Broadly
by Sirin Kale
fter a decade as a professional dominatrix, Mistress Suz knew it was time to get out of the game. “I got old,” she says bluntly. Whilst her regular clients didn’t mind having a 40-year-old dominatrix, the physical exertion got to be too much.
“My body was too old for it,” Mistress Suz—now aged 50—remembers. “I developed a bad case of tennis elbow from wielding a whip for ten years. Then a torn rotator cuff.” At a critical juncture in her life and uncertain how to proceed, Mistress Suz did what many a recent divorcee or failed novelist has done before her: She checked into a Buddhist monastery.
“Going to a monastery was a dream of mine,” Mistress Suz explains. Two months later, she was running the monastery kitchen. The professional sadist had found her new calling as a professional cook.
And Mistress Suz had a talent that made her an asset to any kitchen willing to employ her—namely, her advanced rope work skills. When asked to truss a turkey breast by her head chef, Mistress Suz wowed him with how quickly she caught on. What her new co-workers didn’t know was that Mistress Suz was unusually adept for a reason. In fact, she’d used the same technique on innumerable male submissives throughout her previous career.
Not all sex workers are able to put a decade of training to such spectacular use, but all pick up transferable skills that they can use in their future careers. Few sex workers stay in the industry for their whole working lives, and they leave for diverse reasons—often returning for short or extended stints from time to time.
“People leave for lots of reasons,” explains Raven Bowen of the University of York. Prior to entering academia, Bowen spent decades working as an advocate with sex workers in western Canada. “If people get pregnant or fall in love, they often leave right away. Middle-class sex workers might be able to make a plan when they transition out—dabble in some square jobs, then gradually leave.”
Another common motivator is a child approaching their teenage years—sex workers who aren’t out to their families become fearful that their kids (and his or her cruel classmates) will find out what industry Mom really is in. Rarest of all are the clients who live out the Pretty Woman fantasy and settle down with a client, although Bowen tells me this isn’t unheard of. “Clients have been central to many sex workers’ experience of ‘sexiting’ (leaving sex work),” Bowen explains. “They may refer them to resources or even sometimes invest in their transition.”
Many sex workers view the industry as a short-term stepping stone to a regular (or “straight”) career, and aim to retire from sex work when they’ve amassed enough money to fund tuition or open a small business, for example.
“Some women work for one or two years and they know they don’t want to continue after that so they’ll save all their money,” explains Laura Watson of the English Collective of Prostitutes. “They keep their expenses low because they’re just saving money to do what they want to do afterwards, basically.”
I ask what careers they transition into. “A lot go into beauty, opening nail bars or that sort of thing,” Watson responds. The crucial thing—if they’re working in a country where prostitution is illegal—is that they don’t have a criminal record. With a criminal record, leaving the industry can become impossible. “We worked with a sex worker who was in prostitution temporarily to cover the costs of having a disabled daughter,” Watson recalls. “The money was for specific items, for a short period of time. Then she got a criminal record and was basically unable to leave prostitution. That’s why decriminalization is so important.”
“I have a Roth IRA [a special retirement account] and a client of mine is going to help me invest a crap ton of my savings for the future,” writes West Coast-based sex worker Shay over email. “I hope to be a millionaire by 45,” she adds, although she acknowledges this is unlikely. Shay charges $400 an hour and $2,000 for overnights, and has a clear strategy for exiting sex work. And as any freelancer knows, having a good accountant is key. “Bookkeeping is a must. I’m terrible at it. Also, there can be no trail. I’m also terrible at that. Tax law is complicated. I know an accountant that specifically works with sex workers. She’s an angel.”
“Just like anyone, sex workers want to save for retirement, a home, or a career pivot,” explains Marie Thomasson, a 37-year-old financial planner living in LA who specializes in helping sex workers manage their finances. “As sex workers’ most marketable asset is often their body, and that’s pretty much a depreciating asset, it’s important to look at earnings as ‘front loaded’ in their career in sex work. If they choose to leave the industry or retire, planning is huge. It’s critical to have a budget and adequate reserves.” Keep a cool head while giving lots of head, Thomasson says, and a financially prudent sex worker might expect to retire by 35 or 40.
If you want to retire by 40, though, you’ve got to look after your physical and mental health. Shay has a secondary strategy for ensuring her professional success in a competitive and oftentimes physically arduous industry. “An aspect of retirement that is often overlooked is one’s health,” Shay comments. “In my nine months as an escort I’ve seen absolutely beautiful, brilliant women throw their lives away because they couldn’t handle the money.” …