‘There is a choice, other than cheating or serial monogamy and multiple divorces or failed relationships’
CBC News
By Alison Crawford
Canadian family laws, which adapted for common-law and same-sex couples, as well as multiple parents of children conceived using reproductive technologies, may have to adapt once again, according to new research on polyamory.
This summer John-Paul Boyd, executive director of the Canadian National Research Institute for Law and the Family, conducted the first national survey of polyamorous families. Polyamorists are people who choose to commit themselves to more than one committed intimate partner at the same time.
“It’s not a huge number of people, but it’s still significant and I believe the population is growing,” said Boyd.
More than 550 people responded to the survey, which found most of Canada’s polyamorists live in B.C. and Ontario, followed by Alberta.
Polyamorists hope for future legal recognition
While half of respondents reported having relationships that involved three people, most choose to live in two households. Twenty-three per cent of those surveyed said at least one child lives full-time in their house.
Respondents also reported higher levels of education and income than most Canadians. Yet only one-third of those polyamorists said they had taken legal steps to formalize the rights and responsibilities of everyone in the family.
Polyamory is not polygamy
Unlike polygamist families, which are typically faith-based, patriarchal arrangements where one man marries two or more women, polyamory is legal because no one is married to more than one person at the same time.
Polyamorists further distinguish themselves from polygamists by highlighting that their relationships are consensual and egalitarian.
“Nothing in the Criminal Code stops three or more consenting, informed adults from living together and engaging in a family relationship how and as they please,” said Boyd.
As for why he chose this line of research, Boyd says he grew curious after a number of polyamorous clients approached him for legal help.
“Most people who are involved in polyamorous relationships have executed emergency authorizations to deal with health-care issues. Following that, most people had done school authorizations so other adults could deal with the school on behalf of the kids, followed by legal and medical powers of attorney and things like this,” he said.
Yet those measures only go so far. Boyd explains many laws and regulations only accommodate someone with a single married or common-law spouse. For instance in Alberta, the Adult Interdependent Relationships Act clearly sets out that someone may not have more than one common-law partner at the same time.
That hasn’t stopped Shannon Ouellette.
Divorce a means to an end?
“About 3½ years ago we made the decision to open up our marriage and we each have additional partners. I have a male partner who lives in England and my husband has a female partner who lives here with us,” Ouellette told CBC News at her home in northern Alberta, “There is a choice, other than cheating or serial monogamy and multiple divorces or failed relationships.”
However, after two children and 22 years of being happily married, Ouellette and her husband have started talking about divorce as a way to accommodate their new family.
“I don’t want to have to divorce my husband in order to marry my partner so that we can be in one country together — but we have discussed it,” she said.
But divorce wouldn’t solve other legal issues unique to polyamorous families.
“My husband’s partner is going to school and we’re paying for her schooling and you know we don’t get to claim her tuition or books and my husband doesn’t get to claim her as a dependent even though we’re supporting her,” Ouellette said. …