“I’m grateful I didn’t let my nerves get the best of me. The experience taught me that the “scary” and “intense” stereotypes of the BDSM world aren’t universal. Tying can be gentle and kind, something to create connection of all types — with yourself, friends, or sexual partners. I left …
“Shame and judgment do go hand in hand—and our culture, especially when it comes to sexuality, is a shame-based one. When combined with complicated feelings about dominance and submission, pain and pleasure, we are prone to negatively judge ourselves and by extension others, in a subconscious attempt to relieve the …
“Communication is lubrication, friends! Be sure that you and your partner(s) fully discuss and negotiate what the scene will look like and what kind of play is going to take place. Everyone within a scene must have their boundaries respected at all times. Have safe words in place to stop …
“Ideally if we’re saying non monogamy, it should be ethical and consensual, built into it,” said marriage and family therapist and host of the Sluts & Scholars podcast, Nicoletta Heidegger. “Otherwise it would be cheating.” https://mashable.com/article/what-is-consensual-non-monogamy
Regardless of the exact agreements at play, a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” relationship structure allows people to receive only the information they actually want to receive, within a container that is safe, loving, and consensual. “It offers a clear and intentional way to create a filter valve on the flow …
“Studies find that about one in five persons has had an open relationship, the same proportion of the population that owns cats, according to Moors. Think about the number of people you know who have a feline for a pet. A similar number of those in your social circle have …
“When issues like swinging are discovered, however, the laissez faire impression that the government gives some applicants by not asking about the conduct quickly shows itself as a façade. Suddenly, the government does have an interest in the applicant’s sex life, and a deeply invasive one at that. It is …
“Beyond just attending to multiple partners’ needs, poly people must also contend with deprogramming their own deeply ingrained conditioning. Whether from rom-coms or our own parents, most of what we’ve been taught about love has been filtered through a monogamous lens, so rewriting that script can be arduous, even for …
“It’s funny: Our expectations at kink parties are higher than in other settings like mainstream dance clubs or even some workplaces. We don’t tolerate harassment of any kind and demand that everyone be treated with respect. I think kink spaces are where society meets intimacy. We used to view sex …
“I am speaking over Zoom to Luke Brunning, a philosopher at the University of Leeds whose research focuses on relationships. He is explaining an idea he called the “paradox of prevalence”. “It’s such a common experience to feel attraction to more than one person at a time romantically, it’s something …
