NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"Working With Your Partner to Spice Up a Sex Life"

on Saturday, 25 February 2012. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

The Ledger

On an online discussion group for therapists …

Therapist No. 1 wrote in: "The husband has developed an interest in BDSM practices and is insisting his wife participate with him. The wife is seriously turned off by the new games and doesn't want to play. Suggestions?"

Therapist No. 2 responded: "Well, no one should be expected to do things against their wishes, but what is BDSM?"

Therapist No. 3 responded: "BDSM = Bondage and Discipline, Sadomasochism."

Therapist No. 4 chimes in and suggests that kinky clients deserve "kink-aware" therapists who understand their needs and lifestyle. He offers a directory of kink-aware therapists. Vanilla therapists need to stick to vanilla clients, "vanilla" meaning tending to practice the more familiar expressions of sexual love and avoiding the "walk on the wild side."

Where we camp out on the continuum of kink is a matter of individual choice. It gets more challenging when partners have to blend their respective desires into one sex life. Negotiations become extremely difficult when one lover is "vanilla" to the point of being resistant to trying any new sexual activities.

The flip side is the challenge of a partner who has a persistent desire for a particular sex act that is unappealing, frightening or repugnant. Rigid insistence on having it your way can lead to major resentments. ...

Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • NCSF posts Media Updates on articles that we want people to comment on. Whether they're positive or negative articles, we help drive...

    NCSF

    25. June, 2015 |

  • Someone dropped the ball on this whole story. How did he get a license in Virginia with what happened in Florida? Simple. He got the...

    Guest

    23. June, 2015 |

  • I agree. I would highly recommend NCSF not repost articles defaming feminists.

    Angela Anderson

    08. June, 2015 |

  • Females didn't 'submit'. They were overtaken without choice.

    Many anthropological studies fail to mention the native ancient...

    Sacchiridites

    04. June, 2015 |

  • "Feminists" are not trying to redefine all regrettable sexual experiences as rape, feminists are trying to get actual victims to be heard...

    Brian Flaherty

    04. June, 2015 |

  • I just wonder in this day of supposed enlightenment and supposed understanding when people will realize that same-sex marriages and...

    M.Wryter

    28. May, 2015 |