1. Fetishists aren't freaks, (most) readers say
2. Sex, Slaves, and Castration Curiosity
3. Straight, gay, or multiple parents can all raise good kids
4. Fetish ball proves you can't force trauma
1. Fetishists aren't freaks, (most) readers say
2. Sex, Slaves, and Castration Curiosity
3. Straight, gay, or multiple parents can all raise good kids
4. Fetish ball proves you can't force trauma
Fetishists aren't freaks, (most) readers say:
As long as nobody gets hurt in the act, what's the big deal?
by staff writer
MSNBC
November 2, 2006
In the fourth story in our America Unzipped series we wrote about fetishes, and asked readers if they thought people with a fetish were mentally ill, as some psychiatric experts would say, or just having some fun.
Most readers wrote in to say that no, fetishists aren't crazy, thank you.
"Mentally ill? Lighten up, America!" wrote one reader.
"Everyone has a fetish," said another. "Whether it is an oral fixation with biting your pen caps or enjoying having a woman in high heels. It is normal, we all do it. You can either embrace your fetish tendencies or you can hide behind them and call us mentally ill. I prefer to fly my freak flag proudly."
But one reader said she needed a shower after reading our article: "Yuck! A hundred times yuck!"
Read on for more responses:
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To read this entire article, go to: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15503155/ To respond, write to: letters@msnbc.com
Sex, Slaves, and Castration Curiosity
by Mistress Matisse (opinion/advice column "Control Tower")
The Stranger (Seattle, WA)
November 1, 2006
[Q.] Hi Mistress Matisse, I'm a vanilla poly girl involved with a kinky poly guy. I'm looking for information on relating to my significant other's slave. I know about getting along nicely with your SO's OSO, but getting along nicely with your SO's slave is completely new to me. My default is to treat her like I would his girlfriend, but he says it's not that kind of relationship. Any advice for me?
[A.] My first suggestion would be to make the two of them provide some specifics on what they think is appropriate. But if that's lacking, well… assuming you and she haven't actually agreed to any kind of BDSM relationship yourselves, then you need not observe any special BDSM etiquette when dealing with her. She may not be his other girlfriend, but she's still someone he's intimately involved with, so I don't think treating her like his other partner is a bad model.
But if he insists on a different attitude, how about relating to her as if she were a highly valued and dedicated employee of your SO? Someone who has a position of trust and responsibility, but someone who still has a duty to serve his interests. There may be times when his interests overlap with yours, but let him decide that. By that I mean you, yourself, wouldn't tell such a person to fetch your coffee or carry your bags, but you'd graciously accept that kind of service if your boyfriend told her to do it. As far as her limits around what she's willing to do for you, leave that to the two of them to work out.
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To read this entire article, go to: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=97964 To respond, write to: the author at matisse@thestranger.com or the editors at editor@thestranger.com
Straight, gay, or multiple parents can all raise good kids
by Anita Wagner (published letter to the editor)
The Free Lance-Star (Fredericksburg, VA)
October 31, 2006
In Debbie Thurman's latest letter ["Gay marriage would hurt children ," Oct. 26], she writes: "The selfish social experiment of no-fault divorce hurt the family. Child abuse and child behavioral problems skyrocketed because of the increased absence of one biological parent when social science has clearly shown both parents are necessary for healthy child development and gender role modeling."
This so-called fact has been exaggerated well out of proportion to the truth, and it depends on whose version of social science is being relied upon.
Same-sex-marriage opponents have an abundance of experts who can be relied upon to produce biased studies that fit their agenda.
My personal experience certainly discounts its validity. I raised a daughter as a single parent. Today she is a married, monogamous college graduate and mother who serves our country as an officer in the U.S. Army.
She is hardly the tragic example of children of divorce so frequently trotted out by same-sex-marriage opponents.
Ms. Thurman also writes, "Gay-marriage advocacy is an admitted gateway to polyamory or group marriage."
I am not gay, but I am polyamorous. My two honest and open primary partnerships are by far healthier than either of my monogamous marriages, and there is no documented evidence whatsoever to support the implication that children with more than two parental figures suffer from growing up in multiparent households.
On the contrary, when raised in a stable, loving home, children greatly benefit from the additional resources afforded them by multiple adults who provide greater household income and more time to help with homework, attend soccer games, and so forth.
To read this letter, go to: http://fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2006/102006/10312006/232439 To respond, write to: the editors at letters@freelancestar.com
Fetish ball proves you can't force trauma
by Kathryn White
The Lantern (Ohio State University)
October 30, 2006
Evolved's annual fetish ball Trauma advertised itself as "Fetish Extravaganza + Freak Show Extreme," but those who attended the festivities Thursday Oct. 26, myself included, only left feeling, well, traumatized.
Columbus area tattoo parlor Evolved (on North High street) helps to host the fetish ball every year in late October, and the event usually boasts an array of activities, performances, contests and merchandise booths, not to mention the colorful cast of people in attendance.
This year, however, something went awry. Whether it was the venue change (the past two years, Trauma was held at Red Zone in downtown Columbus, but this year it was hosted at Fat Eddie's and the Basement in the Promowest compound next to the Lifestyles Communities Pavilion) or some other unknown element, this year's Trauma ball was lacking a certain something.
The lack of space was noticeable, for example.
The most glaring infraction were the attendees who seemed to not be able to read the rule stating, "ASK PERMISSION BEFORE TOUCHING SOMEONE." Since the signs were neither illegible nor in Swahili, there was no reason anyone should have had a hard time reading them, but my rear still got groped by three different people, all unwelcome, before the end of the evening.
Some of the performances were also starting to grow stale. "Bondage 101," for example, was presented for the third year in a row, and nothing had changed significantly from previous incarnations.
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To read this entire article, go to: http://www.thelantern.com/media/storage/paper333/news/2006/10/30/Arts/Fetish.Ball.Proves.You.Cant.Force.Trauma-2409612.shtml To respond, write to: the editors at lantern@osu.edu
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