NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: Feminism vs. BDSM"

on Thursday, 19 December 2013. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Is being kinky, and a feminist something I should withhold from conversation even if its relevant?

XO Jane

XOJane, I've found myself struggling for the last year with personal, but conflicting interests. I strongly consider myself a feminist, yes I could be more well read in the history, and politics, but that's pretty much where my allegiances are. My feminism isn't the root of the issue, it's my realization and passion being kinky!
In college, I had taken Philosophy of Sexuality, and for an essay I was assigned to debate if BDSM was a perversion. More specifically if Sadomasochistic sexual encounters were a perversion. For the first that semester I was stumped. I  could only see it from one point of view, that of course it wasn't a perversion, if there was complete communication and consent. That was a break through point in my sexuality, realizing this was why I've always felt unsatisfied, or uncomfortable. I identity as submissive sexually. Naturally thats the best way to label it, at least with in the Kink community. As a human, and a feminist I believe in equality in all aspects. Striving for that equality in my sexuality, has lead me to find the healthiest, most balanced sexual relationships for me have incorporated S&M, because communication is extremely key to that whole experience.
But here's the breaking point, How do identify as a feminist, and a submissive at the same time?
I feel like I'm betraying my feminist beliefs by enjoying something that from the outside seems very misogynistic. I'm feeling guilty, and confused about the whole matter. I can't stop being ether.  I've gotten poor reactions when my interest in BDSM has come up around other feminists. (I've been part of a group of very strong minded, feminist artists.) ...

Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • My life partner and I have been together since 1961, and polyamorous since 1967. We have had a number of lovers over the years, an...

    Silenus

    20. August, 2015 |

  • WRONG. once she knew that his mental capacity was compromised by his health she needed to acknowledge that. He wasn't fully able to give...

    TURN ON YOUR BRAIN

    19. August, 2015 |

  • I've been watching for the last decade how gold digging exploiters have found bdsm as a means to pad their pockets especially women using...

    TURN ON YOUR BRAIN

    19. August, 2015 |

  • I am a long time fetishist and a pro Dominatrix. I purposely choose to have my studio in an industrial space more than 1000 ft from any...

    TURN ON THE BRAIN

    19. August, 2015 |

  • What we have here is a he said/she said issue. Until a formal investigation is completed nobody knows who is telling the truth or what...

    Dirk Pitt

    12. August, 2015 |

  • I was enlightened. It gives me an incentive to return to the adult entertainment industry. I really enjoyed this article.

    chris bacos

    05. August, 2015 |