The Sydney Morning Herald
by Zachery Zane
During my exploratory college years, I was often confused about my sexuality. I knew I had loved women, but found myself, drunkenly, in the arms of various men. I wasn’t sure why I was doing it. Was I in denial of being gay? Was I simply an open-minded straight guy? Or was I just a drunk and horny hot mess?
These questions kept me up at night. Finally, my senior year of college, I entertained the idea that I might be bisexual, but I didn’t embrace the label until a year after graduating. That’s when I learned that I didn’t have to like men and women equally to be bisexual. I learned that sexuality was a spectrum, and my point on the spectrum wasn’t fixed. My attractions to various genders could evolve. In fact, it’s completely normal, and even somewhat expected that my attractions to all genders change over my lifetime.
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Polyamory is now more accepted by millennials than any generation before.
Polyamory is now more accepted by millennials than any generation before. Photo: Stocksy
In my queer theory class in college, I also learned that gender, too, is on a spectrum. Some of us don’t view ourselves as strictly male or female. We can be both, neither, or somewhere in between, aka bigender, agender or genderqueer.
This led me to ask the question: Since sexuality and gender aren’t living in a binary anymore, does monogamy have to be?
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About one in two people are comfortable about being open about their sexuality in the workplace
About one in two people are comfortable about being open about their sexuality in the workplace Photo: Alexey Klementiev/Stocksy
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with this thought. US’ YouGov recently conducted a study testing the idea of a monogamy spectrum. YouGov asked respondents questions using a seven-point spectrum (0-6), like the Kinsey scale. A zero on the YouGov scale indicated completely monogamous, whereas a six on the scale indicated completely non-monogamous. The researchers asked participants about their ideal relationship style and their current relationship style.
Interestingly, only 51 percent of people under 30 reported that their ideal relationship would be completely monogamous, compared with 58 percent ages 30 to 44, 63 percent of individuals 45 to 64, and 70 percent of individuals 65 and older. …