Sex-toy raffles and giveaways? Workshops featuring graphic, violent pornography and simulated sex techniques? Teaching about polyamory but not about monogamy or abstinence?
All those events have transpired recently on campuses across the country—perhaps unbeknownst to many parents, alumni, and even professors. As the word gets out about such controversial programs, university administrators must decide what kinds of sex-education programs should be offered to their students, and
Few mainstream therapists would contemplate trying to persuade a gay man or lesbian to "grow up, get real, and stop being gay." But most insist that long-term sexual monogamy is "normal," while the curiosity and novelty-seeking inherent in human sexuality are signs of pathology. Thus, couples are led to believe that waning sexual passion in enduring marriages or sexual interest in anyone but their partner portend a failed relationship, when in reality these things often signify nothing more than that we are Homo sapiens...
Dr Brian PhD, a.k.a. “Dr. B”, a.k.a. “DrG”, with a Masters from the University of New Orleans and a PhD from Bowling Green State University in Psychology with a focus on Sexuality and Interpersonal Relations, has led many research projects, written papers, and presented at national conferences regarding his research on s-e-x. Hell, they even let him teach college a few times. He is not a therapist or counselor, but he is an opinionated smart-ass with regular access to a computer. He is also a fan of hip-hop, vodka martinis, and girls that wear skirts in the winter.
His advice is intended for entertainment purposes only and is probably not very good anyway. His interviews are even worse.
Q: At the start of our relationship, my girlfriend and I played around with the idea of having a threesome (with another girl), but we never actually ended up doing it. Now that we’re full on into the relationship, I’m afraid that there’s no real way to bring up the question again. Do you have any advice for couples and threesomes? Is it generally bad news bears or do you think it’s a healthy form of sexual experimentation?
A: I must admit that when I started reading your email and considering my response, I played around with a whole bunch of awesome directions I could take. My hands were salivating to bang out a column so clever that not only was it guaranteed to get you knee-deep in threesomes, but it would have resulted in enough widespread orgification to make Hands Across America jealous.
That was, until I got to the the end of your email. Are threesomes “Bad News Bears” you ask? Yes – for anyone that uses the phrase “Bad News Bears” in a letter to a sex advice columnist in hopes of convincing his long term girlfriend to suddenly allow him to bang another chick with, not only her consent, but also her participation. I’m pretty sure you missed the boat on this one, and unless you can purge terms like that from your vocabulary and figure out a way to bring it up again (what’s wrong with “Hey baby, remember that three-way we talked about a while ago? So wassup with that?”)
I will give you credit for bringing up the topic early on, the key to getting your fantasies fulfilled is to let them be known. However, it doesn’t seem like it was all that important as it was easy to push aside in favor of, I don’t know – doing laundry together? Sometimes our goals are so important, so urgent, that they drive our obsessions and help guide our decisions and dammit if we ain’t getting a threesome! Other times, they seem like things that might be more fun to talk about, but we somehow seem to never get around to it, like that second book I keep threatening to write. Never take your eye off the prize (or ball if you’re a little league outfielder for a ragtag team of misfits), depending on you and your girlfriend’s level of interest of course.
Oh, and yes. It can be a very healthy form of sexual experimentation. Now go get a few.
PS. Is my girlfriend reading this? Cuz baby, I totally got my eye on that one friend of yours…
March 10, 2009 - The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) is a proud member of the Stop the Arrests Coalition. Spokesperson Susan Wright has participated in organizing meetings and spoke out at the Sheridan Square Rally on February 21st, 2009, against the false arrests of gay men and professional Dominatrices for prostitution.
There is good news from a meeting on March 6th with Police Commissioner Ray Kelly pledging to curb the stings against gay men (see articles below). NCSF is continuing to press for a cessation of arrests of professional Dominatrices, and has written to Commissioner Kelly to ask for a meeting about the NYPD's change in policy after 14 years of legal operation, which has resulted in a number of arrests of Dominatrices and owners of BDSM houses since Fall 2007.
NCSF opposes the prosecution of pro-dominants under prostitution laws. Consenting adults engaging in safe, sane, consensual SM, fetishes, and cross-dressing services do not pose legitimate health or safety issues for local communities. What these adults agree to do in private is no one else's business.
Members of the Stop the Arrests Coalition include: Queer Justice League, Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, Sex Workers Outreach Project, Urban Justice League's Sex Worker Project, and FIERCE New York.