NCSF on Twitter   Subscribe to the NCSF RSS Feed   NCSF Blog

"YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: Feminism vs. BDSM"

on Thursday, 19 December 2013. Posted in Front Page Headline, Media Updates

Is being kinky, and a feminist something I should withhold from conversation even if its relevant?

XO Jane

XOJane, I've found myself struggling for the last year with personal, but conflicting interests. I strongly consider myself a feminist, yes I could be more well read in the history, and politics, but that's pretty much where my allegiances are. My feminism isn't the root of the issue, it's my realization and passion being kinky!
In college, I had taken Philosophy of Sexuality, and for an essay I was assigned to debate if BDSM was a perversion. More specifically if Sadomasochistic sexual encounters were a perversion. For the first that semester I was stumped. I  could only see it from one point of view, that of course it wasn't a perversion, if there was complete communication and consent. That was a break through point in my sexuality, realizing this was why I've always felt unsatisfied, or uncomfortable. I identity as submissive sexually. Naturally thats the best way to label it, at least with in the Kink community. As a human, and a feminist I believe in equality in all aspects. Striving for that equality in my sexuality, has lead me to find the healthiest, most balanced sexual relationships for me have incorporated S&M, because communication is extremely key to that whole experience.
But here's the breaking point, How do identify as a feminist, and a submissive at the same time?
I feel like I'm betraying my feminist beliefs by enjoying something that from the outside seems very misogynistic. I'm feeling guilty, and confused about the whole matter. I can't stop being ether.  I've gotten poor reactions when my interest in BDSM has come up around other feminists. (I've been part of a group of very strong minded, feminist artists.) ...

Social Bookmarks

Comments (0)

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.

Cancel Submitting comment...

Latest Reader Comments

  • I can say definitely yes it can still effect you. As a survivor of sexual abuse and molestation when I was 5 to 12 years of age, and now...

    Misty

    22. July, 2016 |

  • This has been I can see a long time in coming and I say welcome to it and to these wonderful people who took the step to give this honest...

    M. Wryter

    20. July, 2016 |

  • I was allegedly sexually molested when I was around 13 yrs old. I'm sure years later it still affects me as it is in my sub conscious...

    James Graves

    20. July, 2016 |

  • Well what Lady says does make perfect sense. In experiencing " subspace " both partners can have a shared emotion and being coupled...

    M. Wryter

    07. July, 2016 |

  • We need a tested slave contract that is NOT rejected as a defense from over zealous third party prosecution. I attempted to draft such a...

    Xtac

    28. June, 2016 |

  • It's not time for the marriage laws to recognize anything. It is time for us to get rid of all the marriage laws.

    John Ullman

    25. June, 2016 |