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What Polyamory Can Teach Us About Secure Attachment

“Most forms of consensual non-monogamy (and there are many, as Fern describes) take that structure away, and so often lay bare our childhood wounds and attachment issues. For example, fear of abandonment can become intense when your spouse goes out on dates with others; asking for what you need can trigger greater anxieties of rejection when your mate has other “options.” In this sense, polyamory forces you to deal with past traumas, whatever their type—and quite often, it compels previously monogamous couples to take a fresh, hard look at their attachment to each other.”