Blue agrees, “The best way to help a partner become more engaged after sex is to converse with them. Find a neutral time and place (not right after sex or in the bedroom) when you both are relaxed and not distracted. Explore each other’s needs for post-coital activities. This is your opportunity to let them know what you would like after sex and to gain more understanding about what they may want as well. In the kink and BDSM world, we call this establishing an aftercare plan. Aftercare is a way to check in and support each other’s needs after sex. Some folks will need some physical and verbal affection, while others may want to get something to eat or drink. And some may want to sleep or watch TV,” she shares. https://www.essence.com/love/sex-talk-partner-isnt-affectionate/