NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"Working With Your Partner to Spice Up a Sex Life"

on Saturday, 25 February 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

The Ledger

On an online discussion group for therapists …

Therapist No. 1 wrote in: "The husband has developed an interest in BDSM practices and is insisting his wife participate with him. The wife is seriously turned off by the new games and doesn't want to play. Suggestions?"

Therapist No. 2 responded: "Well, no one should be expected to do things against their wishes, but what is BDSM?"

Therapist No. 3 responded: "BDSM = Bondage and Discipline, Sadomasochism."

Therapist No. 4 chimes in and suggests that kinky clients deserve "kink-aware" therapists who understand their needs and lifestyle. He offers a directory of kink-aware therapists. Vanilla therapists need to stick to vanilla clients, "vanilla" meaning tending to practice the more familiar expressions of sexual love and avoiding the "walk on the wild side."

Where we camp out on the continuum of kink is a matter of individual choice. It gets more challenging when partners have to blend their respective desires into one sex life. Negotiations become extremely difficult when one lover is "vanilla" to the point of being resistant to trying any new sexual activities.

The flip side is the challenge of a partner who has a persistent desire for a particular sex act that is unappealing, frightening or repugnant. Rigid insistence on having it your way can lead to major resentments. ...

Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • How do I follow this blog? How do I keep updated? Good that you have this.

    James Graves

    21. May, 2016 |

  • I would gently say that this self appointed "sexologist" needs some significant councilling to help him deal with his damaging and...

    Robyn

    12. May, 2016 |

  • I am looking forward to being able to hear the recorded sessions from the Consent Summit. So grateful that you were able to do this for...

    Chris

    28. April, 2016 |

  • Thanks for posting your note and calling out to others looking for professional dialogue, networking and resources around serving LGBTQ,...

    Cindy Trawinski, Psy.D.

    28. April, 2016 |

  • This makes a great deal of sense as it fits very much in with foreplay and some very sensual lead up to some excellent mind, body, soul &...

    M.Wryter

    13. April, 2016 |

  • The problem for the judge was that the cpomplainants withheld important relevant information and changed their stories significantly...

    Nancy

    26. March, 2016 |