The Spartan
by Taylor Atkinson
In the interest of supporting consensual kink and not abuse, it is time to advance the conversation about alternative sex.
The Alternative Amory and Kink Union at San Jose State University is an anonymous, supportive space for students to explore the world of kink and polyamory through educational and explorational discussions in meetings and informative panels given by credentialed professionals. It has been a campus-recognized club for two years.
“It’s a community that understands,” said Cassie Lawrence, who uses an alias to identify herself. “It seems intimidating, it really does, but it’s a journey. We want to encourage people to check it out.”
Club host Ryan Ventura said it uses alternative amory as an umbrella term to encompass both monogamous kink and polyamorous relationships.
He said this term truly addresses everyone in whatever form they choose to express their relationships.
“I end up using polyamory … I feel like that’s a catch-all phrase, but if you look in the dictionary it’s not,” Ventura said. “There’s so much diversity in how a relationship can develop–emotionally, romantically, physically, sexually–and once you add up the number of people involved it gets really complex. It’s alternative amory.”
Ventura said the majority of meetings are discussion-based, and he identifies as a host instead of a president because he is essentially just hosting the conversation. Lawrence is a co-host and moderator.
“We try to alternate our meetings so we’ll have one where we focus on a kink topic and one where we focus on alternative amory,” Ventura said.
Lawrence said various titles are used to identify a person’s role in a relationship involving bondage and discipline, dominance and submission and sadomasochism or BDSM.
“Ninety-five percent of the time, labels are for convenience,” Lawrence said. “We’re not just going to be sitting there dressed in leather, holding whips and floggers. We’re normal people too and we want to be a bridge between the community of SJSU and the community of South Bay kink.”
Ventura said the book-turned-movie “Fifty Shades of Grey” sparked mainstream interest in kink and related lifestyles. To increase its presence on campus, the group held a panel on the book in November prior to the film’s release.
“We thought, ‘We should probably do a panel on that because there’s going to be a huge influx of people who don’t really know what this is about,’” Ventura said. “It is a gross misrepresentation of what kink is.”
The number of students involved in the club has varied since its first meeting. For those not comfortable attending meetings in person, they can participate in conversation online, where there is a much larger presence.
“My initial approach to running the organization was no online access, no member list, no nothing,” Ventura said. “We found just through membership numbers that was way too extreme. There were people who were probably looking for a resource and had no idea how to find it.”
Ventura said he may not know everyone personally, not even their real name, but that is what kink is about. Many members fear
persecution and choose to be identified by an alias.
“I’d say a little more than half of them will go by their real name in meetings, but we have a rule, what you would call the Vegas rule,” Ventura said. “What happens here, stays here.”
According to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, people who practice kink are persecuted in high numbers. In a 2008 survey pool of 3,058 respondents, 37.5 percent indicated they experienced any combination of harassment, violence and/or discrimination based on their sexual expression or a perception thereof. …