Medical Daily
by Lizette Borreli
It’s no secret the trilogy and impending release of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey has sparked our curiosity of the taboo 6-for-4 deal acronym: Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism, also known as BDSM or S&M. Kinky sex has been defined not by what it is but by what it’s not, and unfortunately, that means others’ misconceptions about couples who follow this lifestyle. BDSM is not only a gateway for sexual experimentation that steers away from “vanilla” sex; it can also lead to physical and mental health benefits.
Americans have been feeding their sexual appetite with BDSM far more than the rest of the world. Thirty-six percent of adults in the U.S. use masks, blindfolds, and bondage tools during sex, according to a survey by Durex, compared to only 20 percent worldwide. Although theAmerican Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) considers the elusive fiefdom practice a disorder if it causes people stress or dysfunction in their lives, it can actually enhance overall well-being.
Dr. Sandra LaMorgese, a sexpert, professional dominatrix, fetishist, and a holistic practitioner in mind, body, and spiritual holistic living in New York City, N.Y., believes BDSM can help couples bond and feel at ease. “During BDSM sessions, clients often experience a release of dopamine and serotonin, the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters. These two chemicals are associated with feelings of happiness, tranquility, joy, self-confidence, emotional well-being, and motivation. In addition, the release of the chemical vasopressin compels people toward feeling bonded to one another,” LaMorgese told Medical Daily in an email.
Here are six other reasons why it may be time to take a pass on vanilla sex.
1. Improves Communication
Couples who practice BDSM tend to fare better than non-kinky couples when it comes to communication. This is because couples are more aware and communicative about their sexual desires that they know the importance of having a discussion. The utility of tools like “safe words” and making a distinction between “play” and otherwise typical relationship interaction is what contributes to the excellent communication between partners.
“BDSM friendly couples require impeccable communication whereas many mainstream relationships communicate about their sexuality as a result of ‘inflammation’ or challenges that arise. For a BDSM relationship to thrive, it must rely on a foundation of transparency and effective interaction,” Dr. Jeffrey Sumber, a psychotherapist in Chicago, Ill., told Medical Dailyin an email.
2. Increases Intimacy
Adventure in between the sheets can increase intimacy among couples. The fact that many of these activities involve physical risk actually contributes to the level of intimacy that BDSM can produce. Patricia Johnson, award-winning co-author of Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-term Love told Medical Daily in an email: “If someone is going to bind your wrists or tie you to a Saint Andrew’s cross and flog you, there has to be a high level of trust at work. This is also why you should seek instruction before trying anything but the mildest forms of kinky play.”
A 2009 study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior found people who report their SM activities that go well actually show an increase in relationship closeness. This is in conjunction with the displays of caring and affection seen in consensual SM activities. The couples also showed a decrease in cortisol levels. …