“I think the thing that has helped me come to term with the guilt [around sexual desires are] two things. First, my fantasies are fantasies and they don’t hurt anyone,” Jitensha said. “The second thing that helped was focusing on valuing myself. I think many of us, especially those who may have more vanilla partners, we think of ourselves as broken. As our partner is the default, and we are broken. Somehow they are doing us a favor. And that’s not right!”