Edge Boston
by Christiana Lilly
To some, the world of sexuality is a black and white one, a place where you’re either straight or not. But it’s far from that — the LGBT movement’s symbol has long been the rainbow flag, including shades of varying sexual orientations and identities.
Taking it even further, there are even more ways of expressing sexuality and gender, and for 15 years, it’s been the mission of the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle.
“I personally do not like the word ‘alternative’ sexuality because I think that all of our sexuality is legitimate,” said Allena Gabosch, the executive director. “But for people in areas of sexuality that are not as mainstream… there’s not a lot of space to be that way and be with people that are like you.”
Sex positivity, in short, is the idea that if it’s a sexual lifestyle where all adults involved are consenting — whether for pleasure, an expression or love, or part of spiritual belief — why dismiss it? With its roots in the free love movement of the ’60s and ’70s, Gabosch says sexual positivity has since shifted from a sexual revolution to its renaissance today.
When the center was formed in 1999, the executive director had no idea that it would become what it is today. Throughout the month, the center hosts socials and meetings for people who consider themselves to be LGBT, polyamorous and polygamist, kinky, asexual, and a litany of other sexual persuasions. Here, people can learn more about a lifestyle they might be interested in or meet other people like them in a safe place where they’re not odd.
“The sex positive movement affects everyone,” she said. “Those in our community who are LGBT even more so in that sex negativity and sexual shaming seems more prevalent toward those who identify as LGBT.”
Today, there are 2,200 active members and over the last 15 years 16,000 people have been a part of the center. Gabosch has also noticed that the movement has become more mainstream as television shows and books tackle BDSM and polyamory. The scripted drama, “Big Love,” and reality TV shows “My Five Wives” and “Sister Wives” on TLC have shown the idea of adults being perfectly happy with more than one spouse is possible.
Also, while bodice-ripper novels and pulp fiction have been around for decades, the mainstream “50 Shades of Grey” got more people talking about bringing kink into the bedroom… or talking about how they and their partner had already been doing it.
“Young people today are so much more fluid around orientation, around gender, around sexual interest,” Gabosch said. “I’ve been speaking to colleges for 20-plus years and I’ve watched students’ reactions and I’ve listened very carefully to the kinds of questions, and the questions I get now are more well thought out. They’re less reactive, they’re less shamefaced, they’re less fearful.” …