Mashable
BY CARRIE BORZILLO
3 days ago
Meditation and bondage might seem like strange bedfellows, but they actually pair together like milk and cookies.
When you hear the word “bondage,” you probably think of pain, humiliation and degradation. You might also think of Dakota Johnson bent over a table getting paddled in Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well, there are more shades of bondage than that. One practice called meditative bondage has nothing to do with sex, violence, misogyny, or whips and chains. It’s about finding Zen, and it’s part of a growing trend I’m dubbing “New Age kink,” which combines spirituality with sexuality.
“It’s about providing containment for another human being, and it’s a conduit for connection,” explains Orpheus Black, a sex educator who teaches private and group workshops in meditative bondage, as well as other aspects of BDSM. “It’s a way to feel cared for and tended to, and a method to clear your mind and let go. It’s similar to the reason parents have swaddled their babies for centuries — the containment makes them feel safe, secure and taken care of. This is the same idea.”
In a meditative bondage session I witnessed, a clothed Orpheus Black stood behind his half-naked wife and “slave” (their words) of 20 years, Indigo Black, and slowly bound the upper part of her body. He tied her arms behind her back with a traditional Japanese bondage rope made of soft cotton. “I only bind as tight as a good hug; this is like an extended hug over time. It’s loving, not painful,” Black explains. He also sets a meditation timer, and participants typically start at just a few minutes before building up to the maximum 15 minutes. (Any longer and you might get a little numb in your extremities.)
“I only bind as tight as a good hug.”
The way he tied and untied Indigo was loving. He caressed her slowly and gently with the soft ropes, letting the rope drape down her body. Once bound, he whispered positive affirmations in her ear with warm breath on her neck, and stroked her arms with a sensual, feather-like touch. “I’d tell her she’s beautiful and remind her she’s safe and cared for. While we don’t engage in sex during this, this is great foreplay for sex and helps open your sexual energy,” he says.
The last major element is anticipatory touch. “Where would you like me to touch you?” he asked his bound wife. “My arms,” she replied. “This isn’t about sexual touch. It’s about sensual touch. I pause about 10 seconds before I touch her because that pause heightens the touch and gets her to be more present in her body,” he notes. Through this process, you could see Indigo deeply relax and even sway a little as she stood there in a meditative state. When the meditation timer went off, he untied her. (Participants can ask to be untied at any time during the practice, though.) …