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“Threesomes, Butt Plugs, and ‘Game of Thrones’ Role Play: ?What Happened When I Tried Something New in Bed Every Week for 8 Weeks”

Marieclaire

by SOPHIE SAINT THOMAS

mplete honesty ahead: I’ve been with my live-in boyfriend for a year now, and while our sex life is certainly fulfilling, it’s not necessarily…kinky. We know what we like, what we don’t like, and, with our insane work schedules, sticking with the simple stuff comes easier than spending hours on, say, shibari rope bondage.

But I really don’t want commitment to give way to sexual monotony. It’s such a cliché! I want to keep our sexual escapades as exciting as they can be—plus, it’s important to make room for your wild side, right?

Sure, I’ve experimented in other relationships, but I haven’t in this relationship. And considering I’m in love with this partner, it’s high time we raised the bar to see where we can go sexually as a couple. If we can see ourselves being simpatico with money and neuroses and hectic work schedules, then I also need to know if we can handle a butt plug with skill.

So, in an effort to up our sexual prowess, I declared a mission: We try something new in bed every week for eight weeks to incorporate more kink to our routine.

Follow along with our XXX-rated journey.

1. Week One: Anal

The day we first had full-on anal sex was the day we attended a Bernie Sanders rally in Queens. Because…sure. Why not?

It was, in all fairness, a great Saturday. We saw Bernie speak, went out for some of the best ramen in New York City, then we came home to our pre-marital bed and decided to try a whole new way to have sex. While we’ve both done anal before, it was our first time doing anal to completion together—and I was nervous about a successful run. In my own sexual history, anal attempts can sometimes dissolve into rather awkward “oow oow that hurts!” and then you’re just. kind of. done. Pain, if not engineered, is not sexy.

“WE LAUGHED OUR ASSES OFF.??”

I’ve heard from porn stars to be selective about what you eat before getting it on anally, but I can attest that we (surprisingly!) experienced no issues after consuming spicy miso ramen. We did, however, used plenty of lube before anything was inserted anywhere. Your butt can’t lubricate itself, and forgoing lube is not only uncomfortable, but you’re putting yourself more at risk for tearing. We started by lubing up a finger (which honestly felt great as I got used to the somewhat familiar sensation) and when I finally felt comfortable, we progressed to full-on penis. And for the first time—call it love or diligent prep work—anal sex went off without a hitch. I’m now proud to say my partner and I have exceptional anal chemistry.

I’ll be adding this to our repertoire.

2. Week Two: Name Calling

Outside of the bedroom, if my boyfriend ever called me a “slut,” I’d tell him to pack his stuff and get the fuck out. But in bed, being called a “slut” is apparently a big turn-on for me.

Our standard “dirty talk”—if you can even call it that—is predominantly just cooing things like “baby” to each other while we go at it. Hardly winning us any porn awards, I know. And since “slut” is not a word my partner would typically feel comfortable using with me, the way we worked it in was straightforward: I asked him to. During a slur of other filthy speech—in which we narrated all the sexual acts we were performing on one another—I asked him to tell me I’m a slut, and he did, and I came. That’s that. …