Your Rights. Your Privacy. Your Freedom.

Media Update – August 5, 2004

   1. Judge Awards Ex-Porn Star Custody Of Daughter

   2. Death becomes her

   3. Salt Lake trio sues for right to polygamist marriage

   4. YES: Same-sex unions damage marriage, open door to polygamy

   1. Judge Awards Ex-Porn Star Custody Of Daughter

   2. Death becomes her

   3. Salt Lake trio sues for right to polygamist marriage

   4. YES: Same-sex unions damage marriage, open door to polygamy


Judge Awards Ex-Porn Star Custody Of Daughter


NBC 5 (Dallas-Ft. Worth)

August 5, 2004


NEW BRAUNFELS, Texas — A Central Texas judge Wednesday awarded main custody of a 3-year-old girl to her mother, an ex-adult entertainer.


Laura Carney, 35, was involved in a custody battle after her husband, Patrick Carney, 50, said his wife was an unfit mother because of her past appearances in bondage and fetish films and alleged mental illnesses.


Patrick Carney will be allowed to visit with his daughter on weekends.


To read this article, go to: To respond, go to:br />

Death becomes her


by Dan Savage (opinion and advice) The Boston Phoenix August 4, 2004


[Q. by "WEDDG"] I've always had a fantasy of playing with the limp body of an extremely beautiful woman who is pretending to be dead. Real death grosses me out. I've never had a problem meeting girls, but sometimes I have to visualize my fantasy to stay hard.


To make a long story short, I recently paid a fetish model at a BDSM dungeon to enact my fantasy of a corpse in a morgue. She did a great job, but I was surprisingly not aroused. Could it be that I'm not into this? Or could I have conditioned myself into thinking I'm into this fantasy by overthinking and overwanking? Should I try and purge it entirely from my mind? Or am I hopelessly and permanently tethered to it?


[Answer by Dan]: Or could it be that indulging in the most extreme version of your limp-woman fantasy – a female corpse in a morgue – was less of a turn-on than, say, a kinder, gentler version of your fantasy might be? Let's back up a little, WEDDG: while the power dynamics at play in some people's fantasy scenarios are more obvious than in others, almost all sexual fantasies are, at bottom, about power and control. From BDSMers to foot fetishists to women who want to peg their boyfriends, people eroticize power because our subconscious minds, tormented by our sexual urges, process our fears by eroticizing them.


Sad to say, this desire isn't going to go away – fetishes don't go away, WEDDG. We can wrestle with 'em, look back over our lives and tease out the clues, we can choose to act on them or not, but we can't erase 'em. What you can do, however, is attempt to refocus your desire for power and control away from female corpses (which is going to scare most women off) and toward some other, more common, less terrifying kinks that will allow you to indulge your bedrock erotic urge – which, again, is to have power and control over the woman in your bed, not actually to have a dead woman in your bed. Luckily for you, WEDDG, there are a lot of women out there who get off on playing power-and-control games. The sane ones want to be powerless in short doses and under carefully controlled circumstances, but they're out there. If you can refocus your P&C kink on, say, tying up an extremely beautiful woman or having a beautiful woman who's your willing slave, not your cadaver, you will be less insecure and ashamed.




To read this article, go to:

To respond, write to:

the author at [email protected] or the editors at [email protected]

Salt Lake trio sues for right to polygamist marriage


Associated Press report

via The Tucson Citizen (Arizona)

August 4, 2004


SALT LAKE CITY – If Texas cannot criminalize sodomy, Utah should not be able to criminalize polygamy, argued the attorney for three adults who want to live together as husband and wives.


The three filed a lawsuit after they were denied a marriage license by the Salt Lake County Clerk's Office in December.


They ask that the county clerk be required to issue the marriage license, and they seek a declaration that the state's criminal and civil bans of polygamy are unconstitutional.




To read this article, go to:

To respond, write to: [email protected]

YES: Same-sex unions damage marriage, open door to polygamy


by Mike Hoey

Special to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch

July 31, 2004


The so-called "gay-marriage ban" that voters will consider Tuesday makes no reference to same-sex unions but simply affirms that marriage is between a man and a woman. Opponents characterize the amendment as discriminatory against gays, but few consider that redefining marriage would unjustly harm married couples or those considering marriage.


Later this year my wife and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage. One thing I have learned is that a successful marriage is not an island unto itself. A married couple needs the support of family and friends. In similar fashion, the institution of marriage lends support to each marriage by promoting certain values like monogamy and faithfulness.


Redefining marriage would re-enact the classic Trojan Horse scenario: Under the guise of marriage, same-sex and polygamous relationships would slip inside the gates of marriage and promote values in direct contradiction to the values of traditional marriage.


If polygamous marriages were recognized, then marriage could no longer promote monogamy. Those who don't think polygamy is a threat to traditional marriage should reconsider. On the very day Missourians vote on Amendment 2, the state of Utah will be in federal district court to defend its ban on polygamy.




To read this article, go to:,+open++door+to+polyga

To respond, write to: [email protected]



Feedback letters are an effective way to convey a positive image of alternate sexual practices such as SM, swinging, or polyamory. You can help to correct negative social myths and misconceptions about these types of practices. These letters help achieve the advocacy goals of the NCSF.


Generally, for a letter to be published, it's important to include your name (or first initial, last name), city and daytime phone (for verification only). For more information, see:


Please alert us to positive, negative or neutral stories about SM, swinging and polyamory at [email protected]