aware therapists. Vanilla therapists need to stick to vanilla clients, "vanilla" meaning tending to practice the more familiar expressions of sexual love and avoiding the "walk on the wild side."

Where we camp out on the continuum of kink is a matter of individual choice. It gets more challenging when partners have to blend their respective desires into one sex life. Negotiations become extremely difficult when one lover is "vanilla" to the point of being resistant to trying any new sexual activities.

The flip side is the challenge of a partner who has a persistent desire for a particular sex act that is unappealing, frightening or repugnant. Rigid insistence on having it your way can lead to major resentments. ...

Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • We need a tested slave contract that is NOT rejected as a defense from over zealous third party prosecution. I attempted to draft such a...

    Xtac

    28. June, 2016 |

  • It's not time for the marriage laws to recognize anything. It is time for us to get rid of all the marriage laws.

    John Ullman

    25. June, 2016 |

  • Dear Jennifer,

    I read your article on slavery contracts and was wondering if you could tell me if they can be enforced in any way at...

    melissa

    17. June, 2016 |

  • CONSENT! CONSENT! CONSENT!

    phdz

    09. June, 2016 |

  • How do I follow this blog? How do I keep updated? Good that you have this.

    James Graves

    21. May, 2016 |

  • I would gently say that this self appointed "sexologist" needs some significant councilling to help him deal with his damaging and...

    Robyn

    12. May, 2016 |