By SpankCake (she/her)
NCSF Asks: What would you like to see the Leather, kink, and polyamory communities do to support AAPI awareness and AAPI people?
As a native Angeleno, seeing snow was always a novelty. Armed with charcoal briquettes, a carrot, a red scarf, and top-ish hat, my family would head up to the mountains and build a snowman. Once there, we’d hunt for the perfect twigs to form welcoming arms. This was known to us as the classic American way to build a snowman, but ours never quite turned out as you’d imagine–they always ended up looking more like a Kong toy than three perfectly balanced spheres.
The thing is, those perfectly balanced snowmen are American, just as those butt plug-esque snowmen are American. AAPI folk are often seen as “perpetual foreigners,” even if their families have been here for multiple generations. During the pandemic, there was a 77% increase in hate crimes against Asian Americans. We heard terms like “Kung Flu” and “Chinese Virus,” our elderly, some of the most vulnerable among us, got sucker-punched in the streets, and there was the absolute perplexing refusal for people to recognize the mass shooting of Asian sex workers as a hate crime.
I very much am heartened by the support of allies–our fight could not gain momentum without their support. I would encourage the Leather, kink, and poly communities to continue to support AAPI awareness and people by amplifying our voices. Seek out those voices outside Lunar New Years and the month of May. Support Asian American owned businesses, speakers, and educators. Seek council from us on matters that impact us. Make a firm stand that Asians ARE BIPOC. I am encouraged by the increased recognition of Asian persons in the leather community as a positive sign that there is a willingness in the kink community to embrace more Asian perspectives and hope to see the same sentiment bleed into the general kink and poly communities.
However, these suggestions are a lot more useful if there was a larger pool of people to choose from. Asian Americans make up just under 7% of the population in the United States. Besides specific events geared towards centering Asian kinksters, I have yet to see a party whose attendees where a significant Asian population was present.
In the name of equity, the question isn’t just what the larger communities can do to support AAPI awareness and people. It’s also about how we, as Asians, can uplift others in our communities to normalize our visibility in the Leather, kink and polyamory communities. Our pain cannot be recognized by those who do not see us.
So fellow AAPI folks, let’s see the 7%. Continue to lean into your learned skill of assimilation: take what has not, and will never, be freely given to you. Manifest your own destiny and claim the space that is rightfully yours.
After all, what could be more American than that?
Bio:
SpankCake (she/her) is an Asian American service-oriented Leather babygirl from Los Angeles and is the current International Ms. Bootblack. With over 12 years of experience as a submissive in the BDSM lifestyle, she’s deeply connected to power exchange, enjoying sensation, impact, and edge play.
In addition, SpankCake serves on the board at her local dungeon, Threshold (thresholdla.org) and is a member of its DEI team. She is a valued member, contributing to the vibrant atmosphere of inclusivity and exploration that defines Threshold. She is also the Executive Director of bootblack.org, a non-profit organization that provides support, education, and advocacy for bootblacks.
SpankCake endeavors to make her AAPISA and leather communities proud, weaving together her passion for her craft with her dedication to inclusivity and representation. As she continues to leave her mark on the world of Leather, she would like to stand as an inspiration to those who seek to embrace their true selves within the BDSM community and beyond.
@spank.cake on Instagram
facebook.com/Span_Kayk