“Polyamorous and kinky folks spend a lot of time and effort negotiating what they want in their relationships. This is in part because there are so few role models for kinky and poly folks that they must create their relationships with discussions of how many partners they want, how to interact with each other, how to meet partners’ needs, and virtually every other aspect of their relationships. Also, kinky and poly folks tend to value enthusiastic participation in their relationships, and one way to ensure that everyone is happy with what is happening is to give them a voice in creating the relationship. Negotiation is so important for kinky and polyamorous folks that it frequently functions as a form of courting and/or foreplay.”
