When most folks think leather or BDSM — that is, bondage, domination, sadism, masochism — chills might run up their spine. Or, perhaps, feelings of disgust flash through their mind.
It’s that initial, gut reaction that most upsets Pam Payne. She lives in and around Hickory and operates a mentoring program and four-bedroom “halfway house,” so to speak, for people in the leather and BDSM “lifestyles” who find themselves in flux or in need of some extra help. She is a part of the BDSM lifestyle herself and she says her way of living is about much more than images of sexual power, pain and perversion most people ascribe to it.
“It’s not purely a sexual identity,” Payne says in rebuttal to arguments about her life and family. “I’d say its a balance of 50-50 — people who just want to belong on a level that doesn’t exist in the vanilla world.”
“Vanilla” is how Payne describes mainstream society, whether gay or straight.
She says most people in the BDSM lifestyle simply long for acceptance and relationships that matter. “I want to be able to do this for you, give this to you, serve you in this way and, in return, I want you to take care of me in this particular way,” she says, describing a typical relationship which she says is built over periods of months — sometimes years — and depends on negotiation and contract.
Where does consent begin and end in the eyes of the law when it comes to rough sex involving dominance and submission play?
Should adults engaging in consensual sexual behavior be subject to criminal laws including assault and battery? What local, state, or federal laws could be used against you for engaging in consensual BDSM activity? What does consent mean, who can give it, and what are its limits? How do we distinguish between consensual BDSM and domestic violence or abuse when such matters come before our law enforcement officials and enter into the court system? What are the boundaries of consent and sexual freedom?
The controversial sex film festival, Pornotopia, is being forced to censor its act after the city of Albuquerque said that type of adult entertainment is not allowed in the section of town where it booked a theater. Full story and video...
"Zoning Issue Nixes Nudity, Pornotopia" KOAT - Albuquerque
The provocative film festival “Pornotopia” has been postponed because the city doesn’t allow adult entertainment at the festival’s proposed site near downtown Albuquerque.
With months of planning, researching and now no place to go, Co-Director of Pornotopia Molly Adler said the film festival’s status is unclear. Full story and video...
A Manhattan judge has ordered the New York City Police Department to shine a light on the hazy legal line separating bondage, domination and sadomasochism from prostitution.
In a decision last week, New York County Supreme Court Justice Carol R. Edmead (See Profile) directed the NYPD to provide the Urban Justice Center's Sex Workers Project with documents regarding police investigations of several Manhattan bondage, domination and sadomasochism clubs between 2006 and 2008.
The critics, the financial backers, the friends and the family of cast and crew came to see Paul Weitz’s comedy “Trust,” but one more interested observer needed to weigh in, and she wasn’t there to judge which lines got the biggest laughs.
Mistress Kaya, a New York dominatrix, had been hired to help the cast, which includes Zach Braff and Sutton Foster, learn more about how to bring S&M to the stage.
Yale’s president, Richard Levin, and other leading administrators seem to view Sex Week with a “kids will be kids” attitude. If he and other administrators don’t care about the moral problems associated with showing films of women being degraded sexually and verbally by men, then maybe awareness of the legal and financial risks they are running will get their attention.
Several of the nation's premiere universities host Sex Weeks: weeklong celebrations of human sexuality, typically led by students, with activities that can range from the screening of porn films to sex-toy giveaways.
To say that the events lack academic merit would not be quite fair.
Yale's last Sex Week, in February, featured a workshop on human sex trafficking, a presentation on erotic piercings and something called BDSM 101...
The season-four premiere of Mad Men didn't just introduce SCDP’s cute new office and Peggy's adorable new haircut, it set up what could be this fetishistic show's kinkiest sexual relationship yet: Don Draper, the “son of a whore,” is regularly sleeping with a prostitute — and asking her to slap him, too. As far as mainstream TV dramas go, this is fairly unprecedented stuff: Masochism is typically treated as joke (Desperate Housewives) or as prelude to grisly murder (CSI). On Mad Men, however, Don’s shocking but brief, slap-happy sexual interlude is not just stratospherically, nakedly Oedipal, it makes sense — both for him, and as a kind of mirror of fans' obsession with the show. Weiner could kill this story line at any minute, but it will be fascinating to see how far he pushes it — and us.