Creative Loafing
We met at a local bar on a Monday night, as friends do, to talk about the meaning of life and such. As we finished our second beer, he cleared his throat.
“We should probably discuss what we like to make sure we’re on the same page,” he said.
“Agreed.”
This was how my first BDSM relationship began — with a conversation.
The topic comes on the heels of the hype created by the controversial New York Times best-seller Fifty Shades of Grey, an erotic trilogy where a virginal college student participates in a BDSM relationship as a result of the sexual interests of a new lover. Dubbed “mommy porn” because of its suburban female demographic and strong sexual nature, the e-book shot to No. 1 on the New York Times e-book fiction best-seller list, leaving America to wonder, “What does this say about modern American women?”
Although I haven’t read it, mostly due to its seemingly cheesy Twilight nature, the book’s popularity thrills me. Its success strikes me as a slap across the face to slut-shamers the nation over, with women assuming control of their sex lives. Not because they’re going to run out and buy a bunch of S&M gear (although, trends show they have in some parts of the country), but because it means women are curious and hungry to explore other facets of intimacy, even if they don’t stick with it. …