Metro UK
by Miranda Kane
These days I’m a writer and stand up comedian but, for seven years, I was Melody – a £2,000 per night escort, weighing 25 stone and wearing size 30 clothes.
So, what did those years of being a plus-size dominatrix teach me about sex?
The short answer? It’s all about communication.
When a client called, I always asked ‘what kind of thing are you interested in?’. Very often the response was, ‘Umm…domination? Y’know…whatever you want.’
‘Brilliant! So I assume it’s okay to tie you up while I f*** off and watch EastEnders for an hour?’ I’d reply.
It really does pay to communicate, and be specific.
I often get asked ‘is there anything you wouldn’t do?’ and I have to remind people that I was in sex work not only for the money, but also to enjoy myself. A client’s requests are not obligatory.
I’m pretty certain that my ‘No’ list would rival The Chilcot Report in terms of brevity.
The popularity of erotic literature of late tells me most people have a kinky fantasy they’d like to try, but If you want to introduce S&M into your own relationship, you need to make it clear what you want – and what you don’t.
If you can bear it, communicate to your partner (long term, casual, paid-for or otherwise) what you would like to try, and in return be prepared to hear it.
Talk it over – if you’re uncomfortable with what your partner is interested in, say why.
Maybe even try a compromise. …