Women’s Health
BY RENEE TREVI AS TOLD TO KRISTEN DOLD
Renee Trevi, 30, has a masters in business administration and loves adventure sports (she’s skydived 1,180 times!). She’s also a professional dominatrix living in New York City, who quit her job in finance over six years ago for BDSM-filled business hours. She’s friendly, calm, and smart—she just has a thing for cock and ball torture. Here’s what it’s like to be her:
It’s hard to put it into words what being a dominatrix is like, but it’s almost like an alternative form of therapy. Some people use meditation or work out to de-stress. Others, like my clients with unique sexual fantasies and fetishes, find spending time in a dungeon a source of relaxation and stress-relief. It’s a place where they can express their desires through BDSM.
The biggest misconception people have about BDSM is that it’s all about violence and being cruel, but there’s really much more psychology to it than physical play. You can enter what is almost an altered state of consciousness, which allows you to feel emotions more fully, tap into your authentic self, or reach deep relaxation. I think that kink can be a really healthy and fun way to heal the mind.
How I Got My Start
When I first moved to New York six years ago, I was looking for a more exciting career. I was working in finance and as a bartender, but I really enjoyed kink in my personal life and had gone to different play parties where kinksters like me met up and played with different forms of BDSM. I often used a website called FetLife to find them.
When I decided I wanted to become a dom full time, I went to a dungeon in New York for training. That entailed about a week of watching other doms in action, then participating in sessions under the guidance of my mentors, and learning to use ropes, whips, and other toys. I’ve also read books on kink, and taken advanced classes to learn how to play with electro toys, needles, sounds, and suspension equipment. …